So today I was faced with a big slap of reality. I realized friends don’t last forever and sometimes they dup you like your nothing. I don’t want this to be a "oh look at me...I’m so pitiful" kinda post. I just want to be over all this, I make on mistake and it changes EVERYTHING. I think back on it and if I hadn’t have done one thing...one simple thing... everything would be the same. Yeah I would be faced with this later on in the rode and I don’t regret what I did per say, I just wish things would have gone differently. Today was one of my top 20 worst bad days...yeah that might not sound all that bad, but I have had a LOT of "bad days" in my past 3 to 4 years so the top 20 is BIG. I sat in the car ( riding home from spanish with the Bakers and the twins ) and as soon as I get in that car....so MANY MANY good memories flashed back to me, baby sitting, times Lane and I dressed up and told the kids stories, times we run around the house singing as loud as we could and laughing but I also remember all the bad stuff. It was a lot to take in and then I realized it was all in the past, and when I look into my future, I don’t see any of those good times or bad times happening again. Pretty much almost all my friends from the past few years have ether stepped away or have pushed me to the outside of everything. Its not any of you guys on PhuseBox...just other people I know and have been friends with for so long time. I get the picture, I have to move on and start a new chapter in my life. I used to love starting a new chapter, but now, closing this chapter means saying good bye to some really good times.

Well I sound really stupid and you probably don’t agree with most everything I said, but I personally am over the whole people pleaser thing.