Gentle Reminder

Desperately, helplesly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased would you be.
You would have what you want -- But you would not know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save (for a start)
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
but, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT."

Not Yet

Sometimes I ask the question, "My Lord is this Your will?"
It's then I hear You answer me, "My Precious Child...be still."

Sometimes I feel frustrated, cause I think I know what's best.
It's then I hear You say to me, "My Busy Child...just rest."

Sometimes I feel so lonely and I think I'd like a mate.
Your still small voice gets oh so clear and says "My Child...please wait."

"I know the plans I have for you, the wondrous things you'll see.
If you can just be patient, Child, and put your trust in Me.

I've plans to draw you closer. I've plans to help you grow.
There's much I do which you cannot see and much you do not know.

But know this, Child...I LOVE YOU. You are precious unto Me.
Before I formed you in the womb, I planned your destiny.

I've something very special I hope for you to learn.
The gifts I wish to give you are gifts you cannot earn.

They come without a price tag but not without a cost;
At Calvary, I gave My Son, so you would not be lost.

Rest Child, and do not weary of doing what is good.
I promise I'll come back for you just like I said I would.

Your name is written on My palm, I never could forget;
Therefore, do not be discouraged when my answer is ... "Not Yet."

yesterday's after school program was a bit odd.  previously i had not sent anyone home, but yesterday i sent 9 ladies home.  9...in one day!  it was because they were all late.  so i had them call their parents and tell them that they were leaving graffiti and coming home-and then i escorted them out of the building.  i ended up with 2 ladies in the program at the end of the day.  think about it...i would've had 11 there yesterday with absolutely no help.  sometimes God looks out for us in unexpected ways.  i mean, i hate to send them home-i want them at the program.  but i honestly wouldn't have been able to handle all 11 ladies yesterday with no help.  blessings in disguise :)

i started out the week staying overnight out in jersey (thanks susan).  it was exciting to be in a car again and going to IHOP-rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity :)  and we finally had our first meeting at BMCC with a definite direction of where the conversation was going.  it was a great time, and we're meeting earlier next week so that their friends can join us.  did i mention, i'm not a morning person?  again, blessings in disguise :)

and the official countdown...14 days

so life has been quite busy lately...definitely fun and exciting, but very busy.

and i got hit on the head this morning by the falling shower curtain rod-OUCH :(

hmm...so i wrote and then it got deleted so i will not write again (at least not for now)...bye bye

this was posted by a friend of mine, and i think it speaks the heart of most Christians of this generation:

I was hungry, and you formed a debate team and debated the pros and cons of world hunger.
I was imprisoned, and you crept away busily hoping someone would somehow find time to visit me.
I was poorly clothed, and in your mind you disapproved of my lack of style.
I was homeless, and you preached about the spiritual shelter of the church.
I was lonely, and you left me alone to pray for me.
You seem so content, so pleased with your Christianity, but I'm still hungry and lonely, and cold.
--Anonymous

Dad, make me into someone who fights for those who don't have a voice, or can't find it anymore, or don't have the strength to stand up with those who do. Change my heart to not be humiliated to share my heart with or for "the least of these", and help me see You in the least likely to find.

since i'm currently watching THE FOG (the 1980 version) and i'm scared...i thought i'd do something else as well. so here i am:

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? eyes

2. How much cash do you have on you? i've got some coins, does that count

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? best

4. Favorite planet? jupiter

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? jennifer benardi


6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? sweet home alabama


7. What shirt are you wearing? samford hoodie and under that a sae jong staff shirt

8. Do you "label" yourself? no, but others call me ghetto

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? new balance

10. Bright or Dark Room? bright

11.
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?


12. Ever "spilled the beans"? it's possible

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, oh wait, nevemind-i don't know

14.
What did the last text message in your cell phone say? how much were those milkshakes we got for ur encouragment-from stephanie (which i just realized i never replied)

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? i don't ever see them cuz of the amazing pop-up blocker

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? i don'tk now

17. Who told you they loved you last? my mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? my boots

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? none, but i kinda need some...for my cold

20.
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none that i know of

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 21

22. Your worst enemy? uhh, i don't know

23.
What is your current desktop picture? me, karen, and katie at cw at the high ropes course

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? (someone said call me when you wake up tomorrow and i said) ok, i'll call you around 3, i'm out

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? major regret

26. Do you love/ like someone? is this a trick question


has anyone else seen those uno commercials? since when do card games have their own commercials? seriously...

