Easter weekend...

April 17 2006

Well the weekend was wonderful. Not only was it Easter weekend, but it was also the start of the 2006 Coaster Season for me.

Friday morning I got up and took off to Six Flags back home to get my season pass. After getting my picture taken and all the other stuff taken care of I decided to head in the park by myself just so I could get a ride on this new behemuth they have there.

And what a ride it was...I've been on taller, I've been on faster, heck I've even been on longer but some how this coaster made my Top 10 List. Goliath is an amazing ride from start to finish: the lift hill is excitingly steep and gives you the sensation of being tilted upward for liftoff. And that first hill actually got my stomach going even though it was only 200 ft. But the most exciting thing about the whole ride experience was what we Coaster-nuts call "Airtime". After every hill, and I mean every hill; the back of the train gets the best airtime I've ever experienced. Since the thing never really slows down, I was lifted out of my seat after every hill at speeds close to 70 m.p.h. It's so exciting that a coaster like that lives just 6 miles from my house back home.

Well after I snuck on and got my fix, I headed over to the ride that has been my favorite since I was 7: "The Great American Scream Machine". I had a blast just being taken away by the multiple hills with the wind on my face and holding on for dear life because I'm either getting older or something; the ride just seems a little rougher these days. After that I headed back home with another season upon the horizon finally reached on the highway of hills and thrills.

Mysti came up for the weekend and we had a blast. Spent saturday at my Grandparent's farm shooting snapping turtles in the pond with the .22. Showed her all the horse buggies and classic cars in the barn and just had fun showing her where it is my "country" side comes from.

Well, I'm back to homework with only 3 weeks of school left. Looking forward to the break, I've got Disney World and Oregon in my sights for May....


April 07 2006
Mysti is on her way up for the weekend. Just to let you know how happy I am...

Long time it seems

March 26 2006

Nothing really to report except Spring Break was awesome!!! I fell out of a bar stool that probably Hemmingway himself fell out of several times, not to mention chilling out on his porch and in his writing house. We partied and partied. I passed out on Duval Street outside of Margaritaville, ans watched the sunset from the southernmost point in the U.S. Overall, it was one of the Top 5 Roadtrips yet....

I'm headed back home thursday night for the exclusive season pass night on Friday to ride the new coaster at Six Flags which will also mark the beginning of the 2006 Coaster Season. Exciting as it gets. I have a huge meeting on Friday morning with my old boss that might predict the next 3 years of my life. Your prayers will come in handy.

Mysti and mine's relationship is as good as its ever been. We're both just so in love and it makes me so happy. I never would have thought that it would have worked out this way. My bestfriend since 10, you just couldn't write it any better than that.

Well I'm back to my homework with only 6 weeks of school left. I need a job, I need a loan, and I need some PS2. You guess which one comes first...

72 Hours and Counting...

March 06 2006

As we approach yet another great adventure next week, I am brought back to some of my old entries about life on the road. I went back and found the entry I wrote the night before we left for the California trip this summer and I must say I think it is the best piece of writing I've ever done. It describes me and life on the road so well. So I'm going to repost that entry right now because again it is so true (except for the details of the trip).

June 8th, 2005:
Yes, IT is Upon us...the urges, the desires, the passion of experience. An experience that will mold us, wrinkle us, and yes; make us different people. As I sit here on the eve on The Second Great Trip, I'm wondering how is this trip going to effect me? How it will mold my friendships and take over my relationships. Will it bring us closer together or pull us apart? I am at my most happiest right now, and if you're not around to see it I feel sorry for you because you do not know what it means for Joey to be happy. So much anxiety, yet a sign of maturity with my new found patience. The stress starts to set in on the inevitable questions that we are forced to ask ourselves: are we gonna actually make it? Did we budget right? Have we planned the route so we can see as much as possible? Am I up to the challenge...

