hey yall whats up well friday i went skateing till like 12 at nite then today i went from one to 12 it was sooo awesome but ya peace

JR!!

I could be the girl surrounded by people and still feel alone...Forever alone

See this?
This is a tear of misery
every night i cant hear your voice is a night of blurred confusion
I try so hard to let you know how i feel...
try so hard and freeze up like a broken robot
Programmed to fail
My wires are sparking with fury
and are about to light this nightmare to ashes
Forever meant to be forgotten
Is this what you wanted?
I have a sickness...
A sickness drawn to be a sucker for a sweet talker
a fake, a heart crusher.
There is no cure. It's contagious
Were all one for ourselves.
Lock me up, Take me away
Let these sirens sing me away
Sing me Softly goodnight...Goodnight

Why is it that we want certain things so badly sometimes?!?!? My whole life I couldn't just want something, I always had to justify it to someone. Now I find myself trying to justify why I want something and I can't. I just can't explain why this one particular thing seems to consume me. I know that it won't change my whole world or make everything better, I know there will still be problems so why do I want this so badly? I can't answer this.

Anyway, just needed to get all that out. To many it doesn't sound like a lot but its on my heart.

sometimes life's confusing.
&& no one understands you.
then again their is ONE person that understands all.


//you looked into my life
and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
are so simple but so b e a u t i f u l.
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak,
you let me know, i am understood.

you're the only one who understands
completely,
you're the only one who knows me yet still loves completely,
and sometimes the place i'm at is at a loss for words.

if i think of something worthy, i know that it's already yours
and through the times i've faded and you've outlined me again
you've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then//

Song describes how I feel. Gotta love TFK.

Everyone Like Me

I've got a lot going on inside
Don't know if I can work things out this time
Need a little space to clear my mind
But I'll be fine

Don't slip, it's not always this cold
I'm tired of acting like I know
Am I searching for the answers
No one knows

And I must confess
Before I take another step
That

This song's for everyone like me
Everyone not afraid to stand alone
And lonely
Can you identify with me?
This song's for everyone like you
Come and ride with me
We will not back down

Wait
It might not be too late
To avoid the tension we create
How about I turn and walk away?
No matter what you say

Its not a combination
I've tried to figure you out
I'm looking for the confirmation
So I can turn this around

And I must confess
Before I take another step
That

This song's for everyone like me
Everyone not afraid to stand alone
And lonely
Can you identify with me?
This song's for everyone like you
Come and ride with me
We will not back down

Every time I turn around
You're looking for attention
You've taken all the things I've said and
Throw them away
Drank them away
Every time you show up late
You're looking for forgiveness

I must confess
Before I take another step
That

This song's for anyone whoever took a chance,
Who started at the bottom to get to the top,
And no matter what you face in this life,
You gotta know what you're up against,
In order to fight back

This song's for everyone like me
Everyone not afraid to stand alone
And lonely
Can you identify with me?
This song's for everyone like you
Come and ride with me
We will not back down

This song's for everyone like me
Everyone not afraid to stand alone
And lonely
And lonely

Be not far from me for trouble is neaer and there is none to help. (Psalm 22: 11)

I just like it...God's there when you feel like there really is none to help, whether it be a physical circumstance or just  a low heart. He really is all we need. That doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong to want other things, just dont' want other things more than you need Him.

I've been kind of having a rough time with my roommate lately. I feel like there might as well be a wall in the middle of the room. It's sort of an awkward silence. I love her to death, but it seems like we never really talk anymore...we used to be so close.

I've done so many stupid things lately. Don't you hate when you do stuff that you know is really, really stupid...... *doh*  I'm asking that you guys pray for me...we all know I can always use it. . *smiles, hugs* I miss you M'boro pals....and I love you!

don't be stupid be a smarty come and join the nazi party!

 He is my hero

just got back from the movies with nelson
the producers is only the best movie ever.

love love love

abby

Here is an interesting article for your guys that are interested in number theory... It is called Benford's Law and it explains the dynamics and the phenomenon with the frequency of the number "1"... ok, so call me a dork.

{nt}

So today was....

-- Getting up at 6:00 and heading out the door at 7:00 for the SAT II Subject Tests in Literature and French.  And running into awesome-awesome GSH friend Devon MacDougall, who was also taking the SAT II!  Conviviality.  Am extremely relieved to learn that I did not in fact accidently sign up for 7 hours of testing (having been under the impression starting last night that the tests were 3.5 hours apiece).  One hour each is much more my deal.  Too bad we don't have a conventional conservative French class at Riverdale.  We can say 'beer gut,' 'lawn mower,' and 'squirrel,' but as far as verbs and such go.... Well.... Let's just say the French test ate my face, and leave it at that.

-- An immediate drive to Macbeth rehearsals, which last until 1:00.

-- An immediate drive to Bel Air rehearsals, from which I did not arrive home (ensuing events included) until 9:30.

Oh holy crap.  I'm ready to collapse.

My car still has streamers on it.  Let's hope it doesn't rain.  I rather like the streamers.  They're jaunty and they make noise.

<3

This is for Trent Ashcraft.  He wrote a beautiful Xanga just for me because I complained so much about him not updating.  Therefore, Trent deserves his own Phusebox entry.  Trent brightens my day everyday.  He creates sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day.  With his smile and love of Elton John (which he loves to play for TNL skits) he might be one of my favorite people in the whole world.  Trent's awesomeness is not even fathomable.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  I just want you to know, Trent, that my heart is full of love for you.  Now, I hope you have a great night and a wonderful day tomorrow.  Love You!!!!

i dont know what is so hard about letting go.  well, i do. its the attachment that you have to that thing that u are trying to let go of, but it doesnt make any since.  im trying so hard to let go of something, and it seems the harder i try, the more i like it.  and i dont see how that is possible. im not going to seperate myself from it, because that isnt to fair. but right now, things just kinda suck.  and i wish they didnt.  im blessed to being go through with all this stuff, but it still is crap.  im tired of wanting something, that is kinda already taken.  and ive also been wondering what is the difference?  that question is killing me inside, and i dont want it to. but it gets to me sooooooo bad.  just what is the difference? well... i dont know.  it just feels like im trying to let go of something that i still want, and it feels like it is impossible to let go.  and it pretty much is. 

so, i just had a really great time w/ Brady and Jackie ^^ we went to O' Charley's and then we went and saw Tristan & Isolde. it was pretty good. sweet, funny, violent lol we had fun making fun of it too lol but off to work i go ^^

"Despite my strong desire,
I started giving up.
I'd find it, release it, and sometimes
there were nights when I hurt myself.

