so omg.

sunday is my new favorite night to go to the club. i've never been hit on by so many people in one night. ;)

i met some REALLY amazing people. saw some great friends. made some amazing new friends. got a few numbers.

fun stuff.

and i went to cafe coco afterwards - definitly didn't get home till 5:30 this morning. hahahaha.

spring break 07!!

finally. i'm on spring break.

and what better way to start it than ... GOING TO THE SYMPHONY?!

that's right folks. my mom's boss gave her two tickets, and she let me have them. so... Ms Kelsey Shearron and i are going to see Peter Serkin and the Navshille Symphony Orchestra perform Brahm's Piano Concerto No.2.

=D

aren't you jealous?

i don't understand why being gay has to be all about sex. like... why does it have to be such a prominant part of relationships?

i don't get it.

i'd like to meet a guy that doesn't have to have sex to have a boyfreind. if that makes sense.

is that too much to ask?

... with or without friends.

... with or without a signifigant other.

... with or without restrictions, promises, attachements, or obligations.

... with no regret.

and in no particular order.

- st. petersburg - moscow - paris - rome - prague - new york city - london - ireland - bangkok - oahu - new zealand - sydney - las vegas - la - baltimore - boston - international waters - milan - athens - sicily - glasgow - strasbourg - germany -

well. yesterday was interesting.

went to lunch with Kaitlin and we swang in the freezing cold.

saw Dennis. =] we went to Cool Springs and he got me a cute shirt i really wanted... but didn't tell me he was going to. hehe. so happy.

and last night was the Winter White Party at Play. [see pictures] it was AWESOME. not too much different from a normal night at the club, just a little busier and lots of people wore white.
Dennis' bar was slammed... i think there were about 10 cumulative mintues when he wasn't making drinks.
i decided to go all-out with my outfit. dug out those white pants, frosted my hair, and even colored my eyelashed white. i looked very frosty. i kinda like the all-white thing. it's cute.
i hung out with Dani Rae and Mark most of the night. AMAZING kids. =] we had LOTS of fun.
of course saw my good friend Kyle at his bar... he makes the best cherry cokes. i tried not to hang around Dennis' bar too much cause he was way busy. but i got my kisses in. ;) haha. and i did a real good job of not getting jealous.

aanndd... now i'm just sittin around having a lazy saturday. i'm havin a lot of mixed thoughts about boyfriend stuff... but i'm trying to not let it bother me and just let it take its course. cause i'm happy - just a little unsure in some areas.

so.
i cannot WAIT to go to Play again. i hope i can resist going a 5th consecutive weekend... heh. i kinda need a break.

you know what i'd love?

i'd love it if i had a boyfriend that noticed small, quirky things about me that not a lot of people notice or that i don't even realize. and then told me about them at random, sweet times.

like... i'd love that

and there're things that i do, that i do notice, that i purposly don't point out to people, cause i want to wait for that guy to notice... and for him to be the first.

just thought i'd share

i just wanted to let eveyone know what today my best friend, Caitlin Cheadle was in a pretty bad car accident.
she slid off the road and hit a tree.

she's in intensive care at Vanderbilt right now, her hip is broken and she has some bruised ribs. her elbow also might be broken or bruised.

that's all i know right now, but i also know that she needs prayer, and i know that God can help her through this.
i know she'd appreciate the love.

thanks everyone. <3

wwwwwooooowwww.......

so friday i went to the club - of course. it's always so fun goin with Elliott and Bradford. =]
got hit on a lot.
i decided to talk to bar tenders, beCAUSE, they are among the few people that are totally sober. and they're real sweet. =D

saturDAY was really good. i went to the DBS Fashion Show with Hope - and it was adorable. then we had Chili's.
NEXT TIME you go to Chili's - try the Shanghi Boneless Wings!!! they're SO good.
saturday night was... drama.
but i think it's worked out now.

yesterday i just worked... then i went to GAME night. haha. it was sssssoooooo fun.
yeah. that's all. =]

but that was my CRAZY weekend.

and today is a good day to just stay at home - since it's all icky outside.
now i just have to resist spending money on itunes.

