Okay, so I'm really depressed right now, what's new? I just can't get over something, and the way it ended was so wrong, and due to a lot of lies. A lot was unfinished, and I have no real closure. I know I need to get over this, dwelling on it does nothing, besides making me feel down. I've just sort of been walking around trying to be happy, but failing. And I can't get a job, so I have way too much free time to just think, and so I just sleep all day so I won't have to.

after all this time my heart still breaks when i hear your name. not because i love you, but because of all the things we left unfinished and unsaid

And I did actually love someone and fall in love. And if you don't want to read this crap, then don't, but don't leave me rude comments. I just need to get this all out. And, yes, I've heard all the advice before. And nothing will fix this except for time.

I thought a change in location would help, but no. So, I'm sitting here, not knowing anyone really except for my roomie. I don't want anyone to know that I'm down. I want everyone to believe that life is great for me in my new place. I put on an extremely happy face when I go out. And you know, when I'm driving in my car listening to music, I truly am happy. But the thoughts of him still linger, everywhere I go, every moment. I don't know how to rid myself of them.

Basically, I've just been eating and sleeping and going to classes. I want a job so badly, and no one will hire me it seems.

Hopefully things will start looking up soon. After the MLK weekend, I'm applying for waitressing jobs. And this weekend I'm saying farewell to my best friend, Irina. I'm going home, seeing my brother, and getting a puppy! Monday I'm getting fitted for a dress for my firend Lindsey's wedding. Only thing is, I feel fat right now, and I'll probably lose inches before then.