Sean thinks that i wasn't supporting him tonight when he needed it and he does need some support..

just like me. im broke, hes broke, hes so broke charges are being threated to be pressed... however you phrase it..

hes seriously worried that he is going to have to move back home and i think he is overreacting to all of this.. i don't know... its just.. not good...

everyone, especially me is under some super stress and we are all penniless and depressed..

but luckily we still have each other. and things will work out. i have devised a plan. (:

one word....

FUCK!!

*edit: okay... i broke down.. got a myspace.. so go and make me your friend. :D

http://www.myspace.com/brigadkins

did anyone hear about that lady in gat-town that was selling like those 300 & something dogs that she was supposedly breeding on a farm?

i dunno. my mom and gma told me about it. i thought they were crazy and just didn't give me any of the drugs they were on. :

so tomorrow is the big day i go take a certain test. sean is going to go with me. (: how nice.

so anymoo. i can't wait till friday. cause dontcha know what that means! $$ im cashing in... not really its all going to my phone bill. :

*briggy (:

one day i am going to win or have a gigantic amount of money and i am never going to work ever again a day in my life!!!!

i hate work. i hate being poor.. gah.

someone save me from my middle/lower class woes...

:[

  yesterday's post is slightly.... dramatic after re-reading it.

we got the new computer. its nice. its new. of course.

i got the old one. yay for me. i will just add more ram... update it to xp and i will have a nice "new" computer. which will do me just fine. (:

i borrowed $20 from sean so i could get out of the negatives... i'm afraid im going to get another overdraft charge.... which will totally fuck me but hey!

other good news i suppose: i signed up for insurance! woo hoo! (:

i'm gonna take amanda up to meet the guys sometime this week. maybe she will like donut hole or even cub! which would kinda be cool. since my two new jobs are to find cub a girl and amanda a guy lol. which i think will be exciting. i hope cub actually will like amanda as a friend. cause kayla.... fucked it up... lol.

'did i pull your string? -- no.'

i think those guys are quality entertainment!! i love 'em.

*briggy (:

~to amanda:

here are some helpful tips when going to meet the guys.

»follow the house rules. you'll see the sign on the door when you walk in. they mostly consist of: don't use all of the tp; don't drink and drive, there is always a couch to crash on; and if you drink the beer always bring a pack the next time you visit!
»wear your shoes at all times, (unless you are like me) because the front yard consists mostly of mud which then tracks into the house. :
»don't open the frige.... its smells like something died...
»respect the stripper room. even pretend you like it. its very important. if you have any free time you should help me remodel it. i'll tell you what i'm going to do to it.
»beware of the adorable dogs. :D
»they like to mess with people. (:
»JESSY. jessy is cookie's girlfriend.. jessy bitches.. cub & jessy have a mutual hate towards each other, and to listen to them bitch at each other is exciting. it makes me want to pop popcorn and watch!
»be prepared for anything. especially mcdonald's runs. :P (free of course)
»Jeffery. aka Chastell.. um... wow. hes hot, but he is dumb and he is going to jail soon... cause he stole his neighbors power meter and got caught! (hello?) so basically he sweet and all but stay away from him. he also smokes pot.. which... yeah, point.

 i recommend the boys in this order according to who i think you would like... i'm guessing.. 1: donut hole, 2: cub, 3: .... yeah that's it.

donut hole.... is tall, kinda lean, basically has no hair... its a buzz (like cub's) but cute. he drives a nice jeep cherokee that is black its up on 33's it has awesome pipes and you can hear that thing like more than a mile away. its so awesome. back to the guy himself. he seems like the quiet type.. and he seems really nice. and a fun fact: he is cub's younger brother. kinda iffy fact: he is one year younger than me. meaning he is still in high school! wow. oh, and i don't remember his real name.

cub... real name michael. is my height a bit heavy set but still cute. extremely funny, provides entertainment by bitching with jessy.. drives a royal blue truck that looks very nice. :D i think its a Ford. and he is a corrections officer like sean will be in about a month. (: meaning he brings in a bunch of money. :P he is the middle brother. his mom is called Momma Bear, and she is da BOMB. (: really sweet. he is legal to drink and likes Bud. (which i know is someones favorite beer!!) he also likes dogs... long walks on the... ha!

and i think that's all you can really be prepared for. oh. they play video games all the time. and they might even show you the penis sock. which is kinda cute but a whole lot of funny.

