"Except for the fact that it terminates life, death is such a little thing."     -Suicide Casanova opening line

God, thank you for my life.  Thank you for my life.

I used to think that I had some inclination as to what I was going to do with my life, but now, now that I actually have to start moving down that path I can't seem to settle on something.  We're not here for very long, and I don't want to do something that I hate doing and be miserable for most of my life, but I also don't want to float around jumping from one thing to the other.  I wish my name was John.  If you'll look through out time, its always the Johns that seem to catch the breaks, make the deals, and have it figured out.

"...let the Bible Belt come and save my soul.  Hold onto sixteen as long as you can, changes come around real soon to make us women and men..."

There need to be some changes in how I spend my Tuesdays.  Today, I tried to be more constructive.  I came home and went on a nice moderately long jog.  Then, come to find out it's only 10:28, so I sprawled out in the floor and thought. 

I think I'm going to go with the double "n" spelling of my name.  Lynn Wilhoite.....not a large change but a change none the less.

There is a slightly amazing difference between living and surviving.  It's not difficult to survive, but to live is probably one of the greatest obstacles we have to beat. 

Endymion was a youth who fell in "love" with Diana, or Selene, it depends on your local, the moon goddess.  He spent his nights on Mount Latmos, wishing she would call him up.  In the end Zeus caused Endymion to sleep eternally so he could stay with the moon goddess.

Bulfinch describes the story with the phrase, "a life spent more in dreams than in reality..."

I know it doesn't make any sense and it's not rational, but when has Greek mythology been sensible?  The underlying truth or meaning is that the things we need to do to live, NOT SURVIVE, but LIVE might not be rational.

"I am alone and I am searching, hungering for answers in my time.  I am balanced at the brink of wisdom, I'm impatient to recieve a sign.  I move forward with my senses open.  Imperfection will be my crime.  In humility I will listen, we're all swimming to the other side..."

It is a great day.  I mean I can not remember a day since last August that I've been in such a good mood. 

I bought my books today, and they are everything I thought that they could be.  My Experimental US History book looks great.  I'm probably going to start on that today.  I was a little disappointed by bookstore though, I mean, I get out to the car and realize....I didn't get my complimentary condom. 

It's times like these that call for a good old fashioned play on words.

"What's wrong with your shoe?"

"I'm losing my sole..."

"I've been too chicken shit afraid to live my life so I sold it to you for a lousy three hundred dollars a week."

I've been thinking about my life and where it's going.  I firmly believe that God has a plan for everyone.  Maybe I'm missing something.  Everyone, but me sometimes, seems to know where they are headed. I don't know. 

"There ought to be a law with no bail.  Smash a guitar and you go to jail."

It's the most underrated day of the year January 2nd.

"But was it love?  The feeling of wanting to die beside her was clearly exaggerated: he had seen her only once before in his life!  Was it simply the hysteria of a man who, aware deep down of his inaptitude for love, felt the self-deluding need to simulate it?  His unconcsious was so cowardly that the best partner it could choose for its little comedy was this miserable provincial waitress with practically no chance at all to enter his life!"

The Unbearable Lightness of Being is probably the best novel I've ever read.

You're near your destination, the more you're slip sliding away....

Reason number 8 on my "Why College Is Not Too Cool" list:  It alters my immune system and sleep cycles.  I was never really sick this past semester, but I always had a lingering cold that would show up every now and then.  Today, however I guess my body broke down, because I don't think anyone in the history of colds has had one like this.  To the Sleep Cycles.  Since my finals ended Wednesday morning, I don't think I've left the REM stage yet when i'm asleep.

Today, I was scrounging around the downstairs closet looking for, what we call, "The Sick Blanket," and I came across my favorite shirt from one of my retarded stages.(The Sick Blanket deserves a post all to its own)  The reads, "Prose Before Hos", I thought it was hilarious, blew twenty bucks on it, and never actually wore it.  My mother did not find it so amusing.

Dimetapp is a blessing indeed.

...but this morning there's a calm I can't explain.  The rock candy's melted only diamonds now remain...

today has promise

I heard this on Rush Limbaugh yesterday...

Headlines in the Year 2029

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq
and Lebanon).

* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

* France pleads for global help after being over taken by Jamaica.

* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

* Florida voters still don’t know how to use a voting machine.

All in all, not a bad day.  I'm going to take a minute and talk to myself about dreams.  I dream alot, probably more than should be allowed, but that's the hand I play.  Every now and then a dream comes along that messes with my head and I can barely function the next day.  I had a true nightmare last night.  I blame finals for it.

Yes my favorite place to be is not a land called honah lee.  Mentally or physically, I wanna be in New Orleans...

I don't need no doctor, cause my hope to live is gone....

I made it through the first semester, if I passed is a story all to its self.

Paul Simon said it best, "I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain.  It's laughter and it's loving I disdain."

New battery: 70 dollars

basically a new alternator: you don't want to know...

spending one of the longest mornings of my life at autozone: priceless...

Relationships are alot like shopping carts.  There some people who always get the ones with four great, perfectly aligned wheels, and then there are those who hate to go shopping.  I mean, there are the carts that have the one wheel that doesn't move at all.  The ones that have the constant shaking, the thuds, etc.

Breakdown?  Breakthrough?