I wish life weren't so depressing, and I guess that's an ironic statement seeing as how the blame's supposed to remain on me.  I do, after all, have a tongue about as invalid as a stroke patient trying to swim.  Take, for instance, a jab to someone's relationships during a simple social game; or, better yet, how would you feel if the memories released in reunion were simply that of bad experiences?  Alas, I am a dumb one.  Now, the difference between now and then is that then festered sadness toward self and now harbors anger at everyone, especially self, but sometimes moreso other individuals.  The future is not much better than bleak either.  What shall I write to Lee?  "Sorry, I went nuts for a year but now I'm better"?!  But even that's up for question.  Easy is a boat on a lake to find when fog has not rolled in and sat for 3 years!  Even the wind and the waves hate me!  People say I should hold a positive attitude, servile, genuflecting at even the most barbaric of tragedies, but I can't.  Then again, I'm not very sure what I can and can not do.  So whatever you take, take and hold; for your time is coming; and my time will eventually come, although it's testing my longsuffering!  What a season I have before me--such clutter to clear away.