How can I just turn off the switch and stop caring? Why do I care about someone who doesn't care about me? I've had three opporunities to have sex, and I've turned him down all three times. Only because he doesn't love me. And that's what I told him. And he agreed that he doesn't, and said that I don't love him either. My body wanted it so bad, and amazingly I still had the strength to say no. It's for the better because it will just make me even more let down. And he has another girl anyways, and is probably still in love with the old ones. And I want him to be happy no matter what, even though he's made me so unhappy. I really won't care so much, as long as the girl is better than me. That's all I ask. If I know for a fact she's more than me, then I will gracefully bow out. Then again, I don't want to compete anyways. I don't think a girl should have to compete. I'm not trying to be cocky, but guys should be competing over me, not me for their affection.

Why do girls always do this? Fall for a guy, and get so attached. I'm just left here broken hearted. I think sometimes that if I went on dates with other guys it would help. No guys ever ask though. And I don't know that I could because I'm so attached. He obviously doesn't care about hurting me though. With him, I always just get let down, and am upset.

I've changed so much because of this. I used to be strong-willed, and now it seems I have no will of my own.

EVERYONE was right, and I am FOOLISH!