:D but i love 'em!

i am so poor that i feel that i should be walking around digging through dumpsters for a scrap of anything... i have even gone through everylast penny of my savings.

and that $500 i got for graduation for half of a laptop i was going to buy... uh yeah that disappeared way long ago.. say around graduation.. and no it wasn't spent on a new laptop...

and now.. since my mom lost my job i agreed to try to pay rent by paying one of the smaller house payment things and its it $200 which is extremely good and i didn't have a problem with paying that.. but now i do. since i am poor.... i just spent this paycheck on part of my credit card bill that i want to pay off... cause i don't think its really worth it... cause really its just fucking me over... but its nice to have...

oh and tonight i dropped this metal pan, most likely the size and weight of a goddamn sink!! and yes it is swollen and starting to bruise...

to top it off... i lost insurance, also because my mother was fired... i am unable to go to the doctor... because i can't afford to!!!

now people... i think some should agree i should be digging through trash...

oh... i don't have gas... or gas money...

isn't that wonderful...

there... enjoy

so i got a little busted.. my mom found kayla's almost empty smirnoff bottle.... in one of the bags of extra food i brought home after she went poking. lol. she gave me a look but didn't get mad. lol.

i had a great time camping. i just wish i never had to come back!!! lol. im so tired of all the bullshit at both jobs that i just want to disappear into oblivion.

and i guess i would take sean with me. lol. but right now we wont get into that subject.... because yeah.. i find myself finding reasons to stay out all night so that i can... yeah.. stay out all night. we will leave it at that.

anyways i need to unpack and do laundry and shower lol.

good night folks! use protection.

so in my life time as we know it. i've always been a good listener, a good thinker, an all around good problem solver. and people namely my friends come to me for help and advice. yesterday as my very long post about unemployment got destroyed by the zap of a browser.. it became drastically short.

in any case. my mother actually took my advice and im proud of her. basically when i came home lsat night before i went to sean's to cook dinner and bake cookies... i told her, after i was tired of the crying/ sobbing, look of the world is over expression on her face while staring into space... i told her 'to get off her lazy ass (yes, i said ass to my mother) and get out tomorrow and find a job'. i said to her, 'you have 15 plus years of experience, you can get a goddamn job anywhere.' so today she got on the phone and the internet and on thursday she has an inerview already!!  and then another to schedule a few days after.

and since im the only one with money right now. i did some grocery shopping. (: and because when im upset or anything like that... i like to bake... so i made chocolate chip cookies.. (: and they are really good. and im happy. (:

and im going camping this weekend. yes!! i can't wait!! lol. beeeeeer! yeah. lol.

so my mom lost her job today...

chew on that..

leah says: 'i hate my life...'

well i could say that too. but only because half of my life sucks. (that would be the half that is worked like a slave and is beaten down)

but the other little half maybe not even a half maybe like a fourth. is happy because after being with cool ass people (mainly of the male species) and two beers and two shots of whiskey... well not many problems seem to occur.

except when you watch jackass... and have those same cool ass people try to pull off some stupid shit. :D

much love.

i mean seriously!! >:|

Things I liked best about today:

» i did the ronald money all day...
» i didn't have to see sean.
» i talked to joey. :D
» i had some of g-ma's cake

Things I hated about today:

» i had to work.
» i still have to go back to work in 30 minutes to work again.
» i know i have to go to work tomorrow.. )':
» i don't have any money. which is a lie. but i tell myself that so i don't spend it. because i am a money binger. just like a food binger. :P
» i might see sean later.

so yeah... i'll catch you kool kats later. =o.O=

so i have the new manager guy at my store hitting on me seriously. kayla and claudia tell me he was eye-raping me and like licking his lips.

let me tell you now. ew gross. x_x;;

why do i attract weird people to me..? because i am weird? or because i find something in a person that i can relate to or that i like. :

seriously i made this giant burger for my friend cody. (who also works for me and i know how to make his sandwiches just right) and he had to hold it together with a fork!!