And a challenge it will be...2500 miles, 4 National Parks, and 8 States over the course of 3 days; TWICE! My body is already tired from the previous four weeks at work and I can feel an illness getting ready to set in. And set in it will, 3 continuous days on the road will definitely knock on your immune system as well as your will to be energetic and optimistic. It sounds like a lot of negativity coming out of my mouth right now I'm sure...but for you that have actually went through something like this you know my concerns have some merritt. I'm absolutely going to love being on this trip. I was thinking about it today that it could have the possibilities of becoming the best two weeks of my life. And considering last summer's trip I'd have to say that means I could be pretty darn happy. My girl, my buddy, my country, my world; it doesn't get much better than that and if it does...I'm really not ready to experience that kind of joy. There is nothing like staring over the edge of that dash with scenery you've never seen before passing you on both sides, nothing infront of you but about 800 Miles to drive that day. Man, I love it. Rolling down the windows and letting the wind and the sunlight just wrap you up. Listening to music so loud you can't hear the semis going by. Experiencing things with people you love that you will remember for the rest of your life. Example: Laying in the middle of Yellowstone last summer at 3:30 a.m. Having a pack of Coyotes wake you and your buddy up with a sound so loud that it rivaled the memories of Monster Trucks when you were a child. Standing of the edge of Wyoming staring 7000 feet down. Or just having drunken nights in Tijuana with the two people that mean the most to you. That's why we travel...

The next two weeks are only going to be as good as we make them. I'm just so excited right now, so excited. I can't believe it's finally here. It's been planned since February and mapped out to the every detail since last month. It's what your whole summer was planned around, it was the reason you decided to come home and work this summer instead of working in San Francisco. It's going to change your life again. It's going to humble you and give you more respect for God and how awesome His creations are, including the two awesome people that are coming with you. It's going to beat on you, wear on you, and make you question your passion to travel. And you're going to love every moment of it...

The Lies we are told...

March 01 2006

"You ruined our time and now I must survive on my own.

It seemed so right at time, I wish I would've known."

its slowly coming along....spring break in 7 days and i do believe the guitar is coming with me along with the new haircut.


February 26 2006

I felt like i've been hit with a truck. i'm at a loss with no one to help me get through this....


I am Me, and this is her...

February 23 2006
I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe,
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down

I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go

Funny...yet awesome

February 19 2006
 Well, we need to all take a moment and realize that life is too funny not to laugh at. Let me strike that, people are too funny. When did everyone start to take themselves so seriously? I admit I do it sometimes too; I have to stop myself and seriously say "Who the heck do you think you are?" And then I'm to being that 14 year-old thats scared of girls and doesn't want to grow up anymore because he won't be able to fit in the "Carrot-Patch" at Bugs Bunny World at Six Flags. Okay, maybe I was already too big at 14 but that doesn't mean I still didn't sneak it to run through some carrrots.  But okay people, let's all remember we are here to enjoy life and take advantage of the little time the Lord has given us here. If it doesn't matter 30 years from now, or even 30 minutes from now; why are you letting it bother you know?

   Okay, something else needs to be said: Last night was probably the proudest moment of my life. We were at the library listening to Colour Revolt (which I really liked I might add) and someone did something I would never think would happen to me. They walked up to one of our friends and these are the words that came out of their mouth, "Hey, is that Panama Jack and the Kid?" My friend came over and told us and I was on cloud nine. I know to most of you the music is dumb and we really don't take it seriously (that's what makes it fun) but we were reconized. I was shocked and even though it was pretty much nothing, it was the first time in my life I felt kind of "famous". Dumb I know, but it still made my top 5. And then I had to put my Top 5 in order. And here is how it came out.....
1. My 21st Birthday: The party and other reasons :)
2. Getting my Mustang: Something that I always wanted and will never sell (don't worry Rusty, you'll be driven again shortly I promise)
3. The night in Vegas this summer with Mysti: too many moments to list
4. Riding The Beast at night: the Coaster changed my life forever. There is no feeling like flying through the Woods of King's Island on a cold fall night. Nothing
5. Being reconized for the first time at the Library: it was just too funny not to list

  And now back to the music. Enlight of all the (b.s.) songs me and jordy write,  I've actually started to write some of my own "real" stuff again. Mysti's Valentine's Song could have turned out a little better I'm sure, but she loved and it gave me some encouragement. There is some other stuff I'm working on, but there is this one song that I've been trying to hit for the last few weeks with no luck. It's helping me though an issue though, so even though it never actually gets finished, its already been a big help. Its become like a new "therapy" for me and I love it. Well I've got to get back out in the living room before the guys cause even more of a mess....
  Here's to all of you that are living and realize that a sense of humor makes the best sense in the world.
  Spring Break, less than 3 weeks....