If there were something I could give to you,
If there were something I could give to you,
It would be my unchanging, certain thoughts."
-Ayu (NEVER EVER)

I figured I would update. For those who read my xanga- this is the same entry.

Tuesday I got a call from the Navy Reserves and they told me if I join, it will most likely push my NROTC scholarship through. Friday I went to Nashville and did my physical, took the ASVAB, etc. I passed with flying colors, I just have to get medical clearance, and I'll probably swear in Monday or Tuesday. I'm really counting on the scholarship, I'm ready to go into the service, but I'd rather go in after college, I know God will take care of me. I know I'm doing the right thing.

My parents called my hotel friday, but I never did call them back. They opened my mail and I got a 32,000 scholarship (over 4 years) from Marquette. So that is definately where I'm going. Things are so stressful, yet so perfect at the same time. I love my life, I couldn't ask God for more.

"Life isn't about waiting for the Storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain."

Zukuchiri Lukishishikishi...

apparentky that is my name in Japanese lol. Nice and long huh?

(and for the record u can thank kyle for that translation.)

AIM me at bxrad2006 im bored and need to meet some new folks

hello there! i see you've managed to find my site! anywho...

yea, new phuse still tryin to figure things out...

leave messages!!

    I took the course yesterday and today, it was a blast!! I can now get a motorcycle endorsement thing on my liscence.... I have always liked things that thrill... including speed, but I have to be careful because sometimes that means I take risk... my parents used to hate that.. I like waterkiing, knee-boarding, wake-boarding, gallopping on horseback, jumping (horses), rollar coasters etc. etc... but yea this included all the safety stuff. I liked the  curves, and speed!

    Off topic.... have you ever found it strange how joyful you can still be even when you are sorrowful. I miss her. But God has done so much in my life. He has restored the joy, and now though I may mourn and cry, I have His joy. God is so good.

Time sure flies when your...well...time sure flies! Hamburger song...that was fun. lol...I am having a good day. Bowling this morning - 40 over my average, then 35 over my average, then 11 over my average. Good games...Good times... Oh man I can't get the whistle song, Fresh AZIMIZ, Lean wit it rock wit it, or (embarassingly) Breaking Free from the Disney Channel original movie...lol. That last one is because of my sister. Have a good night ya'll! Gotta go do family stuff.

-+JACOB+-

"For thousands of years followers of Jesus, like artists, have understood that we have to keep on going, exploring what it means to live in harmony with God and each other. The Christian faith tradition is filled with change and growth and transformation. Jeus took part in this process to rethink faith and the Bible and hope and love and everything else, and by inviting them into the endless process of working out how to live as God created us to live. . .
the challenge for Christians then is to live with great passion and conviction, remaining open and flexible, aware that this life is not the last painting. . ." -Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

Now then, we are apart of this tradition, a global herd of people who believe God has not left us alone but has been involved in human history and the individual lives of those around us. And as Rob Bell promotes in his book Velvet Elvis, I also, embrace the need to keep on painting... and by "painting" i dont intend on surfice changes like better lights and music, sharper and more animated graphics, or new methods of easy to follow steps or structural elements to building a church or steps to better the new born Christian to be "sent out" . . . to keep on painting is to keep on reforming because we dont everything perfect. the things we do many of times need to be revisited, rethought, and reworked... we must seek God and through seeking Him he will reveal the right way our faith is to be defined, lived, and explained.

What is your biggest fear?

People, do me, along with oil changers across America a favor: If an oil technician is motioning for you to turn your wheels to the left or right, do NOT continue keeping them straight! We're not trying to steer you into the pit, we're trying to keep you out of it. Gaaah, I don't know how many times I had to tell people to stop and back up because they wouldn't do like I motioned.

Business is back. We did 39 cars today. 30 of those were from 11:15-5:00. There were four of us there, and we didn't get to sit down until 4:20 to eat the pizza Taevan ordered three hours earlier. Ah. . . off till Wednesday. How nice.

I've ((more or less)) made a pretty big decision concerning my major. No, I'm not changing it, lol. I had planned on applying to the canidacy of Electronic Media Production spring '07; however, after seeing that the next EMC class I need to take requires two lecture periods and a one hour lab each week, I've decided to push applying back a semester. In doing this, I will take 16 hours of Gen. Eds. next semester, leaving just three more for Spring 2007. Along with that, I will take Sight Sight and Motion ((EMC)), Spanish-- I'll finally get to start on my minor-- and Black and White Photography. I'm giving myself more time and space, and it's so relieving to have that.

Welp. I guess that's it.

   I am going to Floridia this week! I cannot wait to get on the plane Wedensday! On Tuesday this week it's supposed to snow but I will be heading out for 79 degree weather!!! That's right be jealous! Wathc it rain the whole time I am there.

"Once upon a dream, we were lost in love's embrace.

There we found a perfect place, once uopn a dream.

Once upon a time, like no other time before

Hope was still an open door, Once opon a dream.

And I was unafraid, the dream was so exciting

But now I see it fade

And I am here alone.

Once upon a dream, you were heaven sent to me.

Was it never ment to be? Once upon a dream.

Could we begin again,

Once upon a dream?"

-Jekyll and Hyde the musical

That about sums it up.

Well I'm sick.  It got worse this morning.  I'm feelin pretty bad.  Starting to ache all over. Throat hurts pretty bad, so I can't eat or drink much.  Been sleeping most of the day.  Wow it sucks there isnt ANYTHING on TV anymore.  With football season being over there isnt NCAA games on saturday and then the superbowl is next week and then thats it.

Well, if I was feeling better, I'd be working on my car.  So if I'm better tommorrow thats where I'll be.  Maybe getting a new cell phone, just have to talk my mom into letting me get one.

well, life is wonderful and friends are amazing! 
i had a tournament this morning, and i will have it again tomorrow morning. i dont get to go to church and that makes me pretty frustrated. we didnt win any of our games today. it was a downer, BUT we did play together and we hung tough. we have one girl out for about a month with a stress fracture and another one is in the bahamas.. (dont you wish YOU were there?!) so i think all in all we did pretty well. it was our first tournament this year. i know tomorrow will be better, becuase now we know what to expect and what to fix.

i found a verse last night during my quiet time, though. it was really awesome, because i sort of have a "competitive" problem (nahhh.. not kaitlin! =] ). so when i found the verse, it reminded me that i have to be a leader. i cant get mad and blow my witness. i have to keep encouraging everyone, no matter if we ARE down 23-6... the verse was---
1st Corinthians 15:58
"So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthuasiastic about the Lord's work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is useless." ... pretty cool!

