I feel like killing myself tonight!! Im in a really deep depression. Something just happened and it shattered my heart or whats left of it. Its like the song by Nich Lachey "Whats left of me". And this song as well:

You brought that bottle home in a paper sack


you Drew the blinds and locked the doors


And there's nothing but empty there inside that glass


So you pour a little more


And there's no one there to judge you


At least that's what you tell yourself, but



Chorus:


Don't you know


Nobody drinks alone


Every demon, every ghost


From your past


And every memory you've held back


Follows you home


Nobody drinks alone



You remember whiskey on your daddy's breath


So you always stick to wine


And you scared your little brother half to death


You just kept it all inside


You can hear your mama cryin'


Only now she cries for you, and



Don't you know


Nobody drinks alone


Every demon, every ghost


From your past


And every memory you've held back


Follows you home


Nobody drinks alone



Though you're lonely


Hey don't you let that feelin' fool ya



(

Chorus:


Don't you know


Nobody drinks alone


Every demon, every ghost


From your past


And every memory you've held back


Follows you home


Nobody drinks alone



Nobody drinks alone

Basically I just feel like shit. Like my whole life ,or whatever there is of it,is now gone. Maybe im exagerating but thats how i feel I feel like basically someone pulled my heart out such as at YL camp they talked about. And as soon as I let them hold it in there hands and let my guard down and let them in they throw it back at me. I know to the person that did this it isnt doing justice. Shes a sweet girl amazing. Beautiful I felt like God really sent me the best he had ever made. She was everything I ever wanted. As one line of Vertical Horizons songs say "Shes everything you ever wanted".  And to be honest like always I see the signs. I knew the magic was lost. I knew we were falling apart. I just didnt want to believe it. I mean like everyone. I just didnt want to believe that this amazing girl wasnt supposed to last. I feel like what the fuck God why even allow her to date me or to wanna date me if this is all that will happen. I mean why? And I know he has a plan but I mean why do this why let her break my heart into pieces as Lynkan(sp) Park says in a line. I just dont know she was amazing she has definetly though been the best I ever had which is a song as well. I just dont know!!!