well...i didn't realize how blonde my hair actually was!  it looks more like we dyed it than we highlighted it...but i think it looks ok!  oh i did some research and i found out that my height is estimated to be anywhere from 5'9" to 5'11 1/2"...AAAH!  but who knows?  what's crackalackin with you fun kiddo's?  i'm kinda not scared about highschool anymore but i kinda am...it's so big and i get lost very easily and i'm not good with directions!  i'm also very scared i'm gonna get mugged in the bathroom or something....*shivers*.  so far the only thing i'm looking forward to in highschool is choir...and graduation.  OH YEAH and french..i want to take french class.  WOOO...woo.  i think i might actually get to take ballet!  but i would be a little late for youth group if i did... :(.  i wouldn't be really late just kinda.  i should probably go finish those books i was supposed to read...cuz i haven't yet!  bad carmen...hopefully i will get english 2nd semester but i want all my harder classes in the first semester...rawr.  okay well that's really all the thoughts i have right now

I'm taking advantage of some free time time to gve the highlights of my trip thus far...

 

Robert got us in Kalamazoo, so we don't let him drive while Mom sleeps anymore. 
photo from Sinatra


photo from Sinatra


We got there in one piece and so far so good. I haven't seen my cousins in about 10 years, and they look a little different. David (shorty in the red shirt) wasn't even born at that point.
photo from Sinatra


Uncle Rick tried to  teach me how to play the piano, and then settled down to his guitar when he realized I'm "instrumentaly challenged". 
Mom's high school friend Missy 
The house on the Amish farm Mom grew up near. They're great people, and that's where I sewed my finger to the sewing machine. I was 7, sue me. 
Fluffy cuteness!!Not so fluffy or cute. 
We all roke out into
Weird Al at this point.    

 



 

 

   

 

So i pretty much miss Tennessee. All my friends here are not as great as you guys. Its not just the friends that i miss all that much. Its everything. Hawaii is great and all but nothing will ever be as good as Dickson, TN. Just thought i would say i miss you guys even though there it is 2:15 in the morning :P 

 

LOVE YOU GUYS 

photo from LoweryKid

1.) today was a hard day. but after a nice refreshing cold shower, i feel alright... that and some added comfort food like mac-n-cheese and chocolate ice cream :-)
2.) i realized i am horrible at responding to emails. 
3.) i think it is funny that i am both organized and messy.
4.) old people are funny and i will miss them when i leave
5.) i am thinking i need to seriously start a to-do list....
6.) tomorrow.
7.) hello, my name is rachael, and i am a procrastinator. 

Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday.
Man am I getting old!

i FINALLY got my highlights done!!!  it's really blonde...wow.  i do NOT feel very well...i can't breathe!  i didn't sleep lastnight...i think i'm an insomniac because that happens to me a WHOLE lot...what's up with you fun kiddo's?  OH i wrote a poem in my time of not-sleeping lastnight...i think i remember it...

Love is...kissing the sky

touching a heart,

holding a hand,

caressing a thought,

Love is...thinking of you

wondering why,

your words broke my heart,

when you said goodbye,

Love's...an immaculate impulse,

a bittersweet notion,

the feeling inside you,

more than an emotion,

Love is...the feeling I have,

the feeling you don't,

I keep saying you will,

But my heart says you won't,

Love is...a push and a pull

A tight joint effort,

Knowing you can face,

Everything together...

WOW I REMEMBERED IT!!!

well that's about all...remember-life's too short to not have fun!

:P

there goes my sleep...

 

drat.

 

must make myself sleep.

 

otherwise im gonna be dead tomorrow

 

ick for 8:00 mornings from late nights.

 

 

So i am going to Hawaii Baptist Academy. Kinda nervous. Its supposed to be really hard but i think i can do it.

School starts in a week wow making new friends is going to be hard especially because i am like 1 of 5 white kids in the school lol.

well i guess thats all

byeeeee 

 

   Well lets start this blog off right

                    THIS SITE IS SOOO BORING .

         ok well life is ok at this moment. ive been thinking about chase alott. went past where he wreck at.. :( it was soo sad. it wasnt =even a big curve he was on the phone w/ his momma and his cell fell and bent down to pick it up and then it happen. god takes the best. i wish he didnt take him. i dont know why but this is still hard. sww the first day of school is gonna be different. :( uh i everytime i hear my wish the song i start watering up. and i think of him.. i know hes gonna read this and i want you to know chase we all love you sooo much!! and help us get through this ok man.. i cant believ your gone.  i wish it was me then you man.. love ya soo much! rip..

 

    Well school is about to start.. im sorta glad its soo boring here. and i love all my friends more than youll ever know.. ok and keep praying for me.. kk

well.......i'm dealing with a lot right now.  stuff i really don't like dealing with...but i guess you don't ever really like problems, huh?  my uncle and his family left today.  i am so scared of high school...oh speaking of high school i think i might end up going to creekwood instead of DCHS...yup.  i would be fine if i just stopped life right here and fast forwarded to when i'm out of college...i don't think i've ever been so scared in my entire life.  and i don't have too many friends left to go through this with.  i think i might give up phusebox for good now...if you haven't noticed, i'm just typing whatever pops into my head...except for some things because i don't want to offend anyone.  maybe i should just say it...naaaah.  all this seems to be doing is frustrating me.  i miss a lot of people...like my best friend and keri and megan...but i miss people that i still see a lot too...i miss the way they used to act, the way it used to be.  but i guess everyone's changing and that's something i just have to deal with.  but i don't want to lose the few friends i have left.  i'm tired of it and i wish there was something i could do to stop it but there's not, is there?  well...je suis dans l'amour...and it's making me confused!

I get carried away by the look by the light in your eyes
Before I even realize the ride I'm on baby I'm long gone
I get carried away

Nothin' matters but bein' with you
Like a feather flyin' high up in the sky on a windy day,

I get carried away...

==========================

NOTHING MATTERS BUT BEING WITH YOU

I just found out this morning that an old classmate from high school passed away late last week. Not to mention that there were two other significant deaths that happened kast week, in addition to the death of my grandfather just a little over a month ago AND the death of a friend's father just weeks before that.

 

This needs to stop. It's just too much tragedy in one summer.

What's important to my friends

should also be somewhat important to me,

if my friends are important to me. 

 

 

Anyone who knows me well knows I hate this hat. Its one of Kenny's favorite hats, and he knows how much I can't stand it. I've threatened to do serious damage to this hat before. But now this hat means a great deal to me. I'm holding it until October, when he moves back for good. You see he came to visit last week because his nephew was born wednesday morning. There is nothing like opening your front door at midnight to find the person you love on your doorstep. Well, I did find that. He left for VA Sunday morning, but before he did he made a stop by my house to say bye. I walked outside and said "You're leaving me again." He told me he'd be back. I said it again, "But you're leaving me again andI'll miss you." He pulled me into a hug and for a laugh said "I'm wearing that hat you hate." Then he took it off and put it on my head. He told me to hold it until he got back to claim it. So the hat I hate became a promise that he'd return, and now it means more than anything. Who knows, maybe I'll learn to like it after all.

happy birthday to me
photo from

so my computer has a virus. they said they may not have to delete everything, but who knows. if they do, they can save my documents, but not my music. i have about 5000 songs on my computer. blah. i'm hoping for the best.

 

i dont know if i've written this on here or not. i think i have. but i wanna write it again.

 

i've come to the conclusion that i wanna do something worth-while with my life. not just sit at a computer all day and crunch numbers. so i think i really wanna become a teacher. speaking of which. i should head over to the advisor today. but i have alot of homeowork... i know, i'm making excuses. but i wanna make a diference in the world.

 

i hate how people down America and the government. i cant even begin to fathom living in a different country. for instance. everyone loves ireland, but in half of the country you cant even walk out in the streets without being afraid of getting killed for your religous beliefs. or like how in israel, everywhere you go it is just like walking into an american airport. you get searched because terrorism is so bad over there. and a universal healthcare system is the last thing we need.

 

i've known about the ireland thing for a long time, but it didnt really hit me until i watched the ESPY awards the other night.

 

two men from ireland, one catholic, one protestant. two people that would normaly fight each other just for looking the other in the eye. these two men won the humanitarian award for bringing school aged children of different religions together to play basketball. through sports they have been able to show the country that it doenst matter what religion you are, you can get along with each other no matter what.

