Ok so life lately has been very stressful.  The reason is very surprising.  The thing that is supposed to relieve my stress is just causing me more!  No, it's not boys...it's band!  I'm doing Winterguard this year and, don't get me wrong, I love it, but it's stressing me out.  I want to be a natural at it but I'm not.  I feel as if I'm retarded or something because I can't do a simple toss on rifle or flag.  I want to be on rifle so bad since I am a senior and everything but it's not looking promising at this point.  I know I've only been doing it for 3 days but I don't know what else to do.  Practicing last night was kind of helpful but I feel as if I don't have time to practice.  I'm already missing Thursday's practice because of MYO and then I'm missing try-outs on Saturday because of the UT game.  Why do I want to do this?  I'm questioning all my motives.  Ok so then I am stressing about not having time to practice flute as much as I should be.  Mrs. Hahn gave me 22 short things to sight read for Wednesday's lesson and I just looked at them today and now I'm freaking out!  Mid-State is also in about 2 weeks!  I'm so unprepared it's not even funny!  Then we have the issue of orchestra.  Mrs. Mullen wants me and Heather to play at this memorial thing the same day as the Christmas Parade, which counts as our band mid-term.  Also, Mrs. Petrone wants me to play What Child Is This with the choir this year.  Our band concert is also on December 1 and I'm not ready for that either.  Oh yea, then I found out that none of my friends are going on the New York trip this spring.  That irriatates me slightly.  They're the reason I signed up and they haven't even pain and don't plan on it.  Granted, Ben is going, but he and I obviously can't room together and as Christi said, what if something happens between now and April???  So do I pull out of that trip and lose $50 or what? UGH!  How is it that something so stress-relieving can be the main cause of all my emotional and physical breakdowns lately?  To anyone who can give me answers, you are my hero.  I guess I just really need to sit down and ponder everything for a few hours.