Okay so i'm super bored and you guys know what happens when i get super bored. But for those of you that dont know i will explain for you. When i get super bored i either

1~Rant about something

2~Whine about something

and or

3~Try to write something with meaning that might help you smile,laugh, or maybe even think a little.

I think today it will be alittle of all three, oh yeah i know its alot to handle but just bare with me here.

   ~*~RANT~*~

   I hate when you wave at someone and they just look at you, Like i'm throwing them the bird or something! I'm like "what the heck, i'm just being nice." i dont need a death stare, i need a wave back. Or maybe even just a smile! I MEAN COME ON how hard is it to pick up your hand and wave back. If you can text and drive you can wave and drive...its not rockit science.

*^*WHINE*^*

    Why is it that when your hurt and confused you dont want to tell people whats actually wrong, you just want to whine about it? I mean the other day i was so down, hurt, and sad..and the one guy that really cares about me wanted to know what was wrong b.c he couldn't stand to see me hurting and i wouldn't tell him what was wrong with me. Yeah in time he got it out of me but i was so..i guess scared to tell him. Scared he would laugh at my pain i guess, and when he didn't laugh and he just stood there listening to me and then i realiZed he really does care. Its not all a lie, he isn't faking just to get close use me and then run..he really cares. And that feeling was amaZing! YET i was so stupid not knowing if i just let him in he could change my world, change how i look at things...he could and does make me feel like his world!

*-*Thinking Time*-*

    when people look at you, who do they see? Do they know your a Jesus Lover. Do they see understanding and caring. Do they think happy and laughter. What do they see????? You might want to look over yourself and make sure your putting out whats really you and not the fake crap that helps you fite in, makes you look cool, or whatever its called these days.

 

 

PEACE

 

laugh. its way fun. and play NewsPaper Football...its makes you laugh lol

When Youre Gone - Avril Lavigne

BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...let me see your hips swing oh shhh...

lol sorry that song is stuck in my head. WHATS UP MY PEOPLE!? i'm bored.

Is it safe to laugh?

Amazing Because It Is - The Almost

SO! alots going on and i dont feel like telling you all about it.

But this song is amaZing and i love it.

Level 1:
[x]I had an asthma attack
[ ]Smoked A Cigarette
[ ]Smoked A Cigar
[ ]Smoked Weed
[ ] Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
[] (small kine)]Drank Alcohol
[X]Been In Love
[x]Been Dumped
[ ]Been Fired
[]Been In A Fist Fight
[ ]Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
Total: 3Level 2:
[X]Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
[ ]Been Arrested/Seen Someone You Know Get Arrested
[ ]Made Out With A Stranger
[ ]Gone Out On A Blind Date
[x]Had A Crush On An Older Person
[ ]Skipped School
[ ]Slept With A Co-worker
[x ]Seen Someone/Something Die
Total: 6Level 3:
[] Been On A Plane
[ ] Thrown Up From Drinking
[X] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been Snowboarding
[ ] Met Someone BECAUSE Of Myspace
[] Been Mosh Pitting
[x] Taken Pain Killers
[ x] Love(d) Someone Who You Can't Have
[ ] Been in a BAD relationship
Total: 9Level 4:
[x]Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
[x]Made A Snow Angel
[X]Had A Tea Party
[x]Flown A Kite
[x]Built A Sand Castle
[x]Gone Puddle Jumping
[x]Played Dress Up
[x]Made A Pile Of Leaves
[x]Gone Sledding
[x]Jumped Into A pile of leaves
[x]Cheated While Playing A Game
total:  20Level 5:
[x]Been Lonely
[x]Fallen Asleep At Work/School
[ ]Used A Fake/Someone Else's ID
[x]Watched The Sun Set/sun rise
[ x]Felt An Earthquake
[ ]Kissed A Snake
[x]Been Tickled
[X]Been Robbed/Vandalized
[ ]Robbed Someone
[x]Been Misunderstood
total: 27Level 6:
[X]Pet A Deer
[x]Won A Contest
[ ]Been Suspended
[ ]Had Detention
[ ]Been In A Car/Motorcycle Accident
[x]Had/Have Braces
[ ]Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
[ ]Had deja vu
[ x]Danced in the moonlight
[x]Hate(d) The Way You Look
total: 32 Level 7:
[x]Witnessed A Crime
[x]Questioned Your Heart
[ ]Been obsessed with post-it-notes
[x]Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
[x]Been Lost
[ ]Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
[x]Swam In The Ocean
[ x]Felt Like You Were Dying
[x]Cried Yourself To Sleep
total: 39 