 

this really got me thinking. i dont care about winning an award. just like with rowing. ya, we can be successful at times. but 9 times out of ten, we get stomped. but i still go to the gym every day and work out. i still go to practice everyday and give it my all. it's not about the glory, it's about the personal satisfaction of knowing you did all you could to help. (that last bit might of come out wrong). but do you see what i'm saying. who cares if i get remembered at UT for centuries to come.

 

one of the posters in my room is of muhamed ali, one of the greatest athletes of all time. the quote says "the fight is won long before i dance under those lights. it's won out on the street, and in the gym."

 

that probably had nothign to do with it. but i like it. i dont the quote is word for word.

 

but i've been trying to think of ways that i can be productive with my life and help other people. other than being a teacher.

 

sorry. i try not to be political. but coming from a military family, and when i have many friends taht i've grown up with in the military right now. i hate to hear people, not people on here mind you, down america. we have it pretty good compared to just about anywhere else. just look at the facts.

 

ok, well i'm headed to carreer services now.

 

oh ya, i'm in the library since my computer is at the doctor right now. they guy next to me is wearing a dress...... um....... kind weird.

 

piece

So, I had a great entry and it got eaten.
Yesterday was Mandy and Kevin's wedding. It was beautiful. 
photo from becsaboo 
I also got the Harry Potter book 7 yesterday, it's beautiful too.
Gray is in Memphis until Thursday.
On Thursday I turn 22!
I'm busy trying to get things sorted out and pack up my room.
I move into my new apartment August 19th... YAY!
And then my last semester of school... in which I feel ridiciously old.

i've had a bit of a crazy week but i've DEFINITELY learned something from it.  God is faithful through it ALL!!!  My uncle and his family arrived safely from TX and let me tell you his daughters are SOOOO beautiful.  Okay well back to my other story.  God has proven so much to me this week.  I didn't really understand the power of prayer or being saturated in the Spirit.  Prayer is probably our greatest force as Christians.  I always wondered why when I asked for something it didn't always happen.  Part of it was because I didn't need that at the time and probably because I wasn't humble in asking it.  I realized that when you become humble and broken in front of the Lord he sees it.  You can't ask for things out of selfish ambition or whathaveyou; it has to be from a "broken and contrite heart".  And I learned also that to get an answer from the Lord, you have to listen.  Not with your ears but from your heart.  God has done a work in me lately and I think I'm gonna try and do a little in return.  I think there was so much going on in the past few weeks that I realized that no person could help me here; I had to turn to God.  In fact, about 2 months ago, I was at a Gospel Lights concert at our church.  One of our family friends came up and told me that there were going to be some things in my life in the next few weeks that I would have to go to God-He had spoken to him.  Of course, my initial reaction was 'ok'...but inside my head I was thinking "How does he know what's gonna happen in my life he doesn't really know me he hardly speaks to me!"  But it looks like he was right.  OH YEAH good news.  For those of you that didn't know, our church has been looking for a pastor for a little over a year now.  Well tonight we had a vote...there were 202 people there.  198 of them voted YES for the new candidate.  It only took two thirds of the "membered" congregation to vote him in and we had a 98% positive vote!!!  I am so happy.  well i'm done now.

I love it up here!!!!!!!

Yall this is a really really good movie.

  Its sad though. =(

  but a great movie!

  fire fighters have it rough.. us teens and adults complain all the time.. (like putting food on the shelves (random) lol) but seriously these people do alott. Yall just dont know what they go threw.

I just got back from watching HairSpray! :P lol thats like one of my top 5 favorite movies :) Its kinda funny how they just break out in song....but it makes me smile :) so i like it :P

Well we sold Mocha Man.... He was free so i guess we didn't Sell him but it sounds bad when you say, gave away or anything like that. He went to a FANTASTIC home..... the little girl who gets him was i guess around 3 and her older sister was around 5. They loved him and i think he'll like it with them. He was sweet with them and they will give him great care. But i can't help missing him. He was my first pony when i was 10!! Anyway you people dont care but i thought i would tell you anyways!!!

~Grace

i had an interesting day.  i got my nails and toes done and they look purty!!!  i went to a birthday party for my cousins and i had a lot of fun.  i hung out with grace a lot of the time..and she took pictures.  i'm finding that i'm becoming more and more like my mother every minute...i'm just the life of the party, so it seems.  which can be both good and bad.  tonight it was pretty good.  me and lane won the little dance competition thing...and we got some socks.  (practical presents!)  this day is not as fun when i write it down!!  well i am tired and have no one to talk to right now so i guess i'm gonna go.  Oh YEAH i bought some CUTE shoes today and oh my gosh they were only seven bucks!!!  HECK YES!!!  i am so awesome...okay well...bye

So, today was full of different feelings!! But now i feel......i suppose sick. Not sick like head and stomach kinda sick but a sad and hurt kinda sick. I feel that a lot, i try not to let it show but i dont mind writing it down. Yeah i'm weird, a lot of people would tell you that.
I want to wake up. I wish this was all a dream! But inside i know its not a dream.....but i can wish, right? Ha yet again its Bitter~Sweet. Some how Bitter~Sweet gets in all my posts. I mean the one thing i am longing for at the moment is not here, all i want is to see his smile or hear his voice..anything. But this person has no idea at the moment that i am dieing on the inside, this person is happy and living the life. And i dont want this person do be down or sad......i only want a smile on his face, yet i know that life sucks sometimes and your gona be down. But this time he needs me to be strong for him, but i am running out of strength..i'm losing my energy......
I probably sound so stupid!! I dont know.........
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"It starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose, wherever it goes, I always know. That you make me smile, please stay for a while, now. Just take your time, wherever you go."

 

This is from and AWSOME song that i just got for FREE on iTunes. "Bubby" by Colbie Caillat.

Love like there is no "What If" Or "Tomorrow"

Because you never know what is going to happen. Don't be afraid to tell them that because they might be gone in a second. It sucks when you are so close to telling them but you can't find the words to say. Don't let it take something huge to happen just  so you can tell them. DON'T BE SCARED.  If they feel the way you do about them they will  be cool about it. Don't worry. It will be OK.

 

 

yeah this is kinda random but i was thinking and i thought i should post it up
 

this song makes me cry...especially the part with the old man.  and the woman with the husband in the war.  omg but it's great.  i'm not particularly a big avril fan but i love this song.  i miss you...

Hey, just wanted to let everyone know that I'm home and ok. I appreciate all of your prayers...and I ask that you keep praying for me and my family. I have some really awesome friends. Thanks so much everyone!!!!!!!!!! 

I know you're reading this.

 

When are ya gonna visit me? Do I have to come down there or something?

Get your ChipIn widget

Who wants to help a dude out? 

If your a fan of the Harry Potter books or movies, this is one of the most hilarious things on the internet

i don't know why i titled this entry '-amore-' i just did.  i wish that when i talked or tried to explain something i actually made sense sometimes.  cuz the stuff i say actually makes sense to me and a few other people that are wierd like me...or just know me really well.  what i'm about to TRY to say is probably not going to make ANY sense.  so brace yourselves.  have you ever been in a position where you are so sure of something that nothing can change your mind except for yourself?  like you are so sure but then you start thinking and you aren't so sure anymore.  ugh i hate that because i feel like that A LOT.  it's quite frustrating.  well anyway, i guess i will just write.  i haven't done that all summer so this could be kinda long.  my uncle is coming from texas tomorrow.  i really miss him...he has two daughters.  i've only seen one of them and she is 3...the other one was born while i was in Hawaii and the only thing i know is that she has dark hair...and i know her name, of course.  I really love my uncle.  He is so tall!!!!  He's 6'10"...i hope i got some tallness from that side of the family.  if i have it's not quite kicking in yet.  it all goes to my feet...lol.  but what is so great about my uncle is that he is funny...i love to laugh!  this is a kinda pointless entry.  that brings me to another wish...i wish i had some meaningful thoughts every now and again...maybe i do.  *GASP!!!* I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!!!  i have not posted ANY of my poems on here...wow.  that's absolutely...strange.  so here's one i did a little while back.

"To Not Feel Love..."

To not feel love is not to feel life

To not feel pain is not to feel strife

To not feel confusion is not to feel real

To not feel real is not to feel love

To not feel heartache is not to feel adoration

To not feel anger is not to feel irritation

To not feel pity is not to feel compassion

To not feel compassion is not to feel love

To not feel betrayal is not to feel lies

To not feel awe is not to feel alive

To not feel sad is not to feel hurt

To not feel hurt is not to feel love.

so...yeah that's about all. 

