Choir is discouraging.  College applications are discouraging.  I'm always tired.  And I'm always sad in the fall -  it's like a weird mild seasonal depression.

But on the plus side, I'm pretty sure we're going to get Poland for Model UN.  It made the final six and it's not a highly requested country.  I guess I can die happy now.  Pierogis!!  I'm totally bringing them!!

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. 

Be yourself.  Especially do not feign affection. 

Neither be cynical about love- for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass...

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore be at peace with God...and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.” 

-Max Ehrmann

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit -- immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.

This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously -- no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.

And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat -- the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."

-C.S. Lewis

I feel more and more like I'm being pointed toward either

Ohio State University

or

The University of Georgia.

They both have competitive, prestitigious honors colleges, excellent English and linguistics programs, and extracurriculars one could drown in.

So...the biggest question is...

whether I would make a better Buckeye or Bulldog.

I’m a tool most people possess:

You need me to live comfortably.

My shape, it can vary from narrow to boxy

But always I’m strong and I’m sharp.

Some people are paid to get rid of me,

The youngest and oldest don’t need me,

You wouldn’t want just one of me:

I’m useless all by myself.

When it comes to my appearance,

Conformity is the key:

Much money is spent on how I look

And my function follows my form.

But don’t be deceived by my glamour,

Or think that I’m only for show:

You’d be nearly helpless without me,

And frustrated, ugly, and thin.

What am I?

I have become way too cynical.

But justifiably so.

Hugh Laurie is hottt x10.

His character on House is a jerk, but in a hottt way.

I think I'm in love.

I haven't done a "real" update on here in a couple of weeks, so I feel like I should say what life has been like since...July 23. 

I guess school has started.  It's not really what I expected senior year to be like.  It's fun, and I like my classes, but high school just feels way passé.  I think the problem is that after Governor's School, which was basically college, going back to high school seems so recessive.  I feel, mentally, like I've already moved on.  Which isn't to say that I won't enjoy and make the most of my senior year, but I am now completely sure that I'm ready for college.

On the topic of college, I think I've changed my mind about what I want to study.  Well, it's not so much a change of mind as an addendum.  I was going to just major in English, and then get a Master's in education so I could teach.  Now, though, I think I've slowly been discovering that my true passion is not so much English (although I still love it) but linguistics.  It's kind of a scary thing for me to admit, because when thinking about college plans I'm ultra-practical, and linguists aren't exactly in high demand these days.  But if I double major in that and English and still do the education thing, I can always teach if nothing else.  Who knows, maybe I'll be a break-neck language dissecter in remote parts of Bolivia or something.  But I can teach Shakespeare and Dickens to sulky 10th graders somewhere if that doesn't work out.

Emotionally, I'm pretty weird right now. 

I feel the need for change.

However, I'm not going to push for it.  I think I'll put off on redoing my life until after high school.  Right now I want to have fun as a senior in high school.  I think it will be easy.  I'm not "coasting," per se, but I'll just say that my workload this year is not going to be overwhelming.  And now, with my newfound confidence and forward-thinkingness inspired by GSH, I feel much more free to be myself and have a good time this year.

I love you guys, and for now, I'm pretty happy.

Christina

My new love:

Sufjan Stevens.

His music is so incredible.  It's addicting.  I don't even know how to describe the musical styles: I guess a rock/bluegrass type thing with lots of other cultural influences.  And his lyrics are really good, too - as far as "Christian" music goes, Sufjan is one of the few artists I can listen to wothout cringing, because his lyrics aren't cheesy, cliched, or shallow, which seem unfortunatly to be the standard fare in 88.7-type Christian music.  Sufjan's lyrics are often about God, but they also reflect - in a gorgeous, poetic way - the good things in life and also the more difficult realities of life.

"On the floor at the great divide
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied
I am crying in the bathroom

In the morning when you finally go
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low
And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade
On the first of March, on the holiday
I thought I saw you breathing

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see His face
In the morning in the window

All the glory when He took our place
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face
And He takes
and He takes
and He takes..."

So, having finished The Picture of Dorian Gray, I find myself surprised at the number of amazing quotes I found in the book, mostly spoken by the character Lord Henry, whom I found quite interesting.  I don't usually write much in books, but I underlined a lot of really good quotes in Dorian Gray.   Here are my favorites.