Level 8:
[Xxxxxxxx]Played Cops And Robbers
[xxxxxxxxx]Recently Colored With Crayons/Colored Pencils/Markers
[x]Sang Karaoke
[x]Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
[x]Made Prank Phone Calls
[ ]Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose
[ ]Kissed In The Rain
[x]Written A Letter To Santa Claus
[]Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe total: 45 Level 9: [x ]Watched the sunset w/ someone you care/cared about
[x]Blown Bubbles
[]Made A Bonfire On The Beach
[ x]Crashed A Party
[ ]Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
[x]Gone Rollerskating/Blading
[x]Had A Wish Come True
[ ]Been Humped By A Monkey
[x ]Worn Pearls
[ x]Jumped Off A Bridge
total: 52Level 10:
[]Screamed 'Penis'
[ ]Swam With Dolphins
[x]Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube/Popsicle
[ ]Kissed A Fish
[x]Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
[X]Sat On A Roof Top
[xxxxxxx]Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
[x]Done/ATTEMPTED A One-Handed Cartwheel 
[ I'm not sure if it was 6hours. Tyler how long did we talk when you were waiting for your next flight back to Hawaii??? ]talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
[x]stayed Up All Night
total: 58Level 11:
[X]Picked & Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
[X]Climbed A Tree
[X]Had/Been In A Tree House
[x]Have been/Are scared To Watch Scary Movies alone
[ ]Seen a Ghost
[ ]Have/Had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes or Flip Flops
[ ]gone streaking
[]Been to/Visited Someone At Jail
[x]Played Chicken
[x(lillys party lol]Been Pushed Into A Pool With All Your Clothes On
total: 64
Level 12: [x]Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
[]Broken A Bone
[x]Are/Been Easily Amused [x]Caught A Fish
[x]Caught A Butterfly
[x]Laughed So Hard You Cried
[x]Cried So Hard You Laughed
[]Mooned/Flashed Someone
[x]had someone Moon/Flash You
total: 71
Level 13: []Cheated On A Test
[x]Forgotten Someone's Name
[]Slept Naked
[ x]French braided someones hair
[]Gone Skinny dipping In A pool
[ ]Been Kicked Out Of Your House.
[x]Rode A Roller Coaster
[x]Had A Cavity
total: 75Level 14:

[ ]Been Used

[x]Fell Going Up The Stairs
[ ]Licked A Cat
[x]Bitten Someone
[x]Licked Someone
[X]Been shot at with a paint ball/bee bee gun(OW!)
[ ]Had sex in a field/garden
[ ]Flattened someones tires
[ ]Drove in a car until it ran out of gas
[x]Had five dollars or less and bought something.
total: 80

Final Total: 80 out of 140

Two names you go by:
   1.Grace

   2.Chico ... lol

Two things you are wearing right now:
    1.Black TENNESSEE shirt    2.My favorite tan shorts.Two things you want very badly at the moment:
 1.Someone to lean on and talk to  2.Some cake!Two people who will fill this out:
   1.Seeing Carmen already did it..    2...no one
Two things you did last night:
   1. Went to two graduations. Its was WAY fun :P   2. TextedTwo things you ate Yesterday:   1. CAKE :)   2. ...i dont remeber anything else lol
Two people you last talked to:  1. Seth  2. Sam  Two things you're doing today:
  1. Going to some thing with Carmen  2. Texting..like always :P
Two longest car rides:
   1. Michigan   2. IDKTwo favorite beverages:
   1.Water    2. Coffee

My Beautiful Rescue - This Providence

i need to type. i need to let it out. i need to say what i need to say here so i dont let it out in a place i shouldn't or a time i should be silent.