When I'm lost, in the rain...In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way...When I'm scared, losing ground.  When My world is going crazy, you can turn it all around.  And when I'm down, you're there-pushing me to the top...you're always there giving me all you've got.  For a shield from the storm, for a friend, for a love to keep me safe and warm...I turn to you.  For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on.  For everything you do, I turn to you...well enough of me boring you...go on with your lives now.  sorry to waste your time!!!!

How can you miss something that was never there? How can you long for that addiction you never had? How can you have futurestic flash backs of what will never happen? How can that thing that you've never had taste so sweet?

It seems like everybody is thinking I've changed a lot this summer. I mean I can't disagree. I've noticed the changes. I just don't know if I've changed for the good or bad. I remember when our middle school vice principal said that we would probally have different friends in high school we were all mad. Now I'm kind of thinking she might be right. I mean I'm not going to have completely new friends. I'm positive I'll keep some of my friends from middle school. I'm pretty sure me and Keri will still be friends. How could we not? I just feel really weird, but in a good way. Before middle school was over I kept saying I wish I had more confidence, and my mom has said she thinks I've found it. Apparently she's noticed that I'm a lot more outgoing, and I talk to more people. I kind of feel bad though because I was really sad eighth grade was over because I would miss all the good times, but now I'm not that sad anymore. I think I hurt one of my best friends feelings because I said that I had more fun than I had ever had in Australia. It's not that I didn't have fun in middle school. I certainly did. It's just that I always say I've had the most fun I've ever had after something major like that. And you could say I did, but it's not to say that I won't have more fun with things that haven't come yet. Like high school. I'm not going to say I'm not completely scared of it because I'm not. I'm still really nervous, but I'm also really excited because high school is going to be a major part of my life. And now that I'm more outgoing I think I'm going to have a great time.

i love that song Beautiful Girls!! it has one bad word but in the song you cant here it.. k but it has a good beat and its a great song (to me...lol)

 

         Chorus:
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Verse 1:
See it started at the park
Used to chill at the dark
Oh when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Coz we both thought
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't last together (last together)

Refrain:
See it's very define, girl
One of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You walk to get declined
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy

(Repeat Chorus)

Verse 2:
It was back in '99
Watchin' movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down South
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

(Repeat Refrain and Chorus)

Verse 3:
Now we're fussin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' slightin'
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're datin' other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal...

everything happens for a reason.

   ~Remember That~ :-)

...is to realize you might not ever be able to solve it.  I don't think I can say it any better than that.  We must hobble around on the crutch of mercy and grace because mercy and grace is what we need, even when we feel self-sufficient.  The pain we suffer and the mistakes we make are not necessarily a tangent, but a part of the main life experience.  Hope ya'll understand...

Garrett's grandma passed away in her sleep earlier today (or perhaps last night). Visitation is tomorrow and the funeral is Friday. Ask me if you need details. Please keep his family in your prayers; thanks.

I found that you should

Never miss an oputunity to tell someone

 

how you feel, don't say that there will be

 

a later because even though there

 

maybe one, it may be too late.

so...i've also been thinking lately (i know, odd!)...and i'm kinda stuck.  I've realized that i don't want to be a teacher or a doctor or whatever....i want to sing so bad like it's what i've done all my life.  but i do like to teach.  so, do i go after my dreams or settle for the norm?  because what if i go for it and i don't make it...and then what would i do?  but then what if i settle for normal and know that i had a chance?  i am so confused!!!  i know what i want to do but i don't know what i should do...help!

"If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs.

---Eh, sometimes repeat artists come up.... skip it or keep it. . .whatever

Opening Credits
Where Is The Love - Black Eyed Peas

Waking Up
The Light House Tale - Nickel Creek

First Day at School

Holes - Rascal Flatts ( doesn’t really fit but hey whatever )


Breaking up
HAHAHA ok here it is! Are you ready... lol

I LIKE IT, I LOVE IT - Tim Mcgraw

Happiness
Jealous King - Jars of clay (wow most of this doesn’t fit oh so swell)

Life's Okay
Jack and Diane - John Mellencamp

Mental Breakdown
Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield

Driving

The Day Before You - Rascal Flatts

Flashback
Kiss From A Ross - Seal

Getting Back Together
haha

Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban

Wedding
More Then Anyone - Gavin Degraw

Birth of a Child
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol ( lol )

Final Battle
Angels Fall Down - Skillet

Death Scene
New Strings - Miranda Lambert ( haha ok then )

Funeral Song
Forever Love - Anna Nalick

So Long
The Hand Song - Nickel Creek

oh my gosh this has to be like one of the funniest commercials in the history of ever.

Prayers Work!!

    i just thought i should put that. b/c praying is a big thing in a situatio.. (or thats what i think) but yeah!

I have always wondered why i'm afraid of change, and i just found out without even knowing what i was doing.

 

"I never change, and for some reason i don't expect anyone else to change either. That's why i'm so afraid of change. Because when something changes, everybody starts going in fast-forward, while I stand and watch everyone leave me behind."

 

I typed that in a remark without thinking about it really, but i found my answer. It's a scary one. Everything is scary now.

I deleted my "not afraid" thought.

The fear has been rekindled.

The last firm piller of my old life has crumbled, now i have to try to build a new one.

 

 

I am afraid of high school.

And my enemys.

And my future.

And my friends.

And myself.

Hey guys, everyone pretty much knows about Tamara..but if you didn't know she is Missing / Run Away!! We all need to be praying like craZy on this one guys. I know sometimes you say "oh i'll pray later" but we need to be praying none stop tell she is found!!! We all love her so much and hate that she is gone!!!!!!!!!! But if you know ANYTHING you  need to talk to SOMEONE, and tell them what you know! hidding anything is not going to help you OR her! its going to make things worse. So tell someone if you know ANYTHING about Tamaras running away!! Love You Guys!!
These are some random pictures i took today at my friends house






"PLEASE LORD BREING TAMARA HOME SAFE AND SOUND!! LORD PERTECT HER AND HER WAYS! GIUD HER HOME SAFE! LET HER KNOW YOU ARE THERE FOR HER AND LOVE HER!"
 "I LOVE YOU BUDDY.....WE'RE GONA MAKE IT.......DADDY KNOWS THE WAY HOME......"

SOOO i am in Hawaii. Just got here about 2 hours ago

i guess around there. Its not too incredibly bad. The people are treating me nice, I got invited to a concert on Friday. IDK if i want to go though.

well thats all i have to say for now

love you guys

bye

I saw that somewhere, and I really can't help but wonder...

 

Anyway, we're heading out to Michigan either tommorow or Thursday. 10 hour car trip with Camden, Robert, Mom, and me in a van, oh Lord. But the rest of the trip should be fun, I'll take pictures! 

"If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs.

---Eh, sometimes repeat artists come up.... skip it or keep it. . .whatever

Opening Credits
In The Jungle - Artist Unknown

Waking Up
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" Green Day

First Day at School
"Not Ready to Make Nice" Dixie Chicks

Breaking up
"Where You Are" Rascal Flatts (gosh i got a twisted life)

Happiness
"Bicycle Race" Queen
Life's Okay
"My Immortal" Evanescence
Mental Breakdown
"Complicated" Avril Lavigne
Driving
"Born to be Wild" Steppenwolf?
Flashback
"Hips Don't Lie" Shakira

Getting Back Together
"Barbie Girl" Aqua

Wedding
"I Could Get Used to This" Everlife
Birth of a Child
"White and Nerdy" Wierd Al (OMG!!!!) haha
Final Battle
"Run it!" Chris Brown
Death Scene
"Temperature" Sean Paul...lol
Funeral Song
"Homecoming" Rhonda Vincent...wow that's perfect
So Long  
"Ms. New Booty" Bubba Sparxxx (lol)

Warning: This thought will probably be extremely long considering it's wrapping up twenty days.

 

So Austalia was the best experience I could ever ask for. I made so many great friends and did so many new things I didn't think I would ever do. At the meetings before we left they kept telling us we would come home changed, and I do feel changed. I feel like a whole new person. I know this might sound weird, but it seems like my life before this trip was just a minor part of it. I know I've said eighth grade was the best time of my life, but I've completely changed my opinion. Australia was, and I still have the rest of my life to go. I'm so excited about everything now! I feel a lot more confident and outgoing than I ever did in middle school. And I'm totally over any guys I've ever liked in middle school. I've finally realized there is a whole world of people I've never met, and I know one person is just waiting for me somewhere. I'm learning not to settle for someone I kinda like. I want somebody I can share my life with.

