And I would give the world to tell Your story
Cause I know that You've called me
I know that You've called me
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You and I would go
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

Day 4 in London.
Okay, I thought very much that London would be a lot like New York. No one prepared me for how different it is here. Everything is called something different- potatoes are jackets, napkins are serviettes, let means rent, and so on and so on. And the worst part, no Mtn. Dew. Oh the agony.
No serious, although I've gone through a little culture shock, I am really enjoying London. The church here is sooo nice and so accomodating. Oddly enough, most of the people I've spent time with have been either American, Dutch, or Brazilian, and the only English person I've spent time with is Lisa, whom I spend all my time with in New York anyways.
Other things I've done, ate fish and chips in a park, rode in a black cab like in the movies, saw street performers in Covent Gardens, went to a pub, scrubbed down the YWAM base, went shopping at Teslo's and Argo's, put stickers on six hundred of our tracks, rode on a train, tube, and double decker bus. Ministry starts tomorrow. The church seemed really excited to join in with us. Tomorrow morning we are having an English fry up for breakfast, which means anything you can fry and eat for breakfast, it will be on your plate.
Cheeryo.

I leave for London tomorrow. Yeah! Besides the fact that I have had some major packing stress tonight.

It was so good to see so many of you last week. It feels so normal for you all in New York. I think each of you should pray about moving here!

I feel I am doing better spiritually than I have in years. Better might be a bad choice of words. I feel more alive than I've felt in years. I have a stronger, more motivated passion for Christ that I haven't had since early college. God is still challenging me in really deep areas which is hard but so worth it. But I know this, after the message that Aaron gave on Wednesday night at Brooklyn Tabernacle, I felt so euphoric about my life. Once you step out and really begin living that life in the deep end, the fears and uncertainties do take up a good chunk of your thoughts. The romance of your life escapes you. But listening to Aaron I felt it again. The reason why I left TN and came out here. God has given us one life on this earth, and we can choose to follow Him wherever whenever. Or we can live our lives quietly and peacefully and it will probably end up good. But the other life ends up unbelievably great. To copy my German friend here, Nina, who has been quoting Frost a lot lately, I've chosen the road less traveled by and it's made all the difference.

I can't decide if I liked the movie or not. I compared it the entire time to the old one, and I don't think I liked Johnny Depp in it. Gene Wilder made Willie Wonka seem smarter or something. And so many of the original scenes were rushed or cut out. I know, I know, though, it was more accurate to the book.

My dad is passing a kidney stone tonight. Pray for him. Guess it runs in the family.

And I will say that I had a severe case of homesickness today for Murfreesboro and all of you guys. I love you and all of you coming to paint the town, I'll see you on Wednesday.

Today I drove a 15-passenger van around Manhattan. And I have been told that I drive like I've lived here forever. Pretty good for a girl who failed her driver's license... twice. (shhh! that's a secret!)
Yesterday I took the team to the Bronx for ministry. Have I explained about teams? We host youth groups and church mission teams here and set up ministry for them to do in the city for a week. So the youth group here this week is from Winconsin and they are fun. Like I was saying, yesterday we went to the Bronx and today we went to Times Square for ministry. It was fun and I did it with all my heart. But it's tough ministry and not what I would choose to do. Be faithful with the little, right? So I need to be faithful in the ministry God has placed before me until I can fully work on ministry that God has created me for.

As of last night, I can officially say that I have preached in an all black gospel church in downtown Brooklyn.
It was so crazy. We had no idea what to expect. We were invited with little to no instructions about what to do. "Just let the Spirit lead," was our only info. When we walked into the doors of the church, I thought what in the world have we gotten into.
The church was one room, probably 20 ft by 40 ft., one middle aisle with pews that would hold about 4 adults each pushed against the walls. There was a pulpit and chairs on the stage, which we were directed to sit in. No AC, fans going, and the flourescent lights in the ceiling were in the shape of a cross. And of course, a small band, drums, keyboard, guitar crammed in the front right corner. They danced and shouted and we loved it. It was just like in the movies when a white person goes to a black church and sticks out like a sore thumb. I almost expected the band to kick in while we were speaking. And I so bad wanted to shout "Hallelujah!" from the stage and jump up and down. You know you would want to too.
So that's my big story for the moment. Too much fun.

photo from ashfly

This has to be the cutest baby in the entire world! Kiersten, my leader's little girl.

