I was going through some old stuff in my closet tonight after everyone left the Super Bowl Party and I found my Travel Log from the road trip of 2004. I was just scanning through and I found this:

July 6, 2004 - Sitting 7,200 ft. off the Valley Floor; Yosemite National Park, Ca.

Alive. This is what this trip has meant to me in one word. I'm free from the trials of Mableton and on my way to the Pacific in less than 2 days. And I feel like I've only taken a step away.

For the first time in my life I'm doing what I want to do and everyday seems like its the first one I've ever seen. I never want to let the world control me, only the Lord and only my heart. The beauty and the vastness of this place makes me see the artist in our creator and even more makes me see the insignificance of myself.  I love my life, I absolutely love it....

After reading that I started to wonder what happen to that boy that was standing on the edge of freedom just a mere year and half ago? I started leading with my head instead of my heart and its ended me jobless, carless, road tripless, and unpassionate.

I have let myself down in so many ways lately. I've become the biggest jerk I know and have done some of the most inconsiderate things I could ever imagine to a friend. And for the first time that I can remember, I have no idea who I am and where I am going. I thought the days of "self defining" were over for me, but at times when I lay here alone in bed; I feel like I never had a clue. I want so badly to return to that boy that was sitting there with a smile on his face and no where to go but to take another step away from home and everything familiar....