bad bad day

August 20 2005
My life is currently about as messy as my room.

I'm SUPPOSED to leave for TTU in oh lets see...not even 3 full days and Im not close to being finished packing. Im just disorganized. I thought having all organized up in the ol' noggin would be just fine but hey guess what i was wrong!! lol Im very afraid I'll forget stuff, like my toothbrush. And I mean I know if I forgot anything too major, I could always just run back home... oh wait... well I KINDA can, if I have the time and/or gas and/or car!! And anyways, I HATE not having everything with me. Plus if I have everything it'll seem more like home.

My poor dad had a heart attack. He's stable and everything, but.. you know how it is. Once you have a heart attack youre never really the same again. I mean it's gonna effect a LOT of things.. like his job (he works at Bridgestone, lifting heavy tires, and guess who cant lift anything over 5lbs for about 6 or 8 weeks?), his home life... I'll be gone, Brett wont be home much b/c of band... so who will do all those "necessary" chores, or whatever, like mowing, i dunno, stuff like that? Anyways, this whole thing kinda came out of nowhere, b/c my dad's pretty healthy in general. I mean his cholesterol and blood pressure are great, he's a diabetic, but he's not really what you'd consider "overweight," and he doesnt smoke... so this was just kinda sudden. And it just really sucks, not only for him, not only for his health, but i really feel for him b/c it seems as soon as things in all 4 our lives are getting back on track and everythings going alright for a change, something major happens to mess it up. like this. i mean it'll really change things.

Not ONLY that.. but tying it in w/my college life, this means I might not be able to attend the first day or so of band camp. becauuuuse, he MIGHT have to have heart surgery, and heart surgery is always major. and if he has it, it'll prolly be on mon. or tues.. and tues. is the day im SUPPOSED to move out lol. so of course if it came down to it, i'd stay.. it just REALLY SUCKS b/c i was so looking forward to moving out ~ and i know i still will but that would really make things harder. it would be more hectic, i would miss the first day of my college band camp life ever, miss learning all the basics, have to play catch up.....

geez why does everything big ALWAYS happen at once!!??
thats it. im becoming a nun and... wait that doesnt apply here does it... damn


August 21 2005
I love you Rachel!! Everything will be ok and I will call you tomorrow!

Nathan Garrett

August 21 2005
Hey!!! Im praying for you and your family!!! and I do remember the time i told you i had a kid!!! im very sorry about that!!!!haha...jk!!! Be cool, Stay in school!!!


August 21 2005
i'm praying for you guys' dad. my dad had a heart attack a few years ago, luckily it wasn't anything major. love you rachel have a great freshman year!


August 22 2005
I'm praying for you guys! Much love!!--Amanda


August 24 2005
so do u remember that one part in Aida.. Every moment of my life From now until I die I will think or dream of you And fail to understand How a perfect love can be Confounded out of hand well..yea...i remember how you used to cry at that part. well i understand why you did. cause it couldnt apply more to my life right now.


August 24 2005
just kidding it was this part... Oh, You are all I'll ever want, But this I am denied Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned What it is to be in love And have that love returned.... haha sorry

Rebekah Minor

August 27 2005
so, your brother is probably one of my favorite people, he makes me laugh...on another note, im really glad you got to leave on time...and i talked to your dad today, he seemed to being doing very well...

Chris Slate,

September 01 2005
your pretty... teehehe c ya ~Chris