"in America I'll reconstruct my dreams!"- Lestat

i am so tired.... my eyes hurt from crying last nite... it sux when reality comes at you in all forms starting with a jerky remark from someone you thought was your friend but you realize he's just an aquaintence...

"Why am I so powerless and stupid?"
-Ayu (criminal)

"Again, I'm afraid of
something small and insignificant.
In trying to hide that fear
I'm showing my habit of feigning strength.

You come up next to me
and talk about nonsense.
You're trying, despite your
clumsiness, to encourage me.

This must be how
it'll be for us.

*Looking up and smiling slightly,
gazing at the sky,
tiring of running we walk a little.
Just like that... are you ready?

One by one, little by little, see?
We leave behind footprints.
They form one path,
they form now.

It can't be only
good times ahead, but...

It seems like I need you
and if you need me
then we don't really need a reason.
These days aren't bad at all, are they?

*repeat

It seems like I need you
and if you need me
then we don't really need a reason.
These days aren't bad at all, are they?"
-Ayu (independent)

How much do i love Lestat? so much

Hugh Panaro is my hero.

"I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I LOVE KATIE HOLMES!"

WSS rehearsal tonite and tomorrow and Friday and Saturday  *sigh* letz get it together, ppl...

For it's no use explaining it

everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
I go my way
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
Humming a song
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
If it makes no difference whether I may cry or smile
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
I smile

I prepare an expected answer
But

What's the use of saying it?

(everybody GO! everybody JUMP!)

everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
You can fly higher
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
Because you have wings
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
You don't have to be afraid
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
I'm just the same

What I adore is
Commonplace scenery
Even if it's not understood by anyone
Please don't deny
That this is my wish

everybody GO! everybody JUMP!
everybody GO! everybody JUMP!"
-Ayu (Humming 7/4)

"Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.

I don't particularly feel like
walking in front of anyone.
But I don't feel like walking
behind anyone either.

If one of you yells "YES!"
Then I'll get in line and
yell "YES!" as well.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.
You are my pride.

In these seemingly worthless days
there is hidden a trick to being happy.
It was made for
everyone to share.

It's ok if
you don't win.
If that happens then
let's lose together.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
I can year your voices.
Nothing seems scary.
I'm not alone any more.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.

Spread your arms wide.
Let's clap our hands and walk together.
When you start running
come here and we'll begin together.
You are my pride."
-Ayu (AUDIENCE)

HAPPY EASTER! ^^

Great Easter today ^^

Will was baptised this morning at church. and this time he understands! ^^
"the youth and I went to Camino Real and I got saved and I understand now," he says. Gotta love that boy ^^

We went to my Aunt Judy's for a family Easter lunch. which was amazing of course! Broccoli and Cheese casserole is my love! lol and i got to see my FAVORITE relative (and prolly one of my favorite people on this planet): Uncle Steve!

he's my mom's only full sibling (she has 2 half sisters)

he is SOOOOOO FUNNY and affectionate (like me) i can't even explain how much i love him >.<

look how big Bosly's nostrals are!!! they're HUGE >.< lol

i am sooooo tired! i dunno why *shrugs*  but i'm almost dreading going to school tomorrow. i wish we could spend all day working on WSS lol but there's English and Economics and all those other "important" subjects lol o well...

my fellow choir kids, let us rock on in WSS this week!

"It's always so simple I could cry, but I want to smile.
If I become stronger I'll forget even your kindness, so I want to stay weak.
I want your love."
-Ayu (poker face)

went shoppin with my mom.

the search for a prom dress continues >.<

i really like Asian stuff.                     and cute Asian boys ^^

BAHH! HAPPY EASTER!! BAHH! ^^

"Little by little the warmth you left me with is going out
If it's gone completely, what will my body mean?"
-Ayu (GAME)

so, i had an awesome Bible study with Debi and Rae this morning. i learned alot about Debi, Rae, myself, and God. Twas lovely.

Then Rae and I went shopping. We saw Elizabeth and her sisters which was great ^^

i had lunch at Rae's and then i went home

my mom and i went to Woodbury to look for dresses and pay for my cousin's tombstone

our car almost broke down on the way home

i went and saw Scary Movie 4 w/ Rae, Brady, Jackie, Linda, and Amanda.

do not go see SM4. rent it if u must but don't pay $7.50 for an hour of comedy you mostly saw in the commercials.

i love my mom.

"Move me
With all your might"
-Ayu

Good Friday rox! Thank you, God. You just keep on givin!

"I said to myself "I'm OK"
And showed my usual smile
I didn't feel in desperation
But in a kind of defiance"
-Ayu [(miss) understood]

well... i'm still sick... and it sux...

but i have a voice lesson today! w00t! ^^

no, i'm not getting this dress...  itz just a dress that Rae liked alot...

i'm still on the search for a prom dress... i miss the dress i saw at Hickory Hollow mall.... -_- i liked that dress...

"Will I be inhuman?
Will I be invisible to everyone?
I find nothing I want in a place like this
Which I escaped and tumbled into
I rip my feelings off my heart
And stick a smile on the mask
Please take me away from here
Before everything becomes a memory"
-Ayu (Happy Ending)

i'm doin some hardcore work on my term paper thingy... bleah >.<

i stole this from Rachael Vance's phusebox cuz i love it:

i saw this on a random girl's myspace. haha i like it :)
----------------Girls----------------------------
------- -----are like apples-------------------
--------on trees. The best ones-----------
------are at the top of the tree.--------
----The boys dont want to reach------
---for the good ones because they ------
-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
Instead, they just get the rotten apples-
---from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
-something is wrong with them, when in
--reality, they're amazing. They just
---have to wait for the right boy to-------
----- come along, the one who's-----------
----------- brave enough to-----------------
-----------------climb all----------------------
----------------- the way---------------------
-----------------to the top--------------------
---------------- of the tree.------------------

w00t.     tru dat.

"Will I be inhuman?
Will I be invisible to everyone?
I find nothing I want in a place like this
Which I escaped and tumbled into
I rip my feelings off my heart
And stick a smile on the mask
Please take me away from here
Before everything becomes a memory"
-Ayu (Happy Ending)

name: Rachel Chase
age: 18
birthday: Nov. 19, 1987
gender: female
weight: bleah
height: 5' 3"
location: TN, U.S.
land terrain: uhh... hilly... mountainous..? *shrugs*
favorite thing to do: sing, act, dance, internet blogs and forums, cooking
dislikes: ppl that don't shut up, ppl that think they r never wrong, ppl that waste time, zucchini, guilt
special talents: singing, acting, computer stuff
strange things i can do: i can touch my tongue to my nose
currently studying: Music Theory
allergic to: amoxicillin
fears: underwater, big dogs, big bugs, getting left behind, sharks, dinosaurs
favorite color: RAINBOW

interested in: Asia, musical theatre, computers, cooking
reputation at school: Christian girl that can sing
charm point: eyes, hair

hair color: brown
favorite word: topography
least favorite words: fag
best subject: Recess j/k lol lunch j/k lol choir j/k lol *shrugs* anything u can guess at lol
worst subject: math

nickname: Raye
pets: NONE
favorite food: veggies, chocolate

favorite drink: green tea

has a tendancy to: whine, worry

favorite dessert: fruit

favorite sea animal: blowfish

favorite land animal: koala

favorite fantasy creature: unicorn

fantasy: being a b'way star and/or pop/rock star- get married- have 2 kids and adopt 2
spends most of my time: on computer, singing

sneeze: energetic jolt of a sneeze

cant: see thru someone else's eyes easily
secrets: never sure of myself completely

favorite fruit: banana
favorite vedgetable: squash
dreams of: meeting Ayu and singing w/ her, meeting Drake Bell and singing with him

DONNIE'S HOME! ^^

she came over w/ some stuff to help me get well

these past few days seem so meaningless... i don't kno what to expect out of them... and i kinda sorta don't care... Ms. SHS pageant rehearsal tonite. lord no i'm not in the pageant. i'm just singin at it.

my mom and i (and hopefully Rae) are supposed to go prom dress shopping tomorrow... yeah, i'm still not sure... that dress is just SOOOOO BIG! >.<

if you think i should get this dress for prom, remark and tell why.... (it is too big so if i get it, i'm getting it altered [taken in and hemmed])

"When time passes by
What will be left for me?
My heart going on wishing for a miracle?
Or just

A scar?"
-Ayu (HOPE or PAIN)

WSS rehearsal was pretty good tonite... but i sleepy... my preparing for from adventures continue...

yeah, pretty dress but a negative! my boobs don't fit! >.<

I love my family (Dad, Mom, Bos)

I've started writing my Senior wills to my underclassmen.

"Yes, I stand up again and again
If there is a wall, we can break it
Don't you think our lives have only just begun?
So long as there is a way, we can open the door"
-Ayu (INSPIRE)

I went to Starbucks w/ Rae Rae this morning before school.

I love my Starbucks guy ^^ lol he is so cute

"You can start your plan whenever you like
And you can end it
When it's ready
It's up to you"
-Ayu (Startin')

so... i feel pretty crappy today...
Spring Forward one hour...
I'm so sleepy...
I'm wondering wether i'm gonna even go to prom... lately, i've been feeling really left out not having a date and i'm worried i won't have fun...

"I can't remember when it was good
Moments of happiness elude
Maybe I just misunderstood"
-Muse (Falling Away WIth You)

Yesterday, the Car Wash went pretty well

Rae and I left early and hung out.
We watched the Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon.
Drake & Josh won Favorite TV Show and Drake won Favorite Male actor! w00t!

Well, i had a pretty decent day today:

I spent the nite at Rae's last nite


we went to Bible Study at Chik-fil-A and met up w/ Debi, Will, and Elissa.


Wes went to Debi and Scott's house and made posters for our youth group's car wash tomorrow

I went home and ate lunch, watched the Nanny, took a nap, and went and got my FULL FLEDGED UNRESTRICTED REGULAR DRIVER'S LICENSCE! w00t! now i can drive w/ a butt load of ppl in my car! lol j/k lol

I cooked dinner tonite and it was amazing ^^ (stuffed shells)

so... that was my day... no drive in movie tonite... cuz itz all rainy...

but tomorrow, RIVER OAKS COMMUNITY CHURCH YOUTH GROUP CAR WASH!!!! 10am-3pm @ Hackett Bro. FREE!
DONATIONS ACCEPTED ^^ come help contribute to our Cornerstone fund!

anywayz... gotta go... i gotta work tonite... >.<

"So whatever result may be waiting for us
It's nothing but
Destiny"
-Ayu (HEAVEN)

so.... Elissa and I went to The Bridal and Formal Shoppe to look for me a prom dress. and we found this beauty:

itz even on sale! it was $238 but itz HALF OFF! >.< how great is that?? the good Lord DOES take care of you ^^ lol AND it matches this really pretty mask i have... and the prom theme is MASQUERADE!

oh, i got accepted into the school of music at MTSU w00t!

and i got in my tickets to see Wicked! ^^ double w00t w/ a whamy!

hmmm... wanted to go to the drive in movie tonite but... itz only Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nites.. >.<

last nite, i pierced my ear (safely w/ a do it yourself kit that Linda and Jackie got me for my birthday)

My brother and I are spending the nite at the Weber's tonite. Elissa and I are gonna cook dinner ^^ w00t! and we're gonna watch Memoirs of a Geisha and The Pest ^^

I hope today is a beautiful day!

"What journey will you make
in your limited time?"
-Ayu (Beautiful Day)

P.S. Happy 20th Anniversery, Mom and Dad!

I had a pretty good day yesterday:
Church
Camino Real
Will's Salvation
VTR (Voices That Rock) practice
nap
TV
Grocery shopping w/ Will
watching food network til 11:30 at nite lol

i realized i love to cook. i want to cook. who wants to come over and cook w/ me sometime over this lovely Spring Break?