&& i will leave you with a picture...

"The most wasted of all days, is one without laughter"
-E. E. Cummings

edit..
our record for the tournament:
1/17 games
0/8 matches
... but God is good!
we played absolutely amazing!! we lost ANOTHER girl today! i dont know whats going on. it was the last point in our game against the hardest team. we had been playing amazing! i set our middle hitter. when she came down, she landed on another girls ankle and fell down screaming, imediately. they took her to the e.r. and she is out for 2-3 weeks with a pretty bad sprian. seemingly though, we pushed through with 6 out of our 9 players and won our first game the whole tournament. it was bad, but no one had a sour attitude-we played together and accomplished more than we thought we would. we can only get better, right?!

Do you ever think about your goals, plans, and hopes and in that realize that it might mean trying new things?  I'm trying to think of my plans, goals, hopes for this year, and I'm wondering--what new things do I want or need to do, or at least attempt?  I've tried piano, voice, dance...what now?  Any suggestions?  Maybe I should write a book this year.  I love to write.  I could so glorify God through my writing.  Maybe that would be just the thing to do!

Doctors,

They cost to much down here…….

 

 

Yeah, so everyone knows Dr. Pepper right?

 

 

Yeah sure you do. Great Doctor if I do say so myself. One of my favorites. Well anyways as we know Doctors can cost a lot, and everyone can’t afford “Dr.Pepper” even if he is the best. So what do we do, well I will tell you what we do, we go to his brother……….Dr. Thunder

 

 

The Doctor you can always get to. He doesn’t cost anywhere near what his brother Dr. Pepper does. But he’s not as good……

Well being down here in the islands, we don’t really have those Doctors. (and if you could find them there is no way you could afford them)But, its ok for those of you worrying about me right now……because I have found someone who can cur my sickness it’s there LONG LOST COUIN…….

 

 

 

It’s Dr. Skipper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is so much better, I can get six appointments for only one dollar!!!!! He is highly favored among the Hawaii-boys  

Ok so this was pretty much the worst post I have ever done. But when I saw this Dr. Skipper can…….O I lost it. so sorry if ya’ll didn’t get the same thing out of it as I did but I thought I was funny!

-Hodge

A-ki
B- zu
C- mi
D- te
E- ku
F- lu
G- ji
H- ri
I- ki
J- zu
K- me
L- ta
M- rin
N- to
O- mo
P- no
Q- ke
R- shi
S- ari
T- chi
U- do
V- ru
W- mei
X- na
Y- fu
Z- zi

MY NAME IN JAPANESE: Mefutaku Rikifukuari

tengo bastante que decir, y no quiero que nadie me entienda. estoy cansado de ser algo que no soy. de aora en adelante, yo no voy a ser la persona que todo el mundo quiere que yo sea.ES HORA DE SER YO MISMO.

guys, no one knows what that says, so i'll clue u in. from now on, i'm gonna be myself and no one else. i'm sick of feeling like a phony.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with those adipose sheepy sheeps

ADIPOSE SHEEPY SHEEPS

          Well there is not much to say coming from me. I've grown a little older and matured a bit I suppose.

I'm sorry I don't have much time to write in here. I have been busy with family and friends a lot lately. I guess I finally have a life outside of the cyber world and I have empathy for those who are still on here constantly.

It'll be 1 year soon that I will have been in love and together with the same girl. I have put time to the test, and it still has not brought me down..I love you Dani..

Max

diggity dang. life moves so fast.

being with mi familia this weekend showed how much things change. my family didn't know who i was...that's what 2 years of not seeing people does. just sitting watching things happen doesn't tell you how fast time moves. it amazes me. in 10 years...i can't even invision what i'll be doing. woah. it's just crazy to me.

all i know is...all i talked about to my family was my friends. i realized how much of an impact ALL of my friends make on my life. most def.

LOVE/ Britt

P.S.  Update on the tattoo.  It's no longer just the tombstone.  It has evolved into a full-blown sleeve with all the major characters in it on a gray wash outline of the town.  This is going to be freaking awesome and I'm going to get a winged heartagram on the back of my left hand.

so... i worked last nite... on my way home this morning, i just wanted to do something you kno? just something. so i called my mom but she said she wasn't ready to go do anything so i came home and after a few hours, i transformed into this lazy monster... my lack of sleep is setting in...

itz like there's so much i wanna do.
and so much i need to do.
and it seems like i can't do anything... *shrugs*

"We've arrived in these times.
But somehow things move on
So somehow we're standing here
and we're living through today."
-Ayu (evolution)

So work was hell last night.  From 4:30 to about 9 something we were in constant motion.  No break.  No rest.  There was over 120 Krystals on the screen at once.  I made 48 Krystals in 3 minutes.  (I timed myself).  I got to take that hat back today and then I'm going to see Jen at work.  I would like her to go see Underworld with me but she has to work all weekend.  I wish that my teachers' would stop marking me absent.  I was actually at school yesterday but still they called my house and said I wasn't.  I was pissed when my grandmother woke me up with that at 8 this morning.  I bought the best movie in the world on Thursday.  "The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat".  It's from the 70's.  It's about a cat who hates his life and escapes it by smoking "cat-nip" and revisiting his other nine lives.  I used to watch it when I was a kid all the time.  I might go buy Labyrinth, Joe's Apartment and Rocky Horror Picture Show today too.  It depends.  I am so tired....  And my grand mother actually suggested I go in to work today........

"Staring At The Sun"

Maybe life is like a ride on a freeway
Dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way
Everyone's around but no one does a damn thing
It brings me down, but I won't let them

If I seem bleak, well you'd be correct
And if I don't speak, it's cause I get disconnected
But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes

As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun
As you're staring at the sun

When I ran I didn't feel like a runaway
When I escaped I didn't feel like I got away
There's more to living than only surviving
Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying

Though you hear me, I don't think that you relate
My will is something that you can't confiscate
So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes

As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)

When I ran I didn't feel like a runaway
When I escaped I didn't feel like I got away
There's more to living than only surviving
Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying

Though you hear me, I don't think that you relate
My will is something that you can't confiscate
So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated
By destruction in your eyes

As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)

Maybe life is like a ride on a freeway
Dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way
Everyone's around but no one does a damn thing
It brings me down, but I won't let them

If I seem bleak, well you'd be correct
And if I don't speak, it's cause I get disconnected
But I won't be burned by the reflection
Of the fire in your eyes

As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun (oh whoa oh oh)
As you're staring at the sun
As you're staring at the sun

"Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"

Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly
For a white guy.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today.
Our subject isn't cool,
But he fakes it anyway.
He may not have a clue;
And he may not have style.
But everything he lacks
Well he makes up in denial.