don't think i'm complaining or anything...it's just all around me. it rained for the full 48 hours we were at lake pinacle this weekend. although i wasn't fond of the rain at the camp, i sure was glad i wasn't having to endure it in the city. and cuz of the fog i wasn't really able to see too much of nature. but it was refreshing, nonetheless.

so the yankees and red sox are out. i'd like to see the cardinals and white sox in the world series...we'll know the two teams in just a few short days.

oh, i enjoyed my first real holiday off today. went to target and picked up some items, such as food and a bag and snow boots :)

and it's back to work tomorrow! can't wait for the weekend-church retreat...

do ya ever have one of those weeks were everything goes wrong? and ya just kinda sit back and wonder what you're really doing here? well, this past week was certainly NOT one of those weeks for me!

dude, this week has been wonderful. it was refreshing to not be in nursery or be teaching a bible study on sunday. besides running around getting permission slips copied on a broken copier and things like that, i was able to just enjoy being at church. the after school program on monday stretched me a bit. i realized that even though the ladies don't have any real discipline problems, i still can't run the whole thing by myself. i need help! and then tuesday and wednesday were both wonderfully smooth days for the after school program. a few of the highlights:

*the ladies are starting to embrace the devotion time and have a ton of questions
*angel listened to christian music and loved it
*a 30 minute french lesson with a few of the ladies that didn't have homework-and are actually taking french
*we've established some order, as far as schedule and discipline go

and then today-training was alright. but that whole-not being worth anything for a couple of hours after lunch-really kicked in and i got quite bored. but whatever, all is good. and then had the opportunity to get things accomplished for the concert series.

DEC 3 @ 6PM-first concert at graffiti...with focus definitely coming. the other artists are still being decided on. and we've got a show cookin up for sometime in march. and then a festival/block party type of thing for june with a lot of different artists.

God is good...i could've just said that at the beginning and then not have to write anything else.

whew...made it through the nursing home, the afterschool program, and the encouragement lunch! no one died at the nursing home and no one died at the after school program and no one died at the encouragement lunch-so all was a success :)

seriously though, there was a fight and shooting in thompkins square park on wednesday. thankfully God was looking out for us and kept us all safe.

and i also cleaned my room. like really CLEANED my room tonight. i think stephanie's a little worried about me :)

and i'm babysitting all day tomorrow...yay! 9 month old chloe and 6 year old keegan, it'll be fun but tiring.

i'm out...

highlights of this past week, once again...

*kareem showed up ready to do the nursing home, so i didn't have to
*got a lot of work done, but spent very little time in the office
*DDR...self-explanatory:)
*lunch on bmcc's campus with nikki and monique, which will become a regular thing now
*lock-in was mad fun, only the last hour (clean-up) was whack
*babysat chloe-9 month girl

things to look foward to this week:

*nursing home (i'm looking foward to it being over, cuz then i won't have to do it again until november)
*after school program-mon, tues, and wed!!
*finally getting our FIRST encouragement lunch (pretty sure by wed we'll be needing it)

as i sit in my church's office in nyc on sept 11, 2005...

i'm able to reflect on how God has worked in my life over the past four year. four years ago i was fighting the calling into vocational ministry. i was getting ready for a trip out to texas to check out baylor and tcu. and looking forward to playing soccer at one of the two while pursuing a degree in physical therapy/sports medicine. what's that song say...if you wanna hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! that year, my soccer plans were ended with a couple of broken ankles that i refused to let heal correctly before i started playing again. in turn, causing me to not be able to play competitively ever again. also came the realization that i hate studying the human body and that i was more interested in the human mind and soul. and the birth of my first niece made me want to stay close so i could see her grow up.

through many other life changes over the next three years which i don't care to spell out in detail, i now find myself in nyc. i had it all figured out 4 years ago and now i don't have a clue where i will be in year from now. but i do know that i will be exactly where God wants me to be...wherever that is.

monday was labor day-a holiday, but i still went into work. but not until 2PM, so i definitely got to sleep in. at work the office was nice and quiet with only a few stragglers coming through here and there. in other words, i actually got some work done!

tuesday i woke up early so i went into work early. as people came into the office they kept asking me if something was wrong...they aren't used to seeing me that early in the morning. but once everyone got there, not much work got done. oh well. i did go shopping in the afternoon though for a couple of dance pads and a ddr max game :)

wednesday work was done out of the office. jeff and i met at bmcc and checked some things out. made a connection at the college that will be beneficial in the months to come. then we made our way over to baruch college just to see what it was like. we don't know anyone that is a student there and almost didn't even get to enter the main building. after getting in, student life wasn't to sure of what we had to offer and the person we needed to talk to wasn't even there. so needless to say, that trip wasn't as successful as the one to bmcc. but the experience was good to have gone through.