So at the beggining none of us thought things were ever going to go well. Our flight out of Dallas was delayed five hours because of weather and the flight attendants weren't there. Because our flight was delayed so long, we missed our plane to Sydney, but we were lucky and caught an extremely late flight out of LA to Sydney. It wasn't all that bad though because we got to get some sleep because there wasn't any flights to Cairns until the next morning. Our bus also broke down, so we spent about two hours on a dirt side road waiting for somebody to come and get us. Our first official activity was the farm stay. I thought it was going to be extremely boring, but it was were I met most of the people, and had a lot of fun. My most memorable experience was probably the goat being put into our tent. It was really cold too. It got down to -7 celcius which about 20 something farenheit. And all we had was a sleeping bag, and a sheet. At Airlie Beach we got a civic welcome. It was pretty boring, and I almost fell asleep, but it made me feel special that somebody would want to recognize a bunch of American students. I also got my first shopping experience that day.  The Great Barrier Reef was absolutely amazing. It was so pretty. We got to try raw sugar can. It tasted pretty good, but it was really hard to bite off. We also tried sugar cane juice which was really sweet. We stopped by a school one day to have lunch, but there wasn't a lot of kids because they were on holiday too. We did meet a few kids that went to the school. They were pretty nice. The same day we stayed the night at UnderWater World. While we were there the electricty went off, and the downstairs flooded. So we had to eat in the dark, but the lights finally came back on. I actually slept a lot better than I thought considering we slept on the floor. After that we went to Tangalooma Wild Dolphin Resort. It was so pretty there. We got to try sand toboganning there. It looked really scary at first, but it was so much fun. The only downside was you get sand everywhere. We also got to feed the dolphins. The day we met our family we got to shop at our first Austalian mall. It was so much fun because we had a lot of free time to be with our friends and do what ever we wanted. My home stay wasn't that great. There wasn't much to do, and our home stay mom didn't have any kids of her own that weren't already grown up. My bed also smelled really weird. We did get to go to the beach and do some shopping. She was also home staying two Korean brothers. They didn't talk much, and we kept losing them. We got to visit a light house. The location was so pretty. I got some of my prettiest pictures there. Probaly one of my most exciting activities was the Full On experience. We got to try the giant swing. It wasn't really that scary, but I couldn't figure out what to pull. After I figured it out though it was so much fun. We also did rapelling which isn't that fun, because I was seem to hurt myself when you first kick off. We got to go the top of the Sydney Tower. It was so amazing. The Opera House was also really pretty too. We saw a giant organ. It was amazingly huge. It had like 27 rows of pipes. We got to try cricket. It was kind of like baseball, but a little different and a whole lot harder. We enedn our trip at the Hard Rock Cafe. We were dressed up in 80s clothes, and it was so much fun. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes, and my stomach hurt. Before we left I had mixed feelings about wanting to stay and wanting to go home, but after I was back in America I couldn't wait to see my family. I saw my dad first, and I was so choked up I could barely talk. I was so happy, but I was also a little sad that I was leaving my new friends. I can't wait till' our reunion so I can see everyone. It's going to be so crazy and fun being with everyone again.

"If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs.

---Eh, sometimes repeat artists come up.... skip it or keep it. . .whatever

Opening Credits
"Bigger Than the Beatles" Joe Diffie

Waking Up
"She'll Leave You With a Smile" George Strait

First Day at School
"Definately Maybe"  FM Static

Breaking up
"Settle for a Slowdown" Dierks Bentley
Happiness
"Grillz" Ali & Big Gipp, Nelly & Paul Wall

Life's Okay
"Concrete Angel" Martina McBride

Mental Breakdown
"Teardrops On My Guitar" Taylor Swift
Driving
"I Can't Make You Love Me" Bonnie Raitt

Flashback
"Drops of Jupiter" Train


Getting Back Together
"Sweet Victory" Spongebob Squarepants

Wedding
"Like We Never Loved At All" Faith Hill (lol......dosn't fit at all)

Birth of a Child
"Meant to Live" Switchfoot

Final Battle
"These Days" Rascal Flatts

Death Scene
"The Sweet Escape" Gwen Stefani

Funeral Song
"Stay With Me (Brass Bed)" Josh Gracin

So Long  
"Home" Daughtry

 

 

 

LOL. None of mine fit at all.

On serveys and crap like that, i never had an answer to "What is your comfort food?" I do now. I'm unhappy about the outcome of some recent events, and i can't stop eating cherrys. It's really weird, but i've like killed 30 cherrys in the last 10 mins. It's insane. I've never wanted to eat something so bad. Ya, well, that's all i had to say. gotta go eat cherrys.

So it's always neat to run into someone who's like-minded with you. Well, I was on YouTube earlier today doing a search on videos about Facebook just for the fun of it (I'm always in the mood for a good parody), and I ran across one that I particularly enjoyed. On the bottom of the screen it said natedaniels.com, so I thought I would check it out. Since Nate's other short films are fairly long I didn't get around to watching them, especially after watching a 27-minute video of him giving a message at a (Michigan State) Campus Crusade meeting. (It's called "Jesus Was My Homeboy" and very good if you want to check it out).

 

Anyhow, it's neat because it's so obvious that he wants to reflect Christ in His work, even if he doesn't actually mention Him. And it was cool because by the time I was finished watching the video, I actually wondered if the guy who made it was a Christian. And sure enough, he was. Anyhow, I didn't dive too deep into his personal life, but he's working somewhere in California and he was quite excited about it.

 

That's the way I want to be though. I want to reflect God, not just in my videos, but in everything. I haven't been pursuing Him as I ought lately, but I feel I am slowly but surely making my way back to Him. Last night I was thinking, and then the "homeboy" video brought this again to my mind, about how comfortable I am with my relationship with Christ. Not only am I not passionate about Him very often anymore, but I'm not in awe of Him. Nate mentioned in the message that when he has thought of Jesus as being his homeboy, instead of his master and King. I think we all forget, and I know I do, about His glory and majesty. You and I forget about how powerful and mighty and yet loving and merciful He is. We forget that He died for me to save us. He died to save me!

 

After 14 years of being a Christian and about 7 years of a serious walk with Him, I've become complacent... but I don't want to live that way. I don't want to live a life feeling defeated. And I'm not supposed to. And I know I don't have to. 

So today was pretty sad...so i though takeing some pictures outside might cheer me up. Here are some of my favorites...

Life might not be the party we had hoped forBUTwhile we’re here we might as well dance
Some Men Dream Of Worthy Accomplishments...Others Stay Awake And Make Them Happen
Clear Eyes ~ Full Heat ~ Can’t Lose
Never Fear Shadows... They Simply Mean There’s A Light Shining Nearby
Dreams Driven By Hope Empowered By Love, Change Us Forever
I Love You Buddy....We’re Gona Make It....Daddy Knows The Way Home.....
If you can’t CONVINCE them, CONFUSE them
                                            BELIEVE

Remember the Smiles not the Frowns.....

Remember the Joy not the Tears.....

Remember the Kindness not the Mistakes.....

                       Forgive & Forget

i have gone and screwed up yet another friendship so it seems.  and it was one that meant more to me than anything but i sure didn't act like it.  it was all because of a stupid prank stupid me wanted to pull...gosh.  i feel so stupid and now i've got the one person that means a whole lot to me mad and i don't know what to do except wait it out and apologize and pray real hard that this won't totally mess things up.  i've lost someones trust and i've gotten my heart broken all in about a matter of 5 minutes.  part of me is mad (that part is not very big) another part is hurt (that part is extrememely huge) and another is so mad at herself that she can't think straight and all she wants is to fix things or go back in time to before all this crap and change it all!  because i hate this and i am sick of living in it; not being able to think or anything...

i can remember when i used to LOVE these guys.  I had posters, every album...all of it!!!  I thought some of you might get a laugh out of this!  aww they're so cute and young and...kinda fruity looking but anyway!  I know like every song...still!  kinda sad, huh?  it's the same way with nsync.  that's what the 90's will do to you i guess.  maybe i'll put one of their vids on here later...lol!

it has been a while my human friends. life for me has been pretty great.

 

i go to the park and even have made a new friend, baby cat... well that is what i call him. well, that is it! have a great night! 

 

 

i am very upset.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was all so crystal clear, words like music in my ear...we had it goin' on, but something's wrong...something's changed

Cuz when I'm with you these days, you feel a million miles away, connection's not so strong, what's goin' on?  What's going on???  Cuz every time I try to talk to you, I end up feeling so confused...like you can't hear a word I'm saying...when I try to get close to you, I'm having trouble getting through, I can't stand it, it's so tragic, I feel static between us.

