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Brian Asbury



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August 11, 2006

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Untitled

I'm back now guys & gals from a semi-enjoyable spring break... I would have rather spent it with someone else this year but you "can't have your cake and eat it too"... There is a ton that I want to say but just do not have the time to do that right now... I will write about it later today though... So everyone of you guys & gals have an amazing day...

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Today is the day that everything has completely gone wrong... I have realized that everyone can lie to you... Even your own parents... I have just had my eyes opened to this... I can't believe this... I am so stupid... Well like usual we (me & my mother) got into another fight... I am so damn tired of this... We just can't seem to get along at all anymore... So during the course of this fight I got thrown out of my house... Now I have nowhere to go no money and now I am going to have to give up my dream just to survive in society... I hate this I wish I could just run away from this but it's not possible... Just to all of those people who think that my family is well awesome your wrong... We are very disfunctional... To all those who think that I am "perfect" wake up please I am far from it... I am not saying that I am a horrible person but just a normal human being... So I guess when life gives you lemons then I guess you (me) are supposed to make lemonade... Yeah so that wasn't gay or anything... Guys I just can't seem to make things work anymore... I guess that I am the problem and so this is probably for the best... All I wanted was for this year to be special... You know different from the rest... I just want to leave all this behind forever... But I can't because there are a few people who mean so much to me that I can't do that... Is it to much to ask them to let me be me... But no they will not accept me for me... I just can't deal with this anymore... I just freaking hate this situation... That's it for now i will write more later...

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Okay so how is everyone doing today... Excellent I am hoping... Because well I am sure many of you guys have heard about what happened last night... During rehersal I was dropped and well I landed on my knee... Yeah that's right it popped and then was burning BAD last night... Now this morning I got up and it was still burning... So apparently some people thought that I was not going to be able to fill my roles in the show so I was replaced... On top of that I was already mad at myself for allowing this to happen... I mean I guess I can't help everything in life... I am just really down-n-out now... Because I feel like I am totally worthless to the show... This is my senior year my last show and now I can't even dance in it anymore... Yup I am really depressed about this but oh well I guess I have to trust that this is for the best and that everything will work out... I just wish that things could be different... I wish that this never happened... As they say though "life goes on" I just need to take those words and remember them... So back to last night right... Well I had a major breakdown at my house... Everything that I was holding in well just finally came out... I mean as much as I would let come out came out... Everyone keeps asking me about this certain person and well all I have to say to that is just drop and forget about it... Nobody else needs to be concerned with it so it's all cool... What's supposed to happen will happen... I am not going to force anything or whatever... If it is meant to be then it will be... So guys that's all for right now... I hope all you guys & gals have an amazing day...

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Just another wonderful day... Maybe for some of you guys but not for me... Me and my parents got in this huge fight and now we won't even acknowledge that the other one exsists... I know that's really horrible but if you only knew what we were fighting about then you might understand... It's just that we don't see things the same anymore and well they have their opinion and I have mine that doesn't seem to work in my house... My parents are just so close-minded that it's stupid... They cannot deal with things that are different from their own experiences... Well I hate to tell them but this is a new time and day things are going to be totally different from when they grew up... But anyways they are making me do all this crap before I can go to NY and it's too much to do in like a day and a half but you know what they always say: "parents know best". I don't know though I guess it's really a trust issue at this point but I am not sure... Alright well I am going to leave this issue now so I will talk to everyone later...
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How is everyone and everything going for everyone today... Excellent I am hoping... I am doing AMAZING... Ready to be able to run the show from start to where we have it done now... But yeah things with that are going awesome... I mean I need to work on my dialogue and stuff but that's gonna be okay... Just hope I can contain myself untill then... So I leave for NY in ummmm... Well 2 days... This trip is going to be... Ahhh well words cannot describe how it's going to be... Not to be a party pooper but I just wanna say to all those drama queens... Please leave it at home... Nothing can rain on my parade... Well something could but lets not think about that... I would rather not... Everyone have a wonderful day to all you guys & gals...

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