The staff conference was great. We laughed alot, cried together. and prayed for everyone. As our "first lady" (the director's wife) said, being prayed for was like a drink of cool, refreshing water. I think it was a great time just to bond all of us together, old and new staff. I have been moved into higher leadership again (which feels weird since I've only been here for five months). I am now the one-on-one leader for one of our younger staff members, like a accountability leader or mentor. I am really honored, because they take these responsibilities very seriously and will never assign it if there is even the slightest bit of question. Well, you know how you would feel... that's how I feel.
Today, I am going to finally catch up on my expense reports, laundry, errands, and Sept. newsletter. The rest of the staff are in the theater preparing for tomorrow night's ball. I'm going with JohnO to the ball. We still need to find dates for a couple of girls, so if any guys in New York want to learn some ballroom dances and have a fun Sunday night, let me know.

I have finally found a place to live
Just like I never could before.
And I know I don't have much to give,
But soon I'll open any door.

Everybody knows the secret,
Everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a place to live
In the presence of the Lord.
In the presence of the Lord
-Eric Clapton

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecc. 3:11

I know there are days when I wonder very seriously if I made the right decision to come here, but then there are days like I've been having lately.
I love all our new staff. The base just seems to have taken a new breathe of life with them all here. And one fact that I really love is so many of them are musicians. So like the other morning as I was waking up, the sound of Chris on the drums and Brent on the guitar was drifting into my room. I might get tired of it eventually, but for now I love it.
Labor Day was filled with volleyball, New York pizza, fresh strawberries, climbing fences, lots of laughter, adorable babies, inflatable microphones, and so many other memories. Sunday night we all went to Olive Garden for Holly's and my birthday and laughed so hard I thought we would get kicked out. To think of all the fun we have had already just over the weekend, I can wait to see what the next two years are going to be like.
Now the rest of the weekend will be our staff conference. We will go over all the different areas of vision and commit them to prayer together again as a staff. And then Sunday night one of our leaders is throwing a formal ball for his wife's birthday. We all have to bring dates, which means we all have to pair off. Yikes! We all hate the idea, but will do it because we love Rebecca, the birthday girl.
"As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight." Psalm 16:3

I got this email today from some people ministering inside the Astrodome. It's really long, but worth the read when you have time.

Went to the assignment desk, and the leader told us to go to the
other end of the stadium, where we could help by registering
evacuees as they came in from the buses. The floor of this old
baseball stadium (previous home of the Houston Astros) was filled
with stretchers, and there were already people trying to sleep,
after traveling all night on the bus from New Orleans. But at
this point it's an emotionally cold perspective, a look from
afar, separated from human feelings of suffering, loss and despair.

All evacuees have to register, by filling out a one-pager, and
are given a pink "hospital" wristband to wear. I signed up an
18 year old girl, who also listed her baby daughter (one year old),
and her fiancée. The form asks whether the home was damaged,
and she said quite simply, "Every home is flooded and damaged
in New Orleans." She was an extraordinarily pretty girl.

Later came a man, age 39, with his dad, age 79. Just the two of
them had been living together in the Big Easy before the big
flood. He recounted that he had to swim a few miles to safety;
because the water was 10 ft deep in places (we saw pictures on TV
of flood levels up to the eaves of houses). The form asked
whether medical assistance was required. The old man said, yes,
he felt his body was infected by the "bad" water. Then added
he was a diabetic, and his son nodded. Then added he was on
blood pressure tablets, but had to leave his tablets when they
rushed to escape the flood. His son nodded. Then the old man
added he also had a bad heart, to which the son replied,
"I didn't know you had a bad heart!" Finally, the young man
announced that the worst of the swim was the bodies he
encountered in the water!

Another family I signed up had 6 children, ranging from 26 years
to 1 year. The husband had a daughter whose name started with
"Qu", but I couldn't get it, so I asked him to spell it.
But he couldn't, and he finally asked his wife to spell it,
after lamenting to himself, "That's terrible, when a man can't
spell his own daughter's name."

One of the frustrations is when an evacuee needs to know
something, and we volunteers don't know the answer.
Several evacuees had asked me where the showers were, but I
couldn't find anyone who knew. Finally I asked around
until I found them. Then I located a large pink poster sheet,
wrote the directions on it, and taped it above the main entrance.
Then I walked around and told all the volunteers, so they
could pass the info along if asked.