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.
For you no way, for you no way.
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.
The world needs wannabe's.
So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing.

Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly
For a white guy.

He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice.
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice.
Now cruising in his Pinto, he sees homies as he pass.
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass.

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.
For you no way, for you no way.
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.
The world loves wannabe's.
So (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing

Now he's getting a tattoo.
Yeah he's gettin' ink done.
He asked for a '13', but they drew a '31'.
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's not quite hip.
But in his own mind
He's the, he's the dopest trip.

Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Give it to me baby. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway.
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real.
For you no way, for you no way.
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate.
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake.
The world needs wannabe's.
Oh the world loves wannabe's.
So let's get some more wannabe's.
And (Hey! Hey!) do that brand new thing.

"She's Got Issues"

I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel abandoned
If I don't stay over late
And I know she's afraid to commit
But it's only our second date

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She says she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind
But when she calls out his name in bed
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone
But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me
My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay

If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

wow, nothing has reeli happened to me lately, except for last nite and ther was another stink bug in my purse, o ya i never sed nething bout the first one, did i? well it all started wen my parents wer goin somewhere for a convention or soemthing and so i had a house sitter, for me a my lil bro, and so her name is kayla btw, umm but the first morning she was there, we woke up and she went downstairs to take out my dog and she forgot to turn the alarm off so wen she came back in, it was goin off and she was panacking and she put in the wrong code so it kept goin off and then she ran upstairs to get me and by then, the actual alarm tha calls the police and tha people can hear from outside was goin off and i told her wat it was so she finally got it turned off but at 6 am, the police arrived, shining their flashlights thru our windows, and at first we didn't kno who it was but they rang our doorbell and we told them our story and it was all good but then i was about to go eat breakfast but i wanted to get soemthing out of my purse, and ther was a brown furry spider about half the size of a tarantual! and i thot it was fake, but it was reel! and i was freaking out! so i called my brother in and him being the brave 12 year old he is, smashed it w/ a shoe, well actually, he budged it a lil to c if it wud move, like to see if it was reel, and it started crawling so he smashed it on the tile, and thru it in the toilet and flushed it, so i was like wat kind of bug was that?!?! and he was like i dono but i think it was a stink bug! cuz it smells reeli bad, and our whole house smelled like a dead, rotten bug, it was gross, but luckily wen we came home, it didn't smell bad anymore, but i was terrified!

well last nite, (i hadn't used my purse for since tha incident) but i was cleaning my room and ther was my purse, and i was deciding whether to touch it or not, cuz ew i hate bugs/ spiders/ insects/ ew, but i was about to wen i saw another spider! omgosh, it looked just like the other one so i jumped back, and screamed for my dad who thot i was a sissy so he told me to get rid of it myself but i called for my mom and being the brave mother she is, took it into the bathroom and also flushed it down the toilet but this one was dead cuz it didn't move at all wen she emptied it at of my purse, which is weird, cuz it wasn't smooshed or anything, but anyways, thas my gross terrifying stories of spiders, EW!

well...another friday has come and gone and i stayed up till about 2:45ish watching movies with a couple of my friends.and we went to Starbucks (of course).

i'm actually just starting to feel tired and thinking about all the lovely homework i have to do is not helping.

Hey,

 Umm...I just got this and it's gonna take me a while to get used to doing this. It's way different from xanga. Have a great weekend. ttyl

     Kayleigh Mychelle

ok so there is a little game on tuesday between these two schools and lets not let it get out of hand like it did last time!!!

so last night was great. after i left the game. at the game, ugh...people make me sad. pretty sure i have no faith left in some of my classmates. i shouldn't be scared to go to a basketball game. good gracious. but, at least some of my friends were there. i ended up sitting with sarah, katie, and keisha (sp?), because i couldn't wedge myself in with the sophomores, plus i think they all hate me anyways. some random guy won homecoming. w/e. that guy, Craig Hutto, (shark attack victim) was there last night. he was awfully gorgeous. I think Keisha wanted to have his children. nayways, roundabout half-time, i left for Starbucks w/ Katie n Sarah...muchos fun. all i can say is that you haven't really lived until you've sipped a frappucino through 6 straws...'twas much fun. nayways, i think maybe i don't like the person i thought i liked. which is all for the better. i'm thinkin maybe i just won't ever date in high school...might do me good. oh well. the play so stinkin soon...ergh. it's gonna be fun though. i think i love my character...ok so now i'm rambling. much love to you all. ---cari

Guess Who's Going to College!

I came home last night around 12:30 and there was a letter sitting on my dresser! 

I GOT IN TO MTSU !

Well yall i gotta go to work today!

Bye

AND THE PICKLES??? CHICKEN TENDERS!!!! LOL!!!

"you don't want to go for a ride, do you? We could get out of the palace . . . see the world."

"is it safe?"

"sure, do you trust me?"

"what?"

"do you trust me?"

If you could say one thing to an apathetic christian, what would it be?

Hey guys! Wow...what a week..I got through it and boy am I glad!

So I was thinking a lot today about choices we make...we have some small choices and some big...some could ruin everything you've worked for and some could be as small as whether or not to tie your shoes. I dont know but I was thinking and it occured to me that while a decision you have to make may seem small to you, in the long run it may not really be that small. As a Christian it is so important to keep your testimony and to make the right choices so that nobody will look at you and say..."hmm she must just be like all the rest of the people." I mean, as Christians we should please God and praise Him in all we do. The choice you make to go to that party or just say "yes" to that one guy could not only make you feel guilty but could ruin your testimony. That is so huge...I dont know..Ive just thought about my friends today and some of them have just gone down the wrong path...gotten into things that they dont need to be in...and that brings tears to my eyes. Some of the people I thought would never start drinking or partying started to and I just cant figure out what happened. Sorry...soap box...Ive just been disappointed today which led me to a lot of thinking...just be wise in each choice you make...it could effect everything in your life...especially your testimony.

I hope all of you have had a great week. God bless.

Andrea

"Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." -Philippians 3:17-21

I love these guys!

So how about i have the greatest friends in the entire world!!  me ben john and garrett just had a pancake eating contest at ihop. it was amazing we just talked about all kinds of really random stuff so it was cool!  but this girl kept giving us dirty looks when ever we would talk about anything MANLY(farting, burping, etc.)  it was really funny and then john hit ben in the stomac and he threwup!  it was harilous!!  i wish everyone could have been there and seen it! but oh well im spending the night at ben's house and i have to be at work an 7 in the mornig!!  WhoooooHoooooo!!!  well see you around!