"Now, the value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.  Indeed, the probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured by his wants, his desires, or his prejudices."

"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense."

"And Beauty is a form of Genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation.  It is of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the reflection in dark waters of that silver shadow we call the moon.  It cannot be questioned.  It has its divine right of sovereignty.  It makes princes of those who have it.  You smile?  Ah!  when you have lost it you won't smile...People say sometimes that Beauty is only superficial.  That may be so.  But at least it is not so superficial as Thought is.  To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders.  It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.  The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible."

"I admit that I think it is better to be beautiful than to be good.  But on the other hand no one is more ready than I am to acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be ugly."

"The only artists I have ever known, who are personally delightful, are bad artists.  Good artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are.  A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures.  But inferior poets are absolutely facinating.  The worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look.  The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistable.  He lives in the poetry he cannot write.  The others write the poetry they dare not realize."

"Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to.  There are only two ways by which man can reach it.  One is by being cultured; the other is by being corrupt."

Lady Narborough hit him with her fan.  "Lord Henry, I am not at all surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked."
"But what world says that?" asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyeborws.  "It can only be that next world.  This world and I are on excellent terms."
"Everybody I know says you are very wicked," cried the onld lady, shaking her head.
Lord Henry looked serious for some moments.  "It is perfectly monstrous," he said, at last, "the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."

"Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed."

"Youth!  There is nothing like it.  It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth.  The only people to whose opinions I listen now are people much younger than myself.  They seem in front of me.  Life has revealed to them her latest wonder.  As for the aged, I always contradict the aged.  If you ask them their opinion on something that happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current in 1820, when people wore high socks, believed in everything, and knew absolutely nothing."

"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."

"It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style.  They affect us just as vulgarity affects us.  They give us an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that.  Sometimes, however, a tragedy that possesses artistic elements of beauty crosses our lives.  If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect.  Suddenly we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the play.  Or rather we are both.  We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder of the spectacle enthralls us."

And, of course, the entire preface to the book, which is practically a piece of literature unto itself.

I like aetheticism.  I don't agree with all of it, but I kind of like the idea.  "Art for art's sake" is a belief I've always sort of held.

I got my senior picture proofs from Michael's today.  They turned out better than I expected, especially considering it was about 250 degrees with 400 percent humidity when I had them taken.

But I don't know what to order. 

Senior freaking year, baby.

I hate the corporate world.  I hate buisness.  I hate, especially, cutthroat buissness people.  I hate calling people I don't know, to ask questions they don't want to answer.  I hate extension numbers.  I hate Japanese buisnesses in Alabama.  I hate condecending people.  I hate rude people.  I hate how I take EVERYTHING personally.  I hate Human Resources.  I hate Accounts Payable.  I hate 8-5.  I hate electrical engineers.  I hate having to lie for my job. 

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. 

I will never, never, never be in buisness.

I got a promotion at the recruiting office where I work.

I'm now a spy!

That's right. 

If we don't hear from a buisness that interviewed one of our candidates, we become suspicious that they hired them without telling us, thereby cheating us out of money.  My job is to innocently call these companies and ask for the candidate in question.  I have to hide the fact that I'm from a recruiting company; these corporations hate recruiters calling their employees.  If all is well, I will be told that I have a wrong number or that no one by the candidate's name works there.  That means the company was honest, and just didn't hire the candidate.  If, however, I get put through to the candidate, I still have to try to hide who I am (which is harder in this step, since candidates can be suspicious and even hostile), but I have to try to figure out how long they've been working there, and then I alert my boss, who contacts the company to tell them they're cheating us out of money.

It's pretty exciting.

But I still only make 6 dollars an hour.

Whatever.

Early day: AP English IV

1st period: AH Chemistry

2nd period: Speech

3rd period: H Economics/AP U.S. Government

4th period: Journalism (listed as teacher's aid)

5th period: Chamber Choir

(unscheduled) 6th period: Editor's period for journalism


It's pretty good.  I managed to keep my senior year fairly easy without looking like I'm completely slacking off. 

Which...I pretty much am.  Notice the lack of any math, and the fact that I'm only just now taking chemistry.

