Just Pull The Trigger, Must I Beg?

June 20 2005
Okay, pretty sure I want to flippin shoot someone. I fucking hate being jealous but I fucking hate it when people piss me off.

I started out freshman year hardly knowing anyone in my choir class very well. But soon me and Sarah became friends. We always IMed each other right when we signed on and we always hung out. I'd go to her house and we'd hangout. We were best friends.

Now here we are, freshman year has ended and we don't even talk. I fucking hate her sometimes. We stopped talking about two months ago maybe. She says I'm too dramatic and she's trying to stay away from drama. EXCUSE ME! She's the one who fucking cut herself to feel the pain because 'she likes pain.' So much fucking bullshit!

I am a very jealous person and she knows that. But she has claimed Sean, MY boyfriend, as her new 'best friend.' It pisses me off. I know she claims not to have real 'best friends,' but it pisses me off that she IMs me and tells me all this funny stuff Sean says. I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT! If he is her best friend, then what the fuck ever. She tries to have a good girl persona but she isn't! She talks about going to church and realizing that she's not living a good life but she still continues to do stupid shit! Gah I want to fucking scream!

I know this may sound harsh, but I wish Sean wouldn't talk to her. Me being jealous, I tend to follow comments and the such on people's Xangas. I read all the comments she leaves him and the ones he leaves her. It kills me inside to see him say 'Love ya' or 'Hey babe.' I know they're 'friends.' But I want to be the only one he says he loves. I know I am selfish and I'm being a big whiny emo baby about this but I just wish I still had that friendship with her that we used to have and I want my boyfriend to know that I find it weird that they're so close.

Okay that was a major venting post. If I offended anyone I'm sorry, but get over it because those are my feelings.



June 20 2005
i'm a VERY jealous person too. and it's ok to be that way, but did you ever stop to think that maybe she's jealous of you?

Abby Dee

June 20 2005
oohhhh don't you hate jealousy!? suddenly, i've become the most jealous person alive.. it's killing me. hope life gets better

Carrie Clemmons

June 20 2005
jealousy stinks. i understand almost completely.