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. -Romans 5:5



The Lord has truley blessed me with things I cannot fathom. The numerous of opportunities he has allowed me to experience Him in different ways have been absolutely amazing, especially now that I can look back from this past semester. I look forward to this semester as God continues to work through the lives of others and in myself. He has a good and beautiful plan for me, and despite the trials and temptations that are in His good plan He will be glorified and magnified for what He has instore. "So great is His unfailing love... His love endures forever!"
-John Dunahoo

I was watching tv tonight just taking it easy of this friday night and there was a scene where they were on the beach of the Pacific Ocean and it made me think of two summers ago when I finally saw the world from the Pacific side.

I just remember driving down the coastline from San Franciso to San Diego just waiting to get my chance to put my feet in the "dark" sand for once. We finally reached San Diego and met with Billy's aunt on Mission Beach and there she was: big, blue, and most importantly; waves. I sat there for what seemed like an afternoon just watching the waves consistenly move in, this time from left to right.

There are moments in our lives that we never forget, things that are most beloved memories and those that are our worst. But we most remember that they are ours, they are colors and contrast of our lives that make us who we are. My first kiss, my first time drunk, my first coaster, where I was the first time I heard a Zeppelin song, the first time I fell in love and the first time my heart got broken. My first car wreck, the first time I saw the statue of liberty, the time I saw Ground Zero in New York, my first time breaking 100 mph on a coaster, the first time I saw the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, the time I saw the sun rise in Monument Valley, running up the stairs in Philly just where Rocky did it, sky diving, almost getting a tattoo, hearing Buffett for the first time, hearing Jack for the first time, seeing my grandfather in the hospital and almost fainting, and taking the biggest risks of my life...

These moments don't define who I am necessairly, they are just the pages of my life. I take what I want from each of these, but I always remember to atleast take something from them. If anyone has a top five or more for that matter send them to me. It's always a great thing to see what memories matter in people's lives.

So, Today was good. A little swing dance, a little guitar, and alot of fun times with pals from RHS. Tailgating on my truck was nice, specially with the hord of jones colas we got from the Kroger near Cason Lane.. Gooddd timesss.

here is  a little song i wrote... ( * clears throat*)

A B C D E F G  gummy bears are chasing me. one is red and one is blue the yellow one stole my shoe. A B C D E F G gummy bears are chasing me!

yes i know it's wonderful right. lol

k well i'll do another entry thing tom i guess. kristin is @ my house!

Hello World.
My name is Adam.
I hope I did you good today.
And thank you for oxygen.
Cause without it, we'd all die.
Yep.

sooo....morgan dyed my hair and it looks black....but it should fade a little...ill put up pictures later, maybe

HELL YEAH, TURN IT UP, RIDE ON.  HELL YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.  Sing that song. Guitar man playin all night long, take me back to where the music hit me.  Life was good, love was easy.

awesome song.  Nothing new to post today.  Nothing happenin.

Ya I'm pretty new to phusebox I just started today so if ya'll can tell about anything you know thad be pretty umm good....

So my day was pretty normal. People tryin to be me and getting in my way but it's ok they just love me... Just kidding I'm not that conceited...

so i got a question..
 lets suppose you are cleaning your parents bathroom, listening to your ipod. you have no idea that your older brother is randomly home. you exit the bathroom holding a bottle of windex. he jumps out and screams. in fright you scream and drop the windex unknowlingly. you tackle your brother. throw him on the bed. beat him and yell alot. you then go eat supper with your brother and family. come back to the bathroom. see the windex on the carpet. pick it up. and realize it has leaked all over parent's bedroom carpet. you soaked it up w/ a towel and put resolve carpet cleaner on it. however the next day you realize there is this big dull blue spot on the carpet.

so.. would this be your fault? or your brother's?

my mom hasn't notice yet somehow. but its just looming there waiting for her to discover it. this won't be pretty.

on another note.
i asked someone to formal!
it took a heck of a lot of deliberation.
as i went back and forth on several guys.
got super close to asking like 3 other people.
but my final choice was a mcfadden alumnus, tucker netherton!
i figure its a good choice
since i will probably spend the entire night
with other mcfadden alumni, kelsey and josh.

i think i'm going dress shopping tomorrow. ugh. not exactly my thing.

one final note.
kacie brewer rocks!
she saved my butt today through chips, salsa and the buddy system.
no need for explanation.

have a good weekend!

I am so happy right now Aaron and I just when on our first date and it was cool That is like the first Date I have been on My mom said I can go to the military Ball so I am happy about that she said I can go as long as she does not have to pay for it so I am going to. Well I need to go to bed but I am to excited to go right now I wish that isa could later longer than it did but I am happy about one thing I worked up the nerve to hold his hand while we were at the movies so I did good I was so freakin nervous my hand was shaking but I did it

SAT II Subject Test tomorrow.

Two of them, actually.

French.
Literature.
They better not spring me with French Literature.

I must be some sort of masochist to take two in one day.

Have I studied for either?  Nope.  Because how can you?  Sure, you can review French grammer, maybe drop by SparkNotes, but ultimately there's no real way to study for these things.  I have every intention of winging it.  *Wing*

And then a myriad of rehearsals 'till I die.
Followed the next day by an audition.
Then rampant memorizations.
And another audition.  States away.  At least I get a weekend in D.C. out of the deal.  (J'adore D.C.)
Holy merde.

"Life is real!  Life is earnest!  And the grave is not its goal!
'Dust thou art, to dust returnest' was not spoke of the soul!"
-- Longfellow, I do believe.

so looks like ill be off xanaga till the summer

were getiing bugs from it and the mroe it shows up on the sources for the bigs the more likely kevin is to go look at it so me and erin made the hard but required decision to stop using it till we go to dads.... or face what happens when kevin finds our xangas

so phusebox here i am for you and you only

i love you

Here I am at the BSU loving my time well spent there.  Everyone else (besides the wonderful Trent Ashcraft) is playing the game Mafia which I very much refused to play.  I'm not a Mafia player.  Tonight was basically just spent at the BSU.  Went to Melini's with a few of the Playaz and it was fabulous.  I have to say that I really enjoy my time here at the BSU.  This is quality time that I would never have gotten had I been in shows this semester.  I'm loving my free time to spend.  Lauren auditioned for some summer theatre tonight and I don't know how it went.  She hasn't gotten back yet.  Really weird.  Anyway, I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my night and leave you to yours!

so the answer was is that i shaved my side burns. it kinda hurt doing it. they were since of pride for me. i had to fight my mom to keep them.

