I wish I didn't feel the way I feel sometimes bout life. I wish I didn't hurt so bad. I wish I could get over all this, I feel like its holding me back from being truly happy.Heartache stinks. I guess its something I have to deal with, it is my fault I feel this way in the first place. I hate how much I miss him and he doesnt at all. I wish I could go back to April and do things t-totally different, I wish people didnt influence and have such an impact on me as they do. Hmm rightnow life is hard! But oh well Ive lived like this for the past 6mths I guess it cant really get any worse, but hmm it can. Plus guys can be HUGE jerks sometimes! Sorry I guess I just had to vent for a minute, but all will be better later!

Soo those were the better times, I remeber that day perfectly. I miss Ben he was awesome and helped me through SOOO much!