the best birthday i have ever had... hands down.i have survived 17 years, i am pretty proud of myself.  

summer has been great, except for that whole "looking for colleges" thing, and having to work when it is perfect outside. besides that it has been a whole bunch of nothing but relaxation. what more could a girl ask for? 

it would have to be the best summer i have ever had.

so many things going on at one time....  i am so ready for summer. but it seems as though everyone is leaving me!

have a happy summer everyone.

so i should probably be doing my research paper rough draft right now, but writing on this thing is sooo much more interesting.

i am now running for asb historian unopposed. i got my car fixed, but i didn't know there was anything wrong with it. i am a lawyer now, however i still plan to dropout of school and join the circus, and i think it is very safe to say that my life is extremely boring.

i guess off to that research paper now. what was i thinking when i took ap courses?

probably one of the best spring breaks i have ever had.

san antonio was fantastic. from dancing on the riverwalk to mariachi music to getting to feed a dolphin and meeting some very interesting people, i don't think there was a single boring moment.it was the most fun i've had in a long time.

then you can't forget about playing tennis in the dark or swinging on the playground right before i left, and then there was the ddr and strange jamaican music in starbucks.

and now i really don't want to go back to school. but i guess all good things must come to an end.

I'm Leavin' on A Jet Plane...

and i cannot wait for warm weather! isn't it supposed to spring here?

spring break feels incredible after last week. i don't think i have ever been that stressed out before.

I'll never be good enough for him.

But maybe that's okay. I am just sorry I wasted all that time.
It was there in front of me, but I chose not to see it. So it is my fault. He used to make me so mad, but I now see that I wasn't really angry at him just angered by the fact that I couldn't have him.

That no matter what I did I could not change his mind.
I had no control over it and I think that is what truly scared me.

maybe i should just let him go.

Life changes. I've changed.

I'm trying to find in this world where I belong, because I certainly do not know.
It seems like everything around me is changing-
friends are moving on, everything is moving on without me.
the world is turning and yet I am not turning with it.
I don't know what I believe or think. Everything is in constant turmoil.
I'm not the only thing that has changed, and that is the only thing I am sure of anymore.

so between model un, school projects, and mandatory basketball games i hardly have any time anymore.

however i am now cuban, which will be the coolest delegation at the conference. no doubt about it.

i also have a stuco convention the weekend after that.

i am torn between ap spanish 4 and psychology. i was never good at making decisions.

oh, and i'm in love. probably not the best thing for me right now.

"My life… is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." –Gilda Radner

How amazing would it be to have a name like Gilda?

it's been a very long time.
last year was fun. this year is going to be fun. i've made lots of new friends. i've been smart enough to keep my old ones. and life is highly enjoyable. what can i say, i'm lucky.

i love you guys too much. and i think you know who you guys are.

" Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love." -Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

I think the only things that are keeping me sane right now are my sister, my spanish class, and my speech class. God Bless all Three.

so yeah, guess who got cuba for UTK! mmm, UTK lots of interesting memories.

just think, only a small amount of time before school is out.

so yeah, life is going at a rather slow pace. and i like it this way. i don't feel so rushed all the time.

happy birthday michael and brian!

i love this time of year, especially the lights. and everyone is happy.

yay for the holidays.

so VUMUN was a lot of fun. one of the best i've had so far. i will miss the freshman, the druggies and the hot usn guys. until next time.

school's been great. except for that horrible ap english class. so much work and not enough time.

yeah, that's pretty cool.

just remember 10 days until thanksgiving break. woot. 

i love you guys. 

so yeah school= blah!

i cannot wait till friday. yes, that's right...VUMUN!

oh yeah.

spanish is killing me and so is english. i get lazier by the minute.

i am supposed to be doing research right now.

darn venezuela.

in one week- i have found that i am a quesadilla making machine, that homecoming just doesn't seem as fun as it used to be, and that good friends can make up for a ruined football game.  

i love you guys. i don't think i tell you that enough.

"No one can do me any good by loving me; I have more love than I need or could do anything with; but people do me good by making me love them - which isn't easy." -John Ruskin

fall break is in 2 days!
i have been so busy lately i hardly noticed.
homecoming week is going to be super crazy.
i can go ahead and predict the future.

i've finally decided that i want to be in a circus when i grow up. however they did not have this answer on the explorer test.
i know, its pretty exciting.

hmm, friday night. christmas carols and singing way out of key. also taking very long scary walks in the dark around the most crime infested neighborhood i have ever been in. spooky...

school is a definite drag. i am sooooooo tired i could sleep for two days straight.

i love my friends. like a lot.
no boy this week. unbelievable, huh?

i love you. and you know who you are.

edit : finally official spanish club president. wow it feels really good to say that. now, if i could only pass that spanish class...