so the top 3 best guesses would have to be

1)elizabeth mott: did you loose and arm (made me laugh out loud)
2)will cameron: did i turn black (made me laugh too)
3)mallory gamball: did you pierce your face all over

and then an honorable mention with fellipe asking if i had shaved my self all over. that was funny

so things are pretty good right now. i have a rowing competition tomorow. i'm coming home after that, but i'm sorry, i probably not going to have any time to hang out with any body. sorry. it's my moms birthday. to be honest. i didnt know that until my dad told me tonight. kinda bad.

tomorow is jessicas' birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

piece

Well......finally the weekend............playing football tomorrow, and hopefully going to the mall with some friends after that..........anywho..basicallly updating cause I got fussed at.....

so this tattoo guy is over at our house and momma is getting a new tattoo. caleb already got his this afternoon and daddy got TWO about two weeks ago. i am contemplating getting one....it's gonna be small. probably about the size of a silver dollar and it's gonna be on the back of my neck so i can hide it with my hair....what is ya'll's verdict...to get a tattoo or not??

'is hold onto You and follow where You lead, where you're leading me. all that i can do is hold onto You and let You bring me through, it's all that i can do.

there are days i think i don't need You, there are days when i can't see the truth.
i need You to save me from the lies because every thought that's in my head and even when i draw my next breath, You knew it all before there was time.

when the waves begin to rise and all my hope fails in confidence i'll close my eyes, trusting You'll be there'

There's so
many words I have I
could say to you. But,
I dont know where to start.
The first time I talked to you I was
lost in thought. But, than my knee's went
to drop & my heart melted away. So,from
here on out I knew you were the one.

Than again I kept falling
again harder until I brought
myself to look ito your eyes
& say I love you.

by. kirsten

found this poem on a random website and thought that it meant alot.

i close my eyes.
and for once.
i feel like i am happy.
<3

I'll just post the main parts, like one's that have solos (i would post the entire cast but that would be alot of typing):

Riff- Daniel
Tony- Greg
Action- Kyle
Bernardo- Brady
Maria- Sarah/Elizabeth
Anita- Olivia/Alison
Rosalia- Rachel Chase

yeah, thatz right, I'm Rosalia and I'm greatful... I have alot of lines and solos ^^ so this is a big "YAY GOD!"

"We are scared of tomorrow
Because we are so anxious about what we haven't yet seen
But if tomorrow is too obvious to see
It's so much boring
Don't you think so?"
-Ayu (Beautiful Day)

So this last week has been insane...I can hardly recall a more eventful week.  It seems like Monday was a year ago.  Between West Side auditions Monday/Tuesday, voice and church on Wednesday, work Thursday, babysitting tonight, the Prom Fashion Show, randomly getting asked to Military Ball, hearing about all the Drama drama, hearing about all the regular drama, lots of homework, lots of tests and quizzes (two of which were history, requiring tons of prep), and the cast list finally going up, these last five days have been jam packed. 

I am a Shark Girl in West Side Story.  I kind of wish I had a name, but I guess I can make one up - I think I'll name myself Carmina.  That's purty.  And Spanish sounding.

Too much has been happening externally for me to be very reflective today....so I guess I don't have much to say.

Except maybe "usted robó mi leopardo púrpura, usted flamenco sucio del cristal?!?!?!"

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"B      Philosophy, psychology, and religion" out of the MLA handbook

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. Where are your fingers?
behind the desk at the LRC

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
umm...i think it was my tape of Days of our Lives ha!

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
3:30
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
3:19

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the doors closing while people walk out of the LRC

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
walking to work

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
 la's post about zaxby's that made me jealous!

9. What are you wearing?
kappa delta homecoming shirt from last year, jeans, and my birkenstocks

10. Did you dream last night?
everybody dreams multiple times every night...the question is, do we remember them??? but yes, i remember one of mine from last night :)

11. When did you last laugh?
um...when i was talking to meg and emily when they came to watch an opera

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
umm...doors, windows, white paint

13. Seen anything weird lately?
hmm....I saw a truck yesterday with a picture of an aborted fetus on the side...that was weird and upsetting (amen linda! that was disturbing!)

14. What do you think of this quiz?
different and i like it!

15. What is the last film you saw?
uh...i just watched the beginning of "rhapsody in blue: the story of gershwin" at work...it was pretty good!

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
an apartment in mannhattan! oh and a powerbook :)

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would get rid of laziness

18. Do you like to dance?
when i'm in the mood :)

19. George Bush:

eh, i'm not so sure anymore...

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
i haven't thought about it

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
ditto

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
It's in the plans!

23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
welcome, my child

Funny Story:

I had a "women's" doctor's appointment yesterday at 9 am. I was over-due for my yearly exam. And had a small concern.



Apparently, when the following symptoms occur . . .

frequent bathroom stops (I thought I was drinking too much carbonation.)

insatiable hunger (duh . . . the holidays.) fatigue (Ahem, I'm the mother of a three-year-old.)

missed cycles (well, I have no good excuse here except that my regular doctor explained that was due to some changing of my regular prescriptions.)

a few specific cravings (Jeremy can defend me here; this is not so abnormal.)

. . . one might be pregnant. Or in my case . . . 18 WEEKS PREGNANT and in total denial. I even told the nurse, "I'm not pregnant." So, when she showed me the positive test, she asked, "How do you explain this???" Can you believe I responded with, "Maybe my hormones are just a little out-of-wack?" Seriously, until the doppler hit my belly and we instantly heard heart rhythms, I was unconvinced. I said, "Well, you can't fake the heart beat at my navel!!!" I had the nurse, the sonogram-girl (?), and my midwife laughing all morning, along with me. Though I received a few unkindly glares from the other pregnant women in the office. I think I'm still up around cloud #15 or something. When the sonogram ruled the baby's age: 18 weeks, 3 days, 0.53 pounds - Jeremy and I looked at each other in total disbelief! And I felt badly, like I've neglected this little one for 4 months!!! Very healthy baby, though! Very happy and shocked mommy and daddy. Very ANXIOUS Harrison, who believes he's housing a little one in his own belly too.