You turn your back then you take my hand, It's getting hard to understand...is it you, or is it me?  Is it time or space you need?  When you're here, you're not around...communication breaking down!  If I say goodbye to you, will that get through?  Will that get through???  Cuz Every time i try to talk to you...I end up feeling so confused, like you can't hear a word I'm saying...when I try to get close to you, I'm having trouble getting through.  I can't stand it, it's so tragic...I feel static between us.

====================================

so, this has been my life since wednesday.  i'm really confused and...well that's about it.  So yeah.  um...how are ya'll?  Sorry this is kinda depressing but about the only thing i've done that's been interesting was the going-away thing and working in nursery today.  and that's all.  yeah i know...boring.  well...yeah 

photo from 

A lot of things have been running through my mind lately.  A lot of things.  In fact, you could almost say that this week's been sorta depressing just due to all my concerns.  I am excited about getting back to school; but, the closer the thought comes to being a reality, the more my residual fears creep back to haunt whatever it is I'm doing.  I just have a lot of anxiety...and a lot--you guessed it--of Why God?'s.  It never fails: one good moment tossed away into oblivion by the casual thought or fantasy, whether actually good or bad.  But I'm trying.  Those times in Appointed lying face down on the floor in the presence of God help.

 

I hope to someday understand God like those men of the Bible like Enoch, Elijah, Moses, and David...and Jesus, of course.  I want to attain that level of faith.  Right now, I'm stuck on old things, not even bad things, just old.  I want to know what things will carry on and what won't, as well as why.  Why God do I have still have these feelings?  Why God can I just let it go?  What do I focus on God?  I need Your help and Your wisdom to guide me.

 

BTW, Randy, that part of the poem means something a little differently than what it seems to say. 

So I have 2 more days left in Tennessee. Im not looking forward to moving at all and most of you know that. It is what i tell everyone yet everyone askes me the same question every time they see me. They always say. Call me up when you have a new Hawaiian girlfriend. I am just like whats so great about Hawaiians. Heck i think i love my Tennessean girl good enough and I see no reason to give up on her. Shes the best. I have committed 2 years of my life to her and I think i like her pretty dang Good.

Thats all I have to say  

Hey My Favorite People (well my only people)
So you might be wondering why i put Sweet *** Tarts on here.....well i was thinking about it and Sweet *** Tarts are Bitter~Sweet, right? Well i was just thinking about some stuff and pretty much everything happening is SO Bitter~Sweet. Sad but Happy. Jealous but _____ (whats a word for not being Jealous?) well whatever that word is...put it in that blank. Crying but Laughing. You get the picture. * I know this is way off the whole Bitter~Sweet thing, but i think i know what i really want to do. I want to go into the photography. I love captioning moments. Ha i'm weird i know!! But i LOVE taking pictures!!! * Well i better be going. Thanks for listening

~Bitter***Sweet

yesterday i hiked mt. leconte- exhausting! amazing! today we went to dollywood. i rode mystery mine- accomplishment for me. then one of our guys accidentally hit the curb in the van and blew a tire. interesting- i want to go horseback riding so bad- it's about all that would help me clear my head right now... don't like the new phusebox.  

I'm still alive and around. I started working at Easter Seals Disability Services full time as a camp counselor in mid-May, and I haven't really stopped since minus the vacation time we all got. This job is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also the most rewarding. I learn something new every single day. I start work at 12:20 on Sundays and I don't get off work until about 12 on Fridays. That sounds like an exaggeration, but I promise it's not. We are on call 24/7. We can't even leave camp grounds at night.

The weeks have gone like this.

1. Adults w/developmental disabilities

2. Autism week

3. Adults w/physical disabilities

4. Performing Arts Camp

5. Children with Developemental

and there are 2 more weeks left.

Week one was pretty hard, but this past week proved to be the hardest. In fact, it was one of the hardest weeks not just at camp, but of my life. I had a camper with 2 very different disabilities, that caused for a lot of problems. I had to work through some serious behavior management issues including phsycial violence towards me, herself and other campers. I stayed up almost all night one night with her, and then went through the rest of the next day on one hour of sleep. And while taking care of her, I took care of my other camper and several others of my co-worker's.

 

To say the least it was extremely hard, but every week has it's difficulties. Yet I've enjoyed almost every single moment I've been there. There are moments I want to quit, but in the end something happens that reminds why I'm there and why I'm doing what I'm doing.

 

My co-workers are some of the best people I've ever met. We're all so different, and yet we work amazingly well together. We truly are a family, and despite our disagreements or differences we'll come together and do what's necessary at the drop of a hat because we realize we're all a part of something so much bigger than ourselves.  And at the end of every week, we walk away realizing that no matter how many obstacles we ran into, no matter how many incident reports we filed, no matter how many late/all nighters we pulled, we had the privilege of being a part of something meaningful and beautiful. You can't walk away with a feeling better than that.

 

So on that note, I have to ask for prayer. For my co-workers and my boss, but also for me. This week I managed to be come down with a respiratory infection and be bit by a black widow spider. I'm exhausted and sick, and with these next two weeks ahead of me I need some serious strength right now. Prayer would be so very much appreciated!

I hope everyone's summer is going as great as mine! If you haven't told me how it's going already, let me know!

All you who tease me
Never once think to please me,
But maybe that's the problem.
I'm Fatuously romantic,
A rotunda, great hall of emptiness,
Lost hopes and dreams.
That other person beside
My pillow, arms around me,
Give me a reason to sing.
I don't care about "God's will";
I just need someone to touch me,
And be honest and clear.
Let me know your intention,
Innocence fragile bloom.

We're all doomed to attraction,
But what about loneliness attrition?
I don't need your sex.
I just want your wanting to be with me.

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A MISSION TRIP W/ MY YOUTH GROUP! AND IT WAS AMAZING! WE HAD THE BEST TIME OF OUR LIVES! AND WERE SPREADING THE GOSPEL AT THE SAME TIME! IT WAS AWESOME THINKING BOUT OTHER PEOPLE THEN YOUR SELF JUST B/C YOU CAN SEE WAT GOD DOES THAT IS SOO AMAZING! I AM SOO HAPPY B/C ALL THE GURLS GOT SOO CLOSE! AND WE KNOW THAT NICK AND COURTNEY ARE RIGHT FOR OUR CHURCH!BUT TODAY WAS THE BEST! WE WENT WHITE WATER RAFTING! IT WAS AWESOME!
LOVE YOU ALL!

Do or do not, there is no try. 
photo from austincaresnotI guess it is time to apply this to my life.   

<HTML><SUB>I cant use HTML in thoughts. this inhales with significant force</SUB></HTML>

To everything

(Turn, turn, turn)

There is a season

(Turn, turn, turn)

 

And a time

for every purpose

under heaven

---

So, things move on. ...Part of me feels like I value forgiveness even more. It happens, ya know, when you really screw up or when someone is really hurt on account of you... and you keep coming back, trying to make things right. It is futher emphasized when she is still hurt from something that happened over 7 months ago.

 

"Meh. Things will get better," I say to myself. I guess that is my hope (or delusion) when I know I have little control of the situation. Anyway, I built a computer (old parts from 2 or 3 of my nine computers I own), and it is running a server with  Apache with support for MySQL, PHP, FTP, and other fun stuph. Included in this bundle is a pretty forum. Will I use it? Meh, doubt it. But it is still cool nonetheless. Information technology... I wonder if I should add that to the list of things I want to study (again)? Expensive. Nevermind.

Why do people commit suicide?




Why do people cut themselves?



Why do girls become Anerexic and Belimec?



Why do kids bring guns to school?

Why do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?



Why do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?



IN the Bill Of Rights, It says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves?



I KNOW WHY

Cliques

We live in a world where if your not skinny, not beautiful, not sexy, not straight...ur tortured, abused and humiliated. we say that we are all equal but there is still racism, sexism, and people judging others based on there religion, color, size, heritage, ect...


IS THIS AMERICAN?



IS THIS THE NATION WE LIVE IN AND FIGHT WARS TO SUPPORT?



I AM SICK OF IT! Steriotypes, and everything else.
I want to live in a good place.
Without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGEMENT!



Help the madness.Is this what soilders are protecting? If i only reached out to 1 or 2 people thats fine. at least MY concience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?

i am so glad to be back from kids camp. =]

although i know i'm gonna miss it..

it was a lot of fun, and i got to know the kids better.

but the best part was the kids grew closer to god.

and i loved it.

