I organized a car bash for homecoming week...Marie enjoyed it...

I love my peppermint patty...

Maegan looks like Lenny Kravitz...

*sigh* good picture. i love neon.

Finally, a picture of Marie, I like this one, it shows a naivity and vulnerability...

So yea, today was short, and weird. I find myself thinking. Where did the day go?

So I watched the movie "A Lot Like Love". Yea I know, A cheesy movie with Ashton Kutcher thats very stereotypical and over-done. But I'm a sucker for a romantic comedy. Anyways, it got me thinking...about plans. I'm currently in the middle of a struggle of trying to plan out my life. I get sick to my stomach because I dont have a plan for myself. I dont know what I want to do, or what to major in, I dont know what college I want to go to. I mean the only reason I want to go to Chicago is because I love the city. I dont know where I want to live when I graduate college, I dont know if I'm even going to leave this town. I just dont know anything about what is to come. But the point is that the movie made me realize something about focusing on plans. You can't plan out your life. At all. Sure you can "decide" on what you want, but you have no clue what will happen in the future that could disrupt your plan. Some people might even throw good things away and ignore oppurtunies and miss out on love and life because their sucked into some plan. Well you know what? Fuck plans. I'm switching my priority from planning out every detail of my life, to enjoying life while I'm living. I blew my tire the other day, who's to say that a car might run into me tomorrow and kill me. I'm not stressing out about whats to come, i'm going to enjoy the now.  I'm so happy when I relax and think about how much I love who I am and who I surround myself with and what I'm involved in. I'm happy. So screw everything else. I'm just going to go with what life throws at me. I'm going to do good in school, but not if its going to make me miserable, because there's more to life than that.

*sighs* yeah.

This weekend I did a lot of thinking. And I'm excited to see how I'm living in the next few weeks.

Now that i'm not planning what is to come, I'm more anxious for whats going to happen in my life. Ah...excitement.

I fooled around with my space again, and its just too confusing for me.

I want my own house, so I can decorate it, and live it it, and make it my own. I just want to be on my own. I know I'm not that restricted on anything, but I feel restricted. Mostly just because I have to rely on so many people. I just want to be fully independent. And out of high school!!! I'm so over it. Over high school. I'm done, lol. I just want it to be over!!! Why didn't I graduate early?!?! lol. Life is so much more than high school, oh so much more.

I get lonely easily...I want to find someone.... Its just difficult...