i got a new york public library card today. watch out libraries...here i come!

my niece starts kindergarten tomorrow :( why do they always grow up???

gettin back into the swing of things at work is difficult after being on vacation for so long. i'm excited about it all though. tomorrow is labor day but i've gotta go into the office cuz i took saturday as my vacation day instead. i did that cuz katie was in town. it was great having someone around that really knows me. it was sad walking out of the airport to the bus and knowing that it would be a while before i see her again. and i started to think about all of the people i miss right now. but then i also remembered where i was at and what i was doing and then all i could think about was how much there is to look forward to in the future.

with katie in the city, we did a LOT of walking. a good 7-10 miles both friday and saturday, with a few more miles today before she left. saw a lot of the city i've seen before, as well as many other parts for the first time. oh, there's a walgreens at the bottom of the empire state building...who knew! i also did some shopping since this past week was the 'tax free' week here. had dinner on saturday night at the espn zone, yummy food and lotsa football. today for lunch we ate at cafe rakka in the east village. the best falafel i've had!

whew, with all that said...i was pooped when i finally made it back to my apt this afternoon. so...i slept a bit. and now i need to get some work done-yuck. oh, the next five months at graffiti will be very interesting. with taylor and susan gone, everything that is talked about on sunday mornings will point to "graffiti-a church that serves." i knew several churches had grown out of graffiti, but didn't know much more than that general statement. today i learned that those churches include:

mosaic manhattan-young professional church located around ground zero
lighthouse church-chinese church in the east village
journey-young professional church located in midtown
creator's circle-native american church
graffiti 2-for the lower income in the south bronx
underground church-a church for the hardcore metal/punk rockers in the city
tribe-a church for the community of artists, musicians, performers in the east village
shuar adonai-a chuch for the jewish in lower manhattan

this just proves how great God really is. and how God can work when people seek after and follow God's leading. it's very encouraging to see results. and it's also just a small reminder to continue to trust God to work when it is impossible to do on our own.

and i'm out on that note...

that means: katie is on her way and the start of college football :)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 1 (3) days

only took me 30 minutes to get down to the east village today! and i got to work WAY before 10 (9:45)!!!

yay me :)

when you are using a gas stove, make sure it lites when you turn it on. cuz just letting the gas run will cause the place to stink up. just thought i'd share a bit of wisdom.

it was great to be back at work today. walked about 4 miles or so. went shopping for a dance pad for the ps2 we are getting...for a little ddr competition. finally figured out my finances. it only took three months to do so.

i'm kinda missing school...in a way...but not really. it was the first day of classes in the bubble. do i miss the bubble? absolutely not! will the majority of the samfordites ever break outta the bubble? i'm gonna be pessimistic and say i doubt it. but hey, God can still work in the bubble just like God works outside of the bubble. just gotta get it all into perspective, i guess.

oh, regarding my previous comment about who i would murder and why...pat robertson apologized for his statement about assassinating the venazualan president. so i should probably do the same for my statement about robertson and falwell. i don't wish them death even though sometimes (most of the time) i don't agree with how they try to intertwine faith and politics. they live under the same grace that i do, which allows us to be able to live despite making mistakes. shoot, if someone had murdered me the first time i was a horrible representative of Christ, i would've been dead a long time ago. isn't God's grace amazing?

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 2 (4) days

i've had this song stuck in my head all day...dangerously in love by destiny's child

I love you... I love you, I love you

Baby I love you, you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops, I am the sea
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world


Chorus x2

I am in love with you (in love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (in love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me


I know you love me, love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you, sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side

Chorus x2


Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love,
to hold, to feel, to breathe, to live you
Dangerously in love, yeah

Chorus x2

Dangerously (dangerously)
Dangerous, dangerously in love with you
Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

and why is that song in my head? I HAVE NO IDEA! it is a good song though, i guess.

anyway, it's officially wierd to not be back in birmingham and at samford now. but i can't spend too much time thinkin about it. got plenty of stuff up here to keep my mind off it.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: 3 (5) days

thursday is the first night! saturday is the first full day!! and the fun continues on sunday as well!!! do ya know what i'm talkin about??? COLLEGE FOOTBALL...YAY :) the countdown has begun: 4 (6) days