this thing is a fucking monster!! it has like two buns in there plus like 6 plus peices of meat and much much much more cheese than that and like all the pickles and stuff. omg. how can anyone eat a cow like this. ugh! it makes me want to be a vegetarian!

so i saw joey at manager class today.. ;) you know as a random thought: i would rather be eye-raped by joey than sean. x_x;;

way rather in fact... actually i would rather be eye-raped by the guys who do the siding than sean and thats saying something.

i can't believe he tried to ask me out on a date... "to show my appreciation for staying late tonight..." All it takes: a thank you! no dates required. for real, kayla told me today on my break from class that he asked her last night "what the policy is on dating a manager-trainee."

sure im flattered and all but... hey buddy. like back off. (:

hopefully my car will pass emissions tomorrow!!

and to all those 06's out there!! good luck with college! hope your first day was great!

today i was browsing the galaxy-ness of the web. and came across some xanga sites or blogs or something and these girls are literally starving themselves and making a weight journal. and every single one i read they were already fricking 120lbs. or less!!! trying to loose weight so they weigh like 95!!!

omg! that just pisses me the hell off. they write down everything they eat and how many calories or some crap and they don't eat anything!!! by the way!! and that just pisses me off!!!

how are you going to starve yourself when you only weigh 112 lbs!!! argh!

im frickin 5'11" and i weight over 200 even if  you don't believe me. i do. and that makes me depressed. because it kills me. but when youre fucking 112 and starving to be 95, you are sick in the head and you need some damn help. if you don't think you have a eating disorder you are bat-shit-crazy.

*roars like a lion or tiger* whatever. that just pisses me off. ive been fat all of my life. i hate girls like that. it just kills me for them to complain of being fat!! why don't you try being my size for a day. grr.

good news...

im starting to get peoples numbers back... and i sat up and played cards all night with my grandma. :D

so today my new cute date person was suppose to call me today. but my phone was acting strange. i forgot to put it on the charger last night so the battery died. which i've done any number of times!! but this morning i hooked it up and it said charging for a minute or so and then it just left a green light on and so i thought.. maybe its charging.. so like 5 hours later, i go in my room and try to get it to turn on and it wont so i think maybe its really really dead and needs more time. so i leave it on. i come back at like 5 and i still can't get it on.

so i decide to go to walmart to see if Grey's Anatomy Season 2 was out yet and it wasn't.. :| so i needed to get Drano too.

a strange thing happened though. when i was at walmart. i was asking the saleslady if she had GA2 there was 2 black girls standing at the phones with some skinny, flava flav looking guy and i asked my question and one of the girls looks at me and says "are you Brigette?" and i looked at her strange and nodded. and i was about to be like "who's asking?! you think you know me?! what?!" but i didn't want to break another nail and on top of it get kicked out of wolly world. yes, i know. there are two wolly worlds here in the boro. --about to be three!! anyways. i just nodded and walked away. but i am curious and it was strange. you have to admit. it was.

so.... i strayed way off the subject of my phone.... whre was i... oh yes so after walmart i was going to stop into the verizon store. let me tell you. go early cause at night they are slam-packed. i stood in line for like 15 minutes until i got up to the counter and then they got my info and told me to look around until they could figure out was wrong with my phone. so that was another 15 minutes until the chick came and got me. and she basically told me they couldn't get it on even with a brand new battery (that hasn't been reused) and it still wouldn't turn on.

so i got a new phone... which is cool and all but the bad news is. Since they couldn't turn the old one on... they couldn't transfer any of the numbers in my phone book. and i just bought a shit load of ringtones and of course i had all of my awesome pictures in my phone.. -.- and now i probably will never get those back. ever. which sucks cause i spent like $30 and i had unlimited gaming on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... -.-;

this so sucks. half of the people in my phone book i possibly wont ever see anymore and therefore cannot ge there numbers. -.-;;; so depressing really.

