Jak Barnes


Jak the Dog!

January 30 2007

Hello I'm Jak, and I am a dog.  How about let's make me a golden retriever, those are fun.  I dont really have too much of a free life, no kid to play fetch with, no adult to do some silly trick with for a doggie biscuit, no nothing.  I live in a laboratory.  All I have is a cage and the occassional meal.  It seems rather sad but Ive been here for as long as I can remember, so its just life to me.  One day Robert, one of the reasearchers, threw a round object into my cage.  I've never seen one of these things before, but he called it a ball.  Seeing it bounce up and down inside my cage just sent an impulse through me to just go after it, so I did.  I jumped to the ball and quickly caught it in my mouth, and soon did I realize that it tasted DELICIOUS!  I don't know what it is about a rubberized ball.  Not only did it taste so good, but it was so much fun just how it bounced.  Days upon days went by, and this ball was providing so much fun, so much joy for me, if I wasn't playing with the ball, I was thinking about the ball.  Suddenly after a couple of weeks something terrible happen.  While the ball was in my mouth, it exploded!  Not only that, it also disenegrated.  Now I was left with nothing, nothing except the pain of the explosion, oh how it hurt. 

I didn't want to do anything for quite sometime.  I might eat, I might not.  A few weeks went by, and I was starting to get used to everyday life again.  One morning, I woke up, and a brand new ball was in my cage.  I was a little hesitant at first, but eventually I was back to playing with a new ball!  This was even better than the first one, it tasted better, it bounced higher.  Oh how I loved the ball.  And once again, my life's focus was the ball, if I wasnt bouncing the ball, tasting the ball, holding the ball, I sure was thinking about the ball.  A few months later it unfortunately happened again.  As I was holding the ball in my mouth, BOOM, and again I am left with nothing but the pain from the explosion. 

This continues to happen for as long as I am here.  The few days after the explosion the pain causes me to only want to eat.  And as a start to get readjusted to everyday life, a brand new ball comes in.  I play with it, and it explodes.  I never know when it's going to explode, but I do know that the pain is extreme when it does.  Until finally I get to a point. 

They'll put a ball in my cage.  I don't do anything with it.  I want to, I want to play with it, taste it, enjoy it, bounce it up and down and all around my cage, I want to do all of that more than anything in the world.  But I don't, I know it will explode and be very painful.  So here I sit.

Happy Chocolate Milk Day!!!

January 15 2007
I just wanted to take this time to wish you all a very safe and happy chocolate milk day!


January 14 2007

Ah Saturday, a day that anybody would look forward to.  It was actually a weird day for dearly beloved Jak.  I would start telling you about it, but it would take me a very long time for me to tell the whole story.  Nevertheless, this is going to be my last blog.  I've tried this blogging thing out for a few days to give it a shot, and seriously it's just not for me.  If you want to write me a message, then great, I'll read and even respond.  But sorry guys, no more blogging for me.  Seems kind of like a waste of time.


January 12 2007

Ah the sweet smell of Friday, and your american hero Jak has been understandibly looking foward to this.  Work was only a half day, I was gone by lunchtime, that happens every Friday.  Also on every Friday I am starting a new tradition to stop by the store, pick up a sandwich and a rose, go to the cemetary and have lunch with my father.  It's probably the most peaceful time of my week.  Afterwards I went to the gym for a couple of hours to take out my agressions on an illeptical.  Tonight a couple of friends from work wanted to go get drinks and shoot the breeze about their ever so monotaneous week, so we all went to the local O'charley's.  I'm back to my apartment from there, a little tired now, so now I'm making my entry and heading to bed.