God gave me such an amazing day today. A group of us went to Ellis Island because, well... we've never gone and we should have. I knew it was something important in my head, but not necessarily in my heart.
Until I got there.
At first the pictures blown up on the walls of the museum looked like the pictures I had seen all my life. But within ten minutes, there were so many emotions rolling around in me. Their faces changed. They didn't seemed hard and distant. As I stared at a picture of one couple, they seemed familiar, soft, like people I would like to know. After that, the museum came to life. It wasn't about me learning about this building, but about them. Polish laborer. German immigrants. Russian baker. Armenian girl. Such blank titles under face after face after face. My interest was peaking higher than my mind anticipated. I wanted to know more. What did they feel? What did they think? Was it scary like anyone would expect it to be, or were there other emotions that took them by surprise? What did the voices sound like echoing through the Registry Room or changing area or living quarters for those detained? Babies crying. Guards and inspectors shouting. Could they close their eyes and still hear it years later? What relationships were made in those rooms? Business partners. Neighbors. Best friends until the end.
Room after room God led me through the three floors of exhibits. He would direct me. "Go back and read that one paragraph." "Look over here." "Close your eyes and listen." "Stop and pray." "Look a little closer at that picture." "You're seeing it, Ashley. What I brought you here to see."
America is not about one country, it's about all the countries. As I walked from room to room, something that I always knew but never understood finally clicked inside me. There is no such thing as an American. America is a melting pot, which means we are all mutts. Mixed breeds. There is no true line. No pure heritage. We all originate from family from another country. And those ancestors are from family from another country. And another country. And another country. And another country. Until we all are standing in one place: the Garden. And in my mind's eye, as we stand there looking at one another, different colors, different shapes, different languages, different cultures, we realize something that we have painfully forgotten in our hearts.
We are all the same.

Guess what everybody???
I'M GOING TO LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's our first Go Team trip. Go Teams are short term mission trips organized by YWAM bases. After everything that happened yesterday in London, we have been in prayer and God told us this morning to GO! Soooo, we are planning on the second week in August. That gives us one month to organize and prepare for this trip. Welcome to YWAM. I'm so excited!

Watched a movie with Lisa, 55 newsletters, Bekki made me cry, 7 13 year olds ate hamburgers with me, Jessica came back for the night, JohnO burnt his arm, Dan showed off, watched fireworks with an English girl ironically, an outdoor market at the gas station, strapping Chucky the psycho clown to the top of the van, ice cream, cheesy 80's music, smell of fireworks, McDonald's, noisy muffler, Serendipity, read myself to sleep.

Happy 4th.

Dance camp started last night. We have 8 students total this week, mostly junior high kids. And then there are two seniors in high school. I feel for these two girls, and think they are strong to want to do this camp with so many younger students. HYPER younger students.
Tonight we are having a cook-out. Woo-hoo. It will be fun to hang out. I always enjoy that.
We saw Bewitched the other day. We actually found a theater out here that only charges $5 for matinees, compared to the usual $7 anywhere else on the island. But we also got what we paid for. Tiny, little theater. The movie was cute, that's about all I can say about it.
I have slept a TON this weekend. It amazes me that I still slept in until 11 today. I think I will borrow Bekki's Friends DVDs and watch the season when Monica and Chandler hook up while I finish my newsletters. I never got to see that one.
Happy birthday to my best friend in the whole world, Morgan!

So today was SUCH a great day. My missions team had a meeting with New Hope. It was a great meeting and then we had lunch with Nathan and Maria. I loved seeing my YWAM friends talking and laughing with M'boro friends. Honestly, what I enjoyed the best was the simple fact that we are actually doing something besides sitting around the office. I am used to being like ten steps into a project by now, but since I am not the head leader, I have to wait and wait and wait on the leadership. So anyways, seeing TN friends was the "home again" part.
When we got back to the base, my small group leader took me and another girl out for dinner. We had a great time talking, but at the end of the meal, my leader received a call from her babysitter. There was a really bad wreck at the end of our street and she wanted to make sure we were okay. The babysitter also said she had yet to get a hold of my leader's husband. I have to say my leader held herself together for while really well, but by the time we got to the base and she saw the cop cars and the road blocked off, she started to visibly worry. We walked with her down to the wreck site to make sure it was not her husband. It wasn't. But it was so emotional, all of us were shedding tears at some point. By the time we walked back to her house on the base and saw her kids come running into her arms and her husband standing on the sidewalk with the baby in the stroller, something had changed inside me.
Since I returned here in April, I have always felt like I am supposed to be here. But tonight I really felt that I was a part of something. Standing outside the base with Anita and her family laughing and watching Anita wrap her arms around her husband. My roommates stopping and chatting as they are walking in from the parking lot. Anita sister, Rebecca, hollering from her front door for her husband, Dan to come inside and help her put their kids to bed. Rebecca's one-year-old yelling "Anty Tita!" and Anita running over and scooping him up. And all of a sudden it rushed over me. The beauty of the place were I live. The community and family atmosphere of it all. 14 other crazy single young adults living in bunk beds in an old church and right outside our front door, two homes filled with two amazing families. I am blessed to be here. I am lucky to be a part of their lives. I already have so many people in my life that I love and cherish more than I can express, so for that circle to grow again, I am amazed. Humbled. Excited. Rich.
Thank you Lord. You are too good to this selfish, self-righteous child.