This year's going to be great.

Home from Hilton Head Island
Home from Journalism Camp
Home from St. Louis
Home from Governor's School

So it turns out, I've only been home for about two weeks this entire summer.  One of which was spent under the influence of strong narcotics.

I don't really care.  This summer away from home has been amazing.

And I'm ready for school to start back.

I saw Les Miserables at the Fabulous Fox Theater in St. Louis - it's the best musical in existence, no competition.

Eponine is still my dream role.

The day before we saw Les Mis my parents and I toured Washington University in St. Louis while my brother and sister went to Six Flags.  Wash U was pretty impressive, although it doesn't seem like their English program is as strong as a lot of other good schools.  The campus is beautiful and the students seem really interesting, though.  And both my parents are alumni, which is the main reason we visited.

I also had my first college interview, which was more than a little nervewracking.  It ended up going well, although when I get nervous I sometimes start talking too fast and I forget what I mean to say and instead babble on about nothing.  I kept this to a minimum, I think.  So that was good.

Tomorrow we head out to yearbook camp, with our pitifully diminished staff of six.  Or maybe five.  I don't even know anymore.  We can't seem to keep anybody.  In fact, we may end up taking one or two freshmen at the start of next year just to beef up the staff a bit.

I am in love with The Decemberists.

And also Once on This Island.


And also you.

<3

Christina

AP Scores:
     - English: 5
     - History: 3

Teeth:
     - Better, but... 
     - I still can't eat solid foods and it's been a week

Travel:
     - July 20-23: St. Louis to see Les Miserables and visit WashU
     - July 24-26: Yearbook Camp
     - July 28-August 4: Hilton Head Island

Summer reading:
     - Candide: Really good, I highly recommend it.
     - Picture of Dorian Gray: I haven't started but I'm looking forward to it.

Pleasure reading:
     - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
     - Memoirs of a Geisha
     - The poetry of Pablo Neruda

Yesterday:
     - Cleaned the doorframes in my house
     - Went to Hastings for almost 5 hours with Racahodo.

Today:
     - It would be amazing if someone went to see Pirates of the Carribbean with me. 
     - Any takers?

Tomorrow
     - Senior portraits
     - Going to work for the first time this summer

I guess I'm keeping busy.  Hope your summers all go well, since I won't really be home much anymore after Wednesday.

Love you!

Christina

Well, I put up about...oh, I don't know, 4 quintillian Governor's School pictures.  Most people don't won't care, but if you'd like a glimpse at the most bizarre and wonderful group of people ever...you might check them out.

Here are a few of my personal favorites:

My roommate Brittney and I, in our everyday attire.

Rules for visiting our room.

My super cool counselor Amber.

My lovely friend Kethleen and her disclaimer.

Me and my suitemates...the best suitemates ever...at our closing banquet, which was very sad. 

Bekka making a pretty face.

Tia, one of the nicest girls I've met, and Caroline, one of the most beautiful.

My room, in one of its messier moments.

And of course my dear Brittney again, doing her thing.

Heart heart heart,

Christina

Meet me on my vast veranda, my sweet, untouched Miranda
And while the seagulls are crying, we fall but our souls are flying

And oh, my love, my love, we both go down together.

Tomorrow I get my wisdom teeth out.  Blardy blar.

I think it's funny, we've only been out of Gov School 3 days, and the GSH 2006 email group has sent over 150 emails to each other.  We are definitly the verbose writers, wouldn't you say?? 

I wish I could kidnap all my gov school friends and keep them in my closet.  BUT, I can't, and now that I'm in the Boro, I want to talk to/see all of you, because I missed you.  Call me at home or on my cell.

loove,

Christina

Well, that's it.

Governor's School is over.

I'm going to curl up under my covers and cry for about 89 hours now.

It's the last week.....nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

We're making two GSH shirts tomorrow.  "We" being just a group of us.

The first looks like this (the back is different for everyone):

And the second looks like this:

Today, we have a cookout, a swim party, and a baseball game.

It's amazing.

I love you.

Christina

I'm weak.

I'm so weak.

I did it.

I got a Myspace

My GSH 2006 superlative:

"Most likely to hang a fetus on your door."