People change, i get this, i'm not stupid. But why is it that i see they are changing and hate it yet they cant see it and could care less. I myself am changing, i'm growing and pushing through, and in a way that kinda scars me. I'm scared i'm gona be the kid that someone sees changing and hates it and they think i could care less. I dont think i'm changing for the worse. Let me list the ways i have changed and you tell me if its bad or not.

1~ i've come to realize, MOST (not all but most) guys are scum. And the ones that aren't....dont seem to want to just be friends.

2~ I've come to find that dating is not for me at this moment in time. I want to be a kid as long as i can and dating is one more thing that makes me grow up. I'll worry about that when it matters and is really and truly dating b.c these days kids think going to the movies and eating fast food is a date..haha sorry to crush you kids but thats not even close haha

3~ I find that i'm a Jesus Lovers....i dont like being called a Christian just b/c of the bad name it has gotten. And i have seen many people that CALL them selves 'Christians' and act....in a way i know Jesus wouldn't smile about. SO i call myself a Jesus Lover :) And its fun :P

yeah the list kinda stops there..lol i guess i haven't changed or grown much but it is pretty amaZing to me that i figured all this out clear as day in a matter of 2 weeks i think it was :) So yeah it makes me happy...and i've been so happy lately...except when i see some people but yeah its been pretty good :)
Love you guys :)

 

I have a question. And please answer me.

What if you fall for someone that you have no chance with but you cant help yourself?

You guys know me. I'm not the kinda girl that falls for just anyone, now i might trip up a few times but never fall. I know i need to stand on my own two feet and i am....but i cant help but fall wishing he would catch me....

i dont know the guy this is in memory of but its a tight song. its what i wish i had with my "dad".

WoW. Me life has been amaZingly amaZing! its really nice. Yeah there have been times i wanted to scream at a few people but thats normal (come on we are all human you cant lie and say you never wanted to scream at people. Even if it is the stupid people driving these days lol)

I've been busy but with things i enjoy and want to do :) so thats good, and school is pretty much out for me :) YAAaaaaAAA. What else is there....nothing really.

OH this summer is going to be all time!i have so much to do but its all for Jesus so its all good :P lol
I gots to go but text me if you want to hang out sometime :) :)

love ya

period 1: Bible
period 2: Biology
period 3: Literature
period 4: Spanish
period 5: Algebra
period 6: Art
period 7: Nothing

 

People You Mostly Talked To During:
Uhmm seeing i'm homeschooled...i would have to be talking to myself..
SO i dont talk to anyone during anything lol
period 1:
period 2:
period 3:
period 4:
period 5:
period 6:
period 7:

Random Questions:

Who was your favorite teacher?
Seeing i am my own teach i would have to say...ME

Who annoyed you most during 3rd period?
Uhmm i'm the only on in the class..

Who did you sit with at lunch?
Seth, sometimes Scooter if he is home....

Are you most likely to fall asleep or not pay attention?
I fall asleep all the time, but when i wake up i start right back up
where i left off.

Which class did you get the most homework?
they are pretty much the same

Which class were you the most hyper?
Probably Art

What was your favorite class?
Literature

Do you like lunch?
Yeah, its food..so its good

Do you like going to school?
I dont GO anywhere but its not that bad i suppose

Who sits behind you in Period 3?
no one.

How many kids are in your Period 2?
uhmmm one

What teacher do you dislike the most?
seeing i am the ONLY teach and i dont really 'dislike' myself...i like
my teacher

Can you talk in your 3rd period?
I can talk whenever i want to

Who sits next to you in 5th period?
..sometimes my cat......

Who sits in front of you in 6th?
....no one....

Summarize your year in three words?
oh so boring

What do you hope next year is gonna be like?
More fun

What do you hope will change next year?
I dont know.

Ha Ha Ha so i've made some new friends and i've grown closer to Christ. Life sucks but then its amaZing. And you know what sucks the most...my past with guys. Its like if i had never gone out with Tyler nor Charlie my life would be amaZing right now, but i wouldn't have had such a great past. Its a bitter sweet thing. BUT anyway, every where i turn someone is talking about Charlie or i see him and he looks at me like he has never met me. Or i'll hear Tyler and I's song from when we were going out or i'll be some where and remember Tyler and i did something stupid there or something like that. BUT then there is my good friend Carmen to cheer me up :P lol but dude i'm made some new friends and its tight! There is BestFriend (Kasey, ha there are no words for Kasey. LoL he is just a really fun guy friend..and its fun to hang out with him, he doesn't make it were i have to like like him or he isn't gona talk to me..he just wants to have fun like me!) BoB Dillon (Dillon, he is..more of Carmens friend then mine but he is cool to hang out with) Zooey (Zooey, i'm just getting to know her but she is pretty nifty.) Matty (Matt, he is pretty much like Kasey...just more hoish. lol Carmen will know what i mean by that.)

