I am not lost.

I am just not sure where I am going right now.

I did not leave.

I am just not here right now.

I am not lieing.

I just can't see the truth right now.

I am not unstable.

I am just off balance right now.

I do not hate myself.

I just can't stand to look myself in the eyes right now.

     Don't you dare be so consided as to think this was caused by you. This occured to me long ago, when my actions reflected my heart, when I let them. Now I must hold back, not from fear of failure or the fear of anything else just simply the desire to...actually this goes against all of my real desires. I guess I am here floating down the river praying to God for an oar so I can help control this a little better. Has he not already done so though? It was indeed my choice. How many things have fallen so perfectly into place though. "Maybe it is hell that is calling me to the place that I call heaven." quote me on that.