So I watched my first soccer game tonight with all my European friends. I told Joost that I wanted to start following soccer because I love watching sports. So after two hours of watching Brazil and Argentina, I decided that I won't be following soccer. The players are whiny and it is so slow! I think I will stay with watching basketball and football.

"Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession." Psalm 2:8

Well, we don't want to possess the nations, but we do want God to be glorified in them. This morning during our staff intercession time, God was depositing in us as a base a heart for the nations. One girl got a picture in her mind during prayer of a torch that was thrown into the air, and as she watched it come back down, she knew once it hit the ground, it would ignite everything around it. When it did hit, shockwaves of fire rippled in all directions. Another staffer brought up the story of Elijah on Mt. Carmel. Initially in YWAM the vision was to see tons of young people go to every nation like waves crashing on the shores. Like fire from heaven that lapped up the water around Elijah's altar to prove Jehovah as Sovereign God, we prayed that God would send fire among the waves of young people with YWAM. And He would be proven unmistakenly powerful and sovereign in all nations.
As for our base, the NY base director Nick felt God instruct him weeks ago to resurrect the Go Teams ministry at our base- short term foreign mission trips for anyone to participate in, but organized by specific YWAM bases. I believe God is preparing our hearts for this ministry again, and it will begin with a burden for the nations.
I am anxious to begin planning our first trip. Thailand, Bangladesh, Haiti, Mongolia, Hong Kong all have been mentioned. Hopefully we will go to all of them and many, many more. I am excited just talking about it!

Today I finally was able to do some ministry. Yeah! I do consider my work in the office as ministry, but at the same time, it is just different to be out on the streets among the people.
We took the Frontier Missions DTS to Brooklyn for prayer stations today. I prayed with a woman named Eloisa. She was looking for a church for her son to join. He is addicted to crack. As we continued to talk, she mentioned that her daughter had been killed by a drunk driver 14 years ago. We talked for a minute about that before she said good-bye and went on with her life. That's such an amazing part of prayer stations. For a brief moment, you enter into this total stranger's life and hear their problems. You take it to the Throne, which is usually an emotional and bonding experience. And the they are gone. Just a moment, yet weeks later that person will enter into your mind to lift in prayer again.
But as Eloisa and I talked about her daughter, we shared how although life goes on after a loss like that, the pain never leaves. 14 years later, she still cries and hurts. And she always will. That is not unhealthy. That is normal. Unexpected grief leaves a deep scar, but instead of the skin being numb, it is the opposite. It is sensitive to touch for the rest of your life. Even after you stop wincing in public or protecting the area, you still feel the pain. No one else knows, and honestly, it's not necessary for them to know. You have to learn how to cope with your scar and go on with life. But the pain, it never leaves.
Tonight was also the first night of the Billy Graham Crusade. You can read my xanga site to learn more about my experience there.

Aahh, the music of Mr. Softee is floating through our window. Tennessee needs ice cream trucks.

I love you.

So before Sunday, I was living in a room 12' x 18' with two other girls and no windows. It is affectionately referred to as "the windowless room." But finally Sunday night, once the big team left, we were able to move back into the bigger room. Yeah! There is so much more space and it just feels nicer and cozier in here.
I also found out in these past few days that I have mandatory vacation time in August. Two weeks that I am not supposed to work, and most everyone else on the base will return home. So I guess I will be coming to TN? It will be good to get my winter clothes anyways. I don't know what I will do actually, but I am the obsessive organizer that wants to figure that out right now. Two weeks to do whatever I want. Well, not whatever, I do live on a missionary budget.

Today a youth group of 84 left the base. Just to give you an idea, we have a total of around 50 beds here at the base and already 14 staff living here. So there were people sleeping everywhere. Over a hundred people living in one little building can create a big mess and lots of noise. But the team had a great time doing ministry in the city, and I enjoyed just being around teenagers again. However, we all let out a sigh of relief when they left. Things will be normal again until the next team of 55 comes in a few weeks!

So when I decided to come back here to New York, I was acting mostly out of obedience. I knew my place in M'boro was closed and I knew God had opened a door for me in NY. But now that I have been here a few months, it has surpassed my expectations. I have been back for two months, but I feel like I've been here forever.
For anyone who doesn't know, the training school I was supposed to do was cancelled, so my plans majorly changed and I have joined the staff here. That is a two year commitment. I have been given the position of office manager, which I am very flattered to receive a higher position right from the beginning. Past that, I am on three different ministry teams: Smithtown (where we live), urban missions (NYC), and Go Teams (short term foreign trips). So I definitely stay busy.
My friendships here have gotten deeper and I love just hanging out here with everyone. It is different to have a whole new life out here that many of you don't know. I want to bring you all up here or bring them to TN to meet you guys. So if any of you want to make a trip to NY, give me a call and you can stay with me here at the base! (Becca and Rachael, you know I'm talking to you)