God has been testing me recently. I always have had these feelings that upset me, because I felt un-satisfied, and in question. Because I always feel like my life is un stable, like I know my foundation is God, and he will always be, Im just saying I hate roller coasters, but thats part of life, and you have to learn to flow with it. I just have always had a problem with depression since I was little, and its very hard to break, but hey who doesnt have depression these days, but I wish every day I felt happy, like sometimes like when sad things happen, I just sit and cry and cry and cry, but thats how I get my emotion out. But this past week I have realized, I can get through anything with God, and learn to not think of the sad things, but to remember all the good things. I watched this movie called "The End Of Spears" and the movie just touched me, I couldnt stop crying after it. And see I went to Ecuador (Quito) on a mission trip, but I never went to the jungle, where this movie was based on the 5 missionaries and how they lost their lives spreading Gods word. And just how they could shoot their guns in the air while those ecuadorians were spearing them bc they wanted those men to live bc they didnt know God, and they just shot their guns in the air smiling to God. And that just touched me, because one person can make a difference to so many people. Well when I was laying in my bed that night, I couldnt stop crying and thinking about it , and I just realized that God gave me a voice, to sing for him , to spread his word through music. I know I want to do that when Im older, but missions is something I definately want to go into, and I want to go out of the country to people out there who dont even hear of him , I want to go everywhere I can to tell people about God, and how he has touched and changed my life, and made me complete. Without him, I dont know where I would be . But all I know is, is that Im happy , because I know the only Father I need is him , and  with that feeling , it is satisfying. I hope everyone has their Cry for Jesus sometimes, because he is truly amazing.

I also just want to add that Im so extremely excited to see my best amigos in Tennessee, I L.O.V.E.  love yall :).

~sarah