When I hit my AOL Explorer icon a few minutes ago, I saw an ad for the trailer for a movie about the plane that crashed in PA on 9/11. There was an article along with it that questioned whether or not the trailer should be pulled because it struck way too many nerves of Americans. Having not really been terribly affected ((or so I thought)) from 9/11, and since I didn't lose anybody I knew, I figured that the people that would really get sensitive about it were those that were directly affected.

I was wrong.

Okay, so it's Ado.

Shakesphere really isn't my thing.

. . . and I know way to many married couples where the wife was nineteen when she met her husband. This has left me in a slightly paniced state.

Not really-- but it does make me wonder.

I'm also somewhat weirded out by the fact that two different people who wanted to date me in the past are planning on getting married to their current girlfriends.

Odd weekend. I think my grandmother is shacking up with us for awhile. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x’s)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

-Aaron Shust

GOOD SONG.

Seriously.

I'd written a post earlier, but my internet connection died right as I pressed "publish entry", so it never came out. It stinks, because I really can't write as passionately about it as I did earlier, but I'll give it a try. . .

I've been thinking alot about what I want to do when I graduate, and it kind of bothers me. I have so many friends going into teaching and nursing, careers that are labled "normal" among many. What I want to do isn't really considered normal, especially around here, and it's starting to scare me. I know that all it takes is trusting God, but I get random thoughts that get me down and make me think I should just get a "normal job". . . but I won't. Not unless that's what God has in store for me, and I have a feeling that what He has shown me is what He wants me to be a part of. Gah, it seems impossible, but even as I typed that, the verse that talks about everything being possible with God comes to mind.

'Cause I know my God saved the day

And I know His word never fails

And I know my God made a way for me

It's gonna be alright. . .

A truck pulls up, and I guide him inside the bay. After grabbing a pen and clipboard from the counter, I walk to the man to get his information:

Man: Who do I talk do? Do I talk to you?

((my inner self thinking)) No you dummy, I'm just standing here with pad and paper for no reason

Me: Yeah

Man: Okay, I want just the oil changed. Just the oil and nothing else, okay?

((inner self)) I heard you the first time.

Me: Okay.

So we get his oil and filter change-- he drove a truck that takes seven quarts of oil, and I went inside to ring him up.

Me: Sir you're ready. It'll be $36.18.

Man: Just for the oil?

Me: Yes. . . it took seven quarts.

((inner self)) You've had this truck long enough to know that there will be an upcharge on anything more than five quarts. Besides that, you stared at the prices for five minutes where it blatantly states that those prices cover up to five quarts of oil.

Man: Do I get a receit?

((inner self)) What kind of place does he think we are? Duh!

Me: Yes.

I print out the receit, and hand it to him. He looks at it.

Man: Did you change the filter?

((inner self)): Whaaa?

Me: Yes. . .

Man: Did it need it?

((inner self)) *practically falls to the ground* Are you KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

Me: ((very slowly)) Uh-- you're supposed to change the oil filter each time you change the oil. . .

Man: Oh.

He walks outside in the bays to his truck. I follow and raise the door. Before shutting his door, he waves at me to get my attention.

Man: Is he (referring to Jeff down in pitt)) done?

((inner self)) What?!

Me: What?

Man: Is he done?

((inner self)) No, dude, I just took your money, gave you a receit and am standing in the freezing doorway just for the heck of it

Me: Oh yeah.

yeah. . . . whatever.

I found out today that MTSU lost my Spanish placement scores, so now I have to take the test over again. I don't suppose it'll be so bad; I'm going to review with a teacher I had a few years ago, so hopefully that'll be a big help.

I think there should be a Phusebox get together. That way, when people go to Taco Bell and see people they're subscribed to ((yet haven't actually met)), they wouldn't feel so weird about saying hi. Not that this has happened to me or anything. . . lol.

Gen. Eds. bite. I wish I could take just Spanish and Electronic Media classes. One of these days. . .

I was told this today.

So. . . God pretty much rocked my face off today.

I've started getting pretty stressed with assignments and tests going on next week ((especially with an English paper due and History test on Monday)), and having to work tomorrow wasn't helping at ALL. Last night, I plopped on my bed and started talking to God really honestly, asking Him to give me the strength to get through it all.

And you know what?

