I'm about to celebrate my birthday with family, and all I think about is how much life sucks.  Someone said that happiness is not the purpose of life but rather the result of a life lived with purpose.  And yet, what can I gain by doing nothing to achieve nothing?  My life, so far as I can tell, has only the purpose of a shell covering insurmountable depression.  Why can't God at least take that away?  I wish He'd just kill me and get this stupid thing over with.  I'm restless and tired of beating around this shitty bush called my life--the venture into boredom and celibacy via relationship ineptitude.  I feel so lumpen for the posterchild of religious influence...