So today was our first xc meet. It was awsome except for the really bad asthma attack at the 2 mile. I ran an awsome time of 21:34, beating all my previous PR's, even last year's at state which was a 21:57! Everyone did amazing! Then we partied at Anna's. We watched the secret window, not a personal favorite, but not terribly bad. It was really weird. Then we sat and talked for a while. Jeff and I sang to a whole new world, that was pretty amazing! Today was a great day!

I love Chattanooga! I think I am going to look at UTC for possible colleges. My short trip was amazing!

So not only does my brother poop in MY BATHROOM, but so does my stepdad! That so grose. Also very weird and awkard when you have female products in the trash can. Ick!

So I wake up and go downstairs, what do I see??? I see some really tall guy measuring the utility room and another more petite guy moving some crap into the family room. Me being unaware of my surrondings was like what is this mess?!?! Then I remember that we are getting our kitchen and utility room tiled.

So today was pretty awsome! We ran another 5k and then went to Vick's house for a pool party and ice cream. I had to much fun and sucked in so much water! I love the cross country team so much! They are so awsome! Well I am going to put up some pictures of my day. Enjoy!

Geez I am so pissed off. On top of a lot of other crap, my mom just asked me if Bean and I were still friends, if we still talked. I am so sick and tired of her bringing up our relationship. I am still mad at him, I still hate his reason adn think they are stupid, I still think it is better this way, but I still can't stop thinking about him. I am still hurting. It still hurts to look at Bean and think "how can you still be happy and pretend nothing ever happened between us?" I started crying about it again when Salty says "when Bean kicked her to the curb." I hate that phrase. It makes me sound like I did something wrong, and I still feel like I brought it upon myself. Sure I try to hide it by saying Bean's an idiot, he's stupid, but I am hiding my tears still. I hate hiding this. I start to make myself believe I am okay, but then something comes up and I start crying so hard. I say everything is better than ever, but I'm not sure it is.

So we ran our first 5K of the season today. I ran a 24:05. It wasn't that bad especially since I am not in shape. I love competing. Something about racing makes me go hard. I get so aggressive and into it. I think I might have even cut an old guy off at the finish. But yah, I love to run races. I lvoe the feeling of doing good and knowing your doing good. I love when people compliment you and say you are amazing (or something to that effect).

Daily Fortune: Good things are being said about you...in bed.

Okay, I am going to start something new, I think. At least for a little bit. I am going to give a daily fortune, either from myself (no likely) or from a previous fortunes cookie, or from the internet. This one today is one I found on the kitchen counter.

As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it...in bed.

This is what I think the perfect guy is:

Humble
Handsome
Polite
Gentleman
Opens doors for you
Romantic
Buys you small meaningful things (not all the time), not anything expensive
Easy to talk to about personal things
Listens to you
Tries to comfort you
Gives you a shoulder to cry on
Intimate
Humor
Talks to you
Calls you
Takes the first moves
Understands the word “no”
Will talk to you about intimacy, etc.
Truthful
Will tell you anything and can listen to anything

So, that might be hard to find, but it's fun and a wonderful thought to think of =)

Cara has made me the happiest person. She has made me realize that Bean and I aren't meant to be and I am better off. I feel completely over Bean! It is a great feeling. I haven't been this happy in a week!

I am so excited about school! My scedule is perfect! I have my harder classes at the beginning of the day and my crap classes at the end. I have no 6th period, that means sitting in Salty's room with Cara. I'll probably use that time to start homework. This year is going to be great! I am going to love Drama and Photography. I am also going to enjoy being able to look at guys and not feel bad! Yes, it is definatly a good start of the year!

So I have come to the conclusion that I still like Bean. I can't get over him right away. Maybe if he was a jerk, but he's not. He is a good guy and I still want him!I'm trying not to cry, but I miss him. I can't not like him and it's bothering me because I know he makes a better friend, but I like him. I do know this is better this way.

I think I am getting better. I am still sad and pissed, but better. So I have been thinking about my perfect guy. I think he would have to be an artsy Catholic. Someone who isn't brilliant and that I can talk easily to. Someone who is somewhat romantic (not a lot) and it would be nice to date a catholic. Does anyone have any suggestions?? lol.

So my stepdad is waiting for my mom to get home before we can go order chinese. What he doesn't realize is I had a bowl of cereal at 7:30 this morning and that was all. I am so hungry. The scary part is I lost 5 pounds since Friday. So I am waiting here until I can go get some chinese.

So I walk out of the shower in a towel like usual. I walk out of my bedroom in my underwear to grab pants out of the laundry basket. I get dressed, get on the computer and see my brother's friend come out of his room. So I would like an advance notice if someone other than my family is at my house!

So Bean just left. I spent a while with him. We went to Faye's birthday party (which was a lot of fun!). We ended up having to stay under the pavilion during the thunderstorm. It was scary, but also very awsome. Then I invited him over tonight while my parents were having a marriage encounter dinner. We watched Superstar and Bubble Boy. It was so great. Just a random comment, I like to kiss Bean. Sorry if that embarassed anyone! lol! I am hungry. I haven't eaten much today other than a little bit of chinese and some cake with shrimp criol (sp?).

You are reading the first entry of my new life...my new life with a driver's license! Yes! I am free! Well actually I am not concidering my mom is still going to dro me off at a birthday party tomorrow. =( Ohh well.

What I have learned today:

1) Don't try going different ways home, I got lost (actually kinda but not really).
2) Don't go different ways during rush hour (a 15 minute drive took me 30 minutes)
3) Don't study for the driving test, you can pass no matter what.
4) Don't let your mom ride with you. She starts lecturing you on stuff (can't remember all she told me)

Yah so I get sucked into MTV reality shows. I jsut watched the most recent episode of the Real World Austin. Danny's mother died. I cannot stand to see people cry, or I cry along with them. So, yah, now I am crying. Being emotional can suck.

Cara, I am really sorry if I said anything that offended you. I do not remember saying anything that nasty about you. If I vent to someone about you or anyone, I watch what I say and how I say it. Please don't be mad at me, or at least talk with me about it. Thank you.

Many of you probably don't know this man, but many people around here do. This man is our priest at St. Rose. He is dying from liver cancer (I think that is basically what it is). He was in Adam's place for rehab, but was just admitted back into the hospital. Please pray for Father Wiatt. Thank you so much.

I officially hate chiggers even more now. So yah I thought a mosquito miraculously bit me on my boob, but as it turns out it is a damn chigger. I am afraid to put nail polish or anything there since its my boob! But it itches sooooo bad. Its about to drive me crazy! Anyone want to take turns in scratching it for me???

So Bean and I went frisbee golfing this afternoon. It was a lot of fun. It's a good thing we don't take score. We both did pretty bad. We both humiliated ourselves quite a few times, but as long as we weren't playing with any professionals, it is all good. I took a few pictures. I would have taken more if my batteries weren't about dead. But I posted the pictures. They are under the Frisbee Golf album. Bye my peeps! (the best easter candy ever!)