Right before History ended, Prof. Tonks told us that the test was getting moved back to Wednesday!!! Praise Jesus!

and here's the sprinkles on my already iced cake. . .

Taevan told a Jody ((guy from work)) that he was going home early today, and Jody make the comment "man, you're being nice today". I chimed in, "hey wanna be nice to me too?" thinking I may get off an hour early tonight. . . and you know what Taevan told me?

"Yeah, you're getting tomorrow off."

HALLELUJAH!!! Thank you Jesus!

What's the hardest you've ever cried?

I don't know why, but I started thinking about the hardest I've ever cried, and I came up two different times. . .

February 15, 2004- Everybody was gathered around my uncle's grave site. As he was lowered into the ground, I turned and walked away, unable to watch. Once I got far enough away from the crowd, I started to cry. At this point, I turned to see Karen walking toward me with her arms opened, and she held me while I sobbed uncontrollably. I wasn't sure I would ever stop,

August 20, 2004- It had been a little over two hours since I learned of Bruce's death, and I had yet to show any emotion. My friends and I were in Belle Aire's parking lot, and Brian walked over and gave me a hug. "I love you, Anna Miller," he choked out before I hardly got out "I love you too, Brian King" as I broke down into sobs.

I don't mean for this to be a sad entry, I was just thinking about this.

So, if you don't mind sharing, what's the hardest you've ever cried?

Oh, and how it stinks to see it go.

I'm avoiding a History paper that's due Wednesday. What annoys me is that Prof. Tonks is basing the length off of the number of pages, so instead of having a relatively good paper at around four pages, I have to pull a bunch of stuff from my behind and stretch it out to at least six pages. What is equally as annoying is the fact that InfoTrac is telling me there is a great "article" I need, and it's only pulling up the abstract without any other links to the full length. Urg.

I think I'm going to write my English paper about how general education requirements need to be cut back or something because the only thing high school "requirements" did was get us accepted into the university. I'm extremely frustrated with the fact that before I can go into my career field, I have to write 128933478 page History papers and do costume projects for Theatre Appreiciation.

Sorry this is such a rant-filled post.

On a slightly happier note, my cousin Rob and his wife Felecity are expecting their second child in less than two weeks. They are adopting a baby girl from Guatamala, and her name is Maggie. Their third child, Macy, will be delievered via C-Section at Vanderbilt in mid-April.

I think people are afraid to release themselves while singing to Jesus. I think this, because I know this to be true. I know this to be true because I used ((and am still working on not staying)) someone like this. Being raised in a church of Christ conditioned me to maintain a certain behavior while singing in church. Before I go any further, let me make sure this my readers understand that I am in no way putting the churches of Christ down. I'm a member of North Boulevard, and I love it. What I'm saying is that when many members of the CoC sing, there's no movement, there's no lifting of the hands, there's no passion. . . at least, that's what it feels like a lot of the time. I remember the first several times I went to Belle Aire the sight of people lifting their hands weirded me out. I didn't really understand why people did it. After several more visits to Belle Aire and going to a Passion concert, I realized that I couldn't help lifting my hands when I sang to Him. It just came naturally. I was flooded with worship, with His love, with His glory, and my arms would go up. That doesn't happen when I'm at church. This isn't to say that I have never worshipped like that in a CoC setting before-- there have been several times at True North and RFC that I have, but it's not as common. Why isn't it as common? It's not like it's some big sin to lift your arms to Christ-- heck, it's all over the Psalms. I don't know. I'm listening to a Passion cd and it got me thinking about all of this. We're made to worship Christ, that's why when we're so lost in Him that we lift our hands and sing with such fire and passion. We just can't help it. . .

Not really wanting to write two entries in a row, but I'm trying to wind down from today.

Aimee came down and we went shopping at Old Navy and Target--- now I can't buy anything for a month, lol. Jason met up with us for a few minutes at Old Navy and Lifeway, and he showed me his video camera. I've got so many ideas bouncing in my head for a shot film, but I don't know how to get it all together. It's one of those things where it can't be forced, but discipline to get everything together is necessary. Then Aimee and I saw Date Movie which--- in short, I was pretty disgusted with it. But anyway, then we went to Ruby Tuesday's and split an appetizer and strawberry tallcake. . . mmm.

