Here We Go Again!

April 01, 2006

It's amazing how one fifteen minute phone call can erase all the "progress" that was made in the last two months. I thought this song (as it so ironically came up on random IPOD shuffle on the way home) was fitting to the occasion.

I guess I lost my sense of direction again
'Cause all I see are footprints
that look strangely like my own
I'm digging deeper the more I run
And the longer I'm out here
The more I'm alone
And now I stand in the place where I began
And all I see behind me is a circle in the sand
I'm dying slowly, take my hand
And lead me out of this circle                                                                  Solomon's Wish- "Circle in the Sand" 

My thoughts in song

February 15, 2006

I'm not exactly sure why, but there seem to be so many songs that I am hearing lately that fit perfectly with my current life situation - the lyrics often express so poetically the things that I can't seem to find words to express.

It seems that each time I turn on the radio or go to the next randomly shuffled song on my ipod, the song seems to be an arrow directed straight at my heart. But, driving home tonight, I heard a new Rascal Flatts song that hit much deeper than any I've heard lately - just thought I'd share the lyrics.

"What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do" 

WOW! That seems to say it so perfectly!

Random Quotes

February 13, 2006

"Do not follow where the path may lead.

Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

        ~Harold R. McAlindon

"Govern thy life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one, and read the other."    ~Thomas Fuller

"To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it."     ~Samuel Butler

"Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances."     ~Benjamin Franklin

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."        ~ Robert Frost

Loving Well

September 25, 2005Wow- the Beth Moore conference was incredible! Every time I hear her speak or read one of her books, I am convinced that God has told her everything that is going on in my life. There were many things that she said that God used to speak directly to issues in my life. Probably the biggest revelation of the weekend was her quoting another author.
Since I did not write it down verbatim, and I am too lazy to go look at my notes and see who the author is - here is my paraphrase of the quote:
~Sometimes God allows us to see divine sparks in human love in order to give us a glimpse of His raging fire of love for us.

Well, I thought that was pretty neat, but it didn\'t really strike me until the next day when she repeated the quote, then continud with:
\"sometimes we mistake the spark of human love for the fire of God\'s love.\" BAM!
That statement drove right to the heart of a lifelong struggle of unhealthy relationships. For months, I have been asking God to show me where I went wrong the last time and how I got so sidetracked - there was my answer! I spent most of the afternoon with this thought in mind and began praying for God to bring clarity. Last night as I lay in bed, praying about it once again, I heard the gentle whisper of God tell me -\"it was never about him.\"
I was surprised at how quickly I felt both relief and regret - relief that I finally had the missing piece to the puzzle that I have been trying to complete for well over a year (hallelujah!) and regret that I had been so mistaken. All the things that I love about him were just the divine sparks that God allowed in an attempt to give me a glimpse of His love for me, but, instead of recognizing that and giving praise and glory to my Father, I poured all the love and gratitude into an earthly man. It was never supposed to be about him, it was supposed to be about Jesus. Father, forgive me.

I don\'t know why I felt the need to ramble on like that and I\'m not sure any of it made sense to anyone else. There are many other things that I heard God say to me this weekend, but I really felt the need to share this one.

I love you!

Let the Journey Begin

September 17, 2005Lay Me Down - Ryan Horne

the pieces of my puzzle
all scattered and so torn
from the time spent laying beaten
to the edges which are worn
placed into there very moment
God\'s timing they are laid
with every breath of air
a piece is laid to sleep
with every footstep taken
my soul is His to keep
and so I bow my head to pray
put to rest my every day and sing

CHORUS
lay me down my Father
lay me down here to sleep
lay me down forever
cause forever I\'m Yours, Yours to keep

I watch my puzzle forming
with rest behind my eyes
and I see the God of wonders
working in my life
and as my future comes and goes
God the only one who knows
what comes
so I lie here in His comfort
and watch the pieces being placed
by the care of my maker
His Amazing Grace
and by His tender touch He holds
the pieces which He knows
will come next

BRIDGE
so I am alive
I am well
I am here
for you

I have had this song running through my head for a few days, so i thought i would share it with the Phusebox world. These lyrics are such a comforting thought in my current life situation. God has taught me so much over the past few weeks about trusting His timing and His plan. And now as I undergo many many medical tests to attempt to identify the cause of my consistent illness, I have such a peace about the whole situation. There are a number of things that the doctors may find, but I know my Sovereign Creator has knit me together exactly as He planned, and He will walk with me every step of the way on this journey. However, prayers would be appreciated. =)
I love you all!