May 09 2006
May 20th keeps creeping closer...
My nerves! My nerves! I'm.. wooo wooo... I just cant wait until this high school crap is over. I'm tired of being labled as immature, lazy, and a druggie.[well that last part i have to take back.. >< hehe] Yeh. I'm just ready for the mental release of having to fit in with a certain crowd, of being pressured to do other things becaise you dont want to be left out of the loop. I hate that feeling. will up date later.


April 17 2006
I'm totally stressing about this. I will have this pain in my stomach until she gives us them back. I think I caused myself to have an ulcer. Do you kno what I'm talking about? TERM PAPERS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ><!!!! I was working on mine like any other student on the night before it was due... and guess what happens... Dumm DUmm DUM :O I fall asleep working on the paper! This morning, I stressed to get the damn UNFINISHED paper emailed to myself in time enough for me to catch the bus! OMG what a morning.

So I figure that I could work on it in second period were I have the most AIR HEADED teacher. I figure she is going to be giving a "walk through" lesson. but But BUT NOOOOOOOOOO!!! She has to give us an activity to do on our own. That BITCH! I cant believe my eyes and ears! Of course I panic! I'm sweating.. SWEATING bullets! Of course I PANIC WORSE!! I dont kno what to do. I figure that I would sneak and do my paper anyways.. but you kno what happened... She walked around the room making sure that everyone was doing the assignment. PFFTT!! :P  I got news for you teach,  NOBODY and I mean NOBODY was doing it. Well of course.. today was my day.. She caught me. I got pissed off. Karen was trying to soothe me. I was stressing extremely bad. So I let that bitch win for now.

Library Bitches...
I then figured, "OYE!! I'll do it in the library during lunch!"  But  noooo since today was my lucky day- yeh the fuck right- I asked that old lady nicely.. I mean NICELY!! if I could just print the damn paper off... but noooo- by this time my eyes are whaling up and I'm about ready to let it all out- she denied me because I didnt have my little stamp thingie for her old ass eyes to see. I bet she could tell her ass from a hole in the ground! She pissed me off so bad. Later I caught up with a friend and told her about it.. like she cared, shes a junior. She made fun of me. But, mwuahahahahahahahahahahaha! I told her she would have to go throught this shit next year, sooo :PPPPP!! And that cheered me up a bit.

I love Love LOVE Chris!
It was fifth period! AHHHHHH ENGLISH!! OMG and still no PAPER! I was talking myself into taking the zero for not even having it. I had mentally prepared myself for it. I was holding back tears. I knew that if Mrs. Jackson would have looked at me, I would have started crying. I felt so hopeless. U__U But then I noticed Chris and got a huggle!! We were both last mintue on our papers. I said "Uhh.. where you going?"
"Print off my paper."
:O "WTF?!? Will you print mine too?!?!?"
A few mintues later my unfinished paper was in my hands. I felt alot better but not much. I wanted more time.. to build a time machine to go back to make me focus more on that damn paper. Hell getting anything is better than a zero. But it dont even matter I think that I have failed that class anyways. I'm not doing good in that class. It will suck ass...
no it will suck major donkey balls if I have to graduate in summer school. I will be so ashamed of myself. But my mother? Lesley (why do I care about her? @_@)? Edu? OMG EDU!! I havent even thought about him!! OMG! What will he think of me? Now I feel so horrible! I wanna cry! I think I will do that, it will make me feel better. Maybe I will come up with a solution to this. Begging Mrs. Jackson for extra credit? Whoring myself for her (O O HELL NOO!! That was Chris's idea. [FUCK YOU! :P])? Hell I have no idea but I need to think quick fast and in a hurry!
Someone hold me and tell me the world is gonna be ok!! PLEASE!!


April 11 2006
Karen and I went to MTSU's Tucker Theater to see the Chinese Arcobats. They were AMAZING!!

I will upload some pictures and some video later. Right now, though, I'm tired!