SPRING BREAK! I can sleep late even on the days I have to work! Praise Jesus!

. . . and evidentally it takes a day for the effects of ten minutes worth of the tanning bed to kick in. My face hurts, lol.

Goodnight!

I'm not the biggest Switchfoot fan, but that song is probably favorite on WAY-FM right now.

Things are nice right now. I'm finally on spring break-- this means that next week, I have three days of NOTHING. What stinks though, is that I have to write a six page paper for History, do a Theatre Appreciation project, and get some solid information on a subject for an English paper. I started going to the tanning bed today, so hopefully my irritation will dry out and my skin will be a little darker by the time school rolls back around and I can wear my cute skirt from Old Navy without frightening all of MTSU, lol.  I went to my first. . . party. . . in which the host/majority of the people there were at least 30 and older last night, lol. It was fun. It was actually a surprise birthday party for a lady I work with.

Um-- that's about all I have. I'm too tired to write about anything that I have a lot to say about right now, so I'll just leave you with what I wrote above, lol. 'Night.

Some idiot vandalized Siegel by spray painting all over the school.

I know I don't go there anymore, but that's really upsetting.

A friend of mine told me they got the courtyard, the colums, the stadium, and a couple of signs.

I hope his/her butt gets busted.

I was going to write a big entry about how today is the fifth anniversary of my cousin Daniel's death, but I decided to just make it simple and to the point. Although I became a Christian at the age of ten, I whole heartedly believe that the true battle over my heart began this day, in 2001 at the age of fourteen. For the three and a half years before my cousins death, I believe God was preparing me in ways I couldn't even tell you about because He's just that good. The weekend before Daniel died, I was at my very first Winterfest, and I can speficially remember telling my dad a couple of days after I returned that I felt as though God was really there in my life. The past five years have been filled with a lot of suffering, and ((Lord willing)), the upcoming years will have just as much, but I know they will be equally balanced with joy and growth, as the past five have been.

I have been rather unfaithful to Phusebox. . . after discovering some cool songs and backgrounds, I've been playing around with myspace quite a bit, and I really like the layout I have now. Go check it out @ www.myspace.com/lifes_pinkflamingo. Don't worry, this will be where about 75% of my blogging will be and ((when I get another camera)) where almost all of my pictures will be.

Today was misrerable at work. Snow kept sliding off the cars and hitting us on the back, it melted and landed on our heads, and the floors were soaked, causing my jeans, socks, and shoes to get wet.

My stupid car has a trans leak, and I have to get it fixed this week. Crappy Southeast Signiture.

I had two tests and got a paper back last week. On my Electronic Media test, I got a 92 and on my History test, I got a 75-- not good, I know, but it's not bad considering I didn't study for half of it due to other assignments I was working on. I got a A-/B+ on my English paper, and I have another draft due Monday. I've also gotta have 1776 read and have a critical review written on it by Friday. Oh joy. What a weekend.

I haven't had an actual weekend in so long due to school. I want to go out to eat and then do something fun-- skating, bowling-- somewhere where everyone can just hang out and talk.

Well, everone else is talking about their day, so I guess I will too.

School was basically the same, except I had a test in Electronic Media, which, I am pleased to say, went rather smoothly. Let's just hope my grade is just as smooth. I came home and started straightening and organizing my room. While I did this, I saw that I had two missed calls and a voicemail, all from Brian, wanting to know if I wanted to go to Starbucks. We met up, and I got a venti mocha frappucino with two straws and we sat on the big chairs and had a good conversation. . .

Mostly, we talked about life two years ago. We talked about the strong connection we, along with our other friends constantly felt with God and the ease in which we were able to talk to each other about it. We talked about the past year where it seemed like many people, especially he and I had been hit hard from Satan and struggled to get our closeness with Christ back. Things are constantly changing, and while I know we can't go back to how things were two years ago, we can try to strengthen what we do have, ESPECIALLY our relationship with Christ.

After Starbucks, he drove me to Fazoli's to see some of his friends from the Tuesday Night crew. . . apparently they were celebrating one year of eating there every week. Lol, it was fun.

Now I'm here, needing desperately to study for History, but I think I'm going to skip Theatre Appreciation to do that. I also need to outline a chapter in my English book, 'cause we're having a quiz over it tomorrow, agh!