A volunteer asked me if I could take a very short man to the
men's bathroom. While I was processing this, the little
man explained that he was mostly blind, and wouldn't be
able to find his way back if he went alone. So I was glad to take
him. When we returned, he told me he was waiting for his brother
to come back, after going out to buy some drugs from a
drugstore. He asked me where he should wait, so that his brother
would find him. I did some analysis, and told him to latch onto
a stretcher near the "Lost and Found desk", and this represented
the best chance for his brother to find him. Many questions came
from folks who feel displaced and confused, and we discovered
this was an important way to help.

The "Lost and Found" desk refers to people who have lost loved
ones, or Houston residents who were trying to locate friends
who came on the buses. There are bulletin boards that filled up
continuously throughout the day, with little notes to lost
loved ones. As well, some folks walked around the stadium holding
up placards, with names on them, hoping the names would be seen
and recognized. Seemed like shades of 911.

Sandy walked up to me, sweating and disappointed. She was a very
large lady (size 4X she told me later). She said this wasn't
at all what she expected, and did not want to stay in the
Astrodome. She was arthritic, and would have a lot of trouble
getting in and out of a low-lying stretcher. She knew one family
in Houston, and felt they would have her stay there, but she
didn't have their telephone number. I called 411 on my cell phone,
found the family, but only got a voicemail. She cried. We
walked her to a chair, then got her a coke, and went to see
about a change of clothes, because all she got out with was
what she had on. I found a 5X shirt in the men's pile of clothes
being given out (the corporate sponsorship everywhere seemed
to be terrific). And we found a VERY large pair of men's jeans.
Sandy wanted to take a shower more than anything. Red Cross
had been giving out a bag of toiletries, but they were all gone.
I saw a family, with two youngsters, and several bags of toiletries,
and asked them if they could spare one bag for a lady who had
nothing. They graciously shared with Sandy, and I felt that
was pretty cool: one family of victims sharing with another.
I went back and tried to call Sandy's friends once again,
but still no reply. More tears. When we left the Astrodome,
we engaged another volunteer to be responsible for Sandy,
to call every hour to try to locate the friends. I felt
this was definitely the best solution.

Jessica was also very large, but I would say only about 25. She
waved me over as I walked past, and asked if I could bring her
some supper from upstairs because she couldn't walk. Second
Baptist, the largest Baptist church in Houston, stepped
up to the plate, and agreed to arrange food for the thousands of
evacuees in the Astrodome. This is where many of the churches
absolutely shine: they are practical as well as spiritual. She
had stepped on broken glass when she was escaping the flood in
New Orleans, and the foot was infected. We got her food, and she
"inhaled it." My friend got her a wheelchair, and rolled her
to the medical center.

When the nurse arrived, Jessica told him about the foot,
then leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I asked Jessica,
after the nurse was gone, whether she was diabetic. She said
"No, I have AIDS." After I wheeled her into the waiting area,
from where they would take her to the clinic, I asked how she
had escaped the flood. She said she waded for several miles
through water that was between her waist and her neck! During
that incredible wade, she said she came across six bodies!

The need at the Astrodome is very great. But we can make a
difference. Three very young girls ran up and warmly hugged my
friend as she was leaving: a neat little "thank you" at the
end of a hard day for us, but what has turned out to be a
tragedy in the lives of thousands of folks now crammed like
sardines onto the floor of a baseball stadium!

What a fun time right now at the base!
All the staff, new and old, are showing up in little spurts every day. And others who are wanting to come back but are standing at a place of faith right now due to finances, visas, etc. Coming home to Nina, Lisa, and Grace cuddled up on our couch. Running into Anita's house, squealing as I hug Kelsey so tight. Jumping into Alex's arms when he showed up tonight. Writing Katie encouragement as she is waiting on her visa. Counting down the days with Chris until he is here. Talking about what God can accomplish in New York and getting excited feeding off of everyone's faith.
It is amazing to me that less than one year ago, I didn't know any of these friends. And more amazing to me that they are all in my life now.
We had our first urban meeting since we've all returned from vacation and listening to ideas and projects spill out was exciting.
It is going to be a great fall.

