In A Relationship
Volleyball, hangin out with friends
lots but mainly country
Pearl Harbor, The Notebook
Thanksgiving and the little things in life...
November 22 2006
Its hard to think that like 10 or 11 years ago on today *the 22* Amy had just had surgery... We got talkin about this tonight at dinner and it really made me think of all I have to be thankful for. I mean I have a great family who would do anything for me, a great boyfriend who I am so lucky to have, and great friends who are always here for me when I need then. I know those sound like the usual things you are thankful for but I dont know for some reason it just feels right typin them up in this post
Have you ever thought about how something can influence something else... like when I was little I was jealous of Amy after she had her surgery because she got all of these cards and ballons and stuffed animals *all the stuff a little 5 year old would want* and so I would do stuff to get attention... Well now that Im grown up I still do stuff for attention because thats just who I am and how everyone is even if they wont admit it
I love it how when I was little I always wanted to be like my sisters and I would dress like them and I would act like them and do whatever they told me to do. Well now Im to the point and Im like I wanna be little again, I wanna wear sweats to school with no makeup and my hair a mess and not have anyone say anything to me
Today Becky and I got talkin about our old house in Indiana and all the little random things we remembered about it like how when I was little I would go out into our garden with my mom and we'd just sit out there and color and it would be our time while Amy and Becky were off at school. Or how when I was waitin with mom for Amy and Becks bus to arrive how Id talk to my imagine horse that would call me *it was really imaginary you see it was one of those little electronic things out infront of a Meijer store and for some reason Id talk to it every morning* But in life its the little things I miss the most
I love days like today
October 11 2006
September 22 2006
Ever been afraid that you wont have the same feelings that you once did...like you get so used to someone being there for you and you depend on them so much that you dont know what youd do if they left..... but your so dependent on them that you feel like maybe it would be better if they left for a while? Like when you first met them you got butterflies in your stomach and you were so happy when the end of 5th period rolled around cuz then youd get to see that person but now since you see them everday like 3 or 4 times and you talk to them every night...that feeling of butterflies isnt there anymore but you still like them?
Ever been afraid that youll look fat in your senior pictures or that you wont have a date to prom?
Ever afraid that you dont have any true friends? Like at Amy and Beckys graduation parties they had so many friends there and I was ok with that cuz I loved their friends and I hung out with all of them so I didnt need my own but now I look at it and I get so scared that I wont have friends at my graduation party...I have a really good friend but she goes to a different school and I hardly get to see her and like my best guy friend also goes to a differnt school and they have their own friends so who do I end up with? Wow that sounded stupid but I really dont care
Ever feel like...
September 10 2006
Ever feel like your putting on a show? Like you go to school and you put on your happy face because your around your friends all day and then you come home and then your happy face just goes away Like you have nothing to do like you sit around and watch tv and you wait for your boyfriend to call and then you hope that when he does itll be so yall can do something that night and when he finally calls its too late to do anything
I miss hangin out with my true friends who went to different schools...I mis comin home and being able to talk to Becky about my problems and complain when something goes wrong..... I miss feeling like Im a part of something
I fell like any more Im throwin on this fake smile and this fake attitude for every one else and I never getta do what I wanna do...I fell like everything I do is for some one else
Im sorry this is so sad but its how I feel any more
Its been a long time...
August 09 2006
August 27 2005
August 09 2005
August 04 2005
July 30 2005
July 29 2005
Luv ya Christi