What I Deserve

February 26 2006
I deserve ____________.

It's easy to fill in that blank with things we think we deserve. When Kevin Pounds was talking about it this morning at church, he was mentioning mostly material things. And I could see where he's coming from on that. I know I tend to think I deserve a husband, two kids, a pet, a nice house in the suburbs, and a nice car. But I also tend to think I deserve certain emotions and such from other people. Like love. Respect. Those sorts of things. I feel that other people should fill me up with these feelings. Yet really, why should they? Do I deserve that? Heck no; I really don't.

Though we deserve nothing, Christ came to free us from the bondages of Satan and sin and to grant us mercy and grace... things we do not deserve! He, perfect, sinless, God in human flesh, did not deserve to suffer on earth and to die for sinners. But He did. He gave us His rights. We don't even have any rights. We don't have life apart from Him. So why do we have such a hard time giving it all up? Why do we hold on so dearly for something that is not even ours? Because we are control freaks. If only we would realize that we really are not in control, and if we were what a mess life would be!

Have you ever talked to someone trying to control their own life? It's a life of pain and hardship, without any joy or growth. I don't want to live like that. I know that as a Christian I am called to suffer at times, but always for a purpose that will magnify God's glory. I can find joy in any situation, as hard as that may be.

I have to be willing to go wherever He takes me. My comfort zone is similar to Kevin's. I would love just to stay here, or if I was really blessed in the money department move to Franklin, have my perfect little family in our happy little house in a nice neighborhood and my kids could go to a good school and I'd probably keep going to Belle Aire and drive a nice Toyota and life would just be... normal.

God may call me to that life, but He may not. Sometimes I feel as if maybe He does want me to have a taste of that life, but maybe it won't stay that way. I really don't know. All I know is that I have to be open. I need to be willing to go to Turkey, New Jersey, anywhere... And that's hard. It's scary. But Michael Kelly told AO a couple of weeks ago that we have to take those risks. God will sometimes tell us to go beyond what is safe and comfortable.

I felt God speak to me Wednesday night at At All Cost about listening to Him and depending on Him when it came to where He leads me in the future. So I want to stay true to that. God has given me talents, stories, testimonies, and a heart for certain places, and I just can't help but wonder how it's all going to play out in my life. I'm just going to have to trust God and go along for the ride.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have see his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. -John 1:14

Jacob

February 26 2006
I know like ten people who have it right now. It must be goin around Murfreesboro.

Jimmy Dillon

February 26 2006
Amen. Excellently put. You will make someone an incredible wife.