The Song of the Oyster Bird
Alexander Gow

Many, many years ago
In a city by the sea,
Lived the Paddy Waddy Winkle
Who was wonderful to see.
He was colored like a rainbow,
He was furry like a cat,
And his wings were like the Oyster Bird’s.
Now, what do you think of that?

How the oyster Bird did love him;
How he loved the Oyster Bird!
Now this is true, my darling,
Though it sounds somewhat absurd.
They loved each other just as much
As we do, me and you;
But they could not hug each other,
As all lovers ought to do.

For their wings were made of stickers,
Just as sharp as carpet tacks;
And when they tried to cuddle
They would scratch each other’s backs.
Now it isn’t half like loving
If all that can be done,
Is to sit and talk about it.
That is mighty little fun.

But the Paddy Waddy Winkle
And the Oyster Bird could fly.
How they liked to go a-sailing
Away up in the sky!
They would talk to all the little stars,
Makes faces at the Bear,
Punch Old Orion in the belt,
Push Cassie off her chair.

They had lots of fun together,
But still they were not glad,
For they could not hug each other,
And that’s what made them sad.
So, they said they’d take their wings off
And give up their happy play,
So that they could love each other
In a really, truly way.

Now I think that they were wise
To lay their wings upon the alter,
Assuming in the place thereof
The matrimonial halter;
For a love that will not sacrifice-
And gladly do it, too-
Just isn’t worthy of the name.
I think so, do not you?

For when you love somebody
Whom you know also loves you,
You want to do something for him
That’s awful hard to do.
You’ve got to take your stickers off
and lay aside your wings;
But the hugging and the cuddling
Compensate for many things.

quite possibly the best poem ever!

we, siegel high school, have a two game winning streak. golly, what a game.
dinner, in it's own right, was a lot of fun too.

saturday, the freak show was born.
i think we are going to be a big hit. and unless you are christina, you will have no idea what i am talking about.

sunday i decided to move to peru.
sunday night i decided to join the rockettes. and play four square professionally.
and holes in the wall are fun.

and what does monday hold, hmmmm.
let me just reinstate that...
wow what a weekend.

i have decided that i like tropical depressions.
especially when you get out of school for them.
but in all seriousness, pray for those who lost their homes...

i also like this boy...
but then again, what else is new?

so far i give junior year an A++
grade A fun.

and someone special is coming back this weekend. YAY!

if i could sum up last night in one word, i would say....
couch.

it was amazing. i really had fun playing mafia at 4 in the morning.
defintely hard to drive home after an all nighter.
very, very hard.

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love- for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the council of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."
-Max Ehrmann

golly, i love that quote.

the official ending of summer.
i got to drive to school and then out to eat.
which isn't that big of a deal to anyone but me.

i think my classes this year are going to be good.
except for the fact that i have 2nd lunch and we don't get to pick our lockers.
however, i got lucky and got friends in all my classes.
and you guys are probably wondering, "who is he this time?"
but a good mystery never hurt anybody.

but all in all, i'm looking forward to this year.
and best of all, my mom isn't making me get a job. or well, not really.

so this summer is almost over.
which is kinda scary, because it flew by.
and yes, time can fly.

i've learned a lot. this summer had its ups and downs.

i learned how to drive, how to cope with "strangers" in your home, how to mambo with the best of them, how to make new friends and keep the old, and ultimately, how to let someone go.

i wouldn't take this summer back for anything.
it was just that great.

"The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things...the trivial pleasures like cooking, one's home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard."

so i am feeling a lot better.

and today was a nice break from it all.
sometimes you just need to get out of the house.

i love you guys.
very, very, very much.

my older brother has come to live with us.

this is the first time i have actually talk to the guy in 4 years.

it feels like a stranger is living in my house.

i don't know if i should be happy or well, not.

all of this is one big mess.

i have nothing to talk about. for the first time in a long, long time i am speechless.

sooo,
" God gave us memories that we might have roses in December. " -James M. Barrie

" Normal day, Let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savour you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it will not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face into the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky, and want, more than all the world, your return. " -Mary Jean Irion"

In memory everything seems to happen to music. " - Tennessee Williams