We are due ON MY BIRTHDAY, June 26, 2006. Nearly 1/2-way through!!! 
YEAH, truly, I'm not showing yet.  That another miracle! 

the flight from nashville was the longest flight of my life. i thought i was never going to get off the plane. there were two girls on board that were definitely total "california girls" and it just made me laugh. oh and northwest lost my luggage on the way to nashville. great. but they found it and i picked it up from ontario airport this morning.
heather picked me up from the airport and it was so good to see her! i don't know what we are goign to do when she moves back to the east coast and i most likely return to the central time zone! plus we are having lunch with remy tomorrow and i am so excited to see her!
so the title of this entry is a slogan for one of the radio stations out here. i've been back for a day now, and i miss everyone at home, but I love it here too. i wish i could transplant home to here. i love being able to see my family, hang with brand, and randomly run into someone i've known since the first grade:). but it is so beautiful out here! its only 55 today, which generally would seem really cold to me here, but coming from illinois i am ready to break out the flip flops. this weekend is supposed to be in the 70s.
i was driving today and got to listen to the radio and it was just funny to me how different advertisements are out here. some of them actually made me laugh out loud because they were so typically californian.

well....i'm going to try to just take each day as it comes, and enjoy life in california while i still get to live here!:)

so winter retreat tonight... still have to pack... I have about and hour after I get home to get  ready... I really hope its fun... considering this is our last one.... ugh....

 thats the only picture I had on here of last years... maybe because this was as we were breaking the camera?

(i wrote this 6 months ago and i don't think i ever let you read it)

[Thursday, June 30, 2005]

Against the pale blue the tangerine roses are beautiful
they bring out the stars of van gogh
and brighten the room like a sunrise
painted with love's golden hues
refreshing as
a cool mint color green
i am pacified and calm
there are things i have not told you
but they're trivial and dumb
facts about a person i used to be
when i was not so fully me
they don't matter
anymore
they are like umbrellas on a sunny day, bulky burdens
besides
we've got our ponchos
they can keep us from any storm

under my bed are the monsters
i put them there myself
i thought
"that way they won't scare me"
but they do
late at night when i'm cold and alone
and your arms, your voice,
you
aren't there to protect me
latenight memories of loneliness
but the pain is not so profound
they all failed remarkably well
to be honest
i don't know where i'm going with this
i'm just trying to distract myself from the fear

you told me to write a poem
about the zipper effect of two merging lanes of traffic
after i pointed out
the remarkable way the cars came together
like something so ordinary, every-day
as zipping up your pants or a jacket
well there it is
i can't go any further
there's nothing else to say.

-L

hey!! :) :) :) :0!!:)

Uhhh.
I forgot what I was going to write.
Geeeeeezzz.
This weekend is going to be a Blast!
tonight going to the movies.
Finally going to see Hostel

My grandma said that I need to be more....
girly.
DSFJNSDJKLFN
ROFLMAO

Riiiiight.

I like me for who I am.

The End,

<3 Ash

going home for the weekend! yay!

so today i get to starve... no lunch money :( im broke. but it is friday and i get a paycheck..

...and ill finish this later... :D appreciate the above art work!

I Am About To Graduate Soon... Time Is Still Passing By Fast... Everyone Is So Excited... I Am Really Looking Forward To Go To College And Live A Successful Life... Well, I Gotta Go... Peace...

Hey Whats Up PB... I Got A Prom Coming Up In April And I Haven't Found Anyone To Take Yet... Its Really Stressful Because These Females Here Want To Much... I Mean Some Are Single, But They Act Like They Gotta Have Someone Special That Just Fits Them Just Right... Aint That Just Wrong Or What? Everybody Should Know That True Love Comes To Them But I Guess That Ain't What They Seaching For... Well, I Gotta Go... Thank You For Your Time PB...

have you ever decided not to think about something and then thatz all you can think about?  it makes my head ache and my stomache churn...

"Why am I so powerless and stupid?"
-Ayu (criminal)



"Even in the freezing pain, I still remember kindness
If you can erase everything, than I don't even need this heart"
-Gackt (Ash)

Before me The Race.

He lives this life
Shaped by my past
Passion calls.
Compeled.

And all these complications-
Tied around me,
Chin to my chest,
Fists white,
Veins prominant,
Heavy breathing.

My eyes look up
Muscles flex
Mind whispers ...Take the weight I tow
Tears find they're way down
Mouth calls out
Heart pours
Hands outstretched
You can't go on until you learn to let go.

My lips speak His name
And in my shame
I fall at His grace.
Jesus.
In my worst He calls me back to Him.
Unbinds confusion.
Acquited of the secret places I hide.

Hands outstretched
Alive. Delivered. Relieved...
Free, Free, Free
Jesus, my heart won't forget your mercies
With my new life I pledge to honor, You.

Tears find they're way down.
You brought me up.

Katie is amazing!!!
So yesturday was crap, I didn't stop throwing up till about 6:30 the next morning, and during the day, Katie called, and I told laura I wasn't up to talking, and then being the bestest friend she is, came over, and for the 2 seconds we talked, she made my day!
Well I still don't feel good, but I'm at school b/c i have deadlines for something...Well I hope everyone has a fabulous day.

Lost.

I finished season one.  Now I feel all empty inside.  I looked at the price to buy the season two eps off of iTunes, but I have not that much moolah.  *sigh*  Maybe if I just do some extra chores around the house, I can get my dad to buy the first twelve episodes for me.

Sleepy.

Two nights ago, I pulled a 85%-of-the-nighter to get and English project and a physics project done.  I got plenty of sleep last night.  I still feel exhausted.  My dad thinks I might be getting sick.  That's bad. I don't want to miss any more days.

You should entertain me this weekend.  Come up with some good ideas.

Screw you, George Washington University.

I got an email from them yesterday.
Concerning the Presidential Arts Scholarship.  Half-tuition.  Highly helpful, considering the rates they charge.

NEXT WEEKEND I have to be IN WASHINGTON D.C. at the college, with TWO CONTEMPORARY MONOLOGUES.  MEMORISED.  PERFECTED.

IN A WEEK.

So they email me the week BEFORE to tell me that?!!  WHAT??!!!!

Bastards.  And they only give four of them to theatres students.  Again I say, bastards.  Why do I even bother?  Why, in the hopes that every other plane nosedives, and I'm the only one there, of course.

I'm so screwed.

For any of you who had the misfortune to talk with me yesterday when I found this out (i.e. Mady, Brian, Nemanja).... This is the reason I suddenly became spastic and snappish and generally difficult to communicate with.

Yeah, and contemporary plays?  Ones written in the past five years.  Yeah.  Past five years.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.... *Collapses on floor, too depressed to move*

PROM

It's getting closer and closer to prom and I have no clue who I can go with. Everyone is already taken. :( What to do? Maybe I am too worried. Everyone says I will find someone to go with, but it's not looking that way. If only my best friend was still my best friend.

 I got my tires rotated on Wednesday, that made me happy. I got to go eat w/ Molly Todd and AJ at Las Palmas. It was yummy. :-)

Yesturday my mom gave me some money to go buy a silent brass system, some dress clothes, and food money. I had Chinese, duh. I later went to MYO and the lil oboe player gave me the coolest sticker!

