So much shit has been started and I can't take it. It's caused the person I care about the most to hate me. When none of this stuff is true. It just sucks. I want to move out so bad. My parents are still treating me as if I'm 17... REALITY CHECK! I'm 18! I'm getting sick of it. I can't seem to find the right person to get an apartment with. I'm under to much fuckin' stress. Kyle and I are having a hard ass time cuz of some bullshit. I've argued with him for like a fuckin' week straight and it seems like de ja vu again. I can't take it. I'm working almost 40 hours a week and that just about kills me.  I can't trust any of my friends now. Seems like the only ones I can trust are Jamie, Justin, and Laura Savanna. The ones I thought were my friends are back stabbing bitches. One of my good friends was supposed to leave for the Navy today and I haven't even talked to him. I gotta get out damn it. If anyone knows of any places please let me know ASAP. Ok. I feel a little better now...

Its actually kind of nice to be home. I wish I could have stayed a little bit longer. I was in the process of looking for another horse and I didn't get to hang out with Justin that much. He's leaving July 11th to go to Illinois for basic training for the Navy. I don't want him to go. I've known him forever. Ah. Well other than that I've had strep throat before i left to go to VA. I rode my horse. I had someone start shit about me while I was gone. My idiotic boyfriend believed them. I now know who it was, but they don't know that i know. Kyle's birthday is Friday. I got him a wallet, but i already gave it to him so i'm going to find him something else... Going out with everyone Friday night. Saturday I'll be with him at Davy's (his boss). Thankfully LS is going to be there. OK. well i just got off work and im tired as hell. been there since 7 this morning so i'm going to take a nap before kyle gets off.

Tomorrow is My birthday! Woo Hoo! I'll be 18! Anyways. I'm going to Virginia in the morning and I have to drive until like exit 347. boo i dont wanna drive. Oh well. I hope everyone has a happy father's day and be safe you guys!

I went to the river yesterday with Kyle, Matt, Cole, and LS. Omg. It was so much fun. I've never been on a jetski before and it was awesome as hell. Kyle tried to get me to wakeboard, but there is no way in hell I was getting in that muddy river...My legs are sore from clinging to the side of the jetski. Anyways.... I have a week and 6 days until I turn 18. Thank God. I don't know what I'm going to do.

So i went over to Jackie and Robert's today after I cleaned my car... When Kayla and I get there its only Kyle, Worm, Matt, and Max( the dog). Jackie and Robert show up which is cool... So.... Jackie, Kayla, and I are back in Kyle's room we were playing with a football i found in his closet and was tossing it in the empty fish tank and rearranged his room. Then Sean, Katie, Napper, and Cole show up.. Yet again is cool. Then we look out the door and we see some bitches that we don't know (well we do know) and we're like "What the fuck"?! So pretty sure after that the night just sucked ass. There were so many damn people over there it was ridiculous. I was getting annoyed as hell and Kyle was getting mad at me because I was being anti-social and stayed in his room. For 1 I don't like being around a bunch of people that I don't know in a damn 2 bedroom apartment. I can't put up with that. The one's that I'm around most of the time are cool as hell, but the others I just didn't like I've heard to much shit about them. ok... I think I got everything out for now.. It feels better that I got all of that out.

I have 24 days until my birthday and when I can leave... I'm so excited! I'm supposed to go look at apartments with Jamie sometime today. We might get one when I come back. I've been hanging out with her and Kyle alot this week. It's just been an eventful week. I'm going to be leaving Marshalls in mid July and hopefully that all works out. If not my step-dad said I could go down there and I'm sure as hell not. I can't stand anyone down there. It's pretty nice outside today so I might go lay out or go to the Greenway. oh well.

Graduation is right around the corner. I'm so excited and nervous...My grandparents are coming down on Friday..Then Saturday after Graduation I think we are having a little cook out thing and I really don't want to be here for it. I'll be bored out of my mind. Kyle and I were kind of rocky, but now everything is ok. He'll be moving in with Matt when Robert moves out and I really don't want him to move in there. I went with my step-dad to eat lunch with my mom yesterday at Draughons. I talked to her about some things. She made a really good point about something.

The way I see it I DON'T have a best friend anymore...   Fuck you. It's been hard for me not to really tell you what I think about you. By they way, you might want to tell him if he fucks with DJ he will get his ass beat....

ok. so i just found out that my uncle won't be coming to my graduation. That really upsets me. I just got off the phone with him and I'm pobably going to go in after i turn 18 and go stay with them for a while. They want to take me to some club that one of my aunt's friends 17 yr old son plays at. That'll be interesting. i'm getting kind of nervous... In 11 days i'm graduating. ah. well I'm off to study...

ok. so pretty sure I have been lied to by my so called best friend.... (Don't say you didn't lie to me because I know you did and i'm not that fuckin' stupid.) It doesn't bother me that you are its just the fact you lied to me... Some best friend you are huh...

ok. on to a better note...

Jamie and I put our 2 weeks in at Marshalls... John didn't like that to much. We had so much fun last night... I love that girl to death.

I went to work yesterday with no voice.. could barely talk. and wasn't in the best mood. It hurts to cough. Mom thinks its allergies or something...

Prom is just around the corner. I'm excited. Not to long after that we have like 2 weeks and no more school. I'm excited yet nervous at the same time.

Its so amazing how people change.

this weekend..... fun....

Grandfather is in hospital.... had a heart attack.... very bad shape.... moved to charleston..... might have to leave if condition gets worse.....

