That is what it would have been like if I'd had a computer with me during my race today.  As it was, my near death dragged out over an agonizing ten miles that wasn't so much the Moon Pie 10-mile race as it was Climbing Mount Bell Buckle. 
The course was described as "rolling hills", which I thought meant gently rolling hills.  It turns out the people who wrote the course description would cheerfully use the words "rolling hills" to describe the Himalayas.  My goal before the race was to average lower than 7 minutes per mile.  I managed that feat for a grand total of zero of the miles, with my first mile being a 7:02 and all subsequent miles being slower.  I revised this goal during the race, first to averaging less than 7 and a half minutes per mile, then to not leaving my fetid corpse out on the course for the other runners to spit on as they passed.  I experienced slow, painful death for the entire second half of the race and finally finished in 1:16:35.  However, the day was not yet done.  I drank two Sun Drops and ate a sausage biscuit, a popsicle, and a chocolate chip cookie, making that by far my most unhealthy post-race meal ever, totally wiping out the previous record - a KFC bucket of pocorn chicken.  Furthermore, I finally got my Freecell win percentage up over 50%.  All in all, not a bad day.

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