im finally gonna get some pictures of my own on here! woot woot! lol. they will hopefully be on here by friday.

but yeah...have you ever been so confused about someone that you didnt know whether or not you should feel the way you do about them? ........

ahhhhh!

lol. sorry....

sorry ... had to rant ....

besides all that mess life is pretty good right now. i just found out yesterday that i got a raise at little caesars. yeah-ya! lol. .... im just kinda floatin around in my own little world lately. i like it alot better than this world...ya know? all the drama...hate..hurt....drama...i dont know. i guess its my only escape right now.

i always seem to set myself for disapointment. i see life as a fairytale. i want prince charming to come and rescue me from this world of hate into true love. i want to graduate from college become an elementary teacher get married and have a family. i wanted the guy of my dreams to ask me to prom and pick me up at my house and watch the sunrise in the morning.........

of course i know none of this is going to happen. considering one of them already didnt happen. and i know i have set my bar too high. but all a girl can do is dream.....right?

had a clothes drive at church on saturday. result?...helping low income familys with there wordrobe, brushing up on my street basketball (lol), and....

A MAJOR SUNBURN!!!! OWWWW!!!

its getting better though. it doesnt hurt quite as much as it did. and i dont look as much as a lobster. lol. but i have a farmers tan now cause i wore a tshirt. so im gonna have to get ove rmy fear of the tannin bed and go....ahhhhh! skin cancer here i come....

yeah thats pretty much how i feel right now. the funny thing is...i cant really tell you why. wierd... i dont know im just stuck in a rut. but i dont quite know what it is. i mean ide fix it if i did. but.....yeah....and ive tried everything. the beastie boys cant even seem to lift these spirits of mine. darn it! lol. well i guess im off to try something else....

toodles!

your mom walks in and says,"whats that noise!". awww mom your jealous! its the beastie boys!

ahhh listening to the beastie boys always seems to lift the spirits. lol

...........

im in greenbrier! i havnt been here in forever. im happy....

this is my two youngest cousins, down here, preston and drew...

michael buble.....need i say more?

This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love

whats the purpose on giving up?....i mean on anything. what good does it do? absolutley none. sure its the easy thing to do but why not fight? fighting is what has kept me spiratually alive. without fighting i would have fell back into depression. i would be doin no tellin what. i havnt always been sweet carol as everyone has known me. before i moved to murfreesboro and got into church i was not a happy acquaintence. god and church is what has gotten me where i am now. and i am not giving up anytime soon. and to those of you that on your way there or have already given up please listen to my advice. god is the only thing that will get you out of your rut. no substance, music, or person comes even close to the one and only savior.

i was thinkin about life. just life in general. and i realized that people to often take it for granted. i always here people sayin how there life sucks or how they wish they were someone else. but my question is ...why? i mean if your life doesnt seem all that it could be why just sit around and complain about it. why not get out there and start makin it something worth while. dont just sit and watch your life go by. jump in.

I was reading Acts in detention yesterday and came across this and it made me think "if only everyone had the faith of Paul and Silas." i mean usually when we are feeling down and the world is against us we just give up. but instead we should be worshiping god. he never brings us to a hill we cant climb...never.

16 And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying:
17 The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which show unto us the way of salvation.
18 And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.
19 And when her masters saw that the hope of their gains was gone, they caught Paul and Silas, and drew [them] into the marketplace unto the rulers,
20 And brought them to the magistrates, saying, These men, being Jews, do exceedingly trouble our city,
21 And teach customs, which are not lawful for us to receive, neither to observe, being Romans.
22 And the multitude rose up together against them: and the magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat [them].
23 And when they had laid many stripes upon them, they cast [them] into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely:
24 Who, having received such a charge, thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks.
25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
26 And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.

i was looking at a people magazine in first period and it once again proved why i dont read that stuff. there were like six pictures of britney spears just out minding her own business. and she had a little stomach bulge, as in she didnt have a six pack. and just because shes not in shape there speculatin that she might be pregnant again. come on people she just had a baby for goodness sakes! let her enjoy it! geeze...im not sayin im a big fan of britney spears cause im not. but this world expects everybody to be perfect. and that just isnt possible.

dontcha love it when people think they know everything about you. therefore they try there very best to turn it against you. ha! thats what i have to say to them. im proud of who i am. and honestly i wouldnt give a nickel to be who you are.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 23

And I´ll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

And you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

Yeah my birthdays monday. but the only things i see that are good about it are i can stay out as late as i want and i can like or date a guy thats older than me and people not freak out.

Do you ever have those moments when you wish you could go back in time and change everything in a situation? i have. the most recent one is that i threw away a relationship that could have been so much more. and the sad part about it is that i just recently realized it.