So... This is one of those tragically typically normal dreams.. but still... So..I was walking this road.. alone.. and it was beautiful out... perfectly serene.. but i was crying... and i just couldnt walk anymore literally i was stopped dead in my tracks... i fought to move.. but i couldnt... and it scared me.. and i dropped to the ground and cried... unable to move... it felt like i was there forever.. but then i felt someone take my hand and pick me up.... i could feel God with me.. but that wasnt who had my hand.. and i looked around and my friends.. my real friends surrounded me and carried me on.. and all the while i could hear God whispering in my ear.. :I love you, your gonna make...:

i woke up so incredibly comforted... I have not felt this calm in a VEEEEEEEEEERRY long time!!!!!

i love my friends... and

im.. happy...

at least now i am..

later guys..

meag

1.Woke up to find it was a snow day....

2.Got to do the tragically neighborly thing of asking my neighbor for *gasp* an egg!  it was so leave it to beaver!

3.Found out the valentines day plans with david, tyler and brady are gonna be pretty cool

4.Got out of cleaning the house today...

Pretty Good huh??

love you guys,

meag

ps OH and...

5. My grandpa had ANOTHER stroke.... and my uncle who is a pastor and another lady had a vision from the Lord of my grandma in church without my grandpa.... and he has a feeling he has DAYS to live....and im falling apart...

so yeh that was my day.....

HeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeY Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids!!!

Snoooooooooooooooooooooow Daaaaaaaaaaay!!!

lol! Well not much to say really.. just wanted to post... you should all call me...... lol!

love you guys, meag

ps VALENTINES DAY IS TOMMOROW!

OK... I wish people would learn some respect... Yesterday was the worst day ever and i hope NOTHING like that EVER happens again..... I was shaking and crying and I felt so i dunno dirty... ugh..... I hate people..... anyways... i guess i just wanna forget it...

so... here are some of the pics i took at the Lewis'...

there are more in my photobox....

love you, meag

so the game was waaaay to much fun.. waaaay to crazy.. and seigel sucks!!!! we sooo should have won and number 44 SUCKS too! lol

it was too much fun though!

meag

i in math... i hate math.. lol... im on my way to a dance showcase so its prolly gonna be gay but yeh i dont wanna go to class.... anyways....i guess i should go cuz mrs carr is yelling repeatedly...

*i need the keyboard and the mouse!*

lol... so yeh.. bye bye keyboard and mouse.....

love you guys... and love you buttons!!!

cant wait till tommorow and friday!!!!

love you, meag

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes
How old were you? 14
What was your outlook on the world? it was horrible
How were you doing at school/your job? sucky
What did you most look forward to? absolutely nothing...
Did you make New Year's Resolutions? no
What was your biggest worry? that i would never escape depression
Who was your best friend? danie stoffer
What did you do with your spare time? read
What did you do for fun? hung out with danie and josh(when i dated him)


IN THE MIDDLE OF 2005: SUMMER

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes but a different one
Had your outlook on the world changed? no
What things happened during summer? summer camp, and a trip to VA!!! thats ALL that was good.. oh yeh and i developed an crush on david
Did you get a tan? yes but its gone
Who'd you hang out with? noone
Did you go visit anywhere? Denver, CO, Hampton, VA, and Hoopeston, IL
What was your biggest worry? that i was going to lose one of my best friends
What was the most fun event that happened? summer camp and finally finding friends and home (FwC)



AND AS THE YEAR DRAWS TO AN END...How old are you? 15
What major changes have happened since the year began? im happy and became a christian or at least more than JUST on sunday....
Is your life any different from when it started this year? heck yes!!!
What thing that happened stands out in your mind? i decided on a career, and i became close to God
Did You Fall in Love? no but i learned what love was... and i loved someone...
How have you changed? in too many ways
Are you happy with how the year went? with the changes..



FOR 2006...
Do you think it'll be better or worse than this year? better.. ive got God by my side now
What do you plan to do next year? 2007? graduate and enlist in the air force
What are your New Year's resolutions? didn't make any, and i won't
Who are you spending New Year's Eve with? Brady and her parents and some drunks.. lol


AND TO WRAP IT UP...