I got back to NY a few days ago. For those of you who didn't know, I was on vacation in TN, mostly spending time with family. I know I didn't see most of you, but God really laid on my heart that I had to make choices and that family should be a priority.
London was so great. Working on the streets was a little hard. Some people were really receptive and some weren't at all. But for me the encourager, not evangelist, I enjoyed most of all just encouraging the church in London. We plan on returning at least once a year, and I am really, really looking forward to going back.
So now all the staff are trickling back to the base here on Long Island. Things are going to be really different around here. A lot of the staff are moving off base into apartments, which means it's going to be really quiet. Most of the next couple of weeks will consist mostly of meetings and getting this office in really good condition. I really enjoy being the office manager, and I am still getting little ideas about how to keep the office fun. Several people are talking about going to New Orleans for disaster relief. We'll see.

And I would give the world to tell Your story
Cause I know that You've called me
I know that You've called me
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You and I would go
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

Day 4 in London.
Okay, I thought very much that London would be a lot like New York. No one prepared me for how different it is here. Everything is called something different- potatoes are jackets, napkins are serviettes, let means rent, and so on and so on. And the worst part, no Mtn. Dew. Oh the agony.
No serious, although I've gone through a little culture shock, I am really enjoying London. The church here is sooo nice and so accomodating. Oddly enough, most of the people I've spent time with have been either American, Dutch, or Brazilian, and the only English person I've spent time with is Lisa, whom I spend all my time with in New York anyways.
Other things I've done, ate fish and chips in a park, rode in a black cab like in the movies, saw street performers in Covent Gardens, went to a pub, scrubbed down the YWAM base, went shopping at Teslo's and Argo's, put stickers on six hundred of our tracks, rode on a train, tube, and double decker bus. Ministry starts tomorrow. The church seemed really excited to join in with us. Tomorrow morning we are having an English fry up for breakfast, which means anything you can fry and eat for breakfast, it will be on your plate.
Cheeryo.

I leave for London tomorrow. Yeah! Besides the fact that I have had some major packing stress tonight.

It was so good to see so many of you last week. It feels so normal for you all in New York. I think each of you should pray about moving here!

I feel I am doing better spiritually than I have in years. Better might be a bad choice of words. I feel more alive than I've felt in years. I have a stronger, more motivated passion for Christ that I haven't had since early college. God is still challenging me in really deep areas which is hard but so worth it. But I know this, after the message that Aaron gave on Wednesday night at Brooklyn Tabernacle, I felt so euphoric about my life. Once you step out and really begin living that life in the deep end, the fears and uncertainties do take up a good chunk of your thoughts. The romance of your life escapes you. But listening to Aaron I felt it again. The reason why I left TN and came out here. God has given us one life on this earth, and we can choose to follow Him wherever whenever. Or we can live our lives quietly and peacefully and it will probably end up good. But the other life ends up unbelievably great. To copy my German friend here, Nina, who has been quoting Frost a lot lately, I've chosen the road less traveled by and it's made all the difference.

I can't decide if I liked the movie or not. I compared it the entire time to the old one, and I don't think I liked Johnny Depp in it. Gene Wilder made Willie Wonka seem smarter or something. And so many of the original scenes were rushed or cut out. I know, I know, though, it was more accurate to the book.

My dad is passing a kidney stone tonight. Pray for him. Guess it runs in the family.

And I will say that I had a severe case of homesickness today for Murfreesboro and all of you guys. I love you and all of you coming to paint the town, I'll see you on Wednesday.

Today I drove a 15-passenger van around Manhattan. And I have been told that I drive like I've lived here forever. Pretty good for a girl who failed her driver's license... twice. (shhh! that's a secret!)
Yesterday I took the team to the Bronx for ministry. Have I explained about teams? We host youth groups and church mission teams here and set up ministry for them to do in the city for a week. So the youth group here this week is from Winconsin and they are fun. Like I was saying, yesterday we went to the Bronx and today we went to Times Square for ministry. It was fun and I did it with all my heart. But it's tough ministry and not what I would choose to do. Be faithful with the little, right? So I need to be faithful in the ministry God has placed before me until I can fully work on ministry that God has created me for.

