I am telling you this because the government has slackened on their primary responsibility--the well-being of the people of this land--but many will deny my factual competence as I proceed with my argument.  According to my research, in the year 2100, feces will cover the earth, exacting a terrible biohazard on the face of our beloved planet.  Matter does not just disappear: all that fecal matter has slowly been building up underneath the surface of the earth until sufficient pressure will expel fecal matter of the most disgusting kind into the air with the chaos of a hurricane, and it is all our fault.  We should've killed off the lowlifes to save the good, hardworking American people from such dire tragedy.  Our only decision now can be to hold it all in.  Yes, my comrades, you must boycott the bowel movement to lessen the impact of the fecal torrent.  Protest against the lobbyists who find the comfort of riches from their evil deeds, such as the toilet paper and restroom industries.  They are also to blame and shall have their day of reckoning when we, the common man, stressed by the woes of everyday life and the inability to properly purge waste matter from our anatomy, take them down.  Also, you must kill all celebrities, for in addition to spewing garbage out of their rectums, they also have an uncanny ability to defecate out their oral cavity, adding to the chaos tenfold.  Yes, comrades, in doing these things, you can help stall the apocalypse, and make the world a far better place for you and me.