I was like WOOT WOOT! I then got to spend 15 minutes with Mrs. Mullen running through my concerto, talking about tempos and whatnot. Radu canceled my lesson, and I was kinda happy. I had been playing for like...12 hours and I'm sure I wouldn't have sounded that nice. So next monday he wants me to get there a little earlier so we can have an hour instead of 30 minutes. I love Radu, he's so cool. I called and talked to him Wendesday for like 10 minutes just because. :-)

I was going to go see the Nashville Symphony tonight, but they changed the way that I get tickets (free) without telling me, so I got screwed. I'll have to wait till the next one that I want to see...I think it's Debussy Island and Sea so yeah, that's like next month though. So I'm going to go clothes shopping instead. I have to look nice for job shadowing and college auditions.

I didn't know that next week was the first weekend of Febuary! Where has all the time went! I have an audition next Saturday for UM and I really hope I do well. I'm sure I well, because I feel prepared, but the fact that it is a big school is just giving me butterflies. I don't know, I know they want me to go there and I want to go there...so I'm sure they will be generous.

The head band director at Belmont told me he likes the way I play the horn. :-)

An update on things is in order I suppose, considering.

Ok so here goes nothing. So far I've been going absolutely crazy just tryin to figure things out lately, like what I'm doing, what's going on, and just why the heck my life can't just be simple and make sense. Mock Trial is back in full swing and those of ui crazy enough to stick around and compete in regionals are now working double hard to get ready. It doesn't take up as much time as it did last semester for me because I'm only a witness for the prosecution instead of an attorney on both sides. But still two nights a week and a few hours on the side are devoted to winning a witness award at my first ever regional Mock Trial Tournament. Classes are going well. I really like my two literature classes and my sociology class. Theatre apprecitation is being tolerated becaue I have to take it. I'm reading two books at once and starting a paper for my English 2020 class on a book called The Go-Between which turned out to be a really good book.

If been trying dsperateley to hold on to my sanity as things in my personal life tend to get annoying and confusing. Especially with a certain guy. I called him Wednesday, almost sure that he wouldn't answer (cause he hasn't been) and fully intending to tell him exactly how I felt about the way things are going. But he pulled a fast one on me and answered the dang phone and I was too happy to tell him off. It turns out that he is coming to visit at the end of next month.

Well that's all I have for now so I'm off like a dirty shirt.

Forever your's, Lucky

i finally had a good night's sleep. yeah. however my problems are far from over.  greg has been calling me alot. however this might interfere with my plans. i am going to be super busy these next two weeks. oh well, as long as my english grade goes up i don't care.

There's so
many words I have I
could say to you. But,
I dont know where to start.
The first time I talked to you I was
lost in thought. But, than my knee's went
to drop & my heart melted away. So,from
here on out I knew you were the one.

Than again I kept falling
again harder until I brought
myself to look into your eyes
& say I love you.

By: Kirsten

I guess that . . . crap!

I have a date to Banquet!!! I'm taking Megan !!! Heck Yea !

DANG!!  okay hodge and jeff, i'll be nice not because you said but because i repented and God said i had to be nice.  haha.

Anyways,  last nite was very interesting.  My friend tezrah and i attended critical mass.  it wasn't my average type of service...  well actually worship.  in the beginning of worship it was a little rough to get into the spirit with only maybe 2 peeps in the audience, about 50 billion peeps as choir and about 4 million doing sound and power point.  okay so maybe i'm exaggerating..,  but seriously.  this was a time to really have God up in worhsip.  so i started to pray in tongues and let God move.  within 10 minutes of worship, God came down and annointed me.  He decided to speak to me about how to be patient with him.  He said to gain supernatural patience i need to worship in times that i don't feel like it and surrendering.  as he explained each step He then said, in order for supernatural patience to set in, i need to surrender my whole self and worship God for who he is.  It all links together.  Man, i felt Jesus' presence during the whole time of service.  it was so awesome.  God is so abundant, i mean who can resis such an ALMIGHTY GOD...  who in facts loves each and everyone on this earth.  Like it was said during service, " God doesn't need us, but he DESIRES us."  now that's something to ponder about.

We would like to say thanx for everybody that show up tuesday for Encounter and to help send Buddy off and have a great rest of the week!

I love that saying.

Today was actually quite good. I woke up with a head ache and went to my dreaded morning class where I felt like a complete idiot because my teacher said I'm to quiet when I say "here" for role and that I would have to come up to the front to talk to him afterwards. I'm half sleeping still. Leave me alone.

Went shopping with money I don't have. It was fun. I have this huge elaborate plan for Valentine's with Herschel (thanks to Ashley and my collaberative thinking) and it's going to take the next two weeks and 5 days to finish. Fun thing is he'll get two days worth of clues--which amuses me immensley.

Oh! If anyone knows where I can get an inexpensive pair of red heels I would be much appreciative.

I'm going to bed...I have music in the morning and already I don't want to get up.

I'm so tired of everyone talking about this stupid fight at school. Josh Purrington got his ass beat. yes, we know!! But if anyone wants to know his condition-- he went home today and is remembering who he is and stuff, etc..

Me and my boyfriend have had this discussion before. 'What discussion?' are you asking? Its the one whether it is right for black people to say the "n" word to each other like its their name or something. I mean 'HELLO!' its a frickin racial-slur and its annoying. I've seriously asked my boyfriend to stop saying it and i will ask people why they say it.

my boyfriend says it is a way to turn the negative to a positive so that they don't focus on the past. but if a fricin white guys wants to go up to some black guy and fit in thinking it my be a friendly term since it is thrown around so much think 'hey i can use it if they are!" well that turns out to be a negative- since you are either beaten to death or get shot. ):

i feel that it should not be used a'tall in any circumstance. it is a derogatory term used in the south back in civil war slave times. It was used as a put down and it is considered profanity.
i dont think anyone should use the word under any circumstances period! And its other forms created to stereotype others like whigger and cracker and others are jsut as bad! Black people need to get over the slave days or i don't know... go back to africa! no offense but its just stupid to use that term and think nothing about it.

but since im white -- i obviously know nothing about the subject. grrr... it makes me so mad when people say it I just want to walk up to them, kick them in the shin and embarrass them in front of everyone....

>:| grr.

on to other subjects :D i have chinese food tonight. it was a good night. my mom is having a rough time, but i will be 18 in eactly 9 days.. how frickin great is that!! then i get a new phone. :P
oh and sam bought me some earrings. They are super cute!