 

 

 

but i'm definitely exhausted..

hah. time for a nap.  

exactly.

Hmmm you think about that.

...doesn't scare me as much as it did before orientation.  Actually, except for leaving my friends and family, I am really, really excited about starting at OSU this fall!  It will be crazy to be part of something so big and well-known, a major jump from Siegel High School, but I think I'm ready.  I have  good schedule, too:

 

English H202: British Literature.  M/W  1:30-3:18
Humanities H100: Humanities Survey.  M/W/F  8:30-9:18

Linguistics H202: Intro to Language in the Humanities.  T/TH  1:30-3:18

Math 150: Pre-calculus.  M/W/F  10:30-11:18; T/TH 9:30-10:18

 

 

I'm pretty sure being a Buckeye is going to be awesome.  :)

"Hey There Delilah"

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Mark the things that you have:
[x] A mom
[x] A dad *I suppose*
[x] Stepmom *my dads getting Remarried so i suppose i would have a Stepmom but i will never speak to her! *
[] Stepdad
[] A younger brother
[] A younger sister
[x] An older brotherS
[x] An older sisterS
[x] Grandfather
*but they are my dads parents and i dont speak to them*
[x] Grandmother
[X] Cousins
[] Half-brother
[] Half-sister
[] Stepbrother
[] Stepsister
[] Brother-in-law
[] Sister-in-law
[] Niece
[] Nephew

1. Are you a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s?
90's BABY

2. Where were you born?

TN Born and raised baby :P a pure Tennessean

3. What city did you grow up in?
Fairvew

4. did you have a good childhood?

 a GREAT Childhood...not so good when i hit 2005

 

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

a horse trainer and in the FBI

 

6. What do you want to be now?

 a better person

 

7. Name the first memorable vacation you took as a kid?
-we only went to FL every year so....i guess going to FL

 

8. What was your first best friend’s name?
-Will Turner

 

9. Are they still your friend?
-Uhmmm yeah we only see each other sometimes but yeah we are still friends

10. Can you name all the schools you ever attended?
-Well i went to my Kitchen, THEN the living room, THEN my room, and NOW I'm back to the kitchen

 

11. Were you closer to your mom or dad as a kid?
-my mom..kinda

 

12. What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?
-i have NO idea

 

13. How old were you when u first heard of chuck norris?
-lol like 10

 

14. Are you scared of anything?
-losing more people i care about

15. How old were you when you wanted to get your ears pierced for the 2nd time?
- never, i have never wanted to get them pierced ( weird i know ) 

 

16. Did you buy school lunch or bring your own?
-OH you know my mom making me buy my lunch

17. Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
-craZy enough, i haven't really broken any bones :P

 

18. Were you a mean kid?
-Nope, i was nice

 

19. Favorite board game of all of time?
-CLUE all the way..and Life 

20. Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero?
-Mostly Heros.... i always played with Seth when we were kids, and i cant see Seth playing house!! :P

 

21. What was your favorite class in elementary school?
-Math

 

22. Seriously, are you still just a kid at heart?
- HELLO, have you met me?? HECK YES

 

23. Did you ever come close to dying?
-YES, more then once

 

24. When you were little did you ever do drugs?

NO WAY! i didn't even know what drugs where tell i was 11 or 12

Sometimes I wonder what the rush is and why I cant be perfectly content with being single. I have friends and family and goals and God but I still feel like Im missing that intrical part of growing up. It seems high school romance is everyones dream but Its more than that... I want my Dawson Leery, my Troy Bolton, my Danny Zuko, my Johnny Castle, my Rick Blaine, my Cory Matthews. I want a soulmate. But is it possible that out of the millions of people that populate this world that we can actually find that one who is your true love. Or do we just eventually settle... when we know its too difficult to keep looking and keep feeling alone. One's  TRUE LOVE. A soulmate. A companion. Kindred Spirits. Is it possible? Or is it just another fantasy that Hollywood dreamed up to make us hopeless romantics spend the rest of our lives searching for the impossible that only happens on shows like Grease, Boy Meets World, and Dawson's Creek. Maybe it used to be possible but now there just arent any of those guys left. And those that are around want to be your "friend" or are taken advantage of by the Jen Lindley's of this world. Maybe Im just a typical teenage girl watching too much Dawson's Creek and dishing out just another dose of angst but I cant help but wonder where MY soulmate is... and if Ill ever find him. Because so far all Ive found are a bunch of jerks who cant see past the MTV and Hollywood standards that I dont meet and see that maybe Im an OK girl. Sure I mess up but in the end all I really want... is to be like Joey Potter and Topanga Lowrance and Sandy Olsson. Loved for who I am. I want to be a woman who is thought of as beautiful and smart and not just Meagan... trusty old friend. But maybe thats just who I am... the friend. One of the guys.

 

Meag

 I've been listening to the same song over and over and over. Three guesses as to what it is!! Oh please read the sarcasm in that...

 

Luke's here again, oh boy. He's been here for about two days and so far nothing's died. Granted there were a few explosions and flash fires and 2 a.m. cravings for chicken noodle soup, but nothing too serious. The chicken noodle soup was pretty good.

 

Cmaden went to Gatlinburg with Kellie, and the house has never been quieter. Oh sweet silence...

 

And now I've run out of things to say, goodness my life is boring nowadays. 

okay so guess what?...i can do it!  woo go me...i'm going to do this because i have set my mind to it and i've already overcome the first big obstacle...myself.  so i'm gonna do it

isnt nice to have that comfort that you have that one friend you can tell anything.. im just glad that i have really good friends.. that wont cause promblems and other stuff... yup im thankful..

 i love all my friends..lol

Mark the things that you have:
[x] A mom
[x] A dad
[ ] Stepmom
[] Stepdad
[x] A younger brother
[x] A younger sister
[ ] An older brother
[ ] An older sister
[x] Grandfather
[x] Grandmother
[X] Cousins
[ ] Half-brother
[] Half-sister
[] Stepbrother
[] Stepsister
[ ] Brother-in-law
[ ] Sister-in-law
[ ] Niece
[] Nephew

1. Are you a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s?
90's
2. Where were you born?

    Nashville
3. What city did you grow up in?
    Dickson, baby!!

4. did you have a good childhood?

    not as bad as some people's, but it wasn't pleasent.

 

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

a teacher, a paleontoligist, and an illustrator.

 

6. What do you want to be now

    not sure.....a Historian maybe.............

 

7. Name the first memorable vacation you took as a kid?
    DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!

 

8. What was your first best friend’s name?
    well, during Elem. skool i thought i had best friends, but, not really, so, Carmen.

 

9. Are they still your friend?
     thank goodness, yes.

10. Can you name all the schools you ever attended?
stuwert burns elementary, dickson elementary, and dms

 

11. Were you closer to your mom or dad as a kid?
     probably mom

 

12. What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?
     i don't remember

 

13. How old were you when u first heard of chuck norris?
     i'm gonna get killed for this one................like,13.

 

14. Are you scared of anything?
     yes, im scared of change.
15. How old were you when you wanted to get your ears pierced for the 2nd time?
     i don't wanna get them pierced again.

 

16. Did you buy school lunch or bring your own?

     bring in elementary skool, buy in middle.

17. Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
     I almost bit my tounge off as a baby.

 

18. Were you a mean kid?
     no, i was a lonely kid.

 

19. Favorite board game of all of time?
     OMG, The Game of LIFE!!!!!

20. Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero?
     I played house.

