so the one night that i decide to try to get to sleep, do you know what happens?

the idiot in the room above me decides he needs to start hammering mercilessly.

God only knows what you could have to hammer at 10:30 at night . . . but then again, this is memphis, so maybe i don't want to know.

and as if that wasn't enough . . .

i was startled from my comfortable bed by the fire alarm.

that thing is loud enough to wake the dead . . .

the dead in siberia.

so i spent 30 minutes in the frigid cold trying to keep warm in a huddle with a few of my friends. and why was i forced to undergo such torment?

because some idiot in the kitchen downstairs burned eggs. or bacon. there were two stories circulating.

i personally started the rumor that he was cooking waffles.

so the moral of the story is don't try to go to sleep early when you are really tired and fighting off a cold.

and remember, kids:

smokie says don't cook breakfast foods late at night.