so everyone that i know that is reading this!! Leave your number(s)!!! cell phone numbers and house numbers work numbers... i want it all.. just to stalk you and learn all of your secrets... *evil laugh (muwahaha)*

i love you guys. (:

you know what sucks most of all!!! i don't have my new dates number anymore!!! ah! ): and hes really sweet. we went bowling and then he took me out to dinner to a Japanese restaurant where they cook infront of you on a hibachi grill. which is awesome cause they play with the food and do fancy stuff. it was really sweet. (: i enjoyed it alot. then when i got home he called me and we talked to each other all night. (: about things we shouldn't be talking about because we aren't dating and we haven't made out yet.. so that talk was way .... well it was a good talk don't get me wrong, but hey. :D

maybe if i see him again this week maybe on wednesday or thursday... well we wont get into that. (:

goodnight!!

don't forget to leave me your number!

so im like a goddess right now. i switch my shampoo type, not brand but type. cause i have a skin condition on my head (exima o something like that-- not dandruff) and so im tired of dry nasy hair..

so i switched. and now, i have the goddess hair of lust and desire.... like sexy hot kitchen sex with multiple orgasms...

what can i say..? i love my hair. (:

my new favortie artist or art-eests? (:

why....

Panic! At the Disco!! (:

*yawns* ...

im sleepy. and i have to work tomorrow... and the day after that... and so on. and then tuesday.. my car shall be fixed... once again. ugh!!!

im supercalifragilisticexpialidocious frickin tired of fixing it. almost every cent of my paychecks which from the end of march to now has been over $4000 i could have bought another fucking car. argh..

now i think i will finish up my bills, check on my lizard, and either fall into bed or watch Beauty and the Beast or somethin..

(:

also...

i found out that half of my residents in my usual section at Adam's Place are in the hospital and one of them: his wife died!! :'( even though she was kind of a mean old lady it is still sad cause you know the rumor, when a couple that loves each other that much and has been married so long that when one dies the other dies soon after... that is so sad...

i hate to think about people dying because that makes me think of my grandmother dying and i really can't even begin to touch on that subject before i burst in to smetherens of tears... :'(

but anyways.. i still have Mrs. Haynes. she is lovely and sweet (: and Mrs. Fillers because she lets me help put together her puzzle. cause i like puzzles. :D they make pretty pictures. :P

i'm cutting back on my hours some, so that im not working 14 & 16 hour says anymore.. it will be like 9 or 10 hour days. (:

because i am too tired and i don't have time for anything but work. ): and that includes my g-ma and ma.. and my pets. and my friends. who needs to get off from work to go to the lake or get a tattoo... :D

i want to make some cookies...  what kind should i make.. ?? (:

so my weekend has been so awesome! I went camping at FCF this weekend, even though, here in the boro its poured it was nice and lovely there. i got a nice tan afer a little redness on my face and shoulders... bought some cool indian hand made jewelry and a dream catcher, etc. and my car rides incredibly nice now that i have a new front axle. :D

I drank nothing but beer and water this weekend intending to get smashed, but alas all i got was a nice buzz and discovered i can hold my liquor very well. (:

a guy hit on me and amanda and invited us to party at their place (via up the hill to their campsite) and smoke a blut with them. we found out later from one of the other guys named ben than the guy who they called midget ninja was full of crap lol. and he went to bed at like 8 to conserve his chi or something like than. zenmaster, as it were.

it was great though. i wish i could have stayed longer. like a couple of days longer. (:

but alas i go back to work wednesday. (:

i was very beautiful down there and i want to go every year. now im looking forward to mine and amanda's road trip up to kansas and back that will take 2 weeks in the fall. (: yep i can't wait.

and i think it will be wise to start college in fall 2007 instead of Spring because some of the classes might need to be taken in course. I dunno. College is coming up soon, but not too soon. I still have time. (:

i found this on erin and edi's sites and decided to put it on mine to end tonights blog. :D sleep tight.

[RICH KID]

[ ] You go to a tanning salon.

[ ] You watch The OC/Laguna Beach/The Hills.

[x] You own a cell phone.

[ ] You love going to the mall.

[x] You take your cellphone everywhere.

[ ] You own an iPod/MP3 player.

[x] You love Starbucks.

[x] You love flip flops.

Total: 4


[GOTH]

[x] Red or black is one of your favorite colors.

