i dont want your sympathy.... But Gosh do i feel worthless right about now.... passed out til about 10  its just easier to sleep away sickness than anything else! plus my energy level is like a 10 , not a good combination!!!

 so im at home, sitting here at home,

playing on the computer sitting here at home.

oh yeah , i meant to tell you.

 Austin & I are on 6 months Monday!!

 A lot of people believed we wouldn't make it ,

and at the beginning our relationship,

 thats what kept me fighting to keep us together,

now when we struggle i fight because im scared i won't make it,

i fight because he would have my heart and though i know if it all blow up in my face i would still be breathing,

 i would just be breathing differently! hes become part of me....

more than any guy is or ever was

 im proud of the neclace he put around my neck that cold december night,

 Im proud of the football hoody he dared me to wear to school,

i'm also proud of the times we've struggled,

I'm proud of the times no words could even be said,

 but those words spoke louder than anything.

I'm proud of second thoughts,

I'm proud of  close moments,

where i could almost tell you what he was thinking.

im proud of nights i couldnt get him off my mind all night long,

im proud of tears i ve cried because of him.

Im proud of awkward conversations, where weve had to say "this isn't going to happen again"!

 im proud of pictures of us built from memories,

im proud of the person he has become because of me,

and the person he has made me.

 im proud of our silly conversations that don't go anywhere,

 im proud when he's moved my hair out of my eyes,

Im proud of the moments i felt locked into his soul,

 im proud of when he said any other girl wouldn't be me,

im proud of when i hug him like im the only one who gets to,

& im proud that he is the last thing i think about at night.

im proud of us making it this long , and im proud for whatever comes whether this be nearing end or just the beginning.