Only 8 more pictures till I have 1000 pictures on phusebox! YAY!

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Break me open til you see

the other side thats part of me.

That's the only way I come alive,

When I'm broken - nothing to hide.

Littered trash and empty holes

wear away the tattered soul,

til' there's nothing left inside of me -

or what my life was meant to be.

But I see a face beyond my mirror

who offers grace - who's love is clear.

Who's power closes all the gaps

between the valleys untraced with maps.

Who's voice shakes thunder, angel voices

Who's hand is given for all our choices;

Who's whispers make the clouds disperse

as Heaven sings its mighty verse.

Tattered souls won't find a place

In a world stripped of it's grace.

Hard hearing words of mindless greed

take the place of eternal need.

But, Father, make my life a song,

and by my weakness make me strong.

Unchain me in this world of fear,

and make the far become the near.

-Mary Lauren

Hip Hip...HORRAY FOR MATTHEW DALE KITCHENS!

So I'm leaving today to go skiing with my family in Colorado for Easter. I'll be back monday!!! have a lovely Easter weekend. I'll write more later. Let God rock it...

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Its easy for me to get caught up in the word "best friend"...

When I was younger I told my mom that everyone was my best friend - I just thought everyone deserved to have one. As I got older things changed the kids that I thought were my best friends would always tease me...I'm not complaining though - it had to happen for a reason. But it still effects me today in a lot of ways. I always worry about pleasing my friends - my best friends. I find it easy to get down on myself over little things that I may be doing wrong. Right now I'm at a spot where the people I am the closest to already have their own best friend. It bothered me for a really long time because I felt unwanted. Even though that is totally untrue (I know you guys love me and I love you to DEATH) I still questioned why God was doing this. I knew it was for a reason though.

So I was sitting in my bath tub the other night and God just spoke to me (lol funny how that happens sometimes). He just simply told me that the best friend I was looking for was Him. No one else could fill that place. I realized that he wasn't so far away after all. I know as Christians we say a lot that Jesus is our best friend, but sometimes I don't think we live that way. I know I don't all the time. We don't talk to him like he's our best friend and we find it easier to brush him aside than to quiet down the rest of the world to let Him speak to us. It's easy to get caught up in calling God our best friend without taking the time to realize what the truly means. I have the most amazing friends here on earth (and I love you Andrea and Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!) but there is only one Father in Heaven who I can honestly say is the best friend I will ever have.

 Seek good and not evil, and live! You talk about GOD, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies being your best friend. Well, live like it, and maybe it will happen.

- Amos 5:14 (The Message)

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 http://kevan.org/johari?name=Mary+Lauren - please do this for me! thanks!

Besides the fact that i was extremely tired after getting home from a long day at mid-state, i have to say it was actually quite fun. Even though our director was a crazy mad man lol he managed to get 100 some odd teenagers to listen to him for the whole day and make some very beautiful music.

But I have to say that spending the day with my best friend Andrea was the best part by far. Have a wonderful day everyone! Let God rock it.

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I learned a lot about myself including what can happen when I haven't talked to my best friends in two days. lol.

I learned I still like to write notes...and fold them.

I found out I got a part in West Side Story!!! Yay...I am Graziella! and congrats to everyone in Chamber Choir...I love you guys and I am so proud of every single one of you.

Last night I babysat the cutest little boy in the whole world...ok lie...second only to Sam. Meet Patrick -



The cutest face ever.



He loved to pose for me everytime I had my camera out...wow I love this kid.



Giggles.



Patrick loves popcorn...this I learned very quickly.



ROAR! in his dinosour pajamas.





I asked him to make a silly face and this is what I got. thats a big WOW.



Intertained by Ice Age.



Patrick and Me.



Hands.



Comparing hands....oh the simple things in life make me smile.



Being a goob.

I love kids and their beauty amazes me.  That's another thing I've discovered this week - that beauty should be celebrated - not hidden. When I say celebrate I don't mean run around in skanky clothes and show off to get attention. I mean appreciate it for what it is - a gift from God. When someone compliments me about how I look or act I usually say thank you just because I think they are trying to be nice. I should really appreciate what they are saying and use it as a chance to glorify God in making me his creation. He wants us to notice all that he creates in us. Not just in a pretty smile or in a magnificent sunset, but also in the work he does through us - in everything that is life.

The king is enthralled by your beauty;  honor him, for he is your lord. - Psalm 45:11

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So many little things can be pushed in front of us to block Him out. Just last night while I was praying I found my mind wondering about a bad biology grade I had made earlier that day. The devil had found a way to trip me. And even though it wasn't a huge deal - I still fell for it. But there is a way to find God if you just take the time to look. What I mean is this - when you take a look at the little things that happen throughout your day you begin to notice God working in everything. An encouraging word, a thoughtful note, a good grade on a test that you expected to fail...these are all things that God uses to help you win the battle against sin. He is on your side and If He, the creator of all things, is on our side then who can be against us? It's all a matter of taking a few simple moments to consider how big our Savior really is. I have found this to be the best starting point in making God a closer part of your life. Letting your life be shaped by these simple moments and putting what you have learned into action is all God really asks of us.