 

21. What was your favorite class in elementary school?
     I hated every part of elementary school.

 

22. Seriously, are you still just a kid at heart?
     heck, yes!!!!!

 

23. Did you ever come close to dying?
     not physically.

24. When you were little did you ever do drugs?

      um...no

Mark the things that you have:
[x] A mom
[x] A dad
[ ] Stepmom
[] Stepdad
[x] A younger brother
[] A younger sister
[ ] An older brother
[ ] An older sister
[x] Grandfather
[x] Grandmother
[X] Cousins
[ ] Half-brother
[] Half-sister
[] Stepbrother
[] Stepsister
[ ] Brother-in-law
[ ] Sister-in-law
[ ] Niece
[] Nephew

1. Are you a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s?
90's
2. Where were you born?
a hospital

3. What city did you grow up in?
dickson

4. did you have a good childhood?

i don't remember it so i can't answer this question

 

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

well...i wanted to be a lot of things but the 3 i mainly remember are a janitor (because i read a junie b jones book and she wanted to be a janitor...and i wanted to be junie b jones...so yeah) and a makeup artist (3rd grade) and then a singer which is still what i want to be 

 

6. What do you want to be now

um...a lot of things...a better person for one

 

7. Name the first memorable vacation you took as a kid?
canada

 

8. What was your first best friend’s name?
-Keri

 

9. Are they still your friend?
-yes they are

10. Can you name all the schools you ever attended?
oakmont elementary and dms

 

11. Were you closer to your mom or dad as a kid?
-i don't know

 

12. What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?
-probaby nsync or backstreet boys

 

13. How old were you when u first heard of chuck norris?
-very young

 

14. Are you scared of anything?
-yes i am scared of rejection 

15. How old were you when you wanted to get your ears pierced for the 2nd time?
- like 10

 

16. Did you buy school lunch or bring your own?
-both...

17. Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
-no not really

 

18. Were you a mean kid?
-sometimes

 

19. Favorite board game of all of time?
-probably clue 

20. Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero?
-wow...i definitely played both

 

21. What was your favorite class in elementary school?
-not math...never has been.  um probably art or music 

 

22. Seriously, are you still just a kid at heart?
-of course

 

23. Did you ever come close to dying?
-no i didn't...i don't think 

24. When you were little did you ever do drugs?

nope didn't do that either

Mark the things that you have:
[x] A mom
[x] A dad
[ ] Stepmom
[] Stepdad
[ ] A younger brother
[] A younger sister
[x] An older brother
[ x] An older sister
[ ] Grandfather
[] Grandmother
[X] Cousins
[ ] Half-brother
[] Half-sister
[] Stepbrother
[] Stepsister
[x ] Brother-in-law
[x ] Sister-in-law
[x] Niece
[] Nephew

1. Are you a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s?
90's

2. Where were you born?
Miami

3. What city did you grow up in?
Miami but mainly Dickson

4. did you have a good childhood?

 up untill now

 

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

in Kindergarden i wanted to be a cowboy 

 

6. What do you want to be now

 i was talking about it last night and i realy dont know

 

7. Name the first memorable vacation you took as a kid?
-Seaworld

 

8. What was your first best friend’s name?
-Cody Bybee

 

9. Are they still your friend?
-UHm no.

10. Can you name all the schools you ever attended?
-Discovery School and UCA

 

11. Were you closer to your mom or dad as a kid?
-i have been kinda close to both

 

12. What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?
-idk

 

13. How old were you when u first heard of chuck norris?
-lol i used to play walker texas ranger in churhc when i was like 5 ha ha ha

 

14. Are you scared of anything?
-Im afraid of whats going to happen in the next few years

15. How old were you when you wanted to get your ears pierced for the 2nd time?
-6. i never wanted my ears peirced

 

16. Did you buy school lunch or bring your own?
-BUY

17. Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
-yeah i have broken some bones

 

18. Were you a mean kid?
-i could be :) i was kind of a bully

 

19. Favorite board game of all of time?
-Shoots and Ladders

20. Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero?
-both :) i had a colorful imagination :P

 

21. What was your favorite class in elementary school?
-Recess :P

 

22. Seriously, are you still just a kid at heart?
-Heck yeah i am :P no doubt about that

 

23. Did you ever come close to dying?
-NOPE

24. When you were little did you ever do drugs?

naw

 

             FORGET IT..........

Well,kids!

i made it!!!

Easy enough !

 i got some stuff done , not as much as i would like to have though....

 Read 2 books (10 com. of dating, &measure of the heart)

      okay , you know how God gives you what you need b4 you even realize you need it? well, b4 church i had this unhappiness about someone , & i told erin & we decided i should just take a break  4rm them for a few days , dont call them up or nothing! we couldnt decide how 2 go about doing that & telling that person  ! & God was at work ..... he put the youth group lesson , and that challenge in front of me , so then i cant talk 2 them any possible way !!!!!yay!! .. anyways.

 

 tuesday i layed in bed most the day, wasnt feeling so great . i wasnt sick, just sorta not feelng too well..... just being a sissy!

 

  yeah & then i get on here , and i dont really feel to loved and all!! lol... its okay i totally understand! yall just needed a break from Elizabeth!

This is the last entery in my school journal:

 

5-23-07

Today is the last day of Literary Club and instead of the cake and fun that we were promised, we get to write. Joy. The ONE day I don't have a book on me...ug. I'm gonna miss Middle School so much. I don't deal well with change...I really don't think I can do High School. I'm so afraid that I'm gonna forget all the cool memories. I'm gonna write some down now and NEVER lose my journal.

 

1. Teach Me. There was a bookmark in Mrs. Redden's class about a student/teacher affair called Teach Me. So Me, Megan, Carmen,and everybody made a joke about it and went around saying "Teach Me" to each other and then replying "Teach you WHAT?" It finally got on Megan's nerves, but i didn't stop, so she printed out hundreds of tiny papers that all read "Teach Me" and put them in my bag. Sence then, they have been found on all 3 halls and by 7th graders. A huge pile found it's way into Teddy's binder, and he wasn't even in on the joke. Gen found on in her locker, as have i and Megan. There was one in my new purse. We also found one in Nashville. Really. No Joke. (SIDE NOTE: sence this entry was written, i have found Teach Me papers in numoruos places around my house, in my mom's car, and my church)They are possesed by evil, they follow you around and choose there victoms.

 

2. Fat Camp. So one day Teddy came up with this random Fat Camp thing. He said he was 800 pounds overweight and he needed help. Before he new it, 25 or so people were going to "Fat Camp" including  me, Jessica, and Carmen. We camp up with a slogan: "You are sadly overweight and need help, go to Fat Camp!" We  "went" to Fat Camp that weekend and on Monday discused our adventures, like getting fat-free jelly donuts on the bus and losing 350 pounds. We all made and wore signs saying "I survived Fat Camp!"

 

3.Moon Butt. At Jessica's party, a girl named Tylar had a pic. of some guy's butt on her phone (from a movie) and Megan said "Is that a butt!?!?" and Tylar said "No, It's a moon." Everybody laughed, but poor Meg didn't get it. She said "What? Moon Butt, Butt Moon...." We all laughed and somebody explained to her. We still don't leave her alone about it.

 

4.Yomamma. At lunch we talked about naming your child Yomamma. We came up with these sentences for the situation: "Guess who went potty today? Yomamma!" "Yomamma is the ugliest girl in school!" "Guess who I'mm taking to prom? Yomamma!" "You know who I saw making out with Tyron at the movies last night? Yomamma!" There are millions more.

 

5. Make the Honey. At my party we went to see Spiderman and they had a comersial for a movie about bees. The commersial said "Get the pollen. Make the honey. Get the nector. Make the honey." For some reason we found this hilarious and all throught the movie we said "Make the honey" at random moments. After that we pretty much said it all the time and even came up with an award-winning rap called "Make the Honey"

 

So that's my 8th grade year, prety much. If I wrote everything I'd kill all the trees everywhere. Bye Middle Skool! Now I'll never forget you.

 

 

 

 

 

Back to present day. i read that entry today and cried my eyes out. Can we do that again? Could anything ever compare with that year? Have we used up our fair share of funny? Will we live our lives saying "Remember in 8th grade when......."? And who is "we" now? All these are questions that I'm terrified of and that will soon, too soon really, be answered.

 

 

 

 

As many of you know, I did a documentary for my TV Production final project this last semester about a missionary to Haiti. A couple of my friends from TV Production were pretty impressed and moved by it and asked for a copy. One of these friends, Ryan, said that he would have the chance to create a similar video about his experience in the Dominican Republic.

 

Well I ran into Ryan today as I was leaving lunch and heading back to work. I asked him how his trip was, and he had a lot to say about how much it impacted him. It was really moving to me as I remembered interviewing Brent and what he had to say about the people living in Haiti. Ryan compared the Dominican to Haiti, expressing how terribly poor they both were, but how the people were so genuinely loving. I remembered again how spolied we are.

 

As I was about to leave work, a lady I work with was looking at a picture on her computer. It was attached to an e-mail sent to her by a former student worker in our office. The picture was of the view of the villa he was going to be staying at in the Dominican Republic... and it was beautiful. He was going to same country as Ryan had just a fee weeks before, but his experience there will be totally different. He's not going to see the poverty, the hunger, the devestation.

 

And then on my way home on the radio, they were talking about how Compassion International helps out impoverished children around the world. They were saying that probabaly over 80% of the world lives in sub-standard conditions. That's pretty mindblowing. And we get upset if we don't get a certain car, brand of clothing, etc. Heck, we get upset if McDonald's gets our order wrong. And yet, 80% of the people in this world don't even live in what we would call adequate conditions. How tragic.