What one thing would you like to say as the year is almost done????? i duno

hm... yeh life is boring.. ok boring is a bad choice of a word.. cuz its stressful and confusing definetely not boring... but not really all the great... ive had alot of ups and downs lately.... ugh.. pray for me..

love you, meag

Again... I really dont have anything to say... but im sure i will at some point... so i will post again then...

like i said on xanga...

i miss lavergne...

i love oakland...

i have the two best fiances EVER

Adam and Tim....

yeh they rock.....gah!!!!

more laterz... life rocks lately...

life seems more and more like a roller coaster lately... ugh...

take the good days as they come i guess....

laterz...

meag

aka squirt or sunshine or msteve

Im in math class and i really have nothing to say.. but i figured i would post simply for Katie Kimbell

so yeh...to add to my other three new friends at oakland i shall add Katie Kimbell...

i love katie kimbell to death.. and we are friends on phusebox AND at oakland so HA!... lol sorry Katie.. but i do love you... hehe

also

i would like to post this...

I MISS JONATHAN WYLER HATTER!!!!

i cant wait to see him this summer.. heis the most amazing person ever.. and i miss him dearly... GAH! so yeh.. .cant wait to see you jon... love you!!! LOOK WHAT YOU DUN DID NOW!!

meag

ok im feeling better.. you guys rock.. amazingly alot.... from oakland i have three friends and they are the coolest ever... tim, sean, and nemanjayea so they rock.. and so do all my old friends.. thanks for being there.. and most of alldavid your amazing... one of the most amazing people in my life right now... youve been amazing and i love you DEARLY!tty guys laters,,, your all amazingnessmeagps chris slate rocks my socks offAnd they called it puppy love
Oh i guess they'll never know
how a young heart really feels
and just why i love her so
and they called it puppy love
just because we're in our teens
tell them all
please tell them it isn't fair
to take away my only dream
i cry each night
my tears for you
my tears are all in vain
i hope and i pray
that maybe someday
you'll be back (you'll be back) in my arms(in my arms)
once again
someone help me
help me
help me please
is the answer up above?
how can i
oh how can i tell them
this is not a puppy love
someone help me
help me
help me please
is the answer up above?
how can i
oh how can i tell them
this is not a puppy love
(this is not a puppy love)
(this is not a puppy love)
not a puppy love
(this is not a puppy love)this song is sooo sweetYour eyes are brown shining like stars at night
Oh when she smiles I melt her lips are rosy red
When she looks at me I am hypnotized
Staring at those brown colored eyes but she's far I miss her

Oh my sixteen I love you, oh my sixteen I do, I do love you
Girl when you're upset please don't cry coz I'm hurt
I'm always here for you, you gave my life a reason for living
A heart to believe in, a love for us to share

chorus:
Oh my sixteen I love you, oh my sixteen I care
Say my sixteen will you love me too
Oh my sixteen I do, I do love you

bridge:
If you need a friend to turn to I will be there, oh I'll be there
All you have to do is take my hand and I'll be there
(repeat bridge twice then chorus)

so here is the thing...

everything makes me cry!

and i hate it...

very few things make me smile...

but i love those things more than anything in the whole world....

g2g...

love you, meag

must say coming of a pretty serious depression.... ive been in an amazing mode lately.... i mean im pretty down alot still... still self concious, sad, dont feel good enough and all that crap...but its ok... because i have these amazing friends... (although somehow.. no matter how amazing they are... there are many days i feel they dont care.... and i hate it...) soo to all my friends..i love you guys....

amy- you rock... i love that we have gotten to hang out and get closer lately.... your soo sweet

david- what can i say... thanks for being amazing and making me feel worth something

steven- you are so funny.. thanks for singing with me in hell... your crazy darling

brady- i love you more than smiles... your amazing and i couldnt live without you

danie and josh- i put you as two because you can't really seperate you two... i miss you guys... alot.. i miss you caring....

debe-im glad we go to school together now... i love getting to talk to you... i miss hanging out with you.... but your still amazing.. love you!

tim- your my new buddy.. you rock my socks off... your a crazy flirt.and i love to hang out with you...

nemanja- you are soo cool.. im glad we have become friends.. and i love having class with you...you rock!!!

sean- your the coolest new buddy from texas.. i love you to death and im glad your there for me in dr oxsher's phsycho class....

well i guess i need to go.. to all my other friends you guys are amazing... really.. i couldnt go on with you....

and i think i owe a thank you to one last "friend"

person- thanks you... because if it wasnt for you i wouldnt be who i am today.. you made me stronger and i thank you for being my "northern star"....

more laterz

love you,

meag

so im going to Gracie's baby pageant tommorow morning.. i went to it the last time it was held... that was the day this picture was taken.. wow... i have changed QUITE abit... hm... so this is my first actual post... i never use thing.. i actually forgot i had it... but maybe not ill use it...

ttyl love you,meag

Im just getting started... Once I have more than 10 minutes I'll actually post...
love you more than life, meag
aka squirt