Paradox

August 18, 2005I pay to do something I\'m not sure I really want to do.

I paid part of my MTSU bill today.

Doubting Thomas

August 17, 2005Just got the new Nickel Creek album (\"Why Should the Fire Die?\") off of iTunes. It is incredibly awesome. In my own trying to learn the mandolin, I don\'t know if hearing that stuff discourages me or prods me on to greatness.

I Just Can\'t Spit It Out

August 16, 2005I have a lot on my mind. I\'ve started three different blogs and I either couldn\'t complete them because I couldn\'t express myself in writing or I wrote soo much that it would wrap for several pages. I decided to scrap it all and just sit here and think some more.

The new semester is starting soon. Pray for MTSU, my returning to school, and most importantly for AO. With the lack of a central, permanent leader comes issues that I pray God will work out so AO doesn\'t implode. I want this to be the beginning of something magnificant, not the end of something cool.

Untitled

August 13, 2005Last night was intensely fun! My plans changed about four times and I was vehicleless which made for an interesting combination.

I started out going to the stock car races at Nashville Fair Grounds Speedway. I rode with my dad, brother, sister, uncle, cousin, and grandpa. On the way it rained a little so when we got there, all the races were cancelled. Someone said the jet driers were at the superspeedway for the race today.

Since the race wasn\'t going to happen, I asked dad to drop me off at the Wildhorse Saloon. Some friends from AO were there (Nathan, Caroline, Jenee, Cathrine (Caroline\'s sister), Colleen, Mandy, Jenny, and Caroline\'s cousin. I met up with them and had a great time. We ate, drank (soft drinks :-) ), and danced. Well, some danced... others (me) attempted. It was a very fun time.

I rode with Nathan Mace back to the boro where he dropped me off at Don Pablo\'s where I could meet up with Justin V., the Bonin\'s, Sara, and a few others. We went to an old rock quarry pond. It was absolutely amazing! It was also a very long drop to the still water. When we threw big rocks in, you could see the ripple spread out across the whole pond.

After that, Justin V. and I headed over to Natalie and Mallory\'s house. We just hung out and had a good time. Listen to a few guys sing (they were pretty good). Then he took me home.

One thing that last night stirred up inside me and I haven\'t been able to stop thinking about since is relationships, particularly one\'s with girls. It\'s been almost nine months since I broke up with my girlfriend. When I realized that she was not the girl I was supposed to marry, I began to wean, so to speak, from her and her from me. Amazingly, in the nine months, things haven\'t totally settled down with that. I have learned from that experience that I\'m definately not ready for a relationship, much less a serious one like that. However, I do like the companionship that came with the relationship. I don\'t know if it\'s healthy or not, but I liked it none the less.
Since I\'ve broken up with her, I\'ve tried to focus my energy on growing closer to Christ and closer to my friends. When I was dating, I realize now that I neglected a lot of my true friends. I\'m now trying to nurish all my friendships and be a true friend to them. I want to be there for them, to listen, to laugh, to cry, whatever. This seems to fill the companionship void almost completely, but there\'s still a tiny hole. For example, it would\'ve been nice to have a friend to join with on the dance floor at the Wildhorse. Lots to think about. Time to get back to work. We\'ll talk later.

Driving a Bobcat.

August 12, 2005I\'ve had a fun week. Wednesday, I removed stumps. Yesterday and today, I refinished the driveway. It looks good now. I\'m tired, but who cares? This all reminds me of my summers as a little boy out in Colorado. I wanted so badly to grow up, now I wish I could be at that place in my life again. So carefree.

In other news, I got my bill from MTSU today. I almost had a heart attack. Luckily they only want half right now, but that\'s still quite a chunk of change.