As of last night, I can officially say that I have preached in an all black gospel church in downtown Brooklyn.
It was so crazy. We had no idea what to expect. We were invited with little to no instructions about what to do. "Just let the Spirit lead," was our only info. When we walked into the doors of the church, I thought what in the world have we gotten into.
The church was one room, probably 20 ft by 40 ft., one middle aisle with pews that would hold about 4 adults each pushed against the walls. There was a pulpit and chairs on the stage, which we were directed to sit in. No AC, fans going, and the flourescent lights in the ceiling were in the shape of a cross. And of course, a small band, drums, keyboard, guitar crammed in the front right corner. They danced and shouted and we loved it. It was just like in the movies when a white person goes to a black church and sticks out like a sore thumb. I almost expected the band to kick in while we were speaking. And I so bad wanted to shout "Hallelujah!" from the stage and jump up and down. You know you would want to too.
So that's my big story for the moment. Too much fun.

photo from ashfly

This has to be the cutest baby in the entire world! Kiersten, my leader's little girl.

God gave me such an amazing day today. A group of us went to Ellis Island because, well... we've never gone and we should have. I knew it was something important in my head, but not necessarily in my heart.
Until I got there.
At first the pictures blown up on the walls of the museum looked like the pictures I had seen all my life. But within ten minutes, there were so many emotions rolling around in me. Their faces changed. They didn't seemed hard and distant. As I stared at a picture of one couple, they seemed familiar, soft, like people I would like to know. After that, the museum came to life. It wasn't about me learning about this building, but about them. Polish laborer. German immigrants. Russian baker. Armenian girl. Such blank titles under face after face after face. My interest was peaking higher than my mind anticipated. I wanted to know more. What did they feel? What did they think? Was it scary like anyone would expect it to be, or were there other emotions that took them by surprise? What did the voices sound like echoing through the Registry Room or changing area or living quarters for those detained? Babies crying. Guards and inspectors shouting. Could they close their eyes and still hear it years later? What relationships were made in those rooms? Business partners. Neighbors. Best friends until the end.
Room after room God led me through the three floors of exhibits. He would direct me. "Go back and read that one paragraph." "Look over here." "Close your eyes and listen." "Stop and pray." "Look a little closer at that picture." "You're seeing it, Ashley. What I brought you here to see."
America is not about one country, it's about all the countries. As I walked from room to room, something that I always knew but never understood finally clicked inside me. There is no such thing as an American. America is a melting pot, which means we are all mutts. Mixed breeds. There is no true line. No pure heritage. We all originate from family from another country. And those ancestors are from family from another country. And another country. And another country. And another country. Until we all are standing in one place: the Garden. And in my mind's eye, as we stand there looking at one another, different colors, different shapes, different languages, different cultures, we realize something that we have painfully forgotten in our hearts.
We are all the same.

Guess what everybody???
I'M GOING TO LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's our first Go Team trip. Go Teams are short term mission trips organized by YWAM bases. After everything that happened yesterday in London, we have been in prayer and God told us this morning to GO! Soooo, we are planning on the second week in August. That gives us one month to organize and prepare for this trip. Welcome to YWAM. I'm so excited!

Watched a movie with Lisa, 55 newsletters, Bekki made me cry, 7 13 year olds ate hamburgers with me, Jessica came back for the night, JohnO burnt his arm, Dan showed off, watched fireworks with an English girl ironically, an outdoor market at the gas station, strapping Chucky the psycho clown to the top of the van, ice cream, cheesy 80's music, smell of fireworks, McDonald's, noisy muffler, Serendipity, read myself to sleep.

Happy 4th.

Dance camp started last night. We have 8 students total this week, mostly junior high kids. And then there are two seniors in high school. I feel for these two girls, and think they are strong to want to do this camp with so many younger students. HYPER younger students.
Tonight we are having a cook-out. Woo-hoo. It will be fun to hang out. I always enjoy that.
We saw Bewitched the other day. We actually found a theater out here that only charges $5 for matinees, compared to the usual $7 anywhere else on the island. But we also got what we paid for. Tiny, little theater. The movie was cute, that's about all I can say about it.
I have slept a TON this weekend. It amazes me that I still slept in until 11 today. I think I will borrow Bekki's Friends DVDs and watch the season when Monica and Chandler hook up while I finish my newsletters. I never got to see that one.
Happy birthday to my best friend in the whole world, Morgan!