As the weather gets warm, we start to turn...

February 16 2006

The weather has been quite warm for the last 36 hours, and spring fever has hit the 6222. We've skipping a lot of class and having too much fun. And just imagine that we are going to be here all summer with a boat on the lake and we're supposed to be taking classes?! This could be bad.....

Something else I must say; I'm pretty darn happy right now. If you ever want to see me happy, and I mean really happy stop by in the next 3 weeks because with a Road Trip of a lifetime on the horizon nothing seems to get to me. My life is as perfect as it can be right now (with the exception of somethins) and I'm on cloud nine. The cold weather takes a cold on me I think, especially being here and not on the beach and not riding coasters. But 3 weeks from now, here is what I'm looking forward too:

Being on the road early in the morning and watching the sun rise as I cross over the Florida state line with my travel companions alseep and I'm at the wheel. There is no better feeling than that. Listening to some Pat, Kenny, and Jimmy, eating gas station food, and headed where the weather is warm and the bikinis are small. Sitting on the same bar stool as Hemmingway, drinking the same drinks that Buffett had, and not remembering any of it. Why do roadtrips do it for me? Because for that week or so, you can be whoever you want to be. You have no past, no future, and nothing to hold you back. Its what I wish my life was like everyday. So we will party here at Margaritaville I'm sure, but nothing beats the sands of the keys and the cobblestones on Duval Street.

I'll make sure I turn one up tonight for flip flops, bikini tops, drinks on the rocks, and feet without socks....

A little humor in your day...

February 12 2006

So some of them might be a little nasty, but that's how most songs that are written by two drunken sexually frustrated 20-something males go. Enjoy.


More to come shortly, maybe even a Jay-Z cover. We'll see...

Becoming who I am

February 11 2006

Or who I'm really not. I've turned into the one thing I promised myself I would never be. I'm letting something pass me by and I can already see myself not even trying to reach out, hop on board, and enjoy the ride no matter where it takes me. For the first time in 21 years, I'm not taking the chance to live.....

something is seriously wrong with me

A Memory from the past...

February 05 2006

I was going through some old stuff in my closet tonight after everyone left the Super Bowl Party and I found my Travel Log from the road trip of 2004. I was just scanning through and I found this:

July 6, 2004 - Sitting 7,200 ft. off the Valley Floor; Yosemite National Park, Ca.

Alive. This is what this trip has meant to me in one word. I'm free from the trials of Mableton and on my way to the Pacific in less than 2 days. And I feel like I've only taken a step away.

For the first time in my life I'm doing what I want to do and everyday seems like its the first one I've ever seen. I never want to let the world control me, only the Lord and only my heart. The beauty and the vastness of this place makes me see the artist in our creator and even more makes me see the insignificance of myself.  I love my life, I absolutely love it....

After reading that I started to wonder what happen to that boy that was standing on the edge of freedom just a mere year and half ago? I started leading with my head instead of my heart and its ended me jobless, carless, road tripless, and unpassionate.

I have let myself down in so many ways lately. I've become the biggest jerk I know and have done some of the most inconsiderate things I could ever imagine to a friend. And for the first time that I can remember, I have no idea who I am and where I am going. I thought the days of "self defining" were over for me, but at times when I lay here alone in bed; I feel like I never had a clue. I want so badly to return to that boy that was sitting there with a smile on his face and no where to go but to take another step away from home and everything familiar....

Trying to beathe....

February 01 2006

In about 3 days my life is forever going to change and my life will be completely different. It is such a thing to have happen to you in the first place, but to know it is going to happen makes your stomach drop. I feel like I'm on the Scream Machine back home just doing continuous circuits and my stomach can't catch up.