=]

she messaged me again saying that i'm just too cute to be gay.

ah, 14-year-olds and their reasoning.

and thanks for all the support guys. i know not all Christians are like that. i am one.

and i love all of you!

that is the exact message i recently receive from some 14-yo girl.

now if this was her attempt to share Christ with me, it was a bad one. God would never call someone a "fagot" (btw - it has two Gs) and condemn them to hell.

anyway. i replied with "you're a bitch who can't spell. have a nice day" which was prolly kinda immature... but whatev.
and she wrote back "fuck u 2 hell boy.. ima pray 4 u"

which is also a poor attempt to share God's love - if that's what she was trying to do.

i don't know about you, but i don't want someone who's gonna call me a fag and say "fuck you" to me to be praying for me.
i think the one that needs prayer is her.

so let this be a lesson to all of us to truly be Christlike when we're trying to witness.
abrasion never got anyone anywhere.

you know what i'd love?

i'd love it if i had a boyfriend that noticed small, quirky things about me that not a lot of people notice or that i don't even realize. and then told me about them at random, sweet times.

like... i'd love that

and there're things that i do, that i do notice, that i purposly don't point out to people, cause i want to wait for that guy to notice... and for him to be the first.

just thought i'd share

so i was just realizing that few of my close friends have perfect teeth.

is that a weird thing to think about? it just struck me as odd.

sorry if anyone's offended... imperfections are what makes people perfect, though.

love

i'm SO excited about my birthday!

so far it sounds like it's gonna be amazing! my weekend is PACKED - but it's all about me. hehehehe.

tonight... i think my boo is comin over. hehehe. so excited.

and tomorrow i'm chillin with my dad and my step-family. they ALWAYS celebrate birthdays at their house.
and tomorrow night i'm gonna see some close friends.

then sunday (my actual birthday) my mom and i are gonna go get a camera and go over to my sister's house for a party!

and sunday night, i'm gonna have dinner with everyone from work!! EVEN BRIDGET!!!!!

so.

thanks everyone for helping this birthday to be the best ever.

... and 22 minutes. ish.


that's big.
i'm not 100% sure how i feel about it.
i kinda wish i had more stuff in my life figured out than i do. but i don't, so i'll deal with it.

i'm kinda hoping something big is gonna happen and life is gonna make this big U-turn and go in the ideal direction.
but i'm trying to not expect anything.
i always end up expecting stuff, and then when it doesn't happen, i get all depressed and lose hope.

yeah. i wish i was a little more grown up.
but at the same time, i still wanna be a kid.


welp.
there's no turning around now.
so hold my hand guys - i'll need my friends!

but aside from all the anxiety...
i'm so excited! this is huge - to me, anyway.

i can't WAIT till my birthday!

some things confuse me

why my name is never used where people could see it
why my comments aren't always approved
why your orientation is "no answer"
weather or not we are or aren't

some things make me sad

how much i miss you
how busy we are

some things make me wonder

why i can't think of anyone but you
why i feel bad if i do

but

there's a lot that makes me happy

like... you.

so i found this thing... some inside jokes we wrote down, from my trip to hawaii. no one will understand except Erin Hall and Jessica Hooper... and maybe some other person who was on the trip. but i thought it was funny. i'm pretty sure what happened was we took our jokes from the trip and made them into a song:

"i'm in love with a man i can't have, but the beat goes on... and on... and i cry and i try... but all hope is lost... and the beat goes on... but the boys are fine and the peanut butter better so just shake your body and kiss my lips and try to cry to see the beat behind my eyes. why? because i'm in a pink intertube with a french horn player and a homo and my name is hodki... the beat just goes on. and i scream in my dreams of swing and model my cute clothes with gay boys lookin good but outa reach."

good memories.

hahaha.

i can't give blood.

bet ya'll can guess why.

yep - "iron deficiency"

i just don't feel like trying any more.

i'm exhausted.

and i just want my life back.

i don't do anything but go to school and work any more.

plus side: (if you can call it that) i have a week off work in october. well. five days. but still.

life
sucks

... and when i used to ALWAYS do cool stuff to my pictures. for some reason i'm not good at it any more.

so i love highschool football games!

i meet SO many awesome people. (hi ALEX) hahaha. and those three awesome chicks i rang around the rosie with. i only remember Valerie's name... and Ju's nickname. and that Michael guy (jessi's bf) and those skater kids... aanndd... Corey and Travis!

yeah. good times.