So today was SUCH a great day. My missions team had a meeting with New Hope. It was a great meeting and then we had lunch with Nathan and Maria. I loved seeing my YWAM friends talking and laughing with M'boro friends. Honestly, what I enjoyed the best was the simple fact that we are actually doing something besides sitting around the office. I am used to being like ten steps into a project by now, but since I am not the head leader, I have to wait and wait and wait on the leadership. So anyways, seeing TN friends was the "home again" part.
When we got back to the base, my small group leader took me and another girl out for dinner. We had a great time talking, but at the end of the meal, my leader received a call from her babysitter. There was a really bad wreck at the end of our street and she wanted to make sure we were okay. The babysitter also said she had yet to get a hold of my leader's husband. I have to say my leader held herself together for while really well, but by the time we got to the base and she saw the cop cars and the road blocked off, she started to visibly worry. We walked with her down to the wreck site to make sure it was not her husband. It wasn't. But it was so emotional, all of us were shedding tears at some point. By the time we walked back to her house on the base and saw her kids come running into her arms and her husband standing on the sidewalk with the baby in the stroller, something had changed inside me.
Since I returned here in April, I have always felt like I am supposed to be here. But tonight I really felt that I was a part of something. Standing outside the base with Anita and her family laughing and watching Anita wrap her arms around her husband. My roommates stopping and chatting as they are walking in from the parking lot. Anita sister, Rebecca, hollering from her front door for her husband, Dan to come inside and help her put their kids to bed. Rebecca's one-year-old yelling "Anty Tita!" and Anita running over and scooping him up. And all of a sudden it rushed over me. The beauty of the place were I live. The community and family atmosphere of it all. 14 other crazy single young adults living in bunk beds in an old church and right outside our front door, two homes filled with two amazing families. I am blessed to be here. I am lucky to be a part of their lives. I already have so many people in my life that I love and cherish more than I can express, so for that circle to grow again, I am amazed. Humbled. Excited. Rich.
Thank you Lord. You are too good to this selfish, self-righteous child.

So I watched my first soccer game tonight with all my European friends. I told Joost that I wanted to start following soccer because I love watching sports. So after two hours of watching Brazil and Argentina, I decided that I won't be following soccer. The players are whiny and it is so slow! I think I will stay with watching basketball and football.

"Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession." Psalm 2:8

Well, we don't want to possess the nations, but we do want God to be glorified in them. This morning during our staff intercession time, God was depositing in us as a base a heart for the nations. One girl got a picture in her mind during prayer of a torch that was thrown into the air, and as she watched it come back down, she knew once it hit the ground, it would ignite everything around it. When it did hit, shockwaves of fire rippled in all directions. Another staffer brought up the story of Elijah on Mt. Carmel. Initially in YWAM the vision was to see tons of young people go to every nation like waves crashing on the shores. Like fire from heaven that lapped up the water around Elijah's altar to prove Jehovah as Sovereign God, we prayed that God would send fire among the waves of young people with YWAM. And He would be proven unmistakenly powerful and sovereign in all nations.
As for our base, the NY base director Nick felt God instruct him weeks ago to resurrect the Go Teams ministry at our base- short term foreign mission trips for anyone to participate in, but organized by specific YWAM bases. I believe God is preparing our hearts for this ministry again, and it will begin with a burden for the nations.
I am anxious to begin planning our first trip. Thailand, Bangladesh, Haiti, Mongolia, Hong Kong all have been mentioned. Hopefully we will go to all of them and many, many more. I am excited just talking about it!

Today I finally was able to do some ministry. Yeah! I do consider my work in the office as ministry, but at the same time, it is just different to be out on the streets among the people.
We took the Frontier Missions DTS to Brooklyn for prayer stations today. I prayed with a woman named Eloisa. She was looking for a church for her son to join. He is addicted to crack. As we continued to talk, she mentioned that her daughter had been killed by a drunk driver 14 years ago. We talked for a minute about that before she said good-bye and went on with her life. That's such an amazing part of prayer stations. For a brief moment, you enter into this total stranger's life and hear their problems. You take it to the Throne, which is usually an emotional and bonding experience. And the they are gone. Just a moment, yet weeks later that person will enter into your mind to lift in prayer again.
But as Eloisa and I talked about her daughter, we shared how although life goes on after a loss like that, the pain never leaves. 14 years later, she still cries and hurts. And she always will. That is not unhealthy. That is normal. Unexpected grief leaves a deep scar, but instead of the skin being numb, it is the opposite. It is sensitive to touch for the rest of your life. Even after you stop wincing in public or protecting the area, you still feel the pain. No one else knows, and honestly, it's not necessary for them to know. You have to learn how to cope with your scar and go on with life. But the pain, it never leaves.
Tonight was also the first night of the Billy Graham Crusade. You can read my xanga site to learn more about my experience there.