Peace out- Lemonade


March 31 2006


peace- Lemonade


March 30 2006
Letting you in...

I met this guy and we have been talking for awhile now. He's the most beautiful creation that I have ever laid eyes on. He has an arua that is bright and beautiful. I believe I could live the rest of my life with him.

You kno the whole shaa baam:
Old Age

That. He's incredible. No.. not just incredible.. but, when I find that Super word to describe how greatly fantastic :), he is... I will let you kno!

Lets see... His name is Eduardo "Edu" Aurelio Herrera Garate. Now thats a name..^^ and I want it all. You kno back when you were in middle school the girls would write there boyfriends last name after theirs. Tsk.. tsk.. I am ashamed to call myself a hard ass, but he makes me feel so warm and mushie.. I have been doing all the little girly stuff.
I'm  starting to loose my edge. But this is a good thing. I cant be all mean and sour all my life, right. This love feeling looks kinda nice on me and it feels good too! ^^
He told me that in spanish countries, they take the mothers last name and the fathers last name too, thus having 2 surnames. I said no. My last name has so many bad memories and experiences attached to it. I dont want that carried into our new life. So I will be Kaleena Herrera Garate. <--- Sounds pretty cool, eh? I'll just go by Herrera. Herrera sounds cool.

Love feeling...
People should feel what I feel. This love thing is great! He makes me so happy! ^^ Yeh.. I gonna quit because I think a few people have gotten sick.

Cya- Lemonade


March 25 2006
Why is that when I try something that I want to try and everyone around me gets pissed or hurt? Ehh.. I dont understand that my damn self. It's like they are all high and mighty when it comes to me, but after they get done yelling at me about how "bad" it is for you, they tell me about goo memories they have had with it. Hypocrites.. Thats what I think they are. Its not right for me to be able to take their shit all the damn time about that when later on they rub it in my face that they had a good time doing that. I never really had the urge so bad, until I found it in Fernando's car, which he claimed it was his Mexican friends. Pffft! Yeh right.. I kno he had done some of that stuff. He is around that shit all the time. How could he not? Unless he has incredible self control. Which I think not. I believe that he lies to me too. When we were first dating, he would smell straight up like alcohol and he would swear up and down that it he didnt drink. But ehhh... I kno him too well. Hes a fucking douche to get made at me for smoking. When I kno that he has dont it atleast once. Then Edu gets mad at me!! ><!! This makes me want to be a chronic smoker. I kno people and they kno people that kno people's people... You understand? If not then you dont need to kno.

Yesterday was my first time smoking. It was a good feeling. The burning of the throut wasnt nice but the feeling after was good. I coughed alot. I didnt kno "how" to do it. But my smoking partner knew EVERYTHING  about it and gave me pointers he/she is a major smoker. Something that I want to become. I think I will make that my new goal.

Proverbing 2...

I told the both of them that I wouldnt do it again, because I saw how deeply hurt they were about me doing it. But Fernando like himself, the self I kno very very well, kept telling me that he didnt care what I did. I kno, in the deep recesses of my brain, that  he means the  total opposite. Sometimes there is no way of knowing with him. He is just as fucked up as I am, but since I'm young, "naive", and Solo hablo ingles he thinks I'm stupid. But ehh.. this is a mans world, where the woman is still expected to stay at home. Ohh, and especially when she is a fat girl like myself. I have no idea whats going through that boy's mind.. but I'm not and will not do that. I have played that game with him and I'm not doing that with him again. Fuck that. I rather keep on using him like he did me until I'm satisfied that he has worked off his debt to me.

I think I have said too shit for your and my brain can handle. I got to sleep and think of a stradigy to Eduardo to be nice again to me. But ehh... he wants to be this way.. I say "Let him"
because only he can change his mind and I'm not going to kiss his ass for that. If he wants things to continue like before, then he will work with me to make a thing called us work.

peace out - Lemonade