okay  so maybe i dont ever update this thing..its kinda hard with everything else u gotta monitor..xanga, myspace, facebook.......

oh yea and have a life too..........??

thanksgiving!


_{"...to have loved so
deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some
protection forever. It is in your very skin."~dumbledore}

kind of ironic. Toni came home thursday morning/wednesday nite after i wrote that entry.

God is so good.

math test tomorrow. studied for hours. now i just need some prayers haha..

why am I strong one day and not the other
why did You leave me here alone
why did You take away both my best friends



"Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, Here I am."
-Isaiah 58:9-

i know no one reads this but...oh well. college is a lot of fun. im beginning to realize though that its more than just about having a good time. im trying to figure out what i wanna do. im undeclared right now. which is why im at mtsu in the first place...since im not doin music at lipscomb. im trying to decide what i enjoy the most....and what i would love to do. yea i love singing but its not going to be my profession. im leaning towards a few things that i never thought of before. i love all my classes...or like all my classes...except for math. i hate that class. but i really really like english. I miss a lot of people right now...especially my best friend. I know shes havin a blast in Florida and part of me wishes i could be there havin a blast too. im already planning my trip down there to see her!!

i didnt really know how id handle moving out...but i actually like living in the dorms..i dont ever have a desire to come home but i still do on sundays to see my parents and do laundry. im not getting up to go to church on sundays anymore. its bothering me a lot...im going on mondays to RFC but its still really bothering me. i have a desire to go but its like i have absolutely no energy left by sunday.

ive met a loootttt of people though..a lot of really awesome people. the boy situation...um...haha theres a few of those. im havin fun and i guess thats what counts...but none of them are really what i want...or as good as im used to. maybe one day though.

well i got a paper to write...im sure no one read this because it was boring as crap but i figured everyone was tired of reading about "hot dogs". i hope yall's weekend has been fabulous!! adios

so you're makin a "hot dog" and ur really excited about it because its an oscar myer (beef) hot dog and those are the best kind. you always end up with the gross turkey ones and so you're just really excited about the "BEEF" ones. its been so long!! so you're looking in your refridgerator for the ketchup...and you just keep looking and looking and you cant find it ANYWHERE. What is a "hot dog" without the "ketchup"?? i mean really.. By now your hot dog is cold......and you're so fed up because you were SO excited about it...but with no ketchup you just might as well THROW IT ALL AWAY. so you do....and then you realize.... the "ketchup" was right in front of your face all along........ but the "hot dog" is gone. well its not technically gone. its in the trash can but its definitely not edible and its "damaged" and there are no more beef ones left.

so you're just left to go hungry.. because you really had your "heart" set on that "hot dog". and now you feel stupid..

u can make this story mean whatever you want.

photo from kat625

if only i had one wish
id want a million trillion lifetimes that I could spend with you
fall in love with you again and again

Thats my clay...my favorite...my best friend. the guy who makes me wanna be a better person, who makes me smile and laugh and not to mention the best back scratcher around. Tonite was his last nite at home. Tomorrow he's movin in up at lipscomb, which is very exciting but also it's kind of sad. Okay its very sad....but it will be okay because God's in control...and if I had to choose someone to be in control of it....it'd definitely be Him. Im gunna miss seeing him all the time...but it's gunna be alright. Not even an hour away..... i know it could be a LOT worse.

Well I need to finish my summer reading.....YEA i know....in COLLEGE.

heres a story. so i work at ruby tuesday as a hostess. two guys walk in and one decides to grab my butt. so i yell....a lot. and he tries to deny it, while stuttering like most idiots do. I chug their menus across some tables onto a booth and the whole place gets quiet. my brother, who is a server, sees it. after that, a whole lot of commotion goes on between them and my bro. then..he goes up to my manager and said "Okay one of two scenarios is going to happen. Either Im about to get fired, or you are going to talk to them." So they had to hold all the cooks back in the kitchen, cause they decided they were going to get a piece of the action. my manager talked to the two guys and then kicked them out. Why did I not kick him in the balls? I definitely regret my decision to just yell. oh well....ladies...if it happens to you....dont hesitate.

i hate not feeling in control.....i hate that i am putting my whole heart into something, but what happens from day to day isnt up to me. my hearts just out there on the line. ready to get stepped on. and more than likely it will.......so why am i doing this?

why do people have to be mean.....? it sucks...like.....i just wish everyone had God in their life and then maybe people would be a little nicer.

okay...Moulin Rouge is so right. The greatest gift you'll ever learn REALLY IS just to love and be loved in return. I mean REALLY! I guess I knew what it was like to love...before but.. okay....yea....can i just say that it is just about the most amazing feeling in the whole world??((not to mention extremely SCARY))

So life is good...and sometimes bad. God is definitely in control. It's just hard to see that sometimes.

I've always really sucked at goodbyes.
And I didn't do any better this time.

Life is good!! Yea.... I work & stuff....and Im not sure i like it too much. but it gets my mind off everything and i make money.

Sometimes its really hard to trust that God is taking care of you....especially when you think He's letting bad things happen. But, I know He is.....its just hard to 100% trust.

I decided im going to MTSU. It didn't go over well with some people.....or, actually... Just one person. I feel really bad about it, but I dont regret making that decision. (at least i dont yet)

its lunch time....so thats my update....
*wish me luck*

just got back from IMPACT.

today is my birthday.

ive spent it by myself.....oh but i did get to go to a funeral.

& somethin else bad happened

hmmmmm.......well.........im still happy and thankful. even if i am "alone" on my birthday .....i am never REALLY alone. God is always with me. Even if the purpose of all this isn't obvious right now...God's still in control

just to clear a few things up.....things are better...and back to normal. =)

i started a job this week...im not a big fan. im thankful for it but i just really don't enjoy it. i guess thats the way life goes.

my birthday is next weekend!! wow im finally going to be 18....its about time. haha and ANNA you're gunna be 19!!!! all the cool people have birthdays in June. ;)

pretty sure my patience was tested about 15 minutes ago when I was at the Kroger gas station. I waited for this guy to get finished pumping his gas, then he had to pay for it. It took him a while but I didn't really care. Well, 10 minutes later, as he was getting in his car....some lady decides to come from the opposite side and pull in before I could. Well she did, because i pump my gas on the opposite side, and he had to pull out my direction. I WAS SOOOOO MAD. I just wanted to scream at her.....she completely ignored me.....like i even honked my horn to let her know that I was waiting on the other side. she just LAUGHED. how can anyone who has an ounce of niceness in their body DO that? uhhh.....yea......i was so mad. but to my surprise i didn't jump on her and punch her face into the ground. go me....

well i think thats all i have, haha... u guys have a fabulous friday!!

i got this....i dont know why...but i did. maybe because im so bored. and maybe i wouldn't be bored if it hasn't been completely GROSS outside these past few days. Im trying to never go back to the tanning bed again...........but it's calling my name. I can't wait till Clay comes back from Cancun looking like a freakin mexican. haha anyway......thats all i got.

hey becca i think its kinda funny that ur favorite book is "babysitters club"