Last night sucked. 2 people called out of work and there was only 4 people, 5 if you count the manager. Jamie ended up leaving my keys in her car, which her boyfriend had her car. He didn't show up at 8:30 for her break and we were both getting pissed. He didn't end up getting there until like 10. I was having some issues with Kyle. still are. I talked with one of my guys friends last night and he made my night better. So pretty sure Kyle and I are over. At least I think so. Prom and Graduation are getting closer. I'm so excited, but yet nervous too. I'm going to go enjoy my day off.

It is just absolutely GORGEOUS outside. It kind of makes me think I’m out of school. I wish. I want to get my cd player installed and I’m getting aggravated because I want it to be done sometime today and I don’t know who could possibly do it. I could get Kyle to do it, but he’s just a little too lazy. Lol.  Hopefully I get my cell phone back today. Last night was just amazing.  Even though I had to work it still was a pretty damn good night. Spring Break has like flown by. I haven’t really done much besides work a little here and there and go tan. I haven’t exactly been too social. I’ve talked on the phone, but haven’t done anything or gone anywhere with anyone. I’m kind of enjoying it. Shockingly it hasn’t bothered me that much about not having my phone until today. I haven’t had to worry about texts or people calling. It’s been quite and I’m liking it. Lol. I probably going to go to Sonic or something in a few minutes. So I hope everyone has a   WONDERFUL day

Today has been a GREAT day. I went to go get a new cd player for my car and then I went to Hot Spot. I'm just excited. It's such a BEAUTIFUL day outside. I just don't feel like going to work. My boyfriend is being an asshole and won't answer his phone. Oh well. I haven't really got to spend much time with him except for on Friday when I went bowling. I try to make plans to do things with him, but he's never up for going anywhere. So yea. I finally have all of my invitations done and I got to mail those out sometime this week. I'm excited. I'm going to start going to the tanning bed tomorrow morning. I'm just all full of energy. It'll all be gone by the time I get to work. ok well. I guess I'm going to go get ready...

Much Love

I stayed home today and cleaned my room.. Unfortunately I didn't find my graduation list I had already made... I started on a new one the other day and I've already started doing my invitations. I got my prom dress yesterday and I'm absolutely in love with it. My cousins are staying the night tonight and I'm trying every way possible to get out of the house tonight. I'll probably go hang out with Kyle whenever he gets off work. I decided not to go to my grandparents because it's going to be cold and possibly snowing...My girl Brittany is leaving next Friday for another job and that just sucks completely. She is just awesome. I'm gonna miss her. Everyone will probably go out next Friday night and party or something. All of a sudden everyone is deciding to get tattoos when they turn 18 and I'm kind of getting to where I don't want one period. I'll get my tongue pierced, but that's probably about it. If I do decide to get one it's going to very different and unique.

I feel like I'm under so much pressure about Graduation. My mom is saying that I shouldn't send my Dad's parents an invitation saying where graduation is actually at and just send them one that says I'm graduating. To be honest I really don't want his mom down here because she will try to start shit. BUT... If they did go they possibly wouldn't let their presence be known until afterwards and when my mom or whoeever wasn't around me.This sucks.... Geeze. I just kind of wonder what it's going to be like when I turn 18. Makes me wonder what they are going to say or do, if they even do anything.

Then there's all this shit with my mom and her older brother and his crack-addicted wife (seriously). He bought her some weed knowing that she just got out of rehab that she wasn't even in for a damn month. People are so stupid. I can't stand either one of them. Sometimes I think my mom get in their life just a little too much, but I can understand why considering they have a 13 and 4 year old. They were better off without her.

I realized that Freshman year was actually good. All of the friends you had were the same they were the year before. As we progressed through the years, everyone changes and you become distant. Maybe for the best or the worst. One day your just sitting there wondering what happened with that friendship. Was is something you did? Was it something you said? Then you'll hope that one day things will become better and you'll get that friendship back.

Ah.. enough of that... I gotta go somewhere.....

*Love ALways*

Ok... so.. Today started off pretty good I suppose... I went to that football thing and actually had fun... Didn't really pay attention to the game though.I found my prom dress and I'm SO excited over that. That's probably like the best thing that has happened to me all day. I feel like I'm being lied to, which is not cool... These two people act so different around me and it really makes me wonder if anything is going on between them. Even though I have a boyfriend it still aggravates the hell out of me. Oh well. I can't find my graduation list that I made like a LONG time ago and I kind trashed my room trying to look for it. Not that much longer and I'm out of here

Don't you just hate it when someone wakes you up and they put you in the most pissed off mood....

Pretty sure I'm not going to Virginia on Spring Break unless something changes my moms mind (which I doubt). That means I'm stuck here and I really don't want to be here. Kyle doesn't want me to go because he wants to hang out, but he works during the day and i work at night so that cause a problem right there. Argued with him last night because I was going to go to the movies with some friends, but he didn't like that 2 guys were going... which is bullshit. I really didn't want to go to the movies anyways, but that doesn't matter.

On a better note.... 2 months until Graduation!!! I'm so excited. As of today I have 91 days until I'm 18. Kyle turns 21 twelve days after me... I'm going to look for my prom dress on Friday. I know what I want, but I just have to find it. There's just way to much things to do. oh well..

I'm getting tired of all the bullshit that's going on... People don't know how to keep their mouth shut. I snapped on this guy in one of my classes because he was saying something (everyone could here him and I'm pretty sure no one wanted to here that comment) that no one seriously wanted to hear.... Well, I'm off to finish cleaning my room.

Thought I would try this out... Things are surprisingly going smoothly so far... Spring Break is coming up. How exciting. oh well. Got some things to do