[x] You have thought about death.

[ ] You wear chains.

[ ] You like heavy metal.

[x] You love Hot Topic.

[ ] You have worn black lipstick.

[ ] Your hair is dark/ kind of dark

[x] You dislike preps.

[ ] You're an atheist.

[x] You have/want piercings in unusual places. (tongue, belly button, etc.)

Total: 5


[SKATERBOARDER]

[x] You can skateboard. *a little bit* (:

[ ] You wear plaid.

[x] You love Converse.

[x] You think you're different.

[x] You hate MTV.

[x] You have moshed.

[x] You have/had/want blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair or highlights.

[x] You love skater girls/boys. :]

[ ] You hate pink

[x] You hate rich kids sometimes.

Total: 8


[NERD]

[x] You love computers.

[ ] You like Star Trek.

[x]You wear/are supposed to wear glasses.

[x] You get straight A's. *sometimes*

[x] You love reading.

[ ] You are in band.

[v] You don't care what you look like.

[x] You have a curfew.

[ ] You always do your homework.

[ ] You never cut school.

Total: 5.5


[EMO]

[x] You're depressed sometimes.

[x] You have black-rimmed glasses.

[x] You like Thursday.

[ ] You comb your hair in front of your face.

[ ] You cry easily.

[ ] You like emo music.

[ ]You hate being called emo. But how does that make me emo??

[x] You keep a journal/diary.

[x] You have written a sad poem.

[ ] You have had a sad MySpace layout.

Total: 5


[GHETTO/GANGSTA]

[x] You like rap.

[ ] You are in a gang.

[ ] You wear Tag.

[ ] You wear rubberbands in your pants.

[x] You swear a lot.

[ ] You have had a freestyling contest.

[x]You have said "fo shizzle".

[ ] You have worn Converse with the tongue flipped out.

Total: 3


[SCENE/HARDCORE]

[x] You wear a bandana. *if i feel like it*

[x] You love the Ninja Turtles, Scooby Doo, etc.

[ ] You never walk anywhere.

[x] You wear slip-on Vans.

[ ] You love Norma Jean.

[x] You wear band tees.

[x] People have called you a freak and mean it.

[x] You love to "hardcore" dance.

[ ] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.

[ ] You will kill if called a satanist.

Total: 6


[PREP]

[ ]You love Laguna Beach/The OC/The Hills.

[ ] You want a tiny dog.

[ ] most of your clothes consist of pink

[ ] You're a shoe fanatic.

[ ] You shop at AE.HOLLISTER...A&F.ETC.

[ ] You love to shop.

[ ] You love skirts.

[ ] You like Paris Hilton.

[ ] Getting your nails done is fun

Total: 0

(: -*b

im so tired!!!

im working so much that i don't have time for anything. i've got two jobs and its working nicely but i can't go to the lake that much because me and amanda work diff schedules... so whenever we coordinate its good.

i can't wait to go camping!!! oh gosh! whoo hoo!

love life: eh... i don't really want to get into it. its complicated.

what i want for my birthday is a personal massues and a new car. preferably tall, dark and handsome with big hands... and a hard top Jeep Wrangler. (:

i bough new glasses made by versace. oooh ahh. haha yeah cost me $367 AND 48 cents with insurance.. and they couldn't make them in the store because my perscription is so strong thy don't carry it in stock so i have to wait about 2 weeks, if that..

so i bought a new cd: The Fray-- I FRICKIN LOVE IT. gosh. its a great cd. i pretty much know it by heart. lol.

so i got my car fixed, everything is good, got my shock done. driving great whatever, well toby called me into the back of the shop and showed me the cv axles on my truck and how the front passenger side is missing a boot meaning, i need a complete new one... UGH!! everytime i frickin turn around i have to FIX something. eh. who cares. i'll just get more money off of it.

now i think its time for that hot steamy shower... that i will most likely fall asleep in.. (:

so my life has been some what eventful, shall we say, in the last week or so..

so y'know my car..? yeah well it kinda blew up. and i was bumming rides off people left and right so that i could make it to work.well i just got my car back like 2 days ago. and still my shock wasn't fixed.. and the car details of it blowing up... too long and too many things to tell you about it. BUT one exciting fact: my anti-freeze boiled!!

