Why this attack from Satan? Why can I not please anyone? Why am I soo confused and frustrated? I hate this. I hate it with a passion.

I feel so torn down. The one person that I wait for to bring me back up, just sits there sometimes. But I realize now that I'm not supposed to rely soley on people. God is the only one whom I should rely upon for everything.

What do I do? God please guide me. Please pray for me you guys, I'm begging you. I absolutely have no clue what needs to be done. But something needs to be done soon. I dont know how much longer I can go on like this.

I cant keep doing the same things day after day. If it keeps going like this, it will surely fail, and I will be the one ending it. Like someone said to me, one can only take so much pain before it starts to not be worth the good that comes with it.

I have faith in it. I just wonder sometimes what life would be like if it were slightly different. I fear knowing this, I dont feel that would be right. I just wish God would speak a little bit more clearly. Only the future can tell what life will bring.

Im sure this made no sense to people, and Im sure it made perfect sense to some, but to all I leave this... I love you truely and always.