But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. - Romans 1:19 [The Message]

Though the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us. - 2 Timothy 3:17 [The Message]

But you know God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. - Matthew 6:32 [The Message]

Edit: OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! GATLINBURG IS TOMORROW!!!!! i think i am going to pee in my pants with excitement...only not really...i think. ;-]

 I know, I know, you think you have the bestest friends too...but you dont know my best friends. lol. If I haven't already convinced you just listen to this -

I was informed earlier this week by Andrea, Lisa, and Courtney that Saturday was Birthday Surprise Day. Little did I know that it would involve being blindfolded, dressed in different clothes by Andrea, Lisa, and my mother, driven away by a mystery car (aka the Schrieber Shofer), taken to Domos',  and finally uncovering my eyes to find all my best friends standing before me yelling "SURPRISE!".

Wow this has been the best birthday ever.  To everyone who came - thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all and I don't know what I would do without you.

Andrea, Lisa, and Courtney - you know that I love you and that I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. The moments that we made today mean so much to me, and I will never ever forget them.

More pictures to come later!!!!

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"If you were as tall as a cloud you'd be a rainbow"

- Courtney Kelley

But then again where would all the excitement come in? I guess I am just to the point where I see my life right now and then I see where I am going and I just want to get there. I want to be able to say that I made it. I want high school to be out of the way and get to where I really want to go....but God is holding me back telling me that there are so many more lessons I have yet to learn. I see so much potential for the people around me but wonder if they have the same desire I do...do they just want to stay put where they are or do they actually want to go somewhere? I wonder if they see the world outside their own lives - outside the doors of high school... this makes me want to be a grown-up and a kid all at the same time. There are times when my thoughts seem so simple but come out so complicated.

God has thrown a lot of decisions at me lately and i guess thats why there are so many thoughts bouncing around inside my head right now...i think music/praying/friends are keeping me in good shape ...So here's a song I wrote that might explain me a little better...

What am I

Wakin up with the sunrise hitting my face...

You arms are peace that fill the space...

Rocking me to the sound of your lullaby ...

Wondering why I ever said, "Good-bye..."

What am I but a piece of your endless flow

Of love and saving grace?

What am I but a moment in the grains

Of sand that you have placed?

What am I but a portrait of your love

You painted on the cross?

What am I but a sinful heartknowing

Yo u bled to fill the cost?

What am I?

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?  Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. - Isaiah 55:2

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Edit: i made a big mess this time...its time to clean it up...

I got my school picures in the mail today...

All I can say is that I am very VERY depressed. If you are with me raise your hand... :-[

...In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors
I'm learning you
And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrrick's Day

I heart you.

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(i know i know- what i nerd right? but you know you did it too!). I would watch all the episodes and do all the cool karate action tricks. It was fun... Until one day i realized that i would rather just let God do all the power punching and use the super cool skills to fight off the bad guys. He's much better at it. So that's what He's been in my life lately. I've let him do all the stuff I cant do alone. And you know what? its kinda worked....God is definatly my pink power-ranger. And yes i said that because i am just that cool.

Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. - 2 Chronicles 29:12

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Children of Eden was magical to say the least. I am definatly in love with Belmont. Here are some pics me and Andrea took on the way there. Needless to say we got a little camera happy...

Fishy faces.

We are such nerds.

Sad that Lisa couldn't come.

GET OFF ME!!! hah jk.

We be Gansta yo.

My pretty pretty princess...

Just thinking...

Whoa buddy!

There it is...

I said NO PEEKING!

Just say, "NO!" to popped collars.

So tonight I went to play some hard core tennis with Matt, Jeff, and Josh. One word- intense...ok LIE. It intense for Jeff maybe but definatly not for the girl (me) who was embarrassing herself quite a bit. So then after that we met up with my Andrea (ahhh i love you girl) and Alex and went to see...you ready for this?...HARRY POTTER! yay- it was also very intense. I dont know how Jeff stands all this intensity... I think Matt saw me jump out of my seat a few times. hah... so in other news-

HAPPY TURKEY DAY EVERYONE!!! Its a great day to thank God for everything he's given you! yay! So i'm gonna get to bed now...this girl is tired and out of it. Let God rock it.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire. - Hebrews 12:29  

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Starting my day at 5 (thats am), I headed to my All-State audition. I was expecting the worst and praying for the best...

My day continued at 1:00 as the DBS girls arrived to take the constitution test- all 50 of them...hah but it was fun and Sarah Walls definatly made my night...

So here I am looking at the All-State state audition results and guess what...