 

How blessed I am. I may have a big dent in my car, but I have a car. I may have pigment dispersement syndrome, but I have surgery and eye doctors to prevent further problems that I would probably have without them. I may not always be happy with the way things are in America, but I am living in a country that thousands, maybe even millions, of other people would do most anything to be there. And I may not have those cute $78 flats from Dillard's, but I have shoes. I have all I need. As Brent told the others and me the day we shot for the documentary, some people don't even have shoes.

 

It's so easy to forget these things. I was only in the poor parts of Charleston a few weeks ago, and I have barely remembered to pray for those kids as I felt so inclined to do when I first left. Those kids aren't as bad off as those in Haiti or the Dominican Republic, but they are certainly far worse than any of you reading this right now. We get comfortable. We only see things from limited, selfish worldview... but there's so much more going on that is beyond us.  

 

last night.....or this morning........i went to the premire of the new Harry Potter movie!!!!! I really can't belive i stayed up for all of it!!! We left the Roxy at 2:30!!! Man, it was late................early. Anyway, it was so worth it!!! the movie was AWSOME.

Make your own Windorph

so i have a little bit of a dilemma...not a big one...a little one!  I was asked to sing special music a LONG time ago at my church.  They keep asking me because apparently they want me to sing...duh.  But I am never ready or not here or sick or something and now I've finally figured out what I want to do.  But...I don't want to do it by myself so I've gotta figure out someone to sing it with.  There's my dilemma.  Do I choose my mom and maybe ask Lane to do sign language or...(I'm not sure Lane would to this but...) ask Lane to sing with me and get someone else to do sign language or have no sign language...AAAH!!!  Oh, since we're on the subject...I want to sing 'I Surrender All'.  There's a version that a bluegrass group called the Isaacs does and it is SO beautiful.  Oh And I want to sing it a capella..(that means no music)...but I'm not sure If I can do that...but if this falls through then we start over with the "not here, sick, not ready" thing.  GRR.  I really want to sing for my church but something like this always happens.  Wow.  But It is so beautiful the way they sing it and I just LOVE it.  Yes, it's an old hymn but I think it can have the same power and effect as any other song.  I'm purty excited about youth group tonight..but I always am so that's nothin' new.  I don't want to read those two stupid books that I have to read for high school...but I have to read them!  So I guess I'll get to that...eventually.  Gosh I am a procrastinator.  Well...I guess I'll talk to you people later.  Or now...or whatever.

~carmen luvs austin~

p.s. hey austin make sure you bring your hat to youth group... :P

Hey My Fellow Amaricans!
Just thought i would say HEY ....... HOO (ha thats fun) Well thats not the reason i am posting this fine Wednesday morning. I am just posting to ask you fantastic people to please be praying for some of my friends. Theres just a lot going on with a bunch of my friends and its really hard to see them go through all these hardships while i'm going through my own. And i heard someone say once "People praying in unity is better then people praying alone" So i figure what could it hurt to ask you guys to be praying for my friends and me as well :) Thank You People Ever To Much!! *Heres some sayings i found and kinda liked! :P *


Theres Nothing In This World That Can Not Be......If You Believe


I Find Peace When I'm Confused,
I Find Hope When I'm Let Down,
Not In Me.....In You

Someone Once Told Me,
"Go Where Your Heart Is....You'll Never Be Lonely"

Went to the Doc, in case anyone cares. Iron levels are "much better," yet I have to be on iron for six months at least. Um... I thought "much better" would mean that I would soon be off these little green pills that make me nauseous. Oh well.

so;

i got married.

moved to hawaii.

 

 

email me.

myspace.

facebook.

because so far, i'm not getting a whole lot of feedback on this thing, which is fine because... this is just a good way for me to vent,  but anyways..

 

Some recent things going on in my life.

It's my first camp without my best friends going with me next week. I'm kind of nervous, but i think without my best friends though, i won't feel as limited and i'll open up more to make new friends. Definitely going in with a prayerful heart about that.

 

Also, i'm adding another name to the Invisible Children United Club list. I've decided to start a club at my church. No one knows yet, except my youth minister who is behind me 100% so, i'm sharing it all with my youth group tomorrow. And we're going to get a team together, plan events thoughout the whole year to raise money for the Invisible Children. I'll keep you updated on how things go. I think after i get the word out tomorrow, our first official meeting will be on Friday. so i tell you how it all goes. and what we plan out. Oh and if you could just really pray for that, that would be amazing. We're ready to change the world.

 

Anyways.

I'll ramble on later.

I haven't been sleeping well lately, so i'm going to try to get some sleep now.

 

byeee.

 

 

"Vehicular Feticide – O.C.G.A. 40-6-393.1 (or Feticide by Vehicle)

If a person causes the death of an unborn child while in the operation of his automobile, he may be guilty of vehicular feticide."

-from the Georgia Criminal Defense

 

Ok, so I have been researching for that script I started writing the other day, which involves a drunk driving causing the death of someone in a car wreck (which is called vehicular homicide). While reading up on that, I noticed the above, which is the crime known as vehicular feticide, which is causing the death of an unborn CHILD while driving. So I have to ask, how does one usually deemed a "fetus" suddenly become an unborn child?

 

If you murder a pregnant woman and the baby in the womb, that's two counts of murder. If you are recklessly driving, cause a wreck, and as a result kill an unborn baby, that's murder, and it wasn't even intentional. So how then can you say abortion is not murder? Now, if you want to say that the previous two cases are also not murder because your genuinely do not believe a fetus is a child (in which case you need to check up on your biology), then at least you're being consistent.

 

But if you agree with the laws of the land that killing a pregnant woman and her child equates to two murders, then you should be consistent and say abortion is murder. I know this a real touchy subject and people get all upset about these things, but I just want people to think. I know that we, as humans, want to make our own decisions and control our fates. But that's not the way it works.

 

The problem is that women want to justify abortion by calling it a "choice" and calling a baby a "fetus". And as a woman, I can understand how it would be tempting to thwart something that seems to be intruding on your plans for your life. But (aside from case of rape, which is a different argument for a different day) if you made the choice to have sex, that's a potential outcome. But as an adult, you should be prepared to handle that and live with that consequence. 

So I'm not much of a pop punk fan, what with bands like Fall Out Boy and Silverstein not being particularly creative or fastidious (especially with some of FOB's live shows).  That doesn't mean I can't appreciate the hot chick every now and then.  Paramore's lead woman Hayley Williams fits the bill in both aspects

 

"Gentlemen, behold!" 

 

 

This is done to the song Everything, By LifehouseIt reminds of Redeemed except cooler. : ) 

 

  well im doing beter.. im sorry to everyone who went to tylers party.. i couldnt make.. yall prob didnt relize i wasnt there.. lol but i had to do some stuff.. yup.. well hows everyone doing? im doing much better.. my ear infection is gone!! yay! but im scared to get back into the water..lol b/c my lttle brother had it now.. yeah well heres some stuff thats going on..

..... im changing my bedroom.. im moving w/ my little sis. yeah soo thats cool.

.... all the kids are changing..

.... had a physical done yestersay b/c we are adopting some more kids and we had to get one..

... i had to get three shots..

.. im getting glasses..

.... im the coolest kid ever..! lol

.... dont be jealous..lol

.... uhh we got a pug.. its name is major payne.. (the coolest movie) if you seen it.

 

yeah well i think that it.. doing much better to let everone know..lol

Yeah it kinda seems like every one is either sad or mad. I dont really find that to be the best thing. So I think that we should try and make the best of the time we have. Just enjoy life. Don't be a pain and everyone around you will have a fun time.

 

Thats all i have to say about that 

 

If your going through a rainy season. You can come under my umbrella. Even though it doesnt streach very wide. Thats ok. We will just have to get closer together.

 

Yeah i thought of this one on my own

i am so proud of myself 

Yeah so Harvey jumped into a very gross ditch puddle today in Laurall, Montana.  We are here on a Mission trip.  so yeah, enjoy

We're (meaning Mom, Camden,Robert, and myself) going to Michigan in about a week. Thank God we're not really flying, I hate planes.

 

That's really the only thing going on right now and technically thta's not even going on. I might be going to the Harry Potter movie tonight, where I might "accidentaly" bump into Leslie and the rest of my old friends. Muahaha.

 

But until then I'm not really doing anything. SOMEBODY CALL ME!!! I DON"T CARE WHO!!!