we so got out of school.
for snow.
again.
<3
soon, in college, there will be no more snowdays.
wah.

what's with this new sleeping schedule?
i'm getting things done.
i guess that's all that matters.

my grades are suffering. but they weren't near as bad as i had imagined.
*wipes sweat*




i liked the taste better.
my ears just bleed.

by the way,
you.
yes i am talking to you.
need to join:

-my computer is slower than my brain
-H 2 0
-idealists;imagination
-t.e.g.a.n. and s.a.r.a
-phusebox slacker?

yay.

except i don't have much to say as of right now other than school is a bully.
((stoopid beech))

i know...
not for a fact, quite yet,
but i have been considering
quiting band.

::ponders

i should keep up with this site.

yeah, i really should.

hope this next month goes well.
haha

i'm so young.
in numbers.
but here. in my head.
i feel old. and tired.


and when i looked at the pupil in your eye.
((into the nebula.))
i see nothing.
i don't know you.

everything seems unreal.

even when i am awake...

my head just weighs more than i can take.

no. school.
and i knew i was going to be disappointed. i knew that i would have to endure the ignorance of it nomatterwhat. damn.


already?

chemistry hon.-rollins (mental)
german II hon.- nelson (of course!)
us hist hon..-coach collins (switch?)
band-psht.
geometry hon.-luckett (on speed)
eng.III hon.- dr. white. (need a toupe?)

i have three fourths of each book left.
tests. next. weeeek.
math homework?!
ouch.

my head has been hurting.
thinking too much?
too much sleep?
both.

what is your schedule?

thank god.

i don't think i have slept well these last two weeks...not once.
hm. no more six flags.
so instead. come to the carwash on church street. for band. advanced auto parts. 9:30 to 2:00,sat. (i think?) donations. [[are required]]

(

band camp. psht.

"if you are not willing to have discipline and are capable of sacrificing time, leave. we don't need you." -me

i went to mtsu thurs. night. watched the Cavaliers practice for a hour. (i want to join a drum core like nobody's business.)

0_o

"only problem, you don't play a brass instrument, ashley."
shut up. i can dream.

i didn't go to DCI last night. should have. damnit. but i was out until 11:30. that's hella better than a 9 0'clock curfue.

six flags means: reese, mechelle and mummy, scott, me and you. cramed together in a car next weekend.

i really dislike morning headaches.
don't say it's my diet.
the solid and liquid substances i put in my mouth are improving in quality.

i am so not ready for school.
i am so behind.
so what do i do?
get on the computer and waste another few hours.

bleh.

what are you doing?

humph.
i need to go R-E-E-D.
Great Gatsby stinks.

i guess everything i say
just turns against me.

but i am an obsessive bitch.

i'm going to love you if it kills me.

[[music like the beautiful Bjork, for example,is summer bliss.]]

i like to pick my nose.

i miss the ditch. the tunnel we used to escape into. away from everyone else's uncertain dispoistion. and it was the way you took my hand...i was scared. but i wanted it more than anything.

the way i could wake up in warmth of sunlight...bliss.
when we could spend
days. on. end.
in each other's presence...
in the good and bad of one another.
we could fly if we would of tried.
maybe we did?
-but then again. we remeber most of all:

that all the flying we did came crashing down.

and we burnt.
we disintegrated almost to our bones.

but time changes.
and heals.
yet...
how i'll continue to focus on the unattainable.
oh, but how the memories feel my idealist head.
and. I.
I knew then that i would wait until the end of a hell created was over.
and i did.

here i am.
i love you.

i am sorry they raped the light away.
and all that you stood for was torn from your gushing heart.
but wait...
maybe i shouldn't......agree?
and.
i apologize for the endless days i've wasted.
by telling you forget a resistance.
i am sorry for karma.
it's ridiculous,
don't you agree?
but your head's been stuck in the sand far too long.
and now i'll leave you be.

although you are unknown to this site...
i wish you could read it in my eyes next time we stop car to car.

i need to read.
to practice.
to write.
to bath.
to call.
to socialize.
but i honestly feel like going back to sleep at 11:13 in the morning/almost afternoon.

photo from pardonxme

today is daddy's day.

birthday cake is yummy...
who agrees.

i just love cat naps with you.
i miss the we in us...
someday. someday.