January 11 2007
I shouldn't have to tell you how today started.  But if you don't know, it started the exact same way it always does.  I woke up at the same exact time and fought the same exact homicidal traffic.  The only alteration of my morning was the breakfast that I ate and the clothes that I wore.  So I put on my crispily ironed shirt and ever so dark slacks, and lastly I put on my red tie, triple knotted as usual,  and headed to work.  I moved money between accounts at work for 9 hours and then clocked out.  On my way home I fought just hard enough to swing by the local Target and purchase eucolyptus scented bath salts among other things.  So I fought my way back into traffic, and finally made it to the apartment.  Because of the reason of my most recent purchase, the first thing I did when I was home was spend quality time in the tub.  Being a rather tall male you wouldn't expect me to be the type of person that uses bath salts in his bath, but oh contrare!  What better way to end a day filled with trying to make sense of numbers then for ravishing young Jak to relax in a bath, taking in the relaxing aroma of eucolyptus mixed with the sweet sense of monotany that my day brings.  After that I can honestly say that I spent the rest of my night drinking a couple of cold ones while becoming an abnormal spud growth on the couch, and I didn't feel guilty about it.  I had finally had my nothing night that I felt so much like the now-relaxed Jak deserved.  Just in time for Friday...

Wednesday 1/10/07

January 10 2007
Another day, another dollar, as the famous line goes.  Another dollar indeed.  Wednesday started out just like Tuesday did, which is just like any other day of my monotanous morning.  The only difference between Wednesday and Tuesday morning was a granola bar instead of a slice of pizza, and waking up feeling like a trainwreck.  Does a night of hockey actually do that to a person?  I feel a sense of jealousy toward the coworkers I have that can party at night and be able to function in the office in the morning.  Nevertheless, I leave for work and fight the ever so gleeful homicidal traffic that is downtown Nashville.  Once again, I'm going to skip the part about work and wish I could be talking about my hypothetical day spent fishing or something similar.  Once I leave work, I still have the trainwreck feeling of this morning.  On top of that I feel sick, but I'm not sick.  When Darling Jak was redoing the floors in his mother's house, he didn't wear a dust mask and thus breathed in insullation material.  I didn't think it was any harm, only the fact that I would be coughing up a raw cat a week later.  I finally get to my apartment, the time of the day I've been looking forward to the most.  The time to where I do nothing but become an abnormal growth attached to the seat of my sofa.  I feel like I deserve a nothing night, even last night I was doing something, albeit entertaining.  A short while later my neighbor Chris stops by and insists that I go bowling with him and his brother and girlfriend.  Oh how I looked forward to the nothing night, but a bribery of free dinner was much more worth it, even if it was a quick stop by the drive-thru at McD's.  After dinner we went ahead and bowled a couple of games.  He didn't know this but bowling used to be a hobby of mine, I felt like I was good at it too.  I'm a little washed up now but I can still beat an everyday joe, and apparently I could beat the fearsome threesome with much ease, especially while armed with my Brunswick, it was 220 if you're curious.  Poor, pitiful, and sick-feeling Jak is back in his apartment now, and after a night of bowling he's ready to go to bed, only to wake up and attend to what has now become known as Jak's monotanous mornings.  Perhaps one day when I have nothing else to write about I will tell you about work, perhaps my dear friend.

Tuesday 1/9/07

January 09 2007

First blog, fun stuff.  My username (and name as far as phusebox is concerned) is Jak Barnes.  Actually that really isn't my name.  You see, there have been reports of potential and current employers that would actually go far enough to google your own name to find out information.  So, Jak Barnes is my alias.  My name, if you must know, is the initials of Jak Barnes, and just the initials.  Co-workers call me James Bond, I guess I really can't complain about that nickname, I've had worse.  Anyway, someone recommended phusebox to me a while ago and I just thought I would give it a shot, so here goes, on with my tuesday. 

Tuesday started just as any other day would.  I woke up, took a shower, ate a couple of slices of cold leftover supreme works pizza for breakfast, and off to work I went, fighting the traffic filled with homicidal behavoired drivers, such a tranquility.  Work is boring, I sit in a cubicle all day moving money around, so to save mine and your sanity, I'll skip the part about work.  For the past few days, I've been stopping by my mom's house to lay flooring, so tonight after work I rewarded myself by taking in a hockey game.  I went to the game by myself, which I like better in a way.  I didn't used to.  In the past, I would never go by myself, I had my hockey buddy to always go with me, he was my dad. Between now and then I don't have a dad anymore.  So now I go by myself.  Sure it's lonely but it's also peaceful in a way.  So I sat back enjoying my newly born tradition of eating ice cream while watching hockey, and we won.  Now I'm here, back home in my apartment, ready to sleep and start another day at work.