I'm a little worried, but I know its the right thing to do. Let's just hope I keep up the nerve to do it and don't chicken out. I know its the right decision so that should get me through, as will the words of my Grandfather last thanksgiving:

"Joey, you follow your heart; and you'll never go wrong."

I need a road trip

January 29 2006

I need a trip. Now, spring is coming but I need a "Joey" trip. I used to get one of these about once a month when I would head home to visit mom and everyone else but since I have no car its kind of difficult these days. And I'm never alone in this apartment now. Never. I used to be able to hide away in the dorm or atleast last semester Billy would go out and I could come up with some excuse not to go so I could sit here and a few thoughts to myself. I need that.

If I don't stop and analyze by life every once in a while, it begins to pass me by without even me getting the chance to notice. Scary. So I need a trip. I think I will come up with some excuse to go home and still the roommates car for the weekend and drive somewhere south. Maybe.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love people. But at times, people can be too much. Because I like me, I like me a whole lot. And sometimes I like to keep myself well, to myself. Does that sound weird to most? I think I'm starting to miss my life a little. And atleast on my little roadtrips I got to be that Joey that I so long to be. And here, it feels like he's having to hide away and the Joey that does homework and is responsible cannot be lost. Where ever you are Joey, come find me real soon. We'll have to do something together...

The moments we most remember...

January 27 2006

I was watching tv tonight just taking it easy of this friday night and there was a scene where they were on the beach of the Pacific Ocean and it made me think of two summers ago when I finally saw the world from the Pacific side.

I just remember driving down the coastline from San Franciso to San Diego just waiting to get my chance to put my feet in the "dark" sand for once. We finally reached San Diego and met with Billy's aunt on Mission Beach and there she was: big, blue, and most importantly; waves. I sat there for what seemed like an afternoon just watching the waves consistenly move in, this time from left to right.

There are moments in our lives that we never forget, things that are most beloved memories and those that are our worst. But we most remember that they are ours, they are colors and contrast of our lives that make us who we are. My first kiss, my first time drunk, my first coaster, where I was the first time I heard a Zeppelin song, the first time I fell in love and the first time my heart got broken. My first car wreck, the first time I saw the statue of liberty, the time I saw Ground Zero in New York, my first time breaking 100 mph on a coaster, the first time I saw the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, the time I saw the sun rise in Monument Valley, running up the stairs in Philly just where Rocky did it, sky diving, almost getting a tattoo, hearing Buffett for the first time, hearing Jack for the first time, seeing my grandfather in the hospital and almost fainting, and taking the biggest risks of my life...

These moments don't define who I am necessairly, they are just the pages of my life. I take what I want from each of these, but I always remember to atleast take something from them. If anyone has a top five or more for that matter send them to me. It's always a great thing to see what memories matter in people's lives.

Let's hear for my mom...

January 24 2006

Actually, let's hear it for all single moms out there trying to turn mean little boys into real gentlemen one day. I spoke to my Mom yesterday inbetween classes and we probably had one of our most open and honest conversations we've had since I was probably 5. I guess it was around that age I began to be afraid of my Mom and what she really thought about some of the things her middle son wanted to do or had already done.

But yesterday somehow I think I really became an adult in her eyes and she talked to me like I was living my own life, not the one her or the rest of the family had planned out. I have to give my mom so much credit and I am so thankful that I could have someone like her raise me. When my Dad split on her when I was seven she was thrown into the reality of trying to raise and take care of 3 very needy boys who most of the time were trying to kill each other.

My mom was fantastic with us, especially with me. When I was 7 years old she took and a bunch of my buddies to Six Flags for the first time and it was there my life changed a little bit. After riding my first coasters there was something inside of me and the only thing I wanted to do after that was go back for more. Over the years we went back time and time again and at that point in my life it was just for the "fun" of riding them that kept me coming back. But one spring break, my mom gathered enough money up to take her 3 sons on a trip, that I look back on now, that will probably be the most influential 3 days of my life.

