So right now I feel both physically and emotionally sick.  Things are pretty much going downhill fast.  I don't know how to stop.  I need a nice long weekend to myself.  I need to prepare for next week.  I need to go crazy for once.  I'm being dragged into things that I don't want to be a part of and maybe that makes me a terrible person but I don't care anymore.  I'm tired of high school.  I'm tired of classes.  I'm tired of people.  I want summer to be here.  I want a nice vacation, possibly by myself.  I don't know what I want anymore... 

This afternoon Ben came up to me in the band room and I just turned around and hugged him and we stood like that until Christi came in and said "Let's go!"  I love those moments. I always feel so peaceful and comforted.  His birthday is in a week and I'm VERY excited about it. Game tomorrow night might be a good stress reliever, that or what I do after the game...