ANYWAYS..all this to say, i'm starting to fit in, starting to get where when i'm hit i get right back up! its kinda nice!

Well love you guys :)

lol its random but fun.

Hey,

Okay so this 'post' wont be as long as my last one but i just wanted to stop in and talk for a minute. so here it goes...

Jesus has proven i'm weak! in more ways then one! And i think thats just what i needed. I needed to know i'm weak, i cant win this on my own, i cant fight this fight...who am i kidding, i swing but Gods doing the real fighting, He just lets me think i'm actually doing something.

I cant wait to go to church tomorrow, not only to prove that i can do this with Christ and Christ alone but i want to be face my hurts..i wanted to be faced with the person that has crused me time and time again to let him know i'm better then that. I'm hyped to stand for Christ and say "you cant run from him! You cant leave Him and make it"...You dont really know who i'm talking about ... well Carmen does, but anyway...i'm hyped to be on fire for Christ again. I know i know in my last post it was sad and stupid but today is a new day, and i like that!

Love you guys and hope your having an amaZing day!! :)

Smile For Me!

it makes me smile :P

 

Hey Hey Hey. Its been a while. Life has been nothing but ups and downs, and i can never see dead ahead. Times flys then slows to a crawl. I stand then i get pushed to the ground. I reach out for help and get slapped with more problems from all sides. I open my eyes in hope to see something but get blinded by the light that needs me no where.

I know i usually whine on phusebox then say how amaZing life is on MySpace, but i guess i try to be all hype and happy for most people but on here i could care less what you think of me. Seth tells me all the time to be who you are, it doesn't matter what people say. But words always hurt, no matter if they are in love or not.

Ha i'm just gona lay it out there for you and i know most of you wont even read this. No one gets on here anymore, and no cares anymore so what does it matter right.

Life...oh life in itself sucks beyond words. I know i've been through little compared to..say Tyler. He moved away from all he knew and all he wanted. But look at him now, he is a whole new person (not saying it was for the better) he likes where he is and wants to wake up in the morning, he thinks nothing he does is wrong and finds joy. I know my life is way easy and that i should suck it up and move on. But after sucking it up year after year and having to keep pushing through and helping others...really gets to you and brings you down after a while.

Like for once i found real joy again since the whole thing with Tyler. I was super happy and people could tell, my smile wasn't just a face i was wearing, i felt happy! i missed that and i was getting back into the happniess and joy and loved every minute of it. But all that came crashing down in one night, in a matter of minutes. My smile fall like a ton of breaks and i could feel the heavy sadness and hurt fall over me. I reached for help by was turned down with a smile. Why does this always seem to happen???? Why is it that everyone gets their lives right and happy while mine falls and crashes to dust that everyone seems to walk all over. And when my life is hype and happy everyone else is crashing and me being me trys to help and that just brings me crashing down with them. This sucks!!!

I guess all i can do is keep my head up, look forward, stand tall, and keep moving. I'm not gona give up after all i've been through, theres got to be more then this. Theres got to be! I'm gona fight this, i'm gona win this!

Hey, well life changed today. It changes every day but i didn't see this coming AT ALL. Its funny how when you get happy and find a place you are smiling with 100% joy, something goes wrong and you cry 100% sadness. I guess i'm not truly laughing about it now but i know i will soon. Tomorrow is gona be really hard for me, i'm gona have to start faking again. I've faked for so long, i got to a place were i didn't have to fake it anymore..and now i have to go back to my old ways.

(sigh) life goes on. I have to suck it up and move on. There is no time to vent,cry,fight,yell, or scream. I have to move on and get my life back. Its in the hands of all my friends,guys,working,horses..i need my life back!!!!