We packed up the car and headed down to tampa. Just imagine, a 7, 10, and 13 year-old crammed in the car for 8 hours just screaming and fighting; and yet we never turned around like she threatened too so many times. Odd now that I think about it, I don't know if I could have done it. Anyways. After riding my first ride on Kumba, my life was forever changed. I always say it was my first "real" coaster. Smooth, 7 inversions. A lift hill of 153 feet. My first "real Big" coaster anyway. I realized that someone out there had to design these things. And because of what my mom said, I could do it.

Now if you analyze my brothers and me I'm more like the black sheep of the family considering I'm the only out of drugs, went to college, and does not do manual labor. Now, there's a lot of pressure in my family for me to do "something" with my life. But the other day, my mom and I talked and it seemed that for the first time in my life; my dreams became hers. It was about being a doctor like my grandparents wanted, or a lawyer like my dad wanted; it was about what I wanted to do. That support is amazing. But my mom is so much more than that...

She's taught me so much about love and how to treat a lady. Something which I feared I have fallen away from lately, and I feel absolutely terrible. I remember one time I was fifteen and she picked me and my girlfriend up from the movies. We just hopped in. And as soon as I got in the car she yelled at me and made me get back out and open the door for my date. Embarrassing. But needed.

I feel like I owe all my good qualities to her. Now I have to admit I do get my eyes from my dad, but the good stuff is all from her I know. And I know that there is no way I could be sitting here 400 miles from everything I've ever known if it wasn't for her. I don't this doesn't matter to most, but its been on my mind since yesterday and I don't ever want to forget how special the #1 lady in my life is. So ladies if you're out there, you've got a tough act to follow....

A Pirate Looks at 21

January 23 2006

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.
You've seen it all, you've seen it all.

Watch the men who rode you,
Switch from sails to steam.
And in your belly you hold the treasure
that few have ever seen, most of them dreams,
Most of them dreams.

Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.

I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast,
Never meant to last, never meant to last.

I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin',
Got to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
And though I ran away, they'll come back one day.
And still could manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile.

Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupations
just not around.
I feel like I've drowned,
Gonna head uptown.


Trust issues....again

January 22 2006

Well kiddies, The Kid is a mess. My life is upside down....and just this morning I tried to remember when I last felt like I was completely loss in a familiar world. And I remembered....

The summer of 2003 changed my life forever in so many ways that I could spend the rest of my days naming how that guy before no longer exists on so many levels. I was in love and knew it. I had been saving my money for months and months, eating gas station food for lunch every day and working 50+ hours a week not to mention taking 18 hours a semester so I could graduate in 3 years....all for her. And on hot summer night, two weeks before I supposed to propose; she just ended it....and just like that the life I had been building with her since I was 15 was over. I was so lost, I couldn't even remember the guy I was before I had met her....I did the worst thing I could do: let my life be defined by us but more by her.

After a few more stupid things I did that summer, the sleepless nights and endless days finally caught up with me. I was at the lowest point of my life, I needed a change. So what did I do? I picked up my things and ran away. I transfered halfway across the country to a place where I didn't know a soul. But it got so bad I couldnt' wait for the fall to come, so I ran away and hit the road for six weeks trying to find the guy that somewhere inside of me that didn't need someone standing next to me. I found him though...I found someone that is his own man and knows exactly what he wants and does everything in his power to go after it. But I also found a person that had a serious downfall, a person that always has a chip on his shoulder from what happened. A person that lacks the innocence that I yearn for above anything else.

The only reason why I even thought about writing all this down is because I'm at a loss again but the worse part is, I have no where to run this time. So much of me wants to confront and express but my heart might not be able to take the heartbreak that is coming undoubtedly. Stuck. So I was wondering what the 14 year-old Joey would have done? Well, its simple: he would have followed his heart and spoke what he was feeling a long time ago because he just didn't know better. My problem is on a level of complexity that it astounds me, but at the same time is the most simple of things in the world. The real question is: Can I look myself in the mirror the rest of my life if I choose not to live this time......

"We're never too young die, and we're never too old to live." -     J. Moore