I made All-State! Wow I'm definatly gonna give God the credit on this one because there is no other way this would have happened without him. And to add to that ANDREA MAKE MID-STATE AND ALL-STATE ALTERNATE!!!!!! geeez i am proud of you girl! So I guess this crazy day turned out to be quite alright. lol. I am so blessed and i love you all. Let God rock it.  

 You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear. - Deuteronomy 7:19

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to look at the list or to not look at the list-

THAT is the question.

-Mary Lauren

So much has happened since we last met- Went to the mall with Megan,  played Worst Case Scenario (the board game) with Andrea, Matt, Alex, and Jeff on saturday, and went to church with Lisa TWICE yesterday (count em 1,2!). I love Believers' Chapel and I want to go back soon! I have also discovered that dancing to car alarms is fun. I think Alex and Matt also discovered how to have a little too much fun at Marble Slab sunday night- Exhibit A...

Boys acting stupid...ahh the priceless moments...

Edit- All-State + auditioning at 8:33 on Saturday morning = SHEESH!.. and guess what musical we're doing...DUN DUN DA DUN- WEST SIDE STORY!!!

 Being a child means not having a care in the world...having no insecurities...believing everything you hear...seeing your dad as your ultimate hero...being able to fall down and then get up laughing...watching Mr.Roger's neighborhood was the best part of the day because that meant the news was about to come on which meant daddy was about to come home...

Too many experiences, too much pain, or simply too much knowledge spoils us into adulthood. I love kids, and not just their innocent smiles or the way their eyes just glow...I love their God-shaped hearts.

 And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:3 

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"He wondered, as he had many times wondered before, whether he himslef was a lunatic. Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one. At one time it had been a sign of madness to believe that the earth goes round the sun; today, to believe that the past is unalterable. He might be alone in holding that belief, and if alone, then a lunatic. But the thought of being a lunatic did not greatly trouble him; the horror was that he might also be wrong."

Ok so I came accross this quote while reading 1984 for my english class (yes I know...I am a total nerd), and I think it perfectly pertains to my faith- Believing in God doesn't really scare me...its more believing in something that everyone else thinks is extrememly difficult to digest- therefore, seeming to some, a lie. Being outnumbered makes you wonder if you really are right. I guess what I'm trying to say is that believing in a God that can't even be seen sometimes makes you a crazy lunatic, BUT does that necessarily make you wrong?

I don't think so.

 That's how God's Word vaults across the skies -from sunrise to sunset, Melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith.  - Psalm 19:6

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Friday me and Lisa went the siegel/blackman game. We saw Andrea filling up water bottles and told her she looked gangster with her puffy coat on. Me and Lisa got the last two watery hot chocolates...make us feel all warm and toasty inside. After the game Lisa and Andrea came over....gah it was so much stinkin fun. We laughed and laughed and ate goldfish...along with nilla wafers and cheese nips. In the morning Lisa had to leave but she left me sweetest note in the world. Me and Andrea went shopping later...YAY! Even though we were really sick and soooooo tired. I'm glad Andrea stuck it out! I am so lucky that God let me find these girl...the best friends a girl could ever have...

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And threefold cord is not quickly broken. - Ecclsiastes 4:12

I hope you guys have a great weekend...remember- BE SAFE AND EAT LOTS OF CANDY...mmmmm. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Let God rock it.

                                      

There are some things in life I just dont understand...

and some things I understand but dont want to....

But I have learned as long as  am in awe of my beautiful savior, nothing can stop me from giving him my all. Giving him my all for me means worshiping Him with every second of my life. Sometimes it's hard for me in all my busy-ness to stop and think a second about everything set in motion in my life. It's easy for me to take God for granted because I am so used to having Him there, I forget how weak my life would be without Him. It is funny how I always find something to complain about even when I am given everything I could ever need and more. This week, for me, has been about realizing life is a gift, even if it isn't exactly heaven. This gifts we are given today will always get us through tomorrow...even if tomorrow seems to never come.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 16:13

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change life shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created. - James 1:17

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In a black colored night,
I am the star who drowns out the darkness,
the diamond who lets the night
see her beauty...

On the days of angry wind,
I am the tree,
the lonely tree,
still standing tall
even when her leaves all fall...

In a day of burning sunshine,
I am the rain drop
who reveals
a rainbow-colored sky
full of wonderful hues...

Look deep enough to find
what God chose to leave behind-
a tiny miracle in a darkened sky,
a inch of wonder when branches are bare,
a fingerprint of grace in a shower of color...

This is the beauty of my life.

- by Mary Lauren

I'm not gonna lie- this week has been extremely stressful...especially this weekend.

I hate it when my mom just won't let me go and make my own decisions. She treats me like she wants to control my every move. I would rather her just let me go so i could make my own mistakes and learn from them. Needless to say i am grounded and cant do anything this weekend...which stinks because i really wanted to see Lauren, Andrea, and Lisa. gaaahhhhhhhh.