welcome to the fallout
welcome to resistance
the tension is here, the tension is here
between who you are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be...

really freakin hard

enjoy

Google Content Blocker

 - alright, i got to get rid of all this stuff.
 - what stuff?
 - all of this crap in my pants.
[me, aaron, me; after leaving Steak and Shake]

the movie can be found here.

once again, courtesy to the swb crew.

enjoy.

it brings hurt to
my life to see so much
pain in this world
so i'll sit here
thinking of all i can do
to get through this dream
i close my eyes today

heavy thoughts seem to slip away
when You are here on my darkest days
i trust in You
many debts i cannot repay
too many clouds in my sky today
i trust in You

this is for the broken hearted
this is for the pain that's started
i know with the waters parted
you'll see we will be
at peace

so think clear
remember all that has
brought us here to stay
and don't fear
the face of change it will heal
and help deal with the pain
i open my eyes today

when i reach out for a hand to
guide me through the storm
pull me through the norm
i reach for You

we are born innocent
we are born innocent

shhhh....

listen...

...

do you hear it?

do you hear that sound?

that's the sound of my IQ

crashing, spiralling to the ground

Mrs. Janna Lee Cowan, mother of one of my closest friends and second mother to me, has died of cancer as of tuesday afternoon.

if any of you know David or the rest of his family, keep them in your prayers.

and so God guides another daughter home.

courtesy of the SWB crew.

enjoy.

http://www.swb-crew.net/movie_pages/white_tee.html

update begins now

i'm working.
e.i. cameron has no life.
or free time.

but it's fun. if anyone didn't know, i'm working at the Boy's and Girl's Club right now, so if you're ever free, drop on by. i work from about 9 to 4:30, but i'm not guaranteed to be there on either tuesday or thursday afternoons.

on a slightly unrelated note, i somehow managed to watch six movies this weekend. four were in theater, two on dvd. is that insane or what? it was a heck of a lot of fun though.

well, i'm out.

whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys
lay there on the ground and turn the dirt into your joy
from what i see and what i know it's all been boring lately
so i suggest we trade a question mark in for a maybe
time your riddles right and make a point that has no sense
make sure that you're smiling and the money's been well spent
innocence and ignorance it all goes hand in hand
i'm not sure that i'm right but i hope you'll understand
i hope that you're still waiting for the start that has no end
and all the plastic people have now become your friends
before you start to drift and your soul begins to scream
i just wanted to tell you that you're living in a dream

yeah i saw it

midnight showing

in the ginourmous franklin theater

with 1500 others

it was pretty freakin good.

[can anyone say 'sequel?']

so this chapter might be over,
but the story's just beginning.

-----------------------------------------------
so gather up your jackets, move it to the exits
i hope you have found a friend
closing time
every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
 - semisonic

when i was your age i was just like you
and just look at me now; i'm sure you do
but your grandfather was just as bad
and you should have heard him trash his dad
life's no picnic, that's a given
my mom's mom died when my mom was seven
my mom's father was a tragic guy
but he was so distant that no one knows why
now, your mother's family, you know them
each and every one a gem
each and every one a gem

when i was your age i was a mess
on a bad day i still am, i guess
i think i know what you're going through
everything changes but nothing is new
and i know i'm miserable, can't you see?
i just want you to be just like me
boys grow up to be grown men
and then men change back into boys again
you're starting up and i'm winding down
ain't it big enough for us both in this town?
say it's big enough for us both in this town

when i was your age i thought i hated my dad
and that the feeling was a mutual one that we had
we fought each other day and night
i was always wrong; he was always right
but he had the power and he needed to win
his life half over, mine about to begin
i'm not sure about all this Oedipal stuff
but when we were together it was always rough
hate is a strong word; i want to back-track
the bigger the front, then the bigger the back
the bigger the front, then the bigger the back

now you and me are me and you
and it's a different ball-game though not brand-new
i don't know what all this fighting is for
but we're having us a teenage/middle-age war
i don't want to die and you want to live
it's a little bit of take and a whole lot of give
it never really ends though each race is run
this thing between a father and a son
maybe it's power and push and shove
maybe it's hate but probably it's love
maybe it's hate but probably it's love

so jazz fest was, in a word, amazing.
i had sooo much fun.
too bad it's already over...

so i think i'm going to West Side Story tonight.
anyone want to come with?
actually, i know i'm going, i just don't want to go alone.
because going alone sucks
and is nothing but a testament to my uncoolness.
but i'll probably end up going alone anyways...
oh well

[T minus 361 days and counting]

jazz fest is in ONE FREAKING DAY!!!

i'm so excited.

oh, by the way, alfred hitchcock is amazing.
who else could film an entire movie in one single take?

prom was fun. . .
i'm reeeeally tired. . .

it's about time for my jazz binge, since two of the most glorious days of the year are fast approaching . . .

so i've decided that i listen to way too much music. it can't be healthy, but i love it. especially cause i've gotten around 5 new cds in the past couple of weeks [mass rejoicing].

the lovely list of groups/artists on the left are all people that i've listened to in the past couple of weeks. 43 of them. i could seriously list about twice  as many, and there's still more that i want . . .

isn't that so pathetic?

amnesia hits like a ton of bricks.
coincidently, so do term papers.

she lives from day to day

the shadows dancing round

her face

                  her soul

casting long black figures

slowly swallowing           life

                      light

hope

but watch closely

look into her eyes

see the light

[without]

the sun shining

on her face

in her eyes

reflecting                    

revealing

only a symbol

(phantom)

of the true light

within

the hope she has

                                 the dreams she holds

cradles                    

                          nurtures

she fights her battles alone

an army of one

beside ten thousand allies

invisible

intangible

inconquerable

she is strong but never silent

sure of where her strength comes from

one day, one girl army will overcome

it seems as though a plot has arisen...

                 ...as a phoenix from the ashes

      [i love that phrase]

happiness is just a word to me
and it might've meant a thing or two
if i had known the difference
emptiness, a lonely parody
and my life, another smoking gun
a sign of my indifference

always keeping safe inside
where no one ever had a chance
to penetrate a break in
let me tell you some have tried
but i would slam the door so tight
that they could never get in

kept my cool under lock and key
and i never shed a tear
another sign of my indifference
fear of love or bitter vanity
that kept me on the run
the main events of my confession

i kept a chain upon my door
that would shake the shame of Cain
into a blind submission
the burning ghost without a name
was still calling all the same
but i just wouldn't listen

the longer i'd stall, the further i'd crawl
the further i'd crawl, the harder i'd fall
i was crawlin' into the fire

the more that i saw, the further i'd fall
the further i'd fall, the lower i'd crawl
i kept fallin' into the fire

suddenly it occured to me
the reason for the run and hide
had totaled my existence
everything left on the other side
could never be much worse than this
but could i go the distance

i faced the door and all my shame
tearin' off each piece of chain
until they all were broken
but no matter how i tried
the other side was locked so tight
that door, it wouldn't open

i gave it all that i got and started to knock
shouted for someone to open that lock
i just gotta get through the door
and the more that i knocked, the hotter i got
the hotter i got, the harder i'd knock
i just gotta break through the door

gotta knock a little harder
gotta knock a little harder
gotta knock a little harder
break through the door

the darkness grows inside
this night is overwhelming
we've got to find the light
but the closer we get to it
the larger our shadows become

Polonius:
That he is mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity;
And pity 'tis 'tis true: a foolish figure;
But farewell it, for I will use no art.
Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect,
Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by cause:
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.
Perpend [consider]-
I have a daughter.