yeah i know. amazing.

i went to the lake. i so had fun. i bought a little grill thing. it was great we grilled out and had a blast. phillip and chris a. jumped off the bridge. its was awesome. i so wanted to do it, but i was afraid of loosing my top. :D cause you know them 2 pieces you gotta watch out for.

but... i'm emotionally having a ruff time... ): i even called Barb (the ex Mrs. Leeper) and told her about it. you see... i haven't been able to see my boyfriend in, atleast, 2 weeks or more. and its like that every other time you know..? cause we only have off Monday & Tuesday together and we still don't get to see each other then anymore (barely).. and its really made me upset and i need some companionship. well me and someone important to me got close.. (or maybe i just thought we did) and you know... i got to where i "liked him" liked him.. ): and we were spending time together after work.

so... i've been asking him personal questions and such.. wondering if he wanted a girlfriend and such... etc. whatever. and he started to kind of avoid me... (or it felt like it) would text back, he was always busy, didn't want to hang out anymore.. and so i was getting a bad impression... so i was like whats up?! and he told me he was dating a girl for a couple of days now...

well i was smashed.. ): even though i really shouldn't have been-because i have my own boyfriend and i love him very much.. but you know... ): i was still smashed... :

so i skulked over a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and watched Gone with the Wind. :

rejection stinks. >:{

anyways. on to brighter subjects... I ordered stuff from target!! :D i got a polk-a-dot shirt that is uber cute on me. a tote purse with is really cool and it has the big tassel on it (etc) and i got Dane Cook's Harmful If Swallowed cd. it's great, he is an awesome comedian. i burned Retaliation from Justin. (:

i have two jobs now. im back at mcdonald's and im not takin shit from no body!! >:} muwahaha.

i saw a BEN-LOOK-ALIKE! his name is cody and works with me.i miss playing dominos and going to chef wangs with rocky and ben and sam. those were good times. (:

...And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

wow, do you know what makes me happy...? shall i make a list for you?

♪ no more highschool
♪no more stupid ass people
♪no more fucking drama
♪no more lunch lines with stupid underclassmen cutters..
♪no more artificial friendships
♪no more lame excuses or bull shit

yeah... im free. im a graduate. im older. whatever. im glad to be out of school and i will definitely miss friends and i will want them to keep in touch with me always even though i know most of us are going seperate ways and we will be too busy making new friends to really remember the old ones. but definitely try to keep in touch. i have your number in my phone! no reason not to randomly text me when you want to talk!

im in nashville alot these days... even though im driving a car im trying to sell because it is fucking me big time because of all the shit im repairing on the peice of junk. im looking for a new car. and i want a jeep wrangler. but then i want a full suv y'know. i like my big bodies. people move out of your fucking way.

when is school officially out? is it may 31st or what cause i gotta bring that stuff back to mr. griffith. stat. and im working on it, and i was suppose to bring it up there yesterday and i got busy and had to go places. and today im in nasshville so i really can't take it up there cause i have to go to work after i get back so... sorry. *shrugs*

graduation was pretty good. i got a digital camera (a kodak easy share- comes w/ a printer) and that was cool cause it was on my list of shit i wanted. then my computer... i haven't got it yet but i have atleast have of the money down on it. i just need about $800 more... (: im getting a mac. yes, yes, yes. Y-E-S.

alright i gotta blow this joint. hit the mall for a little bit until sam gets out of school and then head home and go to work. : oi..

so... i never blog anymore... ill get around to it one day when i feel like getting on. most likely the days after exams and school when i have something to say. :P

prom was great (:

so the play was cute. the costumes looked great. i was proud. the fog machine didn't look like it worked again. i was kinda sad that i didn't get any recognition for costumes but thats okay. April (Ms. Gunter) said she would try to get pictures of people in costume for me to put in my porfolio. so thats awesome. (:

no current events for a week!!! me and justin went riding around in my neighbor hood. and we went into this private drive in the back of my neighborhood that like goes up into a mountainy area (i've been up there before) whice is supercool. but we turned around. :P

im at home chillin for the rest of the day. (: