"Sayonara --- Even my last words don't reach you
I'm made to realize the coldness of the parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie"
-Ayumi Hamasaki



photo from NeoDaydream

"Giving a smile fit for each situation
Saying plausible words
I go blank
It's about time to end up pretending to be impassive"
-Ayumi Hamasaki



photo from NeoDaydream

*above* my fav. Japanese performing artist! ^^

Last nite, i accidently ran thru a red light and then i stepped (barefoot) in dog poop, then i ran into Rae in the dark... now, my dad says i'm gonna have a car accident soon. God told him... so i'm SO scared... i feel like not even letting anyone ride w/ me anymore ya kno? i mean, i'd be sooooooo scared if i was in an accident all by myself but i'd rather go thru that than have someone i love in the car w/ me get hurt in the accident...

"The moment I say something
Everything may slip down through my fingers like sands
And I only wait the time passing by so calmly
Please tell me that this pain is surely an illusion
Please tell me that I'm not like myself at all now"
-Ayumi Hamasaki

"I like glittering things and pretty things
As much as before
But being cool and being tough
Have become more important lately

You see? Times have changed so much
But why do I still hear such words as
"Tears are women's weapons"?

We have our weak sides
We are not always smiling
Don't forget
That we don't exist to be convenient for you

Though it's certain
I have a pain in my chest on some nights

It might be true
The more one experiences sufferings
The more he can be tender and strong

Do you think you have controlled everything
With a knowing look?
We are not dolls
Who are only dreaming

Do you think you have cheated us well
With a satisfied look?
Do remember
That we are not such simple beings"

-Ayumi Hamasaki

"The gap between idealism and reality
Is so very cutting
And as we cannot cut them off, they are opening up.
In this place, will we give up?
Or will we persevere and do our very best?"

-Ayumi Hamasaki

"never knew i could feel like this
Itz like i've never seen the sky before
want to vanish inside your kiss
every day i'm lovin' you more and more
listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
telling me to give you everything
seasons may change
winter to spring
but i love you
until the end of time
come what may
come what may
I will love you until my dying day...
suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
it all revolves around you
and there's no mountain too high
no river too wide...
sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
but i love you
until the end of time
come what may
come what may
I will love you until my dying day..."
-Moulin Rouge

The Exorcism of Emily Rose was awesome! ^^ "ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX!"

young man, there's no need to feel down
i said, young man, pick urself off the ground...

Thank
God
Itz
Friday!!!!!!
Ya like my new profile pic?
"Let me check my hat!"-Me

so... Yesterday was SOOOOOO amazing! Picnic at the park, tire-swing, Fun-dips @ Dollar General, Red Eye, The Chase Party House, my pool, Jordan's harry butt, pizza, and much much more!

photo from NeoDaydream

here's a pic of my brother, Bosly (his real name is Matt but everyone calls him Bosly) he looks like he's high

So... Labor Day 2morrow so no school! ^^ so this is the plan (subject to change):
12:00 meet at Old Fort park for picnic
-:--(?) go see the movie Red Eye
-:--(?) go to Erma Siegel playground
and/or my house to go swimming

Right now, it looks like it'll be:
me, Rachael, Jackie, Cole, Apes, Jordan, Sara, Elissa, Bosly, my parentals (probably), Matt, LaDonna, and some other ppl i need to call but i think thatz it...

so... if you wanna go, just call me. (653-9563)

Hey, everyone! so Kaleena came over yesterday and we had fun! I love her so much! ^^ hopefully she'll be coming to Siegel soon ^^

"outside, day starts to dawn..."- Miss Saigon

"the girl that walks in the moonlight doesn't notice the shooting stars until she looks up." - me

yeah, so i just got back from the doctor. i went cuz my mom thought i mite have diabetes (but i'm pretty sure i don't lol) anyho, so i had to pee in a cup. the lady like lectured me on how to do it! and i couldn't help it, i just laughed! lol it was funny! and they took sum of my blood and it hurt and i had to hold my mommy's hand lol but i'm cool now. anywayz, i just thought u guys would think that was neat! ttul! ciao!

cloudy clear
like a curtain
you're so dear
slide that blank look back on

I'm forgotten
once again
tears cradled by the knowledge
that you're my friend

'cause I love you
I love you
and I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm not crying
I'm not crying
I won't cry
I can't cry...
yet...

"It was banned in Austrailia..." lol that just might be my new fav. phrase! lol

Fighting evil by moonlight!
Winning love by daylight!
Never running from a real fight!
She is the one named Sailor Moon!

"Oo! Look @ me! I'm Josh! I play video games all day long! Girls? No, thank ya, mam! I got me a video game!"
"Oo! Look @ me! I'm Drake! Nutrition? Not for me! I'm just gonna eat me a big ol' bag of cheeseballs!"

so... I STILL haven't picked up Margery yet!!! I miss her! >.< but anyho, today was a nice break from school.... i dyed my hair again! this time, it looks really black and then red in the front. i like it and you all will too! ^^
Phil. 4:8

yeah, so after school, after mom picked me up, i was like "yes! time to go get Margery!" and mom told me we couldn't cuz my dad says their computers were down over there or sumthin but... later tonite, my dad said "no, you could've gotten ur car, i just couldn't pay yet."
so i could've already gotten Marge back! but now i have to wait til 2morrow!
Speaking of tomorrow.... no school! yay! anyho, i hope i get alot done 2morrow.... i think i'll rearrange my room and stuff... *shrugs*
if anyone wants to do something, call me: 895-7353
ciao! lovies!

So, today i finally get Margery back! yay Margery! anyho, phuse box rocks my face extremely! i can even get to it from a computer at school! yes! anyho, u guys like my profile pic? ya see the grape? do ya? lol i kno, itz amazing! speaking of amazing, Good Burger is amazing! itz where i got the grape thing from
"look! i'm grape nose boy! bloobidy bloobidy bloobidy!"- Ed
"How cool would it be to be a Smurf? sry... just a thought..."- Aaron

yeah, so this is a random poem Rae #2 and i found at Creme Caramel (when it was cool):

in him
today moves...with the rain...falling...catching...blue dots...on my work shirt...
does he hear me...always...and yet there is no one here left standing...but me...
just beyond the bend of my fears...he waits...arms open...hes in the quiet voice...
the home...that my spirit remembers...but my flesh detests...
why is this battle...and who am i to him...only he knows...and wants to show me...
to cut way the gory disfigurements of my life...that lust threw me into...he is pure...
holy...died for me...and the truth is like a hammer...only when i am listening...who
is listening...when everyone is longing...to the right voice...hes there...and here...all
around you...right now...beautiful...and i am so full of myself...thinking love is an
expression of self...when it is only an expression of him...thinking love is received...
when i am at my best...but he is ready with love...when i am at my worst...and i am now...
as bad as ever...and he is still there...waiting...with a frown or a smile...with arms crossed
or arms open...i am not yet sure...and only will be...when i let this go...the door open...and he
is no longer waiting...but all around me...in such a way....that he is all there is...the life...
i've always wanted...in him...

whos voice is it...there are only two...its not always you...taking the next step...
its being driven or being led...and let you always be led...by the hand that loves you...


pretty cool huh?

So, wow! my first Phusebox entry.... are you excited? i am.... so anyho, i am NOT very excited about going back to school tomorrow... but i AM excited to get Margery (my car) back from the auto shop.... she got her AC fixed... but my passenger window is STILL broken... whatz the point of having a working AC but a window that you can't roll up? *shrugs* lol